SubC,I sleep miserably every night. It has been this way all of my life. Even as a little kid I had trouble sleeping. I know the toll that takes and I hope you will sleep better tonight. I can understand your resentment toward your husband; even more so after reading the letters my mother sent to her mother. Seeing my mother fight for us kids.

I stayed in today and went through some of my mother's papers. I read quite a few letters she wrote to her mother (as far back as the 1950s and as recently as the 1980s). Some of it was painful, esp the stuff in the 1980s. I did not read all of them, not by any means.

I have a large bag of stuff to take for shredding. I'll contact my facilities person first to make sure it's still okay for me to use the bins. I think I told you they brought me my own bin after mom died, which was very generous. We do have shredders we can use but so time-consuming so I will double-check in using the professional shredding bins.

I have a smaller batch of things to mail to my sister. She's fascinated by genealogy and there are some things she could mine for info. So I'll get those mailed this week. Still so much to go through but I did quite a bit today. Around 6 I started laundry and went to the grocery store, more for a walk than for any other reason.

So that's it for my news. I miss you all and am thinking of you all.

Oh! The humidity broke for Friday so that was good. My house is messy right now yet I know I can pull it together in half an hour. How do I know that? Because when my brother came by for cane on his birthday it took me half an hour. And I felt so proud of myself. Today's mess is going through papers. But I have one bin to go into the recycling bin out back. These are the medium sized bins, not those huge stackable ones.

Good morning.

I did pick beans and weed a bit before it got hot yesterday. Lots more to do in the garden. It's supposed to rain most of the day though. Which is ok, I also have a lot of pottery to do.

I worked on books a bit yesterday. I am mostly just moving them around. I'm trying to find enough space to empty a shelf and carry it out to the barn to use for inventory for pottery. I did put one in my son's box, so I'll count that out, and set some aside for other destinations - I'll count those out when they go. The shelf is down by 1/3, but all the easy spaces are taken.

I spent too much time online yesterday and i did not sleep well.

It was nice Tatoulia.

Now Dh is home and I am behind on dishes again. Plus all of his trip laundry.

I knew you you were just curious.

We had a good time at the fair yesterday. Dh stayed for three hours - which is longer than the total time he spent at the fair during the 14 years when my kids had projects and events there. I had mixed feelings about that. It was great that he and Bean were having so much fun together, but I found that I still have some bitterness that he couldn't be there for his own kids. It would have helped me as well. Maybe some day when Bean is big enough to participate he will look at me and say "I'm sorry I missed all of this with our kids." And then I will forgive him.

I am being tempted by prime day. So far I have ordered car seats for the new baby (at 35% off exactly what they wanted) one for my car and one for theirs. And more of the colored lids that are definitely helping me with the milk situation. (44% off with prime deal and buy two price.) I think I am now set for life for both of those things. I'm not sure if I am going to count either in my net tally.

Now I need to go pick beans instead of wandering around Amazon finding things that i just really like. If I think of anything else I am actually planning to buy, I will check on it then.

Thanks for the info on the milk! I asked purely out of curiosity and without an agenda. I did not know that there's a controversy about raw milk vs pasteurized but now that you've said it, I can see that pretty clearly.

Getting an A+ was pretty nice, SubC! You worked hard for it.

My cleaners come tmr but they were just here on Friday. Oh well. If they hadn't left part of their vacuum here I might've pushed back.

Good night, dear friends.

Good morning!

Tatoulia, good job. living things are important. I confess to sometimes failing my plants however. It's lack of competence, not lack of effort.

How long the milk lasts depends - on what part of the fridge it is in, how much the fridge gets opened, if forget and I partly or fully freeze it by accident before moving it to the fridge (it gets "quick cooled" in the freezer for an hour before moving.) even the cleanliness of the jars and bucket (washed, but not sterilized) in general, a few weeks. Sometimes over a month.

The milk is raw - I do not pasteurize it in any way. It does get cooked when being turned into cheese or frozen custard. My kids drank raw milk as kids, but Bean is only allowed to have the cooked products by decision of his parents.

I would prefer not to get into a debate about raw milk here, but I will say, if I lived in a city, I wouldn't drink raw milk. Nor would I drink it at the home of a neighbor if I didn't know them and their operation well. (Or sometimes if I did)

Goat milk begins to taste "goaty" before it goes by. (Like store goat milk, which I also will not drink). My milk is sweet and creamy. And yes, home made jam is good.

My Dd walked into my entry area last night, looked around (you can see all of the main living areas from the entryway) and said "A+". That made me feel really good. She is very particular. Usually she would say "you might want to [xyz] before dad gets home."

Bean and I are going to the fair today. Dh says he will join us for at least part of the time. He is going to drive separately, because even though he took the day off in case he wanted to stay at his parents house longer, he has a meeting this afternoon. That way we are not worried about getting back and can be flexible. The plan is fair, feed store, library, bath, play if there is time left, return to mommy. The only deadline is leaving for that last step around 4:30, and I can always take him all the way home instead. It is supposed to get really hot today, so we will take lots of water and buy a frozen lemonade from the jr. Fairboard for our treat, and pack lunch, but probably end up eating it at home or in the car on the way home.

Got to go milk before my sidekick gets up!

Yes it took me hours to get around to it but cat boxes changed and window boxes watered and trimmed.

Goodnight, dear friends.

Need to hold myself accountable.

I hung up the delicates. Need to water window boxes and clean litter boxes. Keeping my two sets of living things alive (plants and cats).

Need to come here to force myself to do it.

Tell me about your milk, SubC. How long does it last in the fridge? Is it considered raw milk? Any knowledge you can impart to this city mouse is greatly appreciated!

I dropped off the donations. The bag was pitifully small but I did it. I enjoyed shopping at goodwill and bought three shirts. The last few months I've been shopping for tops. Especially where I am just so heavy right now.

I went to the grocery store for fruit and something else small. I like having seltzer, juice, cat litter delivered but I'll do my own grocery shopping. I didn't see any plants I liked for my window boxes so I'll do my best to revive the ones I have.

I just did up the dishes and I'm doing a load of delicate laundry, including the three new shirts. I'll hang everything to dry.

We are in a heat emergency here for the next three days. Definitely not in my favor. But I'll force myself to office tmr.

I'm going to change out the litter boxes tonight so when I get home from work tmr, all my garbage and recycling will be good to go.

Homemade jam sounds so nice.

Tatoulia, I'm proud of you for not sleeping away your weekend!

Today I returned to making the rounds of all the farm things - eggs are all washed and put away, I picked blackberries for an hour or so, and I've been sorting out the milk and making cheese. I still have milk in my fridge that is older than my colored lid ordering plan, so I am still struggling to fin$ the oldest milk and use it first. I found a gallon that had soured and had to be fed to the chickens, which makes me sad, but I am a bit more caught up now.

It probably didn't help that I wasn't really in the mood for mak8ng cheese either (but I am in the mood for having cheese, so.)

Bean's parents are bringing him out around 6, which shortens my day and now I'm trying to get things done on a deadline again, but I enjoy spending the evening with him and being able to read his stories and tuck him in, and I also like not having to drive to get him in the morning. Life is a series of choices...

I'm going to freeze the blackberries and make jam with them another day.

You are doing GREAT SubC! Getting those things done annd sorted in amazing! And I applaud you for reducing the clutter in your brain and just being quiet. Great work! Thinking of your daughter and continuing to keep her in my prayers. I am also glad that you got some rest.

I had an okay day yesterday. I got a pedicure. After ignoring my feet for years, I am back on track for a once a month pedicure. I go to a spa instead of the corner mani/pedi place. I like the serene atmosphere and the quiet of the spa. Plus I get about a mile walk in each way. I was supposed to meet a friend at 2 for a late lunch after my pedicure I got to the place a little early, ordered a beverage and read my book, and at 2:20 I texted her and she thought we were meeting Sunday. She was horrified and I said we are friends, how about Tuesday night at 530. She had offered to take an immediate cab but I said no. So I had a tasty lunch and then came home. I ordered my seltzer and cat litter and that was delivered just before 9PM. I sat outside on the stoop from 7 to 9 just to read and people watch. So it was the first time in a long time that I didn't sleep my weekend away.

Of course, it's after 11 and I'm having my first cup of coffee. I have a rental car today so I have to make a bag for goodwill. I do have something to drop off at the animal shelter. And I want to get new plants for my window boxes, as mine are just baking in the sun this year. Wondering if I could replace them with petunias. Time will tell.what I have now aren't looking nice any longer.

Okay so that's the news from here. I am hoping to challenge myself into getting a bag of donations together. Anything, really, would make my life easier.

Good morning!

Still no designated spot for craft things, but I've sorted out about 80% of what was on the table and moved the teaching related piles to the left half. The right half has much smaller piles and there is a clear space in the center where I can work. And this is AFTER I moved all my piles from the couches and the "landing bench" in my front entry to the dining porch!

Also, I found a good spot for Bean's library books. I have a bag of recycling and a box of things to file.

I think Dh will be pleased. He is driving home today. He hadn't decided when he left if he would come home today or tomorrow. He said "I'll see how it goes." So that's how it went..

Today I will clean up all the "hot spots" I left because Dh wasn't around to care, and do a little garden work and/or cooking and/or pottery.

How is everyone else's weekend going?

Good afternoon!

By the updates, Dh "vacation" continues to go about as expected.

My vacation continues to involve sleeping long and late and ignoring all of the regular work (garden, laundry, dishes, barn, milk and egg processing, and even pottery making) except the daily food and water chores.

I'm trying to give my ears and brain a rest as well. I've been staying home, skipping radio and podcasts and YouTube and putting off phone calls. But ddil did FaceTime yesterday for an hour and leave the camera on Birdy while we chatted, and then dd1 called on her way home from work for about half an hour to process all the stress she is struggling with around her pregnancy, and then I FaceTimed with Dh for half an hour at bedtime, so I did talk to people.

Mostly I'm reading and puttering and rearranging things. I've sorted out about half the papers on the dining porch table. I even managed to recycle some of them - including cards! I'm only going to leave the materials related to planning for the school year on the table. I've cleared a spot out in the studio for personal/professional pottery related papers, and a place on a little table on the sleeping porch/bedroom (it's 4 season enclosed with a heater, but no closet) for personal papers, and the small table on the dining porch is for garden/farm stuff, and I need to find a spot for craft stuff (like knitting or sewing patterns and non pottery art project ideas and materials) separate from "personal".

Basically I'm just moving around the house picking away at one spot until I lose momentum and then moving to another. I've got things spread out everywhere, but I don't have to worry about it until tomorrow.

oh UGH SubC, that sounds exceedingly stressful. I would not want to go either! I am too low key for that kind of environment. I hope you enjoy your quiet time at home.

Tatoulia, paper sorting IS hard, every piece is small but packs sometimes unpleasant memories that dredge back up. I hope some pleasant memories as well. When I went through my file, there was an obituary paper of someone who hurt me deeply as a teenager - a mother figure of sorts. I looked at it and prayed a prayer of forgiveness over her, and let it go, and wished her great happiness in heaven. Then I threw it away. That was a good thing.

I had to lay in my room a lot yesterday. I went back to work too soon and overdid it and regressed on my recovery. So I am taking it easy. I have to work Sunday, but will try and make it is short and easy as possible.

Today I got up and:
-loaded and ran the dishwasher
- put the rest in one side of the sink and cleaned out the other side
- took out 3 bags of trash all consolidated into one bag
- made a couple of important phone calls
- fed dogs, sat outside with one for a bit watching squirrels
- made and ate oatmeal with fresh apricots, seeds, and walnuts

I plan to go through the fridge, freeze some things, toss some things, do laundry, do an annoying work task at home. Also going to lunch with a couple friends, I think, which will be so nice.

May we all declutter something this week! I will make a goal to get a few things on the Daily Tally today.

Good morning.

Dh has gone to visit his family. And I have stayed home. I will miss him, but I am grateful to not be there. I am feeling very peaceful and relaxed this morning after 8 hours of sleep (I got home late from class last night and did my chores. I set no alarm, and when my body woke me at first light, I went back to sleep until 7!) it is quiet. I have many things to do, but nothing on my schedule. If I were with Dh, people would be stressed out that I have been up for more than half an hour and I have not eaten breakfast. People would be yelling (Dh mother has only one volume and everyone rises to meet her) people would be wanting to know what I am going to do this morning and filling me in on the schedule for the day (which would basically be what time they plan to serve lunch and if anyone else is coming over) and announcing the tasks they want done. (Ie. I found this article you should read - followed by many inquiries as to wether or not you had read the article so that I can file the magazine - or throw it away. If the goal is throw it away and you offer to take the magazine with you and read it later, stress is created because the person wants to discuss - quiz you on - the article after you read it and repeat the things they want you to learn from it and be sure you agree with them about it.)

Actually, just thinking about this is raising my stress level, so enough!

I am going to stay home today, enjoy the quiet, spend time on the various areas of my life, eat whatever I want when I am hungry, and go to bed when I feel like it. - vacation.

Tatoulia, I hope you get some rest working at home today and that you find some easy papers to get started on.

Checking in. Has been a lot at work last couple of days. I asked for and was given permission to work from home tmr. I'm tired.

I started going through my mother's papers last night. I need to see what to keep and what to get rid of. Not an easy task.

Sending you all so much love. Hello Hope! Stop by anytime.

I love the thought of son's GF being a quiet helper. What a nice gift. SubC I'm sorry about the upheaval. How nice to have an understanding ear, couch, and dog to spend time with.

I liked what you said about helping people learn to manage their disappointment. And SubC, bless you, you found the recipe and made the cake!

We are all suffering from this heat so please let's remember to give ourselves grace.

Lila, that was a hard decision and a big job!

Good for you!

Papers are always hard because they pack so much into such a small physical space.

While I was heating milk and draining cheese today I listened to podcasts and puttered around a lot. I came across an idea (we all know how I love NEW ideas) about organizing your papers and stuff by role.

Like, my role as a teacher, as a hobby farmer, as a potter..

Anyway, I‘ve been sorting stuff into piles and I cleared off the small table on the dining porch and piled all the farm and garden stuff I have run across so far on it.

oh hi HOPE, thank you so much for the kind words. Virtual hugs back. Come and spill whatever you want to share when you are ready. We do care about each other here, our little group.

SubC, that is progress, shortening the journey of the produce! And with chickens, it's not wasted. So very good!

I enjoyed the dinner with everyone. It was LOUD and joyful and action-packed with the grands running around. Exdh seemed overwhelmed but he was pleasant to be around and brought such good food. I did not even have to retire to my room until everyone had gone. And Son2's dear girlfriend was so helpful without even being asked - helping clear the table, rinsing dishes, taking out the trash, even noticed all the towels on the deck and quietly went out and folded them all! She is a gem.

Today was quieter but I did a few things:
- hand washed a few dishes from yesterday
- wiped counters
- talked with Son2 who came back over and did a few things around the house for me
- played with Tot and Acorn

The big thing I did was, yesterday in my bedroom I found The File Box. For maybe 25+ years, it held all my needed papers, coupons, stuff to be filed in the metal filing cabinet, bills, all sorts of things. Totally full. Has no lid, so the dustiest thing you can imagine, with dust in every file. I thought, oh, I should sort this so I can use it. Then I thought, I don't need this anymore. Then I argued, yes I do. This would be better than that tub of papers next to you on the couch. Then I said, no, it is old, has no lid - it is time to let this go. I got a little emotional and wanted to hang onto it as it has been with me through marriages and kids and decades of life. Then I thought, look. If I decide I want to file things in this way again, I will get a box WITH A LID, that is clean and functional and will keep dust out of it. Then I thought, oh, I think the lid to this is in the garage! It has been there for 15+ years... then I put my foot down and told myself to stop it, and donate this AND its lid, and wait at least a month or two to see if I want to replace the tub with a new lidded file box. I probably will just stick with the tub.

So I sat down with a dust rag, pulled out each file and dusted it (about 8 or 10 files) and gently opened, dusted, and sorted each file page by page, with a trash bag next to me.

I ended up with an empty file box in the donate box, one file folder of papers to keep, one stack to shred - which I shredded. ALL DONE.

So I'll call that my win for today. A small thing, but my room is better without that dusty old file box next to my bed and all the crappy memories some of those pages held!

Hi HOPE, glad to see you!

I'm sorry you've been dealing with rough times. If we can offer you some support or encouragement, please jump back in.

I made some progress today to the point where I finally feel like my house is more under control. Not so much the yard, garden, barn, and potter6 studio, but the house at least.

And I froze the ice cream, made cheese, and baked a loaf of bread. At this point, for the month of July, I have kept up with all physical items including food that have come into my house. Although I have not harvested everything i could in the garden and some things have become chicken food, I am calling it success because they did so without making a stop in my house. Overproduction that goes from garden to chickens instead of garden to fridge to chickens/compost or from garden to compost directly is success.

Hi i haven't posted in a while. not the best of times. Anyway i wanted to encourage you all to keep trying.

Lila, wanted to send you a virtual hug. You inspire us and hope you give yourself grace and let your body recover.

i don't have much else to offer right now. just wanted to say I care.

Good morning.

Lila, I hope you were able to enjoy the dinner, and I am glad you found your cake recipe. Did you take a picture of it? Copy it and put it in the recipe file?

You did so much! That was a full day for anybody, let alone somebody recovering from surgery!

I am happy for you about the counter and table.

I am slowly making progress on my counter of doom again. Very slowly, and also it is not net progress yet, because I have backslid a lot again.

I am really trying right now to keep up with each day's tasks, but it is just so much, and I don't see things. Like, spending the day with Bean yesterday - I thought I had cleaned up all the toys and dishes and this morning I realized that we put the top of his carrot in water to take out to the rabbit later, but then we forgot and so I have a carrot top in a cup of water. It's a small thing, but that is how my life gets out of control. A few small things a day, twenty or so small things a week, and after a couple of months I have hundreds of little messes and unfinished tasks everywhere.

I am very lucky to have heartdaughter. I was really worn down yesterday from the emotional overwhelm, but I did manage to also have a conversation with Dh yesterday evening about some of what caused it, and that has helped me feel better too, and I got a pretty good night's sleep last night, so here I go again.

I think today is a kitchen day mostly.

SubC, hugs on your hard day. I am glad you had heartdaughter to cry with. How blessed. I hope things are feeling a little better now.

I saw your message too late - after I baked the cake. But your message is a good one and I will use it next time. I made the cake, the frosting, frosted it, cleaned a bunch of junk out of the fridge to fit the cake in, washed the kitchen table and consolidated dil's stuff into a bag and box to be taken downstairs. I also cleaned off the bar/counter, which was gross and dusty, but not terrible since I sorted it not long ago. It is getting easier to keep that counter and kitchen table under control enough that it might look bad, but it is much faster to clear off than it used to be.

Now I am exhausted, the dryer broke and a bunch of towels are drying outside (stuff as boards) and it is over 100 degrees. I need to go out and fold them and bring them in. I also need to fgure out the dryer or get someone to come. And we are having like 15 people over for dinner tonight. Ex dh is bringing takeout for us all, which is very kind of him, (we rarely see him but he is coming to see Teen), so dinner will be delicious, paper plates, not a ton of cleanup. But a lot of family, which will be nice, but as an introvert, I'll need to go in my room after. The surgery is a good reason for doing this - recovery, for real.

I sorted a tiny bit in the lay room this morning. I will post my wins in the daily tally.

Lila,

Sometimes the birthday cake comes from the store.

If it is really important you can tell the person how sorry you are that you are not up to making the special cake right now and promise that person the special cake on another day when you are better.

This is an opportunity for someone to practice compassion and managing disappointment.

I did not have a good day. I do not want to get into it and I am ok, but shortly before lunch time I called heartdaughter and when she answered I said "hi. I am ok, but can I come cry in your living room?" So I did that. And her big sweet dog curled up next to me, and eventually she made me laugh and I got on with my day.

On topic I removed the trash and recycling from the house today.

Bean is going to spend the night. 🙂

hi again SubC and Tatoulia. I hope we can all perk up. That is so sweet about you getting the duck some ducklings. You have a compassionate heart.

I am so exhausted, and Teen came yelling at me today, and we have a birthday this week, and I have lost the cake recipe. It is a recipe I made up myself almost 20 years ago. You would think I would make copies, or scan it into the computer, take a photo of it or put in on an index card in the recipe box by now. But no. I have looked for it, it has to be made today or at the lastest tomorrow, and I am frustrated. I will go look for it again. I am hoping it is in the old mail file box. If not, I will be tearing my cabinets and cupboards apart to try and find it. I am already to tired to make it but will ask for help... if I can find it.

I need to start clearing out the storage little bedroom, which no longer even has a walking path. It has a bed in one corner, piled with spare towels, blankets, pillows for company and random things I threw there. The floor, shelves and closet in there is packed full. But I feel I am stuck in my bedroom progress because I have nowhere to move any totes to. That little room was my staging area, remember? Now it is piles. I seriously cannot get anywhere unless I actually get rid of some things... a significant number of things. Ok, off to find that recipe.

Rest Lila. I'm sorry you are sad.

I also think about people stumbling on me here. So many times I want to tell you great stories about my students (whiteout sharing their names of course) and then I think about that and I'm like, nope. 🙁

You are getting plenty done, even for somebody who has not had surgery.

Tatoulia, I'm glad your dinner with your brother went well. Enjoy the cake tomorrow!

I am gain8ngbgroundbonnlaundry, losing ground on milk, and pretty much managing everything else. Dh has been cooking dinners again.

I even got some significant time in on my pottery today. I have a lot of pots to trim in the morning and then take down with me to finish and leave on the firing counter at the class studio. I want to go early for the social brunch, but we'll see .I may not have left myself enough time.

I don't know if I told you that the last duck came back to the barn about a week ago. She has been lonely and depressed and I couldn't stand it anymore, so today I bought her three ducklings. They aren't even a breed I wanted, they were just the minimum number of the ducklings available. They have definitely bonded to her, but I think she is not so sure. Hopefully they will be a comfort.

Lila, good to hear from you and we understand completely! I would be mortified, too, if someone found me here. It's our private space and our private community.

Just don't overdo. Please just take care of yourself. I understand being sad as I have been very sad for about a month. I am sure that having significant surgery is making your sadness even worse. Here for you.

I've been reading most of the day. I took subway downtown to get brother a birthday cake. Too humid to walk. Came home, showered, and read. Now I'm doing a little laundry.

I haven't really done anything else. I'll put dishes in the dishwasher and will run it in a little while.

oh, thank you for your sweet concerns, SubC and Tatoulia. Life altering, yes, but not life threatening. It will be a few months of recovery, but mostly back to semi-normal hopefully in a few weeks. Worst pain of my life, not trying to be cryptic, just have always wondered, what if someone from my actual life wandered across this site and figured out these posts are from me and I would be so sad, thinking my co workers or people who know me know the state of my home. But anyway, suffering, humbling, and hard time bouncing back. I just want to lay here and sleep. I am finding it harder than ever to get up and do anything, even given that I am recovering from surgery. My motivation has dropped to zero.

However, the thought of someone else coming in here to help me or bring me food or heaven forbid, get me things or clean up, is just enough to make me do a little bit.

Yesterday I gathered all the dog snacks and chews in my bedroom into one box.

I also gathered all my snacks in my bedroom, put into baggies and put on one desk shelf. The rest went into a kitchen cabinet. I don't need THAT MANY snacks in here.

I was able to shower yesterday for the first time all week. Today I will try and wash a load of laundry with some help.

I also sat here and went through one box of books I inherited from a dear friend, and found 4 or 5 to donate.

I will do 5 minutes of sorting or wiping down in my bedroom and my bathroom, as I am able.

Truth be told, I am sad, and want to do nothing.

I am also concerned about you, Lila. Since I haven't kept up with the posts, I had figured I missed something. Sending you my support.

SubC! You've done a lot! I bet the beets are so tasty!

Dinner went ok with my brother. I've invited him here Sunday for birthday cake and ice cream for his birthday.

I canceled the car because we are supposed to have thunderstorms and I don't want to deal with that. Instead, I had my grocery store deliver the seltzer and juice and it was very easy and very economical. Will definitely be doing that instead of hauling it up my stairs in the future. I had been under the impression there was an $80 minimum but it's only 30, so I stocked up on the juices and seltzers. Much easier on me. I did this yesterday while working from home.

Will consider taking a bus to goodwill, maybe tomorrow before brother comes over. Will pick up his cake later today, weather permitting.

Wishing you all a wonderful Saturday!

Good morning!

Happy to see people back. I hope Alanna didn't get buried under a pile of grading!

Lila, I understand not wanting to share too much online, but I am very concerned about you surgery. Particularly because of this: " All of it seems so unnecessary now, after this surgery."
That seems like the sort of thing one says after a life altering or near death event. I hope you are ok.

Tatoulia, good luck on your donation bag. I hope things go wellwith your brother. You have had a lot in your year. Be gentle with yourself.

I feel like I spent all day yesterday cooking. I picked some beets, then made a favorite but time intensive curry with the greens (there are leftovers for more today) and roasted and peeled the beetroots. Dh used some in a salad he made for us last night. I also braided and hung the garlic I harvested last week - which is not actually cooking, but somehow felt like it. I didn't get much garden work done because the weather was hot and humid.

Other than the cooking, i puttered around and picked up. That actually involved more effort than it sounds like. My goal was to finish/clean up everything from yesterday and the third before I went to bed yesterday.

I almost made it. I still have compost to take out, a dishwasher to unload (it was running when I went to bed), two loads of laundry to put away, and a gallon and a half of milk to process into something to keep up with that. The maintenance bill on my life is high.

We didn't go to fireworks last night. My neighbors all had their own. We could hear them all around the house, but only see a little bit of the ones across the road. We have too many tall trees.

I decided to spend some money to make my life a little easier yesterday and ordered some rainbow mason jar lids. I'm not counting them as an in, because when the plastic containers break or I get rid of the old metal lids I was using, I just drop them in the recycling without counting them out. Anyway, I had ordered a pack of grey ones that just go in the dishwasher and rack dry and are easier to use than hand washing and drying metal rings so they don't rust (more) and I realized that it is a lot easier to see which milk is older with two lid colors (the plastic lids I already had were white) rather than reading all the dates I taped to all the lids. I have tried loading them into the fridge from top to bottom and left to right, but I am just not organized enough to keep that up. I am very visual, so hopefully white, grey, roygbiv, will work for me.

Ok, Dh just left to work out and I need to do yoga and get my day started. Making good choices.

Happy 4th Of July!

Sorry I've been absent here. I've been absent in my life, too. Just not pulling it together. Having a lot of feelings about things. We are coming up on one year since BF moved overseas. So that's been a lot for me. I cannot remember what we did last year for the 4th and neither can he. I am doing nothing tonight although I would love to walk down to the esplanade to see the fireworks.

I met a friend this AM and we walked through the arboretum and then grabbed a bite to eat. We ended up in this little hole in the wall that was peaceful and relaxing. It was so nice to be there.

The. I came home, showered, and took a loooong nap.

Tomorrow night I'm having dinner with my brother. A bit nervous but it'll be fine. I haven't seen him since before mom died. He's got a lot of problems and I think he's going to expect a lot out of me. Time will tell.

Saturday I've reserved a car and so I need to make a bag for goodwill. I don't know what else to get rid of, to be honest, but I,l figure it out. I need to keep moving in the right direction. I'll also stop to get seltzer and other heavy stuff I need.

We have work tomorrow, oddly enough. Usually they give us the day off. A little weird but that's okay.

Will put on some music now and start trying to figure out what I can donate. No idea since I have so much stuff gone.

Oh when Emiko and I went to VT we were able to bring all the photos and other ephemera she was storing for my sister. So that was good to get that up to my sister's. I also brought her my mother's madeleine pans and a bunch of cookie cutters, including some that my grandfather made. She was so pleased. I kept one madeleine pan for myself and will hang in my kitchen.

So wish me well as I figure out stuff

Did I tell you I was able to clear out one of the safety deposit boxes? I still have to figure out the other one. There was a lot of stuff I had forgotten. A bunch I can sell, so that will be good. Still seem to be missing an engagement ring or a wedding ring (not mine) but I'll see where else to look. Everything is now in a friend's save while I figure out my next move with the jewelry.