| Tillie | Posted: 14 June 2018 - 04:29 PM |
Welcome to the NEW and hopefully improved message board page. 🙂 | |
Replies (1561)
| Motown | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 03:28 PM |
Thanks Tillie for the advice about lists. Yes, I'm guilty of making extensive lists but never doing the work. Never thought of it like that as having mentally done the work when I made the list. Well, the recliner are still on site, just the decisions have been made. Now to get them implemented! Onward and upwards! Thanks again for the encouragement. I have spent the entire day just thinking about getting rid of stuff and reclaiming space. Trying to get psyched I guess. Hubby actually agreed to stay in my corner and help with the project. He said we will work on one project in one room at a time and may we can see progress that will spur more progress. I sure hope so. I challenged him that if he would get rid of the too big clothes in his closet that I would get rid of an equal number of clothing items from mine. Does that sound like it could work? | |
| Tillie | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 03:16 PM |
YEA!!! Tatoulia ! 😀 Fantastic! So very happy you did not take the store credit! The pawn shop where I sell things often offers me more money but only if I take store credit for a lot of the total sum. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 03:09 PM |
Hello Arianne 🙂 Hi Tatoulia 🙂 Hello CriticalMass 🙂 How wonderful to have a porch sunroom! I don't think eating more salads and running more works for anybody. Way to go getting maintenance done on your vehicle! Good luck digging out your goat paths and getting prepared for the sunroom addition! (((hug))) | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 03:01 PM |
Remember that leather good (might have been a man's bag?) that I bought for an exorbitant sum and never used? It just sold and my commission is $186. I'm pretty excited. I am so glad that it sold. The check will be mailed mid-December. I didn't want to give the company my bank account info and I most certainly do not want a store credit. So excited! So even though my jewelry and hourhold stuff didn't sell at the consignment shop, I'm glad that this designer website was able to unload the leather man-albatross. And $186 is nothing to sneeze at! Someone paid nearly 400 for the bag! | |
| Tillie | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 02:52 PM |
Hello Motown 🙂 Question about extensive lists vs no lists... YEA! for the recliner and freezer going away! WAY TO GO! for what you have accomplished clearing up the porch. I know the problems you face. | |
| Motown | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 02:14 PM |
Y'all are gonna get so tired of me asking questions but I'm fixing to ask another one. Do you find that making lists down to the minute things to do and then checking them off helps or does just going into a room and doing stuff help more? | |
| Motown | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 02:02 PM |
Also, thank you for the love, you are right, I haven't heard it today, or in a very long time for that matter. I do think I have come to the right place for inspiration, encouragement and motivation. I feel like I will be getting a lot of it soon and then hopefully I can be in a position to speak from experience and give back to others struggling. | |
| Motown | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 01:59 PM |
Hubby HAS his own house but mostly lives with me and the daughter and grandkids. He takes preschoolers to school and picks them up each day. He visits his house to pick up mail and mow grass etc. but doesn't stay there. He will not sell the house as it sits on "the old home place" that is in his family. Understandable that he keep the land but the 24 year old small double wide is more of a liability than an asset. Wish he would sell the mobile home to be moved off the land, then I could also keep my land but rent out my house to my kids (they need a house that big) and then he and I could get a house together that is just for the two of us and our pets. A place that isn't his with the history of him buying it with his mother who passed away or isn't mine with the history of buying it with my late husband. A place where the only memories made are the ones we make together. If only we could buy the neighbor's house so we could still be near but not right under the grandkids so we could look after them "from a bit of a distance". | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 01:29 PM |
Hello Motown! And Arianne! So grateful you both are here. welcome! Ok Motown it appears that your husband lives in his own house (sounds like a great set-up to me) although I'm not sure. First, I think that the notice from the town has given you a great place to start and I'm so pleased that already you are cleaning off the porch and the yard! Keep it up! These things are doing nobody any good. And yay on getting rid of the chair! I know you'll have to do things in a way that keeps peace in the household and I think you can do it! There may be some groans here and there but no need for battles. I'd recommend that you keep the momentum going with the yard. The town has spoken so you can deflect any criticism away from you and onto the town!!! You are doing great and you came to the right place. We love you already (in the event you haven't heard an I Love You today. | |
| Motown | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 01:16 PM |
So good news! I just got hubby to agree to donate an oversize recliner (that hasn't reclined in years since the mechanism broke) to Goodwill. This has just been taking up valuable real estate in the master bedroom of his house for years (primarily used for pillow and comforter storage when they aren't on the bed). He is also going to take one of the freezers off my porch to his house to use there after his went out back in the summer. The stuff in the freezer is primarily the stuff that came out of his freezer anyway (mostly pecans and the like so not much actually ruined when it went out and was discovered a few days later) so it might as well live in his utility room as on my porch, right? | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 12:35 PM |
Hello everyone! Tillie I am so excited about saying goodbye to the deep freeze! Way to go!!! I did get clothing to goodwill yesterday, including a bag of things from mom's. I could not donate the two bigger things because mom was there. I will get that done. I did two small loads of laundry today. Ok CM can I offer some advice on your weight loss? Merely suggestions and if you don't want them, then please don't read. First, I did intermittent fasting, 5:2 and sometimes even 4:3. I enjoyed it immensely and lost twenty pounds. After your first two non-consecutive fast days, you will start to look forward to them. I gained back ten when I decided to just binge eat and to hell with my life. thought I'd tell you a few things I've learned , largely through the nutritionist I saw in June and July. First off, I was able to stop binge eating, which is amazing. She re-tooled my thinking. I eat slowly now to enjoy the taste of my food. When I was bingeing I barely ever tasted my food. Two things I've noticed: one, a lot of my food is really tasty and two, a lot of it is not. So I've stopped eating some of the stuff I was eating because it turns out, it's just not all that tasty. I also constantly tell myself that my body isn't a garbage can. So if I start to eat something "just to finish it off," I realize I'm treating my body like a garbage can. So I either toss it (I'm sorry SubC) or I put in fridge. As I've come to learn how much I eat, I no longer purchase too much. That's my advice. Not particularly brilliant or insightful but I'm down 22 with nutritionist and 10 from fasting so I'm 32 down so far. One of my co-workers and I send each other our weekly weights. It's awful. We are not competing, we are supporting each other. We do it with humor so if I lose too much she tells me she's ordered a pizza to my house or if I'm not losing she says she's stealing my BF. Silly stuff like that. Yesterday she challenged me to a 3 mile walk and I did it. She was picking her son up at the gym and she stayed to work on the treadmill. We do not work in the same state but we are very close. I see her about four times a year. Her husband died unexpectedly two years ago. I am so impressed with all the work going on at your house! This is all good news! You are getting there. I too am tempted to buy more cake decorating supplies but am staying firmly rooted in, I will buy what I need. I do need new measuring cups as my one cup measure is missing from both sets. I will then donate the others. I saw the Russisn tips but really want to work on making roses petal by petal. Ok I see there's more for me to read but I wanted to talk weight with CM. Again nothing new to add but thought I could offer some support. I think I'll be challenging go/worker to three miles so I'll have to get dressed very soon. | |
| Arianne | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 12:24 PM |
It sounds like you are on the right track, just keep the momentum going! | |
| Motown | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 11:17 AM |
Also we got notice last week from the city to clean up outside. There are lots of things from them that are cluttering up our outdoors and the porch is full of bags of clothes that she is "going to go through". The letter prompted some action and I took 13 trash bags to a church clothes pantry and about 6 more (big lawn and leaf) bags to goodwill yesterday. But there's still a long ways to go. | |
| Motown | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 11:14 AM |
I just don't want to tick her off. Her loser "husband" doesn't hold a good job and she doesn't work. If they didn't live with me, she and the kids would be destitute. And not trying to be funny but it would take a awfully big cardboard box for them to live in on the streets. | |
| arianne | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 10:57 AM |
Arianne here, not Tillie, but if it's your house shouldn't it be your rules? What about not allowing their stuff to accumulate in common areas, if they don't pick it up, pick it up yourself and put it in their rooms? I understand not wanting to deal with anger but again it IS your house, and no you shouldn't have to get rid of your stuff to accommodate theirs. | |
| Motown | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 10:38 AM |
Tillie, it is mostly things that they set down and never do anything with. The adults are as bad as the kids (13 down to 9 months). I feel resentful because I don't feel like I should have to get rid of MY stuff to make room for theirs. | |
| motown | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 10:36 AM |
Tillie I'm in Arkansas, small town of 6,000 all my life (52 years). Yes a houseful in more ways than one. Just don't know where to begin. My 90 year old mother came over for a couple of hours last weekend to help "direct my paths" and I could see about 1/3 of the surface of the kitchen island but that's all to show for two hours of work. Then by a couple of days later it was right back like it had been. I have seen my daughter's houses where she has lived and that's how they live. I am a clutter bug but not THAT bad. I just don't know what to do. she seems to get all ticked off if I say something and has an excuse as to why she couldn't do it or whatever. I just shut up because I don't want the stress of her anger. | |
| arianne | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 10:35 AM |
Motown, would it help to ask yourself, why do I have this particular thing in the first place? Do I use it? Do I need it? Do I love it? If not get rid of it. A lot of the clutter is probably caused by the other people in your house, have them be accountable and responsible for getting rid of it. One thing some people find helpful is to get rid of so many things a day, even if it's just one, but more is better. Another fun thing is to get rid of things according to the day of the month, one thing on the first, two things on the second, three on the third and so forth. Works great for paper! | |
| Tillie | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 10:13 AM |
Just a quick "drive by" to say HI because I have to get doing stuff right now... HI CriticalMass 🙂 You CAN do this! Hi Motown WOW! you sure have a houseful! So, do you live in Detroit? | |
| Motown | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 10:00 AM |
Not sure how this whole thing works but Tillie suggested I post here on the What are you doing today place. I don't know where to begin so I guess I will just try to answer questions as they come so I know what information is needed in order for someone to guide me. My house is a 25 year old double wide mobile home that is now home to 12 people. My husband, myself, my daughter and her "husband", their 8 kids (his, hers and theirs), 4 dogs and 4 cats. And lots and lots of clutter. No filth as in no pizza boxes or coke cans stacking up and no overflowing ashtrays as we don't smoke but there is no square inch of surface that is not covered. Example, I could not set down my coffee cup this morning on any surface and I have a big kitchen with lots of counter space including countertops, a bar and an island plus the table. Not 6 square inches of surface visible. | |
| CriticalMass | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 09:56 AM |
Good morning! I've been thinking "I need to post, I need to post" for a couple days now. Then I get on here and Tillie is giving me a shoutout! Back at ya, Tillie! And woohoo happy dance on getting your freezer compartment back and being able to initiate proceedings to send the big beast freezer to a new home. That must've been pretty scary when Steven cooked that gross meat. I'm at the opposite end of that problem - I have a few things that were good but may have stayed frozen too long, and I'm going to need to evaluate whether to just cut my losses. I'm glad too that you were able to cook and eat some good food yourself. I have issues these days with cooking - the most obvious one being I just don't get it done. Living with this particular roommate in this house has shifted a lot of my patterns and I don't have the rhythm of cooking that I would were I living on my own. It's complicated - some of the factors are space, time, food allergies, and more. And simply by now, being out of the habit. Sorry your kitties and you are still feeling the gap left behind by Eowyn. She definitely was the queen. Hugs to you all. We're still trying to get kitty reintroductions accomplished amidst other busyness (more on that in a moment). The kitties have had a couple unplanned meetings when the boy slips past the door. He gets tired of being in the back room. Girl kitty I suspect is under the illusion that his banishment will be permanent, and her hiss directed toward him is probably also meant for us, for not deporting him to Timbuktu. Love your advice to Tatoulia on cabinet storage. I wish I had my Dream Minimalist Residence in which to practice some of those principles myself! Tatoulia, so glad you're enjoying your cake class. I admire your determination to not collect too many cake things and pans (remember my Clutter Club lady's saying "They always make more" LOL) - whatever you let go of, if you need one later, you'll be able to obtain it. I miss cake baking, which, like cooking, is harder to do in this living situation. I did go a little overboard when I got started. I'm a "gear geek" for any pastime I take up. I did mostly keep to basic shape pans (plus some bunny ones!). But decorating tips - oh my! I have more than a few. And other odds and ends. When I moved, I went through and compacted things down and got rid of some extraneous stuff. The bulk of my cake equipment is in storage, though, but having gone through it I feel I want to keep the stuff I really do like and plan to use. I confess I am fascinated with those Russian tips that can make a whole flower at once on a cupcake. I will probably get a set because it would actually be efficient in this setup, allow me to have the fun of decorating without having to use several separate tips and bags and have more to clean up. What excitement and fun for you when the Red Sox parade went through! I remember when Kansas City won the World Series in 2015, seeing some of their parade on TV. It would be fun to be able to enjoy it from your own house too, instead of having to drive and park and all that hassle. SubC - so glad you found those eye hooks for your ornaments and didn't have to go buy more! You and I are probably at a similar level right now in our clutter struggles. Let's pledge to keep up the good fight! Here we are seeing progress with the home improvement, but a new (though exciting) phase is imminent. My van got oil and transmission fluid changed, and it will need that one belt; I'll see if I can do it this month or if not next. But otherwise she is running so well and I feel so blessed after all that struggle with the old Money Pit one. The new and exciting home improvement thing due to happen this week is that we're getting the front porch made into a sunroom! It will be chaotic for a week at least (so if I don't get a chance to pop in, that'll be why, though I will try). My roommate can put her plant shelves out there when it's done, and the living room will have ROOM! At least more room than it has had. Right now the big dog pretty much fills up the passageway between furniture on one side and the other so it's challenging to walk through. And since I'm not a huge dog person I tend to get annoyed at him, but it's not really his fault. So this should reduce some stresses - it may also give the cats more places to not get in each other's fur when they are allowed to inhabit the same space once again. There are many things to do in preparation for this big event, and I need to get cracking on them today. Moving things off the existing porch, etc. And I hope I can catch up on some of my things like laundry. My bedroom has come to look like the aftermath of a Category 5 hurricane. 🙁 Goat paths are bad enough but when the goat path itself fills up, it's bad! I have another challenge, one which I'd hoped not to have to deal with. You may remember I had a surgery two years ago and took advantage of the lessened appetite, and desire to eat healthy during the recovery, to kick off a weight loss that was reasonably successful. But last year and this year I ended up going out to eat more with other people, which was dangerous enough. Then last winter when I had the wreck with the old van, and those mopey months with NO vehicle, I turned to sweets for solace. When we were having the bathroom plumbing done, the scale was tucked away. This morning I decided to face the music. It was bad. I've regained a third of the weight. *sobs* I know also I've exercised less, and just in so many ways gotten lax. The smaller size jeans still fit but there's a scary muffin top, and it's Orange Alert time - do something about it immediately or regret it. Fasting might be a way to go for me, and I have been cutting back on sweets; I shall cut back more, and work on shifting to healthier foods and of course watch those portions and find a way to get that exercise in. Maybe park further from buildings, use stairs instead of elevators - I am still so out of the gym habit but I'm NOT going to give up hope on getting it back too. Well, first thing to do right now is get the day going; hustling round and carrying things and doing laundry burn calories. I could use y'all's cheerleading rah-rah if you wouldn't mind - help me to remember this is a temporary setback and not a permanent defeat, tell me I can do this, etc. I love having you people who know how hard the big struggle against clutter is as my posse. Because we are unique in how our brains work, or so I've been told - the usual "Just eat more salads" or "Run 5 miles at Zero Dark Thirty" advice doesn't tend to work when our first battle is to avoid despair. Into the breach! Damn the torpedoes! etc. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 05 November 2018 - 08:48 AM |
Good Morning Last night before I went to bed Today I have to go over my sample ballot again and make decisions. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 04 November 2018 - 08:22 PM |
Good Evening Everybody HELLO CRITICALMASS 🙂 Hi Subclinical Well, we all knew your house would get messier during this time before the sale. Hi Tatoulia I know that feeling, I really like something but for some reason I just want to send it on it's way now. Spent today going through, sorting out deep freeze stuff, pantry stuff and fridge stuff. I got most all my stuff out of the deep freeze, sorted and some is in the fridge freezer and some is in the fridge. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 04 November 2018 - 09:34 AM |
SubC isn't it funny how we have these internal dialogues that tell us we are worthless and everything is ruined? I am so grateful you found the mechanisms you need to make your ornaments. I am going to take some things to goodwill today including some things I tried to sell but did not sell at the shop. I am almost fine with donating. I am talking big pieces such as a piece of artwork in an elaborate frame and a chair. I need to do when not with mom as she will feel unnecessary pain over items she's never even seen before. Beautiful sunny and cold fall day. Imagine my happiness. I just stripped the bed for a quick load of laundry. I have to mail my friend the clothes she left behind as well as a dear little Halloween decoration I pulled from my closet. I love it madly but part of me has been saying "just get rid of it." When I brought it out, she said, I wish that were going home with me, and I said, that's why I brought it out. I was hoping you'd want it. So I'll need to find a box. I weighed myself today and I'm down! Just a smidge, maybe half a pound. I was concerned because of all the eating we did but then again not concerned because I feel like myself. I think I won't go to Michael's today. They are having a Christmas craft kick off of some sort and it may be too much to navigate with mom. My cake decorating can wait. I'll take her for a ride, then groceries. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 04 November 2018 - 05:56 AM |
Hello Tillie! I am very glad about your freezer! And Tatoulia, it is great to see you getting your kitchen nice! My house is getting messier and messier, but I am focusing on getting the pottery done this week. I will have more house cleaning time next week, and a couple of days before we go to see ds for thanksgiving. The girls are coming here the Saturday after thanksgiving, and I want all the living areas cleaned up. I have been moving things from the studio barn to the basement again. The studio barn is the worst area right now and I need to work in there. One step forward, two steps back. Yesterday I couldn't find some eye screws I needed for ornaments. I remembered moving them during a studio organizing binge in the spring, but not where I moved them to. I got very upset and fell into old patterns, being sure I was never going to find them, and my day would be wasted and I would not get my ornaments made this year (I usually make a couple hundred dollars on ornaments, so that is a big deal) but then I found them. Because it is bad - but it is not that bad anymore. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 03 November 2018 - 08:50 PM |
Good Evening HELLO SUBCLINICAL 😀 Hi Tatoulia 🙂 Nicest thing about living in a big city is there are so many different stores where you can eventually find exactly what you want. Wishing you all the best luck getting that A/C out soon as possible. Been so sad and quiet here. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 03 November 2018 - 06:44 PM |
Oh I'm so happy for you, Tillie! I truly am! Thinking about the clean smell and your years of hard work to reclaim that area!!! Keep working to get the derp freeze out! I have to get my broken AC out. I have to call the city for a pickup and combine that with getting BF and one of his employees to take out for me. That will feel good to get done before stairs are icy. Big winds tonight! Just back from a quick sandwich with BF. I was hungry but didn't want a full- on restaurant meal. I did do a load of towels today. I want to make pumpkin bread. I have one full loaf pan that I've been using. I've gotten rid of all the others and I'm grateful for that. I will at some point think about getting an 8-1/2" pan again. When I cleaned out scary cabinet I didn't want to keep much of anything and I'm still good with my choices in that regard. No regret creeping in. I'll do a bit more baking to decide if I need a smaller pan. I don't want to jump the gun. I don't like using the disposable foil pans (so riddle-me-this: why did I own and subsequently donate maybe ten sets of 3 or 4 disposable loaf pans?). The bake isn't as nice. I did order a rose nail so I can practice my roses and a work friend told me where I can go to buy just the icing tips I need. I have three of the five the instructor said we'd use 90% of the time, and I refuse to go to a 36 tip set to get the other two. She told me that Michael's (a store I am not familiar with) is a craft store and sells the tips individually. I'm not ready to buy the loaf pan while I'm working on my icing. I want to ward off failed projects, wasted money, wasted space. Look at me, practicing what I've learned here and during decluttering projects. Tillie how are the kitties? They've had a lot of changes and I hope that they are doing okay. My little one is asleep next to me and I could just cry she's so sweet. Did I tell you that when my friend was here that kitty slept with me? A couple of the nights. It was great fun. She rarely sleeps with me. She used to love sleeping by BF's feet when she was little. She would sleep in that one spot. I suspect she still does that when she's at his house; he says she doesn't but then why are his feet in all the pictures? Well it's not even 8 PM and I'm tired. Will go watch a movie. I'll bake tomorrow. Everyone thank you for supporting me on maintaining my boundary with the sibling. My friend (whose known my sibling since he was 7) also supported me. I still need frequent reassurance. Tillie I know you understand the pain. Both before and after setting the boundary. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 03 November 2018 - 03:48 PM |
The kitchen refrigerator/freezer has been completely & totally scrubbed inside and out!!! HAPPY DANCE 😀 Normally, usually I just use warm water and a touch of dish soap, but today I used "Clorox" disinfecting cleaner with long lasting scent. Hey Tatoulia 🙂 I always wonder how people end up with old forgotten teas??? Isn't it satisfying to go through and organize your cabinet? I have been thinking... | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 03 November 2018 - 02:33 PM |
Wishing you well as you clean your fridge and freezer! I bet you've wanted to do that a long, long time! You are no longer thwarted on the freezer! I'm organizing a kitchen cabinet right now. Throwing out old teas and other things that escaped me the first time around. I'm putting things back in a logical order. I may take everything back out when cleaners are here and ask them to wash the cabinet. They have done all of the outsides and the insides of the doors but I'll need them to wash the insides shelves well. I'll buy some new shelf liners. They can easily incorporate one cabinet at a time. I'll also bring the step ladder up. The walk did me good! It's stopped raining and it's getting colder as it gets sunnier. And I love it. So I'm making easy decisions today. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 03 November 2018 - 09:46 AM |
Good Morning Everyone 🙂 Hi Tatoulia 🙂 I know what wonderful things happen when we eliminate toxic people from our lives. LOL ;D Only one thing on my "To-Do" list for today | |