Motown don't worry about remembering who said what. Just keep posting and we can provide you with some strength. Would it be possible to clear away from under the tree? Even if you just bag up the junk? And then you could make it your task to keep it clear. A little bit of non-cluttered space can go a long way!!

Tillie I tried Feliway when I had mom's cat here. I was allergic so I gave it to a coworker who uses it to prepare her cat for a visit. I couldn't breathe! I am allergic to cats but naturally Ive gotten used to my cat seeing that we are 13-14 years in at this point.

I love the challenge with the gs and d, SubC. Great idea!

My cleaners were here today so my apt is lovely. I had gotten together some Christmas ornaments last night, including some new ones, and I bagged them up for them. I also gave away a book of gift tags. Also two bows I bought for my wreaths and then never used. Wasted money but they were thrilled. I had envelopes for them, this was just stuff I was going to donate and asked if they wanted. It's a bit awkward but probably okay.

I'm going to do a little more work then take a break and help an elderly neighbor renew his license. He needs it to get his prescriptions. My BF has found out that a different neighbor had "offered" to do it for $50. So naturally we shut that down. I'll see if we can do it on line and if not, I'll take Wednesday off and take him.

Tillie, I'm so sorry for everything that is going on with you regarding your personal life, finances and health. Prayers going up for you. Don't know how to help otherwise except to advise you to look into your state's version of Medicaid or check the insurance marketplace for insurance through the exchange program (AKA Obama-care) as it is based on income. Really helped us out when both hubby and I were unemployed. Also, having Medicare is better than having no insurance at all and you may qualify for Medicaid/exchange that acts as a supplement at little or no cost to you. If you turn 65 this month you could already have Medicare coverage just for the asking as it can begin the first of the month in which you turn 65. Please check it out so that you will not put off much needed healthcare for yourself.
Also, I bought some of the OUT! enzyme stuff at Wal-Mart because that one cat keeps peeing on MY TABLE! Hasn't worked. He has peed on the table for about 6 nights in a row. YUK! I got a different brand too but haven't tried it yet. May double up on the two to see if it makes a difference. Tired of that nastiness.

SubC, glad the GS's room is in good shape and DD is "maintaining". That in itself is progress because I cannot seem to maintain. I had mentioned a few weeks ago about having cleared and cleaned a good portion of counter space in my kitchen. Well, it is all gone again and the stack is higher that has replaced it. 🙁

I can't seem to keep footing and slip back down every time I think I have gained ground. My tree is not complete and the kids have piled up junk around it so that I am not even inspired to wrap pretty packages to go under it. Uninspired to do much shopping and don't know what to buy if I did. Kids are unappreciative and greedy. Unsure how to teach them otherwise. I wasn't raised like that and neither was their mother.

Oh well. There are worse things.

Gotta get back to work. I find it difficult to remember what I have read and by whom it was posted so I am not good at replying. No way to see it once I begin a post and relying on my own memory is futile.

Hi Tillie, glad you have more peace in your kitty family.

I am up early today because I have to drive Dh a ways for a medical test (expecting it to be ok) that will use at least half of my day.

The other half I have some pottery things to do and I am planning to finish cleaning up the dining porch. I started decorating it yesterday, and realized that I had stopped seeing how bad it was. There are items on the floor and there were also stacks on two chairs! Half the table is still covered.

Yesterday I puttered around cleaning up and decorating. I also did a lot of laundry and put it away. My main living areas are better, but the basement is getting bad again. I'm not too worried because it seems to always get bad at Christmas time.

I sent d❤️Gs and d❤️Dd a challenge last night to get everything off their bedroom floors before bed (I did my bedroom floor first) d❤️Dd said her floor is "maintained" (nothing new on it since we partly cleaned it up) but no progress. However, the boy's room is spotless, so he gets to pick the next challenge.

Good Afternoon

Dark, gray, cold and sunless day.
It's 3:30pm and the sun has not shined at all today.

The other day I bought some Feliway spray from Amazon.
I ordered it Wednesday and it arrived Friday, a day earlier than expected.

Anyways...
It's a cat pheromone type thing that is supposed to relax nervous, scared or aggressive cats.
I noticed that the Veterinarian was using it.
It works very well on Scooter.
I can pet him more often without him going into attack mode.
He is not being mean or vicious, attack mode is just his way of relating to others.
He grabs your hand and holds on with his claws and puts his teeth on you but doesn't bite down.
When he was a tiny baby he would dig in with his claws and bite down hard as he could, but not in a mean or vicious way.

My big orange boy is naturally jumpy, nervous about imagined things.
He is calmer now and being more sociable.

Twinkles, I can't notice any difference there.
He has always been friendly, talkative, sociable, relaxed and calm.

Hi Subclinical

I am so happy for you that you have this big beautiful tree to enjoy this year.

Donating some costume jewelry will be a fantastic way to rehome it.
Think of how happy the child will be when they can give their Mom a beautiful present. 😀

Now I am very worried, but I don't know what to do.

When my grandfather was drinking and smoking himself to death, he reached a point where he needed help with everything and he went from verbal abuse to throwing things and hitting my step grandmother. A couple of times she called my dad for help.

After the second time my dad told him. "M is not going to buy you any more alcohol. No one us going to bring alcohol into this house. And if you hit her again, I will come get her and take care of her and leave you to die here alone."

But there is no one to come get you.

You have to promise us that if things get really bad you will call Tatoulia. Maybe a lawyer could help you find a way to get intervention and stay safe? I don't know. We do not want social services moving you because of his hoard, and we do not want a big involuntary cleanout that makes him dangerous....

I finished putting up my tree yesterday. For the first time in years, I got all the ornaments on! Even the big glass balls my cousin brought me from Venice that usually look too big. It is amazing! It looks so much like the trees from my childhood.

I have a small task to work on today - the pottery studio is collecting items so that kids in shelter and transitional or section 8 housing can "shop" for gifts for their moms (and dad's I guess, but it's run by an organization that serves women). Mostly people are donating coffee cups and vases, but Ben said we can bring in anything that is appropriate. I'm going to sort through my costume jewelry. I know I have too much, and I think this will help me part with some. I'm also going to try to look around with intention as I decorate the rest of the house. I'm pretty sure I have some scented candles from student gifts too.

Hello Friends 🙂

When we got the deed for the house we also signed the papers for the "homesteading act"
so they can NOT touch our home, it's safe.

Medicare is crap, pays for nothing much really
that's why people must buy Medicare supplemental insurance and still pay a LOT out of pocket too.
I can not afford to buy supplemental insurance so I have not bothered to apply for Medicare.
I will be 65 at XMas this year.

I have been very angry too that I could not get surgery.
Spent decades in extreme pain and unable to hold down a job due to the sickness.
I even asked my parents to loan me the money for insurance or the surgery and promised to pay them back soon as I started working again and they refused.
They had millions.

Him being home all the time is a big worry.
I never mentioned before but he drinks heavily now.
Soon as he gets home from work he goes into the garage because he is drinking hard liquor and smoking cigarettes.
He thinks he is hiding his drinking and smoking from me.
I am not stupid.
He is not supposed to because of his health issues but he has become a mean nasty alcoholic.
Now he will probably spend his whole days smoking and drinking out there.
I have no hope that he will do any cleaning or work on the hoard or do any home maintenance.

Being home all the time is not the concern - it's seven days a week of junk hauling that is a concern. If he just stayed home in his garage, he would be ok.

I think if you have a homestead on your house you will be okay. It varies by state but a homestead will keep you from having the debts go against the house. Not sure of laws in NV.

I'm frankly more worried about him being home all the time.

Tillie I will never let you starve. But then again, you'd never let yourself starve. You are too resourceful for that. But if you need me I'm here. Not an issue. No strings.

So, it is not as bad as it could be.

You will not lose your stash (add to it if you can)
You will not lose your house
You may eventually be able to get medical help through Medicare? I don't know how old you are, but you should ask someone about that. It makes me very angry that you can't have your surgery.
The food bank will give you food.
So we just have to worry about your electric, water?, gas?, car expenses, and a few other basic needs.

Also we have to hope that if Steven can't get the medical care he needs he dies before he runs up debt against the house. It would be good if you could get him to sell you his half for $1 to avoid losing it to medical bills. It would protect him too.

Hi Tat

Hi SubC

The house is 100% mine and also 100% his.
Doesn't matter who dies first the house is free and clear still the survivor's.

I have absolutely no medical care.
Back in the late 1980s I became too sick to hold a job because of cysts and tumors around my reproductive organs.
I could not get any medical help because I was not disabled because with surgery I could be cured.
So I was basically told to F off and die B.

Steven and I are both on a bank account.
We both have access to all the funds even if the other dies.
He has put me as beneficiary on his pension.

Plus I have a secret little stash tucked away in a wall safe hidden in the pantry and I have all the keys.

Correct, I am not married and Steven is not married.
If we were married I would be responsible for paying for his medical bills.
I am only responsible for any bills I make. 😀

Until the end of this month he is officially on vacation leave because he had the time saved up.

Your post did not sound cold to me at all.
I appreciate plain talk and have a hard time understanding when people are "pussy footing" around.

Tillie this is a terrible shock. This is so awful.

This is going to sound very cold because I am only looking at the practical aspects of the situation.

Is it set up legally so that you inherit the house if he dies?
How do you (Tillie) get medical care now?
When you say "we" have savings, is that in both names, his, or yours?
You are not legally married if I recall correctly?

Hello SubC

I own one half of the property, Steven owns one half, no mortgage or liens.

He is "looking into" things
concerning services/benefits.
His pension would only pay one quarter of what he made per paycheck.

The biggest thing is the health insurance he received from his state job.
It is necessary.
He takes a million pills and needs regular Dr. appts.

He is not talking to me or answering any of my questions.
He seems to be oblivious of the situation.
He actually went thrift shop shopping this morning!
He doesn't seem to understand that he needs to strictly budget now.

I told him to go to the food bank and get some food but he refuses.
The food bank gives food to anybody, you don't need to even be needy.

We have some savings but they will not last long especially buying health insurance and prescription meds.

Oh Tillie.

I don't know what to say or how to help.

Can you reach out to the people around you? Look into social services? Who owns your house?

Hello

My life has been turned completely upside down.
An actual S.H.T.F. scenario.
An unending unrelenting panic attack compounded with severe depression.

Too hard to explain since my brain is in a whirl with worry.

Steven quit his job...

My heart is melting.

D❤️Gs got home from his dad's today and his mom showed him what I did with his room. He said "wow! She must love me a lot!" I told her to tell him he is correct.

Motown, i'm not planning a dumpster - just regular trash service. I cancelled it almost two years ago. He kept a garbage can in the shop though, which is now full because he won't listen to me about what to throw away or not, and he puts things in it that make it difficult (dirty, unsafe) for me to sort it out. A few things are just too big.

We have stuff in the yard like a small stack of pipe sections and broken plastic flowerpots. We don't have anywhere near 72 cans of trash! Just some broken stuff that won't recycle or fit in a grocery bag.

I'm sorry you feel that way about your grandchildren. I wish that it would be fun for you to spend time with them - for all of you. But if you only have one day of vacation, I think you should spend it on something you will enjoy.

It is good to be back able to check in with y'all occasionally to stay inspired. I, too, think the dumpster service is a great idea--and, pun-intended, a truly CLUTTER FREE gift! Hubby and I are not exchanging gifts this year. He never has gotten me anything and I usually go overboard to get him everything I think he might like and he really doesn't care. So I'm saving money this year by just skipping him altogether. Best case scenario is that he will be expecting something and not get it so he can be a little disappointed (some of his own medicine as the saying goes).

Anyway, I am contemplating taking a day off work between now and the end of the year (have vacation hours to use or lose) but not sure when to do it--before or after Christmas. I could do before and we could visit with his brother or I could do it after and clean some in the house (but the kids will be home so I won't really want to be around them--they are always in the way).

Guess I will throw a dart at a calendar!

Hi Subclinical

I believe the trash service would be a great way to make a really huge difference in the shortest amount of time.
Then after your property is all tidied up
you can go back to your usual ways of disposing of trash.

About the quality socks...
you have scrimped & saved & sacrificed all these years because you wanted to have money to spend on all of your children's needs.
Now it's good for you to have the nice quality socks and shoes for your own needs.
ENJOY them.

I would love to have six inches of snow!

Mostly what we get here is rain.

There is some snow on the ground now, but it is melting. We get overnight lows in the high twenties, and then it gets just above freezing and rains all day. The goat paddock has six inches of bootsucking mud with strategically placed rocks. I just know that one morning i'm going to go out, slip on a thin coating of ice on a rock, and land in the muck.

I ordered myself some very fancy warm socks. A lot of my everyday socks are getting holes in them and dh told me to go ahead and get three pairs of the really good ones. I'm kind of in sticker shock because I don't spend much money on myself, and for socks?! And I already got brand new shoes this year.

But I need to get more into the mindset of having a few really nice things. If opportunities to get a deal show up, that's great (and I did really well on my thrift store discount day work jeans!) but I need to not go overboard. One pair of $20 natural fiber socks that is warm and comfortable and will last two or three years worn often is better than 10 pairs of basically plastic $2 socks that are less warm and will also last two or three years - worn far less often and layered and still not warm enough.

Dh and I are not doing Christmas presents for each other, so I can think of them as my Christmas present :).

Actually, I am thinking about getting him a Christmas present - i'm thinking about signing up for three months (minimum requirement) of trash service for some post construction/deep cleaning clear out. It's a hard choice for me, but after working at d❤️Dd's House, I think I may be ready to accept some additional contributions to the landfill in return for order and time. It's six can a week service, so it would be up to 72 cans of garbage! 😳

So far only have six inches of snow.
But it's the kind that's wet and heavy and makes the best snowperson.

The rule to prevent having an overabundance of items, AKA clutter,
is for every one thing you bring in new to your home
you must then get rid of one thing you already have.

When starting from a point where there is too much stuff already in the home
the rule then becomes to release 2-3-5 or more items for every one new item brought in.

SubC, Good idea on the donate in order to go purchase. I am planning to keep the mattress just for throwing down as an extra sleeping place for kiddos or something. There is that bag of cookbooks in my car still so I will take that next time. Plus I am still keeping a box in my bedroom that things can be thrown into when I run across them. So far there is a shirt, a small saucepan, a hat and one other thing (can't remember right now). So when it is full I will drop it off. Maybe I should get a bigger box and make it a goal to fill it to "earn" a trip to shop!

Hi Motown!

That is a lot to change all at once. Be prepared to forgive yourself and just start again if you drop the ball on some of it. Maybe pick the one most important part to focus on doing it every day.

Also - there is a really cool craft themed store here that takes donations. I had to make a rule that I can only go there when I have something to donate. You could try a rule like that for goodwill - you could take the folding frame mattress on your next trip.

Good Morning Everyone

Hi Motown
Keep working with "Buried In Treasures" and it will help you achieve your goals.

Hi Tatoulia
Anybody willing to help find "the right Jeans" is a saint.

Hi Subclinical
Wonderful questions and advice.

Gently snowed all day yesterday and plans to continue doing so today.
Had over a dozen Robins frolicking in my garden.

SubC, glad to hear your support. How is your issue working out with the daughter and grandson and the great purge? I know you were exhausted but that kind of results had to have been exhilarating at the same time. I hope that she can maintain for the boy's sake at least.

SubC and everyone else,
I have decided to go to Goodwill Sunday dollar day only once a month beginning in January (unless my mom wants to go which is usually the reason we go--she's 90 and I try to do what she wants). I have great ambitions for the coming year and lots of changes I hope to implement. Sunday afternoons (that I don't shop Goodwill) will be used for meal planning, food prepping ahead for the week's meals, getting everyone's schedules together so we are all on the same page for which kid needs to be where and when and with what, and to have the week's wardrobe chosen and ready to don in the mornings complete with having it steamed/dewrinkled and with accessories chosen. My daughter will help me with putting together different outfits that I probably wouldn't think of. I've been doing better about getting it out of the closet if it doesn't fit or isn't something I can be comfortable in at work all day.

Lofty ambitions, huh? I also plan to use a planner which I have never done. AND, get this, BUDGET!!! Also, which I have never done successfully. I am taking money out of savings and putting in my checking account today so that I can start the year with all the bills caught up and maybe stay on an even keel in the coming year.

Anyone have thoughts on my plans or advice? I am definitely open to suggestions or things to keep in mind. I know that it will take dedication but what I have been doing hasn't worked so I'm willing to give it good effort at least. All the whil still decluttering slowly and letting go of things. I just took apart a fold-away bed that we had bought for granddaughter to sleep on but it kept folding up with her in it! LOL! So she has been sleeping on a futon instead. So I rolled up the mattress and put it in a bag in the shed and sent the frame/springs to the scrap metal place with hubby. Just got about 4 square feet of space in my house!!!

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I hope to sit down to a movie or at least a television program for 2 hours a month. That's my goal anyway.

Tatoulia, good luck with the jeans shopping.

Motown, enjoy the book!

I am also very anti-waste. I cancelled my trash service 22 months ago because it was a hassle and I produce so little trash that it was a waste of money (now I throw my little plastic grocery bag away at the gas station or grocery cart return)

But here is the thing - buying stuff you don't need is also wasteful. It wastes your time shopping, and your money, and it keeps the widget away from someone who does need it so that more widgets have to be created to fill their needs.

If you obtain only the clothes you need (or want and will wear) and wear them until they are not wearable anymore, you reduce your costs and your storage needs, and there are no big bags to donate (except to goodwill which recycles unwearable clothing for use in other products such as paper or stuffing)

How many days in a row do you think you can stay out of goodwill? Can you skip dollar day? What would you like to do with that time instead of shopping and waiting in line?

Motown! Great to hear from you! We count every success here!

I loved all the talk about my jeans falling down. I asked a woman at work today to take me Jean shopping in January and she will. I would rather go bathing suit shopping than jean shopping. There are too many styles and sizes and too much to cope with. This one co worker of mine has take. Me jean shopping twice before so she's been through it when I've gotten frustrated and upset. And she's great. I must try and and show her so then she can adjust what she is looking for in a jean for me. She didn't believe me the first time we went that I get really upset but she believes it now.

I'm tired. Back in office again tmr AM. Two days in a row. Plus I have a meeting at 9 and I'm really not a 9:00 person. Isn't this pathetic? I'm a professional yet cannot find my way in to the office.

Also, I just discovered that I can download and read the book Buried in Treasures! I have started the first chapter and I can already tell that it is going to hit home with me. My mom and dad grew up during the depression and those learned behaviors have stuck on me as well. Hubby and I are both recyclers and frugal with resources. If I were able to have a yard sale it would help my house as well as my (especially Christmastime) budget. However, no one comes to my sales and I just end up disappointed. So that's why I tried donating several garbage bags of clothing to a nearby church clothes closet only to find that the bags were left outside (probably still there) because the caretaker broke her arm and can't process them through. I have mentioned how disheartening this information was to hear.

So, I at least packed away two boxes of pants and jeans that are just slightly too small for me. (like one size or 10-20 pounds). Unfortunately they are still in those boxes in my bathroom but at least they are out of the closet!

And I mentioned going to goodwill several times lately. I didn't buy any clothes for myself! This is huge for me.

YES,

You can definitely celebrate it as a success! It's not just one strand of lights, it's thinking about your behavior and making a good decision instead of just following your usual habits without examining them. It's a big step!