Thanks Dianne, was so great to hear from you, it is so sad and we at least have this site to share where we can finally be understood, and not feel so alone. I understand every word you wrote, as if you were speaking for me. We have wasted so much time, money, peace of mind, and now we can try something new.

Diane, you're very brave.

I feel like I've lost so much in life it would be too much to face the extent of what I have really done to ruin myself.

Tillie, keep thinking about you and hope you are OK, would it help to call Cory? Take good care of yourself. more hugs

Tillie, please let us know how you are doing when you get a chance.

Today was hot here, tried to get some stuff done, don't have energy in heat, and will be hot all week. When I put the window air conditioner in the window yesterday, I slipped off the chair and fell back and hit my head, and think I am still hurting a little from that.
Well, the big news, I finally got a camera and took pictures this afternoon. It hit me like a ton of bricks looking at photos. I thought it was too late to take "before" photos because I have done so much work, well plenty was captured.
I went through shock and sadness when I saw the mess left. It was like catching your reflection in a window and saying, when did I get old and fat. It was like looking at someone elses hoard and seeing how deep they buried themselves and yes there was some disgust, how could they live like that? Then realizing how bad my life has become. And I actually didn't think I was a real hoarder when I started this process. Finally accepted that I am a hoarder, and really thought I was getting over it, until I saw the pictures tonight. Had the thought, it is really more than I can ever get done. Then the thought, maybe this will make it easier to toss anything I do not love. I have great stuff in here, now need to be focused on inside house, and let garage go for now. Need to deal with difficult stuff in here and not just escape to garage and throw away easy stuff. Tomorrow will be better, just feel in shock and sad right now.

Tillie I am very, very sorry about your cat.

Are you able to stay in the big house with the other cats until the water is fixed?

OMG Tillie. I am so, so sorry.

Hi Tillie,

OMG! He killed your cat?! THAT IS HORRIBLE! I'm so sorry to hear that he did that. 🙁

(((HUGS)))

But if my boyfriend ever hurt or killed Matt, Cory, or Snuggles, I would immediately leave him. And I would also file a police report saying that he killed one of my pets.

SORRY 🙁

(((HUGS)))

Tillie, you are in such a difficult situation, so sorry things have gotten worse for you. You are such a wonderful person, you certainly deserve better. Hugs and good thoughts.

Hi All,
I am in Northern California yet again, helping our other office get some new hires and clean stuff up. I am flying home tomorrow at 8:00pm so will be driving to the airport while the support group is going on. Sorry to miss you yet again! I really do not plan on this, but my life is busier than ever these last couple months and I can't seem to get even my weekends off. I will try to get on soon with you. Hope everything is still going great for everyone that takes the time to participate on here 🙂

Oh, Tillie, that is terrible. There is much I can forgive people for, but killing your cat? I don't think I could forgive it. I really don't know how you are coping, at all. And your garden. I know you love your garden and it gives you pleasure.

What can we do to support you? What do you need that we can provide? We are here.

Hugs
Roxie

Tilliie, I apologize. There's nothing worse than advice from someone who doesn't know the facts. Good luck.

How bad can it get!
When I decluttered the livingroom he killed my cat.

Tillie: what would you say to someone who was having this problem with a stubborn husband, no water, and a deadly heat wave? My guess is it would be, " Enough is enough! Get a plumber and get it fixed!!"

This situation is more than an inconvenience. It is rapidly approaching life threatening. So he gets upset-- does he get physically abusive? If not, how bad can he get? You need to take control for your own safety and well being.

Another sleepless night.
Still no water.
He refuses to do the one thing that I said needs to be done to fix this problem.
Instead he has spent a ton of money replacing parts that are only a few years old and do not need replacing.
There is a part on the very bottom of the pipe down in the well. This part has a valve that opens to allow water in then closes to keep the water from draining back down into the well.
I believe this valve is stuck open and needs to be cleaned or replaced.
We have had this exact same problem once before.
A simple and inexpensive thing to do.
I am not strong enough to undo the screws and do this myself or I would.
My garden is dead.

LynnS, sorry about that drive in the storm! Yow.

I did rally today. Brushed teeth, sorted and dealt with a big pile of mail, unboxed the two shrubs (mountain laurel and hydrangea) that have been sitting outside a few days. They look okay but wrangling with the box had me in a sweat.

I also put away all clean dishes and rounded up the dirty.

Hi Roxie,

I didn't know that that was how Matt got his start. I should totally start doing that. 😀

My parents actually have a neighbor that I think might possibly be a hoarder. I think he's possibly either a hoarder or a serial killer; and he hides the bodies of his victims in the house. Because his house is really big and he lives alone in it. And my parents say that he is always gone most of the time and that he never has any company over. I remember once while I was over at my parent's house, I noticed that he had his garage door open and that he had a lot of stuff in it. And I also noticed that there was a table sitting in the middle of his garage. After I noticed the table, I thought to myself, "Okay that is really weird! He has a huge house all to himself and he has a table set up in his garage? Why wouldn't he just put the table in his HUGE house? I wonder what he is hiding in there!" Lol.

Hi, all. Okay, I'm experiencing the classic CFS "brain fog" right now, probably because of messed up sleep cycle. I was up until around 4am then slept until around 3pm when a taxi driver kept honking for their passenger next door. I hope I can remember to respond to each of you, but if I don't you can blame the brain fog.

Karl, that was terrific how you stopped and did the 15 minutes segments during chat. I hope someone shows up for you tonight, but if not, you keep right on with the work as you have been doing. I'm proud of you.

Tillie, what a mess with no water. Any today? Water is an ESSENTIAL element for all of us. If he doesn't get it fixed pronto, can you just go ahead and get a plumber in? Deal with fallout later if need be. Meanwhile, keep misting yourself with water, drinking what you can, and limit your movements to avoid sweating it all out. If you can, drink liquids that have electrolytes in them (sports drinks). In my many experiences without AC I learned how to get along in record temps. Not pleasant by a long shot.

Diane, I smiled so much about your wonderful day with your friend. You are reaping some rewards for your continuing astonishing hard work in clearing out and cleaning up. Proud of you.

MayMay, I am just now reading Matt Paxton's book "The Secret Life of Hoarders," and was interested to learn how he drummed up business for himself in the beginning. He went around and spotted likely hoarder homes by the condition of the yard itself (unkempt), the debris around the home, and whether curtains were closed and/or pressed up against the window panes. He and Cory apparently came to this business because they were desperately seeking work, and look how well they're doing now. And how much they are needed.

I don't see a lot of working getting done around here today due to the late start, but there is always tomorrow and I surprise myself sometimes by rallying.

Hugs all around to you great folks.

Status update. I was busy on Monday and didn't get any cleaning done, but at the Tuesday chat, CS and I motivated each other to pause the chat and do a couple of 15-minute segments right then and there. I did some on Wednesday without the timer, and then on Thursday I went for the top cupboard shelf in the kitchen, and discovered that I had a lot more empty containers than I'd thought. I moved the platic ones to a staging area (I might end up keeping one or two of each size for food storage), and tossed out the old coffee cans.

This evening I've got another helper session scheduled, but nobody has responded to it. I'll stay around in case someone shows up unannounced, but I'll assume it'll be a solo session.

Hey All
yesterday we had a power outage after the bad T-Storm and we finally got power restored at 9am today. Everything in the freezer was ok as well as the fridge.
I got another job bid at work to work tomorrow from 6:30a to 2:30p.
Last night for the first time in my life I broke out in hives from the heat. With no power to run fans it was a nightmare to try and keep cool and from itching.

I was able to work on Wed for a 8hour shift but getting there was also difficult due to the storm. Just as I got off the expressway the storm poured down and I could not see the lines on the street let alone which lane I was in. It was raining so hard I could not see out the windshield very well at all and had to hopefully pull over in some parking lot to try and wait out the very bad T-Storm for a while but waited for about 8minutes. I was finally able to carefully make it to work but the entrance that I was supposed to enter was a pond of water and didn't want soggy wet smelly shoes all day for a standing job which I probablly would have been sent home if my shoes reeked from the water.
Lightning and thunder was everywhere.
Last night Hammond and some other cities was the most badly damaged from power outages.
I have a doc appointment to get tested as why sweat so much more than others at work. I can't wait to go it's driving me crazy sweating so much. I drink alot of water to try and stay hydrated but still end up sweating it all out.

I hope that all is doing ok. So sorry to hear someone not having water, I'm sorry I can't remember who it was but hope for the best of you.
Take care all.

Hi Tillie,

I'm sorry to hear that you have no water right now. I hope your husband will be able to fix the problem. At least you have a place that you are able to go to for water and to stay out of the heat. 🙂

Hi diane,

I'm glad you had a good time with your friend today. It is great to hear that you are able to have people over at your house. You have been doing such a good job de-cluttering. I'm very very PROUD OF YOU! 🙂

Wow, that sounds like a classic sitcom situation, Tillie. Letting a plumber handle the problem would be an admission that he can't fix it himself, which I expect he interprets as a challenge to his masculinity. So, the trick is to find a graceful exit that will get the job done without hurting his pride.

If you were to buy new *parts*, do you think he'd be able to complete the fix using them? Or has he done enough damage that you really need an expert plumber now? (I hope the new leaks aren't *inside* the wall; that would make things worse!)

Hi Diane 🙂
So happy you and your friend had such a great time. 😀
What a mile stone, having company inside your home. Happy Dancing for you! 😀
You are amazing and we are so lucky to have you here posting your fantastic progress!

I just returned from the big house. Had two cats there with me.
The central air was heavenly and I washed up at the sink with cold water. 😀
That is where I am getting my water from.

I have a couple of those misty maker water bottles that spray a fine mist.
I have a big pad that contains water retaining beads inside it and when it gets wet it stays wet and cool for a long time.
I have a freezer full of those frozen squeezie pops and sherbet. 😀

A fridge full of cold wet fruit and water.

I feel guilty leaving the other three cats here when I go to the big house.
The two that came with me did NOT want to come back home. LOL 😀 Neither did I.

My hoarder is out in the pumphouse working on the problem. I don't allow him in the big house because I take my caretaking job seriously. 😉

If I have water here again by Saturday I might be able to save all my garden plants.

Please keep your fingers crossed that he can do this. 😀

this site is like dessert after working all day, so fun reading all the things that are posted. Tillie I am aching for you, heat is so tough to live in especially with no water, so sorry you have to live in this. Can you live at the big house?
Maymay, so heartwarming to read about helping other hoarders, I was thinking the same thing today.
Today my friend came at 7:15 am and we filled her SUV, took load to Goodwill, returned and filled more bags and she took notes for my June challenge. It made it so much quicker to have her here. We sat in my living room for awhile, which is a first in years, she pointed out how well I arranged art and noticed my eye for color and design, felt so good, it was a miracle to enjoy company for the first time in years. We did as much as we could until it was too hot, then another trip to Goodwill, then we went to a park with a river, walked and sat and talked, it was the best day. When I got home, finished cleaning out a few bins, until sweat got in my eyes. Still a little room in garbage cart for pickup tomorrow, so will go back out when it cools down a little, too hot now. Tillie can you make ice and blow a fan on it, and wear wet clothes. Maybe even go to library for the day or any airconditioned place

Hi Everybody! 😀

This is day two of a very hard time here.
I have NO water.

This is all from him trying to fix a leaky outside faucet.

Rather than going to the hardware store and simply buying a new faucet and replacing the old worn out leaky one he scrounged assorted bits and pieces out of his hoard and did a really terribly job.
These old pieces in his hoard are old worn out items that he drug out of dumpsters. They are no good. That is why they were in the dumpsters.
Plus none of the parts he managed to find in his hoard were the right size or type so he Mickey Moused a bunch of them all together into a sort of stupid contraption.

Well, one minor leak turned into two major leaks.
He also has managed to mess up our water pump and the holding tank is now no longer holding water.

We are experiencing a very bad heat wave. Temps over 100 degrees for the next week.
With no water I have no evaporative cooler.
With no water all my garden plants are going to die soon.
I have 10 gallons of bottled water for me & the cats to drink.

He refuses to call a plumber. 🙁

WAY TO GO Roxie! 😀

Hi Roxie,

I would have loved to help Green. I actually wanted to help Green ever since I read her first post. After I read it I felt so bad and it made me just want to hop on the first airplane I could get on and go to wherever she lives and help her right away. 🙂

I would love to help someone locally. A little over a year ago I actually met a hoarder in "Wal-Mart". I was wearing my "Steri-Clean" hoodie and she saw it and came up to me and asked me if I KNEW CORY CHALMERS! I told her no but that I wish I did because I have a huge crush on him. Then she told me all about her hoard. I was in TOTAL SHOCK! I talked to her for like an hour. And then after I left I started to feel bad because I didn't offer to help her. After that I promised myself that I will never let another hoarder that I meet go without help. 🙂

Whoot whoot! Today I loaded the car with recyle items and the SNAP tests I ordered for the cat shelter. I recycled at the recycle center and dropped the SNAP tests at the vet's office. It's hot out and I'm wiped out, but that was a big step for me today.

I also brought the large garbage bin back up the driveway to my house so I can fill it before next week's pickup.

Oh, and I brushed my teeth. Yes.

Roxie, you are right, of course. These boards do offer a place for support, suggestions, and acceptance which so many people in hoarding situations need because of the isolation and hopelessness that usually accompany the hoarder's life. A place to vent and share and also to realize you are not alone is very therapeutic.

Hopefully people visiting and participating in these forums will be inspired to act slowly and effectively before it becomes an emergency and insurmountable crisis.

You offered some realistic and practical tasks for Green. I know from your posts that you are facing difficult challenges of your own but you always offer kind and supportive comments to other posters. Perhaps the best thing about this site is the opportunity to see that just because you have a hoarding or clutter problem it does not prevent you from being a valuable, kind, and lovable person.

Thank you for your comments!

Oops, Diane, I forgot to mention: MANY people love to get bags of costume jewelry because they enjoy the hunt through the items. So what you can let go of in terms of bags of stuff, do. Donate. Let someone else sort. hehe

Mariana, I can hear your frustration at not being able to help in situations like Green's. However, I believe these boards ARE a realistic help to anyone in distress regarding hoarding or squalor, no matter what the stage they are in, don't you? It matters to be heard.

I went through my pro cleanout with no emotional support (I didn't come here until afterwards) and it would have helped significantly had I been HERE before and during, not just after.

Regardless of any progress or lack thereof, I still feel I need to be here every day to continue on my own journey, reading and posting. Perhaps I might feel differently if I had any local support, but I don't. I think many of us have isolated ourselves during the course of everything. I can go weeks without any human contact.

MayMay, I believe Green is in California and on a tight time limit, so I don't think you'd be able to help out in this case. Sure would have been nice. Maybe someone locally needs just that type help (and to give you more experience) so think of ways you might locate such persons. Perhaps hooking up with Adult Protective Services or local social services agencies? But don't overdo, since you have your own self to look after well first. That slippery slope, dontcha know?

Diane, you do so much it always amazes me. I wish I had 1/10th your energy and ability. I love hearing about your newly painted spaces and plans for organizing. One thing I've seen in tool workspaces is that pegboard, with a particular spot allotted to a particular tool. Then someone has outlined the tool with a black magic marker so you can see at a glance which tool hangs where. Way cool to me.

As for your hoarder friend: it doesn't sound to me like she is anywhere near ready to deal with the issues, so I think it is wise for you to watch your boundaries there in the meantime. Take care of you first. If she is a reader, you might donate to her one of the good hoarder books. If she is a computer person you could point her to the old Squalor Survivors board. That board is where my own recognition that there might be a problem (MIGHT? lol). The "I must have a whole day" thinking is much like the black and white thinking you find when you look at Stinkin Thinkin sites.

Recovering hoarders can think it Technicolor, right? 😀