Hi Tatoulia

I personally believe that for you massages fall under necessary very beneficial self care.
You worry about so many things.
You get sick from worry.
You don't do self care because you are sick and distracted from worry.

Keep looking in the streets and gutters as you walk around getting exercise & fresh air for that 20.00 bill tip. 😉

Hi Steve
You can do both.
First do the responsible thing that you CAN do.
Once you do that your hands are clean should he physically harm anybody.
Then separate yourself from the whole mess.
Easier said than done, but you can find your way through meditation/prayer.

As a surgical assistant I can tell you that saving lives and alleviating pain and suffering is extremely satisfying.
Just sitting with someone, holding their hand means so much.

So this is where we can talk about other things besides hoarding, right? Why not, since I do not hoard and am a survivor.

Next week I begin volunteer work in the Emergency section of a hospital. It will only be four hours a week, but it will get my mind at least partially off of things for that time.

I don't know if I ever explained this, but I am in my second year of a Catholic novitiate, that is training to be a religious brother. I'm trying hard at this, but the horror of what is going on with my brother on the outside gets to me. If it were the hoarding alone it wouldn't be so bad because I actually never see it. I live an hour away and don't visit. But with threats to murder, the revelation of cross dressing (see my other posts on another thread), etc., it's hard to let go of the worry. Believe it or not, I've even had to worry about him being killed by someone else, because the riff raff he has allowed to stay there are just as crazy. I've actually had to call the police out of fear that someone else had done something to him.

I've got to get my bearings. Unfortunately where I live doesn't help. You'd think living in a monastery would, but in fact I get little emotional support here. I'm learning not to speak about it with people here because they just don't understand. They say I'm too involved with my brother's life when actually I'm not involved at all. It's just all up in my head all the time due to my previously mentioned OCD. But where does the OCD end and real life begin? We are talking real, concrete threats he has made to people's lives here. They tell me to let go, but at what cost? Risking other people's lives? I have the power under state law to get his guns away from him. I am the only one besides the police who has this power. I've been told by my spiritual director to get the guns removed. I've been told by my superior to get a lawyer to help deal with financial issues.

How can I let things go and do things like this at the same time? Why do otherwise sensible people tell me to let it go when they know the potential for MURDER is involved??? What are they thinking?? Yes, if a person is living separately and is a drug addict I can see the argument for detachment. But detachment isn't good if you have to RISK OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES for it!! If you know a murder could be committed and you have a means of lessening or even stopping the chance, then you do it! There is no discussion, no debate. You just do it! Those were the values I was taught. I didn't know I was supposed to be taught otherwise! I didn't know it was a good idea to detach yourself so much that you say to potential murder victims "Sorry, you're on your own, suckers!"

Sorry, I meant to talk about other things. I can't have a brother become a murderer. I had a friend decades ago become a murderer once. I can't have a family member become the same. I've got to go to him and try a compromise where he at least surrenders the ammunition. If that doesn't work out, I have to pull out a restraining order on firearms form. It will prohibit him from having guns for a year. If he dares me to do it, we go to court, where I destroy his defense by presenting everything I have, shocking him that I know so much and virtually guaranteeing the removal of the weapons.

And next week I begin helping to save lives at Emergency. I imagine that saving of lives will be a lot more fulfilling than this one.

I had suspected that the presents were some sort of ?making amends' situation. In his mind.

I moved my massage to two weeks from Saturday. I'll still need the tip money yet will feel more comfortable spending it in a measured way, once I have two more weeks of only essentials spending. I have quite a bit in massage gift cards and I will make a plan for one service a month. I also enjoy the foot reflexology very much. So once a month to help me focus and relax will be well worth the tip! I just don't want to be making exceptions so early on.
I asked the cleaners to come next week instead of this week.

I'll discuss my debt reduction in the coming days.

Good Morning Everyone
"Tea Clink!"

Hi Tatoulia
So good that you are plotting and scheming on ways to eradicate the debt.
If you find a 20 dollar bill blowing down the street you could use that for the massage tip.

I really wish he would not bring me "gifts".
It's never anything I would want or need and he gets angry when I don't want it.
Plus he only ever brings me things when he has done something he shouldn't have done or not done something he should have done.
Then the things just get added to the hoard making it even more huge.

He has been out shopping almost every day since he retired.
He has not taken care of anything around here.

Nothing I need from the store so I will not be going into town today. 😀
Kitchen is very clean, laundry is all caught up.
Will do cat related tasks & sweep.
Other than that I need to find something pleasant for me to do today.
Might even get in a little yardwork if the weather is nice.

Ps thank you for your help and support in my worries. Greatly appreciated. I have a massage scheduled for this weekend (gift card) but I may need to put off for a week due to other ideas of how I might like to spend my Saturday. Also, I don't want to spend the tip money right now.

I too don't want too much salt in my food, Tillie. I accept that pizza is salty so I have it infrequently. I would love a piece of your bread right now with a glass of lemonade!

I need to finish getting ready for work now. Another long day in front of me but I can do it.

Very rainy here today and very mild temperatures. Wacky weather.

Glad we are not spending this month and next, Tillie. I do not want a stadium cushion, no matter what it says.

I've been working on my debt reduction plan. I'm making some progress on how to get this knocked down and how to get away from the oppressive interest. I'm working on the various angles and feel more positive, now that I'm dealing with the negative.

Coffee clinks.

Good Evening

Hi Tatoulia
Wish I could tell you to not worry so intensely
and that you'd comply.
When my big orange kitty boy is worrying himself sick I have been using that Feliway and it helps him calm down.
I spray some on a blue washcloth and pet him with it.
But I suppose that wouldn't work on you. ;D
WTG! deleting the store emails!!!

Hi Subclinical
YEA!!! that bag is GONE!
So nice that you are again finding open space. 🙂

Had the couch quilt washed and hung out today.
Made another pitcher of lemonade.
Then I made two loaves of banana, cranberry, walnut bread.
Got the kitchen all cleaned up, again.
Steven went out shopping again today.
He brought me an overly salty pepperoni pizza with bacon.
I do NOT like bacon and have issues with excessive salt.
He bought himself a pizza so now he has/had two.
He also brought me a cushion, the kind you sit on in the bleachers at a sports game.
He thought it had written on it my school's name and mascot.
It doesn't.
Even if it did I still would not want it, have no use for it.

Oh I'm so happy about the insulation, SubC. Happy for you and the new owner! Great work.

I napped then went to the lecture. Fantastic evening.

Feeling much better. Thank you for the well wishes.

Tatoulia, I hope you're feeling better.

The lady came and got the insulation. So that was good.

Oh Tillie how sad about the cat dishes. That is so hard.

I was sick with worry Monday and Tuesday to the point where I was physically ill. Isn't that something? I slept well last night so that was good.

Motown I'm excited about the financial challenge! Glad you will be joining us! So far so good for me. I delete all the emails from stores before reading! Please take good care of yourself. I am very concerned about your health.

Did laundry today. Good feeling. All folded and put away. I have something to do tonight and I'm just so tired. I generally have dinner with girlfriends before the event but I'm skipping the dinner due to finances and other reasons. I told them all that yesterday.

I'll just do the lecture portion.

Having trouble staying awake.

Keep up the good work! I like your husband's philosophy. A bag out is a bag out.

Thank you Subclinical (((hug)))

WAY TO GO!
An empty corner!
So true, there will always be more plastic buckets.

Tillie, you were brave to move the dishes. Take your time. It's hard.

The insulation is in my car. That's my big job for the day. I also put the battered, dirty plastic paint buckets that were in that corner in the garbage can - there will always be another empty plastic bucket.

So, now the corner is empty.

OK...
Yesterday I went into the cabinet where I keep the kitty dishes.
I removed some so now there is only service for three in there.
I put Poohkie's and Marty's dishes on the top of the pantry shelf.
Out of sight.
Still not ready to eliminate them but now when I go get out kitty dishes I am not faced with the other lonely unused ones.

Hi Subclinical

YEA!!! the evaluations are turned in!

WTG! for eating down all the before Christmas food items in the house.
I count that as a BIG plus.
Great the insulation scraps will be recycled.
Your DH is right, bags going in one way or another is plenty.

The laundry dried very nicely today.
I keep a quilt on the couch since all the cats sit on the couch.
I will get that washed and on the line tomorrow.
I have another "couch quilt" so will just swap them out.

Oh Motown, I hope it works!

I try to come here and confess all the non consumables I buy. Tomorrow i have to do a giant grocery shop. We have pretty much eaten up everything from before Christmas. But I don't count that.

Also tomorrow, I am taking the contractor bags of leftover short pieces of insulation to school in my suv, and a lady is coming down after work to get them! So I don't have to throw them away!

Dh says, as long as he bags go one way or another, that is plenty for this week.

I turned in the evaluation I knew I would get done, plus the one my boss said I did gave to do. So, six more plus the ones I am holding.

Stay warm Tatoulia!

Hi Motown
My fingers are crossed for success for you too!

Great that you haven't been thrift shopping since "last year".
So happy you will be joining us in the no spending challenge.

Hi Tatoulia
Happy you have a good plan in case of power outages.
Miss Kitty will just have to grin and bear being relocated along with you.

Did a bunch of laundry and all the linens are drying out on the line.
Cold day but sunny with a little breeze.

I haven't checked in in several days and have not got time today to read all the posts and catch up. What I did see was the Tillie challenge for a no-spend January (buying only absolute necessities). I'm in! I have not been to Goodwill since LAST YEAR! (granted it was December 30th but whatever! :)) So I have skipped a few would-be purchases and I have to try to make it a challenge for the whole year as my medical bills are skyrocketing and my debt isn't going to get paid down like I had hoped because instead of paying on the debt I will be paying on the medical bills. Ugh. Also, had the second procedure to break up the kidney stone on Friday and it may or may not have worked. If it didn't (I won't know until follow-up x-rays on Feb 1) then the next procedure will be a lot more invasive, painful and expensive. I have EVERYTHING crossed that this one worked but the doctor is apprehensive.

Anyway, just wanted to drive by and say that I, too, accept the challenge. Yay for us saving money and not adding to the clutter! Just watch us go in 2019!
Peace, love and happy budgeting!

Motown

WTG SubC!!! Great work! And solid reasons for having a few not finished. They are done, just not finished! Great work!!!

Oh and a very frosty shout-out to everyone's cats, bunnies and other furry friends!

I have nothing to show for the day. Just too cold. My house is impossibly drafty. If we lose electricity, the kitty and I can stay at the BF's house, which is warm and toasty and not drafty at all. I used to bring her with me to his house, back when I first got her. She loves being there but the transitions are hard. She doesn't travel well at all. ALOT LIKE ME!

Well goodnight dear hearts, I don't think we will lose electricity. It has happened only once the whole time I've lived here. We had manhole explosions. Before I had kitty. I had met a guy at a party who had just moved in with his SO, so I called him to see if I could stay at his empty apartment. And so I did. BF lives far enough away that it would have to be a massive outage to affect us both.

Take care and I'll see you tmr.

Hello Everybody

WAY TO GO! Subclinical!!!
Getting all the evaluations finished except the ones with impending possible updates.

LOL about your kitty agreeing with Scooter. ;D

WTG! your Dh doing the window trim.
WTG! you for putting away the decorations!

So, how is the new desk working out for you?

Hi Tatoulia
The kitty medicine is a necessity so doesn't count.
WTG! for a GREAT start to the no spending challenge!

Should the power go out there are you still able to stay warm?
Does the new fireplace heater still work without power?

WAY TO GO! Dancing & dishes & clean kitchen counters!

Your lunch plan sounds solid.
A nutritious moderately salted meal at a reasonable price maybe three times a week.

I have never been able to understand the reasoning of people who buy a daily cup of very expensive coffee or tea or hot chocolate.

Did a little more of this & that.
Then I gave myself a nice pedicure.
Steven did not go shopping today since the thrift shops are closed for MLK day.

Good job on the not spending Tatoulia!
The cleaning fairies are essential because they provide a foundation for greater progress by reducing your stress. It's like making time for sleep when you have too much to do.

My kitty agrees that waiting for the mouse is just THE WORST. So exhausting!

I set an alarm to look at the moon, but the clouds had rolled in, so I went back to bed.

I put all the Christmas decorations away.

My grading is entirely caught up!

My evaluations are done* sort of.
I have one pottery student who has apparently glazed nothing this semester, but he has also been absent the last two weeks, so I am going to check the return cart tomorrow before I write that. His should be done by the time I leave school tomorrow - looking will take longer than writing.

I have 3 students in a very subjective class whom I want to meet with one more time before I do their evaluations - those will be the hardest and will get done Wednesday night or Thursday morning.

I have two students who owe me a paper by Friday lunch and it will determine their grade.

I have one student who left in October but didn't withdraw until last week, so I am waiting to hear from my boss about wether or not I have to do an evaluation for her.

I have one student who has definitely been doing her work, but has apparently turned none of it in (I really have to keep up with grading) who I will see at the end of the day Friday.

And I have nine evaluations that are completely done, but I have one more class with those kids on Friday and I want to hold them in case I decide to add something.

Everything else is turned in.

Meanwhile, dh put the window trim up on one entire end of the addition because he was off today. It looks nice.

And I folded up my desk and put it away in a closet.

Tillie I didn't spend any money this weekend other than BF's cat's medicine. I hope he forgets that I paid for it because he pays for everything.

It's getting warmer in here and I did get up to do the dishes, dance a bit, clean the kitchen counters.

I've given some thought to my spending and I will continue to buy my lunch in the days I go to work I can buy a nutritious and delicious salad with chicken on it for very little and it holds me all day. I gave this some thought. I only go in to the office three days a week. And the place that makes my salad is a family-owned deli and they don't oversalt their food. I also sometimes enjoy a can of soup and I have at least one at work. So I'm comfortable with that. I never buy coffee or anything like that.

My kitchen smells fresh. I did not clean the bedroom carpet. Procrastination.

Thanks for agreeing the cleaning fairies are a must. They are so great. Knowing that every two weeks my tub is scrubbed is worth its weight in gold.
That's so great you won $$ on the Red Sox! I secretly root for the cubs at all times.

Hello Everybody!

Hi Subclinical
So happy to know the barn babies did fine last night.
WAY TO GO!!! working on the evaluations!
YEA! for XMas lights and laundry & best of all the paper decluttering!

Hi CriticalMass
Nope, when he hands me a broken or otherwise useless item I hand it back to him telling him why it is useless.
He puts it back into the hoard saying it was "good enough" when he got it.
See, it's all my fault that the hoard is unorganized and stuff gets ruined because I refuse to allow him to reclutter up the inside of this tiny house with stuff.

YEA!!! you got to see the moon!
Your paper decluttering plan sounds well thought out and a great way for you to greatly reduce the amount of papers in your life.
I never watch or follow sports but several years ago I made a bet on the Red Socks and won big time since nobody thought they would ever win. LOL
I also had the TV on one year waiting for the Giants & As World Series to start when I had a 3.5 earthquake at the very same time the ball park in the bay area had a very major earthquake.

Hi Tatoulia
If there was no cloud coverage of fog the blood moon eclipse was visible there.
It was visible for all North and South America.
Hope you and Miss Kitty are staying snuggly warm by the fire today.

You absolutely must keep the cleaning fairies!
They are a necessity.

Did some of this & that today.
Just 1:00pm here & I just had lunch.
Planning to continue doing some of this & that the rest of the afternoon.
Just puttering about.
It's cold outside and the wind is blowing rather hard.
Right now I am sitting on the couch with a sleeping kitty curled up next to me and another one sleeping in the rocking chair.
Scooter is in Steven's room sleeping because it's hard work waiting for the mouse to show up.

Ok I'm just getting up. My house is terribly drafty and it's 4F. it's sunny, though. I'm have the fireplace on and a tiny cat is curled up next to me on the couch.

Yes BF roots for the patriots. I'm largely non-competitive but I do enjoy a baseball game or a hockey game. I don't watch sports on TV. I enjoy the experience and the culture of the games. Like which songs the organist is playing or what stuff you yell when you see a particular player. But I have no interest in who wins or loses. BF slept all night and he's feeling better today.

Tillie I missed the blood moon last night. I'm not sure if it was visible from here.

SubC you are doing great! You can do this! Is the new desk helpful to you? WTG taking care of your furry friends. I'm sorry your sleep is interrupted. I have terrible insomnia and some days I am a wreck.

Thank you for your thoughtfulness on my debt, CM. I appreciate the reinforcement. Those are things that I "technically" know but since I haven't been applying those lessons, I need your words now more than ever. One thing I cannot cut back on is my cleaners. I need them and enjoy them. But I can stop using my cards and I can stop shopping. I do not need any new clothes. I have more things that will fit me as time goes on plus I'm fine. This is about being thoughtful and resourceful and digging out of debt. So thank you all for your help and encouragement! All advice welcome!!!

Tillie whether I move from the couch remains to be seen.

I love you all.

SubC, WTG on one class evaluations done! May the other two go really fast and a whole lot easier. Don'tcha just love it when kitty brings in a "live toy"!:P We haven't had that happen here - I guess before I lived here the next door lady with Alzheimers was in denial about the severity of her mouse problem and my roommate-to-be got some of the overflow. She had two previous cats but still had to do traps to get rid of the meesers. Wow, your weather sounds cold - hope you stay well and the animals do okay too.

Tatoulia - you can get the debt payment done, I have complete confidence in you. You probably know the strategies - first don't incur any new unsecured debt, then pay the high interest ones first and the smaller balances and use the money from that to add to payments on the rest and they will get paid off even faster. I could kick myself for not learning to budget and live within my means when I was young. But what's done is done. I've learned a lot of frugality strategies by now. But I need to bring in more income.

I got more of my paycheck stubs worked on while watching Star Trek Deep Space Nine last night and am going to type more of them today. Two of the file boxes of paper in my storage unit awaiting their ultimate fate are spiral notebook journals. I did a TON of journaling. But a lot of it was depressing, repetitive worrying, overthinking, etc. I'm going to flip through those and type a document with highlights just of events and positive things, only noting the sad if I discern a spiritual necessity to do so for some reason. Then I'm going to SHRED those journals!

The remaining paper to "go through" is life business - of which I've already probably shredded/recycled several times what still exists, so hopefully those will go quickly. And I may have a small amount here at the house that needs to be acted upon in some way then discarded. I so look forward to a very minimal amount of paper in my life that can be kept up with - to keep documents like bills only for a year or whatever in case there's a question, then have ritual shredfests.

Tillie - when Steven gives you a broken whatever, do you take it and pretend it will work so you can throw it away before you go purchase a good one? 😉

Last night we went outside to see the Super Wolf Blood Moon eclipse. The sky was clear and we had an excellent view. It was awesome. Sorry about the clouds in your neck of the woods, Tillie - wish I'd had a good enough camera/telescope to take some pictures to post. I was so enthralled by the three-dimensionality of the moon.

My Kansas friends rooted for the Kansas City Chiefs in the football game but I guess the Patriots beat them by a few points and will go to the Super Bowl. I'm more of a baseball gal and a nerd, and my roommate is not into sports at all, which is why we watched Star Trek! But I felt bad for my football friends. Tatoulia, I take it you and boyfriend probably root for the Patriots? If so, I hope they win.

Good morning Tillie!
Enjoy your day off.

My day is bright and sunny with snow everywhere. It has warmed all the way up to 8! The barn dwellers handled the night just fine. Most of them needed fresh water this morning of course, but I was very happy to see that bunny's heat lamp and shelter worked so well that her water bottle didn't freeze!

I didn't get anything done last night beyond boxing up the Christmas lights, but I did switch over the laundry this morning and I have completed the grading and evaluations for another class - before lunch! 27 to go. I am also "decluttering" a little as graded papers move from waiting piles into folders ready to return this week and evaluation notes get used and recycled.

Good Morning Everybody

Another dark dreary cold drizzly day.
No pressing things needing done.
Can't play outside or do laundry.
Guess I get the day off. 🙂

Youtube has Jasmine Harmon's Extreme hoarders.
She is very compassionate, grew up with a hoarding Mum.

Hi Subclinical
We posted at the same time just now.
WTG! being caught up on some grading and doing more evaluations.

Nine below is scary about the barn babies.
Heat lamps, nice bedding and snuggling up together should be alright. (((HUGS babies)))

YEA! for undoing the tree and starting the wash.

WAY TO GO!!! Kitty for being a big brave protector.

Stay safe and warm and hope your sleep isn't interrupted again tonight.

So, today's update.

I did not sleep well because I had caffeine too close to bedtime. It never used to bother me, but now it does. Then around midnight the cat apperently caught a mouse, brought it upstairs to show off, put it down, and had to catch it again. I was up until 2.

The load of wash I started this morning is in the dryer.

I only did 8 evaluations, but I am completely caught up on grading for the class I did them for (two other classes still behind on grading)

The Christmas tree is down -ornaments boxed up but not taken to basement, lights off but not boxed up, tree cut into pieces and turned into a nice bed of yummy pine boughs for the goats, tree skirt (sheet actually) in the wash.

It snowed all night so we are snowed in again, and the temperature has dropped. It's supposed to keep dropping to negative nine. We have a nice cozy wood fire (and plenty of wood on the porch thanks to dh) but I worry about my barn babies. They have their pine bed and lots of extra straw and food, and I set up their heat lamps. I've been taking them fresh water all day.

Hopefully before I go to bed i'll get the wash switched over and the Christmas things put away. Maybe a touch more work on grading or evaluations. Still having 39 evaluations to go is worrying me.

I forget that people actually park cars inside garages.
YEA! the project you did for your Mom went well and you got to visit too.

Guess you could bring your BF some nice hot soup instead of a cake.
Hope he feels better soon.

I love the whole feel/idea/emotion that the word
SIMPLIFY
instills in me. 🙂

Well Darn!!!

>:(

Tonight is the last lunar eclipse until 2021
and I will miss it due to storm clouds.

Totally missed Haley's comet due to fog when I was living on the island by San Francisco. >:(