hi Alanna and SubC again. I have made progress. It took 3, or 4 times going into my bedroom and tring things on, then taking breaks, but I tried on everything in my bedroom closet. The right half is full of things that are too tight. A few are just barely too tight, like 5 pounds too tight, to those are closest to the left side. The far left is a robe and a couple of jackets that fit. The center, which is on the left side of the closet is all clothes that DO fit. The ones with long sleeves are closer to the coats since I won't wear them often in the summer. I am surprised at having several nice tops I had forgotten about, that fit! Now I have something nice to wear to church tomorrow. I also was sad about a few things that I thought fit, but were too tight. But now I have all the things that fit in one space so I can stop being in a panic every workday, trying things on and throwing them on chairs because they are too tight.

I am enjoying my iced mocha!

I also have one drawer full of tank tops and tees. I have terrible arms so have to wear a light cardigan or something layered over them, but again, I bet more than half don't even fit me. So later or maybe Monday I will try all of them on and put the ones that fit either in the closet or in a drawer so I can layer them.

All of this makes me happy and proud of myself. It also dismays me that most of my clothes did fit just a short 6 months ago. I feel so huge. I also feel motivated to lose that 15 pounds so I can wear more of my clothes.

I also did all my laundry, and it is in the dryer, so I will need to put it away.

I also note: I own 3 pairs of jeans now. Others got holes in the thighs and got tossed. Two of them are nicer and I wear them to work, but they are very close to wearing holes in the thighs. One pair is baggier and not very pretty and I wear it at home. I do not want to buy new jeans. I have many jeans that would fit if I lost the 15 pounds. But I may have to buy one pair in the meantime, so I can avoid an embarrassing accidental thigh rip at work.

Alanna, I am the only hoarder left. My ex was a hoarder but he is gone now. I have to say, I am so frustrated today that I might be able to purge some stuff if I got down to it, in the garage. I too have been frozen with OCD in the past, checking locks and stove and lights over and over and over. I have to fight myself really hard sometimes when I take a donate box to the car or drop it off - I REALLY have an urge to go through it again and take things out. I have gotten better this year with a few practices:

1 - I made a rule that I can take things out of a donate box while it is in my house, but once it is in the car, it is off limits. It goes in the very back and NO looking or touching anything in there.

2 - I started the Daily Tally thread. Check it out. You can use it for anything. I count items that leave my home. You could count bags of trash that go out without you checking them. Set a goal - like 20 bags. Then, every time one goes out without checking, post about it, even how you felt, and count it in your post. (1/20, 3/20, 19/20 etc til you hit 20/20). This is how I got rid of 1000 items last year. It is very motivated to hit that goal and post on the thread!

3 - I pray. When I have anxiety, and want to check locks or worry about donating something I might need later, I just start praying. I tell God I trust him to take care of me, to provide what I need, and that I want to be free. I ask him to break the chains of slavery to possessions.

4 - I just force myself sometimes. When there is a hard thing and I am on the fence about keep or toss, I just force myself, turn my brain off, and get it out of there. Then I try and block it from my mind.

I hope this is helpful to you.

Ok, so do the bottles.

Also OCD and hoarding can be related or copresent, but they are different things. My dd1 has OCD, but she did not get the hoarding gene. I do not have OCD.

When reading the following, please remember I am not a psychiatrist and I have no professional qualifications related to mental health, I am just sharing second hand information.

DD's therapist told her giving in to the checking made the OCD worse, so she is not allowed to go back and check that the stove is off for example. There are things she just has to trust her Dh to do and she is supposed to try to distract herself from thinking about them if she starts to worry. It is hard for her because basically what she is being told is to accept that she is feeling anxiety and not try to fix it.

In your case, this would look like having trash cans, putting trash in them, and letting Dh take the trash out every week without you checking it.

That might actually help. It would at least get the trash out of your house.

Zoloft often helps with OCD. You might want to ask your doctor if medication would help you. You might not.

Hey SubC

My psychologist also said to start with easy things - I thought about what would be easy and that would be my empty bottles (I thought of keeping 2 or 3 spare and getting rid of the rest - this would cause some anxiety but not an overwhelming amount). My current stumbling block with anxiety is actually letting the trash be collected - I'm so fearful of something important to me being in the trash that I have to check everything before the trash goes out (which I realise is OCD but it's like hoarding-OCD if that makes sense, because it's not a fear of contamination). I don't know how to get past this anxiety without checking, and when things get busy (as they have been recently) then the trash backs up and frustrated Dh more. I don't know how to break this down into easier/more manageable/less anxiety inducing tasks. any ideas? (I'm not at the point where I can't flush the toilet but considering the trash issues, I can well understand how people get there and I really don't want to end up there.)

I like your analogy of climbing a mountain 3 feet at a time. I was making some progress until things got busy at work. I want to get back to making progress.

Thanks for the advice about reassuring Dh that the space is a sanctuary for him, not a license for me to mess everything up. You're right that he might think that (even though it's not my intention) and I hadn't considered that he might see it that way.

Glad you're still making some progress even if you're puttering. I'm sure you need rest after a busy year teaching - I always feel burnt out at the end of a semester.

Hey Lila

I'm sorry that you're experiencing pressure and anxiety from within. I'm not sure which is worse, pressure from within or from others. But I can totally relate - I wish I was normal.

I'm sorry to hear that the empty shelves have things on them again. Are other in your family hoarders as well or just storing things? Sharing space when you're a hoarder is difficult - if someone moves something that I put somewhere then I second guess myself and it feels like I'm going crazy and losing my mind (especially if Dh can't remember moving the item, which is often). I hope TotsDad can help you and that you can make some progress today. Don't feel dismayed that they saved books too - that means they appreciate books and will enjoy the books you saved too.

Enjoy your iced mocha and well done on making progress with sorting already. 🙂 I also need praise/rewards to keep on trying to make progress, so don't feel bad. I tend to do well with praise as a reward, which is sometimes difficult if Dh doesn't notice the progress. I must try some other reward methods to get myself making progress.

Thank you all for being here and all the support. I really really appreciate it. <3

SubC, you got it mostly right! Yes, I have owned my large home for almost 30 years, and raised my children here. It has 6 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms - a lot of space, with living room, family room, storage rooms etc. I would like a smaller home without all these stairs. So I decided to sell it, and get a different house in this area.

Then, TotsDad (ds#3) decided he needed a bigger home, with all his children. He and his wife own a house only a mile from me. TotsFam moved in with me so he could remodel his bathrooms and paint and do repairs so he can rent out his small home. Once that is done, they plan to buy my home from me (I will give them a good/lower price, but need to have enough to buy myself a place).

So all TotsFam's stuff is here in my downstairs and garage.

And yes, Teen and Son (youngest son) live with us too. There is not much space left at all! I am sorting so that when I move, I will not take a hoard with me. That's how I got rid of over 1000 items last year - TotsDad helped me purge the garage and family room.

I LOVE the idea of empty boxes to hold space! I am going to do that, maybe with empty (not clear) bins too. People tend to fill space that is open.

So I decided my reward would be an iced mocha when I am done with the clothes sorting. I then realized I would have to go spend money etc. So instead, I made a nice chocolate syrup on the stove and it is cooling, and I will make my own iced mocha when I am done! I also brewed a pot of good coffee which is cooling.

I started at the far end of my closet where I put 2 dresses and 2 concert tee shirts, and my leather jacket. I took 4 winter/dark items out and folded them to fit into a tote. Then, I started trying things on, one by one. Things that almost fit, go into the far end. Things that fit and I can wear now, go on the left end. I am trying on every item in the middle, because I don't know with this weight gain what looks ok or not, so I must try on each item.

Maybe I will even donate something. I got tired and took a break but will go back to it as soon as I am done here.

I also went in the garage with TotsDad and he said he did not move anything. Teen moved all those small things onto the empty shelves. She will not say why. Not happy about that. But TotsDad moved all his totes that were moved, back, and he took down the bins I couldn't reach, and now I know which ones are mine and can label them and put the on the shelves.

I am looking forward to my iced mocha.

Lila, we all have inner toddlers who need rewards. it is a trick finding healthy ways to reward them. I often cannot be trusted to deny myself the reward when I fail to do the thing.

I am trying to understand your family housing.

You (own?) a house. Living in that house are tot's fam, another son, and teen.

Tot's fam (owned/rented?) another house. That house is (sold? Empty? Partly full of their stuff?)

Tot's fam will (stay in your house? Move back?)

You will move?

Teen and other son will then live where?

Dealing with the use and ownership of space must be really hard right now. I am sorry about the garage. When I started clearing out, sometimes I would put empty boxes back on shelves to hold the space. Now, sometimes I still find one (brain "oh lord, what is in here?" Opens box "oh! Cool!")

I have discovered that I have no energy today. I am just puttering. I did go get feed. And I stopped at the little library in the feed store town. I got three books and found out the summer reading program starts June 10.

Good morning! Alanna and SubC, what an interesting and helpful discussion you are having about spouses and decluttering pressure. I find it helpful because I never ever got pressure to declutter from my ex, because he was the biggest hoarder, like a professional level hoarder, and I was like a "hobby hoarder" so I was the nagger. Now that he is out and all his stuff is gone, I am dealing with a similar anxiety about stuff that you both are expressing. But the pressure is mostly coming from within me. Like, I can't stand this anymore. I hate not being able to find anything, having piles of random stuff I have not used in years but cannot bear to part with...

I think now that I have TotsFam in my house and am thinking about moving out, I have almost 30 years worth of stuff to think about. It is stressing me out.

Last night I asked TotsDad to move my totes out of his huge mass/wall/blockade of totes in the center of my garage, so I could sort them this morning. To me this seemed simple: take down my totes (mostly clear, and only 8 or so of them) from the high walls of your stash. I was going to sort, label, organize and put them all neatly on the empty shelves where ex's stuff was.

Well, I went in there to sort this morning and stuff is moved. Not only are my totes not down where I can reach them, but stuff from the other side of the garage has been placed on those empty shelves! Just random items. I got so stressed out. Why is the stroller now in front of the shelves? Why are boxes of small items on the shelves?? Now, not only to I have to sort and organize, but I have to re-clear the shelves, get the totes down, find somewhere for all that small stuff to go... omg. I got so overwhelmed I walked out. Will ask TotsDad for help when he gets up.

Before I left, though, I saw a blue tote that is mine and opened it. And it was full of TotsFam's children's books. SO many books! And I thought, omg. Here I am trying to find my book totes so the grandkids can read, and TotsFam already HAS bins of kids' books in here they are not even using! I can't even say why this dismayed me so much. Maybe because I saved all these books for 15-20 years... but, I dunno. Ugh, I just don't know. I might be purging some things when I get in there today, out of sheer frustration. But I will keep the books because I want a shelf for the kids in my new house.

I hate that this is so overwhelming to me. I haven't even started on the clothes yet. Sometimes I promise myself that if I get xyz done, then I can have a treat, or go to the coffee shop or something. What could I do that is healthier? I feel like a toddler who needs a bribe to be good.

Hey Alanna!

You know the thing you wrote about your friend and the pantry? That was a really good exercise and you saw how you could get rid of things when you didn't "have to."

The way you get through the anxiety is through gradual build up and repetition.

So, start with the things that are easy to get rid of and focus on getting rid of them as often as possible and notice how that helps things.

Now, you might be thinking "nothing is easy to get rid of."
Since you are still married I doubt that - if you have to, praise yourself for flushing the toilet. (There are people for whom this gets so bad they can't, not the direction you want to go.)

Next find something that causes you a little anxiety. Think about what is the worst thing that can happen if you do that thing. Is it worse than another fight with your Dh? Is it worse than him leaving? Now is the hard part - do the thing (put the clamshell in the trash). You are going to feel all the feelings. That is ok. Feel them. Sit with them. Cry or scream if you need to. But the feelings will fade. Come here and get some praise if you can't get it from Dh. Notice how doing the thing made things better.

And do the thing, or a similar thing, again. And keep doing them as often as possible until they aren't so hard. Then do the next thing. It's like climbing a mountain. You are not going to climb half a mile in an afternoon on your first try. It is too hard. But you can climb three feet. And then another three feet, and eventually 6 feet will feel like 3 feet, and twelve, and eventually, you will realize that the top of the mountain is just three feet away. And it helps if you look back to see how far you have come instead of ahead at the ground left to cover.

Talk to Dh about what you are trying to do. And if you start with the idea of a space for him, make it clear that this is not a transaction - "you get this space and I get to mess up everything else" - it's an approach to starting the process that gives him a sanctuary during the time it is going to take you to get better. The goal is to keep expanding the clear space. You may eventually get to a point where you negotiate which areas are going to be minimalist and which areas will have more stuff, but that is not now, now you can both agree that the situation is not acceptable. You are just trying to work together to find an approach that allows you to improve the situation with less conflict.

A therapist might help with this (communicating and working together) if you need one.

Hey SubC

Thank you so much for your post and sharing, it really helps and you've given me some great practical advice to try.

I've stuffed everywhere and run out of space, hence the piles elsewhere. And you're right, finding things is a problem and getting things results in more mess. Sigh. Wish I could magically fix myself.

You're so right about the fear response being worse with ultimatums. I was also wondering where I could stash things to hide them before Monday because of panic. Today has been a write off, between the fear and the emotional exhaustion and tears from another fight and feeling like I'm such a huge burden, I've got absolutely nothing done. I'll try talk to Dh later but not sure if he'll understand the ultimatum making things worse, in which case I'll have to sort through as much as I can tomorrow.

Thank you for your advice - I'll ask Dh about a space/room just for him (at the moment it feels like he wants the whole house organised). I really like your comment about praise for even small things, that'll really help me (because it seems that the progress I have made this year has been unnoticed because of everything still left to do, which is very demotivating).

What tools and supports would help with getting rid of things with anxiety? Then perhaps I can ask my psychologist specifically or find some resources to work through things myself. I'm not sure if my psychologist has much experience treating hoarding, I got the feeling when looking for support groups that hoarding is not really treated in this country (probably because there are so many other bigger problems in the country that hoarding isn't such a big issue).

Even though my students are technically adults, they still come to me for help so I still try my best to help them learn and understand, so I completely understand raising the bar each year. 🙂

Hope you got all your chores done. Thanks for the heads up about CEO's post - I hadn't seen it, but I've now posted a few thoughts for CEO.

*REcluttered the surfaces, definitely not decluttered.

Alanna, we cross posted.

Some things get easier over years of teaching, but yeah, good teachers just keep raising the bar. Sometimes my family says "you don't have to." and I just look at them like they ar crazy. These are children! Of course I have to..

Your students are adults, so I think I would feel less responsible for them.

I used to stuff the hoard to try to make Dh happy, but then all the spaces were stuffed and I couldn't find anything and things got ruined and I made huge messes when I needed something, and I still decluttered the surfaces.

The first step that helped was choosing one space that mattered to Dh and getting it clean and organized and keeping it that way. At first it meant that I piled everything in another room which became completely non-functional (in the face of your Dh ultimatum, I would have been panicking and desperately stuffing whatever is in those piles somewhere where he wouldn't see it because the fear response was too strong to let me deal with it at all. (Can you maybe show him this?)

So the space Dh chose was a room that had mostly his stuff in it where he works when he is home. We moved things so it only has his stuff and our stuff chosen by him(furniture, art, family photos and some rugs and throws) and agreed that I could not come into the space while carrying anything (I was allowed to ask if I could come in with a cup of coffee or glass of wine. Now I am even allowed to fold laundry in there while spending time with him, but the key is everything that comes in with me leaves with me, even if I am just going to the bathroom for a minute.)

Now I am at a point where when the surfaces get bad I can see that the problem is getting bad again and get back to work. If I just stuffed the things, I would lose my hard won functional spaces AND my brain would tell me the problem had been solved.

It was really hard for Dh to get to a point where he could work with me and accept the nature of the problem and that his way wasn't helping. (If I broke both legs, you'd build me a wheelchair ramp, right? Not keep yelling at me that I needed to start walking again?) I had to make progress for more than a year before he started to really believe I could. There were a lot of fights and tears.

Unfortunately your psychologist is right, but there are tools and supports that will help you do that and they should be offering those, not telling you "just do it"

Another thing I asked Dh for was praise when I made progress. Even if he had to fake it at first because the progress was so underwhelming. now I get the praise for the things that Dh thinks are ridiculous here. Because the tiny dopamine hit that you get when somebody sees that you threw out the plastic package, acknowledges that that was a hard thing for you, and praises you (it's about seeing the effort really, not about judging the action) really does help with the anxiety and regret of doing the thing. And it helps you build new pathways in your brain.

What your Dh is doing is making the anxiety response worse. I'm not blaming him, what he is doing is a totally normal human response. But if he can come to understand that he is not dealing with a totally normal human and adapt his response, he can help you get better instead of fighting with you.

I think we posted at the same time SubC. 🙂 Glad you're on vacation and that you're feeling less wiped out than last year. Good luck with all the chores today.

Good morning.

Lila, I think your clothes plan is good. I was gone for teaching and for staying late in my quiet, empty room doing evaluations.

It is the first day of summer vacation. I am much less wiped out than last year. And - I have done all but 15 evaluations! My plan is to do three every day so they are a small daily task, and have them done on Wednesday, but I may accelerate.

My classroom trash can was full yesterday, for the first time ever. I have mixed feelings about that, but I am reminding myself that my time is a resource too and I need to focus effort where it will make the biggest impact.

Today I need to go to the feed store, and I will work in the garden and on the laundry and dishes. I don't know what else, if anything. I will discuss the teacher gifts on the tally thread as I get to them, but there were not too many this year. Some kind notes that I have reached the point where I can read and recycle, a couple of gift cards for food or drink, cookies, candy, and tea will take up no long term space.

One family gave me a beautiful set of D&D dice with red dragons on them.

Please go to the welcome board section and help CEO - they seem to really care about helping.

I'll check back later.

Hey All 🙂

This is my 5th year teaching. I always think that the workload will get better the more I teach, but it never does - I always find things to improve.

So glad to hear about the baby SubC! I'm glad that the mass hasn't grown and that there's a good medical plan in place. Thanks you for sharing about the pranks, I loved reading about it and I could imagine the chickens in the Maths class, the chalk outlines in the history class, the for sale sign, and all your snowmen. 😀 The director's open door policy for the bathroom also gave me a good chuckle. You're doing a wonderful job and I'm so glad that it's a happy environment for all at school. Hope the evaluations are going well and well done for leaving the clam shells in the bin! (I know all about fishing things out the bin, so I know how hard that was.)

Thanks Tatoulia. 🙂 I still have assignments to grade, but at least there's progress. Sounds like you did lots of chores this week, well done! And I'm glad that you had a lovely time and dinner with your friend. I must get into the habit of running the dishwasher every night (or at least doing the dishes), it'll help with the backlog. Hope the mammogram went well. 🙂

Lila, well done on finishing your busy week at work. 🙂 I'm sorry to hear about your health issues - I hope you heal soon. Well done on getting so many chores done, despite the health issues. I think your plan for the clothes sounds great - having them organized and packed by size will definitely help. Maybe you could also try some of those vacuum bags for the clothes that you're packing? The ones where you use a vacuum to suck out all the air. They supposedly help save quite a bit of space (I haven't tried any yet, I haven't gotten to tackling my clothing).

Please pray for me this weekend. There are a few piles that are really frustrating DH and he says that they are going out with the bin on Monday, whether I've sorted them or not, so I need to go through them today and tomorrow (instead of doing the washing I had planned). SubC - I think I'm the opposite; DH gets stressed by the mess so my surfaces aren't too bad but the cupboards are a big mess and there are piles that don't fit in the cupboards. I want to organise and go through things and tidy them but I just haven't had a chance. SubC - I agree that threatening the hoard is counterproductive but unfortunately it falls on deaf ears with DH and he says that I'm hell to live with and it's making him depressed (he grew up in a minimalist home, so living with a hoarder is probably worse for him than someone who grew up in a normal home). There has already been many tears but not really progress unfortunately. I went to see a psychologist and the net result and help from that was that I need to struggle with the anxiety and get rid of stuff despite the anxiety. Not very helpful because if I knew how to get the anxiety down to a manageable level to get rid of things, then I would have done that already.

Thank you all for being here. At least here I feel like a person with a hoarding problem, rather than feeling like I'm the problem and a failure.

Hope everyone has a good day (better than mine). @>- - > - -

post 3 today - everyone seems to be gone on Fridays...

I managed to find a mostly empty tote, and took all of the winter/heavy/dark colored sweaters out of my drawers and off the chairs, and folded them into the bin. This leaves me with an empty drawer and a half to put summer things in.

Tomorrow I will try to sort the hanging clothes and only have things that fit on the left side of the closet.

Hope you all are well.

post 2 today, trying to sort something out in my mind. Comments welcome.

You probably know I have a clothing problem. Now, the problem is worse. I was comfortable with sweaters for winter. Now it is getting hot, and my wardrobe has to change. It is too hot for sweaters except for a light cardigan here and there.

Also, all the clothing my friend bought for me in fall (nice, lightweight blouses that I wore under cardigans or alone) - ALL of them are too tight. I probably am 10 or 12 pounds heavier, and while I can get them on, they cling, I can't move freely, and my fat rolls are accented. I am so sad about this.

I have dozens of clothing items all over my room, in dressers, closet, on the chair, in piles. I only have 3 or 4 tops that fit that I would wear to work, and a few okay for home. I have worn a sweater on cooler days to fill in the gaps but now it is really too hot.

I have spent hours looking at clothes online but keep stopping myself. I do NOT need more clothes, and certainly not BIGGER clothes.

I thought perhaps today and tomorrow, I could put all the sweaters/winter things into a tote and put in the storage room. Then perhaps I could sort through and put the things that will fit if I lose 10 - 15 pounds on one side of my closet. Anything that fits now on the other side (I need to try some things on and see if there are more that fit now). Then bin the rest up and label them by size.

I cannot get rid of the clothes that will fit me if I lose 20 - 30 pounds. I have some nice clothes in those sizes and I do hope I will lose the weight. I am trying and maybe the new Dr will help me. (Thyroid issues).

What do you think? Maybe if I can find a few more tops that fit, I can have it all organized and not feel so upset every morning when I am trying to get dressed.

hi all.

I have successfully caught up on all of your posts. I am proud of you about the clamshells, SubC, that was a wise decision. Alanna, so interesting to hear more about what you do/are doing. And Tatoulia, happy mammogram day.

I worked basically full time this week, several big projects, everything a success, and am exhausted, but enjoying my day off today. I am having some health issues that are painful and bothersome, and limit some of the things I can do. One affects my sight, so my beloved reading time is greatly curtailed. But, I am determined to enjoy my time off.

Today I have:
- made breakfast for myself, Teen, and Tot
- unloaded and loaded the dishwasher
- hand washed the rest of the dishes
- washed off the kitchen counters
- cleaned off the stove
- made a box of trash to go out and asked Teen to take it out, which she has not, so I will have to after I ask one more time
- spent a little time with Tot and my dog

I hope to get my clothes washed today and do a bit of cooking and cleaning out the fridge.

Anyone have good recipes using asparagus stems? I was given a gallon bag of stems to chop up and use in dishes. Recipes welcome, or, how could I save these? Can I just freeze them, do you think?

Last day of school. I am never ready.

I got my first two classes of evaluations turned in last night, so only a little behind on the plan and six classes to go.

I have told one of my high school students that he can read his today before I submit it. I would like to do that with that entire class.

I will need to do an items update this weekend - teacher gifts and hallway scavenging are happening.

I am so proud of you, SubC! Also thank you for the news on the baby.

It is hot and sticky here in Boston. And I'm reminded of how much I truly loathed myself and my apartment when it would be humid and my house was a mess.

Yesterday I bought my students donuts for their last (Wednesday) day of classes (with me, this year)

Some of the donuts came in plastic clam shells. I did not bring the clamshells home to wash and haul downtown to the recycling drop. I threw them in the trash. I feel bad about this, but also I am really tired and overwhelmed right now, and I am proud of myself for actually being able to do it and not fishing them back out before the end of the day.

That is very reassuring news about the baby. I'm glad for you and your daughter.

Tatoulia, I love my kids and I love my school. I wish every single kid in the world could have a place like it.

I'm glad you had a nice dinner.

I'm having a very happy day.

Dd had her next ultrasound and the mass has grown very little. They expect her to go full term. She will have ultrasounds every week and ob appointments every other week, and at week 32 she will have an MRI. After the MRI they will meet with the baby's surgical team to make a plan. I am feeling much better.

Tomorrow I don't have to go anywhere.

I LOVE hearing about the school! So much fun and so creative! Hard not to chuckle and be proud! Those are some caring kids to do it up like that! And it takes teamwork! Congratulations on helping to raise some remarkable children, SubC!

Sending prayers to all who need them.

Garbage out, recycling out, everyone has clean litter boxes. I am not making the progress I'd hoped on my weight loss but hoping to see some good results soon.

Mammogram is Friday afternoon. I've had to reschedule due to illness back in March. I'll go to the Museum of Fine Arts on my way home.

Had dinner with a delightful friend tonight. I had a gift card so I asked her to join me. We had a good number of laughs!

Good morning.

Bean spent the night last night, but is still sleeping because it's very early. Dd has an ultrasound this afternoon.

I am about halfway through checking the projects. There are a lot with no legible name, which is stressful because I will have to check them during class on Wednesday if they are claimed. (So little time). I have been putting them straight onto their evaluations, which gives me a head start on those. I'm actually hoping to have the evaluations for two classes done Wednesday night. Two more on Thursday, two Friday, and the last two over the weekend. We'll see how that goes... Thursday and Friday May be a stretch.

I didn't really tell you much about the pranks - there was a giant inflatable unicorn on the front lawn, a "for sale" banner with a phone number that apparently plays music on the front of the school. Gift wrapped stairwells, a room of balloon animals, the departing math teacher's room was done up over the top in chicken theme, including Mylar balloon chickens in every seat. The director's office door was moved to the girls mezzanine bathroom (at graduation, when summarizing their accomplishments, she added that they had "given new meaning to her open door policy". ) they put up photoshopped "wanted" posters of the history teacher and taped "chalk" outlines on his floor - apparently his class is killing some of them.

Many little chickens, space aliens, and google eyed puppets hidden in the halls for the little kids. Also QR codes to funny videos.

Alanna, getting to a point where I did not have to hide things (usually) from Dh was a big step in getting better. It involved a LOT of talking, and a lot of patience and honesty and crying. I have a lot of surfaces that are bad still, but my approach has changed. I never collect everything and stash it anymore. Now I actually unload problem areas onto surfaces - because when I can really see the problem, I am more likely to try to fix it and less likely to make it worse. My drawers and cupboards are generally no worse than average to disorganized "normal" people now. My bins are labelled. Even if I know Dh will think the label translates to "stuff we can throw out" (ie "old t-shirts for quilt", "paper gift bags", "tiny gift boxes and empty containers") so now they don't get churned and when I have such a thing that I want to keep, I have a place to put it and can quickly see how many I already have (do I really need this one? Is the bin full?) and I can find them when I do want them.

Ok I went to the pharmacy, stopped by the grocery and got milk, and stopped at BF's former business to pick up my packages. Now I'm doing a load of light colored delicates.

Want to empty the dishwasher soon.

SubC, I was trying to remember what they did last year! Yes the snowmen! Nice that you've been able to reconnect with that student!

Alanna, that is a lot of papers to grade! Great job!

I've done some grocery shopping today but the cat food and cat litter are so heavy. I haven't ordered from chewy since I'm not clear when I'll be home. But at least I can clean everyone's boxes tonight.

I need to run out for milk and so I might go now. I'm running the dishwasher early (Alanna, I find it very soothing to run the dishwasher at night and I run it every night; I don't wait for it to be full)

I've washed a blanket and my sheets are in the dryer right now. Might be a good time to dip out.

Hi Lila, hi CM

Well, despite trying to turn over a new leaf, I have slept late this morning. I was just so tired. I must focus on the grading today.

Alanna, how long have you been teaching?

They did prank my room - just snowmen (again) they hid 20 one inch plastic fellows around my room. I've found 17, but there is a chance that the other three wandered off in the pocket of a student, since tiny creatures infest the school regularly and are fair game. The snowman thing is an ongoing bit between me and the students. Supposedly I hate snowmen. It comes from a series of projects a long time ago.

Hey Ladies 🙂

Sorry for the delayed post - I had to finish marking 134 tests. Still got 4 proposals and 35 assignments to mark, so I'm totally with you with the overwhelm SubC! (Also with the laundry and dishes.)

Tatoulia, I'm glad you've managed to get rid of things that have bad feelings and memories associated with them. That's very freeing. Glad that your busy week went well and that you got to visit with a number of special people. 🙂 Spending time with special people is always uplifting. Glad you're keeping up with things despite being busy! Ah, thank you, I wish I could send my laundry to you for help. <3 I also do towels and sheets separately, especially since the towels leave fluffs on the clothes if I don't.

SubC - the hiding things because you don't want to fight sounds so familiar, I do that too! It's just frustrating because I'd like to spend time cleaning up but with all the marking I don't have time and the stress of all the work makes the hoarding and OCD checking worse (does that happen to anyone else, stress making hoarding and OCD tendencies worse?). Glad you managed to clear a few things with DD! The planting sounds fun - I didn't know popcorn was a separate type of corn (guess I always thought it came from sweet corn- silly me) that's really cool! Senior lock-in sounds fun, what happened with the pranks? Was your classroom chosen? 😀 Graduation - I can understand the tears, it's a bittersweet event. But lovely that you still keep in contact with your past students and that you reconnected with your favourite student from last year. Good luck with all the work, I'm in that boat too. <3

Lila - I'm sorry to hear you had a rough week, sending thoughts to you. <3 Shame, is your friend that got hurt better? Sorry that you're still struggling with Teen. I really hope you can find a program that's closer to you that can help. I hope you managed to relax in between the work, to at least recharge your batteries a bit. Thanks for the idea on apprenticing - unfortunately there's not that many people in the industry in my country (my Prof., who's retired now, was the best person), but maybe I can find someone to help with some guidance on the overarching principles (getting from early career academic to more established researcher - even if it's not directly in my field, knowing the path to get there would be helpful, as none of the things I've tried have produced fruit unfortunately). Finding natural solutions to a weed problem sounds really interesting! I'm very pro natural solutions, as far as possible. Haha, that could be another problem of mine, finding too many things interesting. 😉

Hey CM, hope you're doing well.

Sending love to everyone and hoping everyone has a great day.

Ok, trying to be quick - I am overwhelmed.

Tatoulia, thank you for the update!

Lila, we are planting rainbow popcorn (like tiny "Indian" corn). This is our first time, but last year we bought some yellow popcorn on the cob, buttered it, and popped the whole cob in a paper again the microwave - very fun!

Today was graduation, with the usual tears. Several students from previous years attended, and it was good to see them. One person came up to me with their phone, because they had apparently been texting with my favorite student from last year, and he said "are you at graduation? Tell (Subclinical) I lost the stupid card with her e-mail!" So I took the phone and texted it, and we are in contact again. 🙂

I have so much grading to do. And evaluations. And laundry, and planting, and weeding! One side of the scullery sink is empty. Carry on!

Hi everyone!

I didn't end up going to the steampunk fair because one of BF's nieces is moving to NYC and that was the only afternoon I could see her. I brought pastries from the new patisserie in my block and we enjoyed our coffee and pastries. Her move is a very big deal for a lot of reasons.

Busy week. Thursday night was an annual dinner for an organization I used to volunteer for. I was appointed to their board for a five year term. Every year there's a dinner and all last and present board members are invited. The year I was honored,BF joined me and on the way home he said, what a nice group of people. And they truly are.

Today I took the train out to see a friend and her mother; many many years ago we went to Europe together. They were already there and I hopped over for two weeks of their vacation. They are moving to FL so I needed to see them before they left. Train was 1-1/2 hours each way. Totally worth it.

Tmr I have a free day and I am very happy about that. Not sure what I'll do. Monday, I am having dinner with a friend and Tuesday lunch with a different friend. Much more eating out than I like but it will be fine.

Keeping up,with things here. I would gladly do anyone's laundry for them! But the key is, I need to have a place to put it once I'm done! Otherwise it's a mess. I also do small loads. I think the things get cleaner. And I don't mix towels with sheets or other stuff like that. But if you can drop it off here, Alanna, and give me a week, I'll do it with great zeal.

Okay going to wash my face and go to bed!

Good morning.

Alanna, thank you for your helpful tips. That program does look like something we would want. I like your idea of contacting them to see if they know of any west coast or even midUSA options, plus will ask the cost. Teen gets disability now so she does have a bit of funds. I also wish we were neighbors! I would happily do your laundry in trade for yard work! Funny how we all have our preferences. Perhaps when I move, I could find a friend or neighbor to do just such a thing with!
oh, no mentors, that is hard. Maybe you can call or email one of the local places that works in a field you like, and ask to apprentice someone for free on the weekend, just for an hour or two. When I was researching, we were trying to find a natural solution to an invasive weed problem in our wilderness, and I worked under the weed control for the county. I enjoyed it a lot. I hope you find a topic you really are interested in!

Tatoulia, that is profound about little things and the happiness/peace/memories in your home. I need to look at my things with those eyes. I have a few things I have had for ages but they make me sad when I handle them or consider them. Just because I've had them for decades doesn''t mean they have to stay.

SubC, how cool about the room decorations. That sounds like a fun tradition. Also, I have never heard of or thought about planting popcorn. What kind do you plant? How does it turn out? What is your preferred popping method? That sounds like a fun project with my grandkids someday. Hope to have a little garden area at my next house. Praying for your family.

I had a rough week, extremely stressful mostly Teen, but also a lot of important work projects. I finished one big gathering I was in charge of and it went off well but someone got hurt, so that was terrible. (Nothing I did caused it, but still, a friend). Then finished the final session of a class I help lead most of the year. We take a break for summer, so that is done. I have 3 more big things to finish the planning for that I have been working on plus 2 upcoming trips. Today my hurt eye is really bothering me so I needed to get in as an urgent visit, which means I have to reschedule my mammogram, which is short notice and they won't be happy.

I have so much to do but really want to relax. Will try to intersperse the two. Today is my day off but there is stuff that can't wait for work... maybe an hour's worth of work. Plus the house is quite dirty now which doesn't happen often but no one has mopped in weeks and the counters need scrubbed.

I hope we all have a good day.