~Good afternoon & coffee clinks!~
Its everything i can do to not sink into a bitter state of depression. There is a certain point when it cant just be random any more, where this obvious pattern needs to be recognized. I just dont know what to make of it.
As far as bleach, i know it is what everyone uses, but i dont like how toxic it is & that it needs to be washed off with soap & rinsed, whereas peroxide doesnt & is not toxic at all, and cleans almost as well.
My only idea or plan for myself is to do what i did coming off the hormones, and that is microbe therapy by walking barefoot in my yard several times a day, allowing the healthy soil & earth grounding ions to help ground me~ I am 'asking' the Universe what im suppose to learn or do. If this property doesnt want me to build, id like to know why & i still will be bringing & expanding LOVE & LIGHT to it until i get an answer....☆♡☆

~Good afternoon & coffee clinks!~
Its everything i can do to not sink into a bitter state of depression. There is a certain point when it cant just be random any more, where this obvious pattern needs to be recognized. I just dont know what to make of it.
As far as bleach, i know it is what everyone uses, but i dont like how toxic it is & that it needs to be washed off with soap & rinsed, whereas peroxide doesnt & is not toxic at all, and cleans almost as well.
My only idea or plan for myself is to do what i did coming off the hormones, and that is microbe therapy by walking barefoot in my yard several times a day, allowing the healthy soil & earth grounding ions to help ground me~ I am 'asking' the Universe what im suppose to learn or do. If this property doesnt want me to build, id like to know why & i still will be bringing & expanding LOVE & LIGHT to it until i get an answer....☆♡☆

Good Morning Everybody 🙂
"Clink!"

Hi Subclinical 🙂
Great idea to try not talking negatively to yourself.
Think of some positive things to repeat to yourself to drown out those negative voices.
I am very happy that you know your limits as to how many animal friends you are able right now to care for. ;D
You are a great caretaker of the ones you have and doing it right, so it takes a LOT of effort, time and energy.

Quiet morning here.
Chilly but clear skies until later today.
Nothing planned for today.
Thinking about sorting through all my Summertime dresses because soon the weather will warm up enough to start wearing them again.
When I put them away last Autumn there were a few that I was on the fence about keeping.
I really liked them but thinking maybe they are ready for the burn barrel, too worn out.
I hate when a favorite something gets worn out but must look to the future when I will have a new favorite something. ;D

Hi porter!

Anony, I really hope you feel better soon. And that your house gets clean. You deserve a nice, safe place to live!

Tillie, I also have a cat (indoor/outdoor "working" cat who does a moderately good job on the mice) and a rabbit (English angora, for spinning)

I would like to have more rabbits, but I am not ready for them yet either.

The ducks will stay with me and go back and forth to school for a few more weeks. They are still very cute, but I think I will get my duck fix.

I am behind on my garden already, and my weight is creeping up. I am trying not to talk negatively to myself and to just start from where I am today.

Hi Mar 🙂
One of the worst molds is called "Black Mold".
That stuff makes people living in a house with it very ill.
The mold gets in their lungs and just ruins their health forever.
Many houses get this mold in hidden areas like behind the wallboard or under the flooring.
I do not know how to identify this type of mold but I'm sure there is somewhere on the internet with that info.
But it takes a professional mold remediation company to completely and safely remove it.

About my "garden"
It's a very small section of the property, like the postage stamp on an envelope.
The rest of the property is derelict vehicles and a whole lot of hoarded junk.
My garden area is like a tiny peaceful oasis in the middle of chaos. 🙂

Oh, Tillie, thank you very much for the interesting information about cleaning and bleach!
Taking note of "solution of 50/50 water and bleach" for when I want to disinfect some area.
What are these other types of mold that should only be handled by professionals? :s

Hi Porter! Good job.

=====
I tried to post this yesterday, but wi-fi here is intermittent and it was not published :/
I hope I will be here later to read the newer posts!
=====

Hello!

Good night and happy dreams to everyone! ♡

Hello Everyone 🙂

HI PORTER! 😀
Thanks for the drive by.
WAY TO GO!!! for putting in the time to keep up with everything.

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
What I like about bleach is that it is a good disinfectant that does not make germs resistant to it like any antibiotic disinfecting cleaner.
Then, after it's been used it degrades into simple harmless salts that doesn't even hurt grass or plants.
I use peroxide to disinfect my toothbrush and bite guard so I don't end up re-infecting myself and I use peroxide to clean the area around cat abscesses.

Well, the gardening went well and was very satisfying.
Took me an extra half hour to complete because the Sheriff stopped by to chat.
He's a very nice person and an excellent Sheriff.
When I was done & back inside I was starving and made myself some lunch.
Soon as I rest up I'll shower & shampoo.
The wind is starting to pick up and clouds have blown in. It's getting chilly out there.
So now I am all up to date with my gardening have-tos, things that must get done in a timely manner. ;D

Just a check in.
weight still in 220s barely.

still spending about 7 hours a week keeping on top of everything.

~♡~Coffee clinks to all!~♡~
Ive been reading up on using peroxide instead of bleach, since i do not like bleach at all, and even tho it is controversial, i still feel MUCH better about peroxide. I have a mask that i wore when i was loading up old fiberglass panels a few years ago. I know there are different kinds. My friend who is a health nut(raw vegan) and cleans houses for a living, says she sprays water mist before dusting. I think i have freaked myself out over everything at this point, including my garden dirt. I dont want to become afraid...just balance safety, somewhat. My main safety plan has always been just to have a strong immune system....tho, it was strong when i got this sick....part of me is tempted to hire Steri-clean, if i could afford it & they wouldnt spray anything toxic?

~♡~Coffee clinks to all!~♡~
Ive been reading up on using peroxide instead of bleach, since i do not like bleach at all, and even tho it is controversial, i still feel MUCH better about peroxide. I have a mask that i wore when i was loading up old fiberglass panels a few years ago. I know there are different kinds. My friend who is a health nut(raw vegan) and cleans houses for a living, says she sprays water mist before dusting. I think i have freaked myself out over everything at this point, including my garden dirt. I dont want to become afraid...just balance safety, somewhat. My main safety plan has always been just to have a strong immune system....tho, it was strong when i got this sick....part of me is tempted to hire Steri-clean, if i could afford it & they wouldnt spray anything toxic?

Good Morning Everybody 🙂
"Clink!"

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
Yeah, getting sick can just happen to anybody at any time no matter what we do to keep healthy (((hugs)))

My plan for today is to get outside around 10:00am and do some raking out of leaves in the rhubarb and wild rose bed when it warms up.
Need to re-rake some leaves out from under the lilac hedge too.
Then treat the two Ash trees with "Bayer" tree & shrub protect & feed to keep those nasty boring beetles away from them.
Only thing I have found to prevent that leaf curl.
Then I plan to spread a bit of steer manure around to make all the garden plants big green & happy.
After all that I will need to shower & shampoo.
The gardening should take around 2 1/2 hours and working outside will help my cabin fever/Spring fever. ;P
Not supposed to rain today until later on this afternoon and temperature should get up into the 40s.
It's almost 9:00am right now so that gives me plenty of time to finish my tea and get dressed.
Also, Mr. Cottontail is still out there, by 10 he should be off to bed. 😉

Thank you, Tillie! Ive been really thinking through how i could have gotten this sick & i dont think the tiny bit of clearing of the things off those shelves couldve done this. Then i started thinking maybe its Valley Fever, which is a kinda local thing from spores in the dirt, which ive been starting a new garden? But its more likely i just got a bad flu that wasnt some kind of curse, but i just got sick at the worst possible time, even tho i did absolutely everything right to be strong & ready for the workshop. Maybe. Im exhausted from trying to understand all this. Its just the overall constant barrage of barricades to making real improvements on my place. It honestly makes no sense to have been like this.

Any mess can be cleaned safely.
Some need professional cleaning by a properly trained crew with the proper protective equipment.
That's what Steri-Clean is.
But not all messes need professional cleaning crews, they just need people to use the proper procedures and wear the proper protective gear.
Not all face masks are good enough to protect us so we need to pay a little more and get the masks that will.
Clothing needs to cover us properly.
Long sleeve shirts, buttoned up. Long pants, denim is good.
Shoes are very important, no sandals or flip flops.
Thick gloves are needed at times and rubber gloves should be worn at all other times.
In a dusty area or an area with any animal or human waste, spraying to moisten and keep down the dust with a solution of 50/50 water and bleach is best to keep dust down.
Sweeping is better than most household vacuums to put less dust into the air.
I spritz down the garage floor with bleach water before I sweep because people very near here have died from hantavirus.
Common bathroom mold can be cleaned with a bleach product but there are other types of mold that should only be handled by professionals.

Hoarded areas get dusty, it's just a fact of life.
Rodents, insects and mold like to live in places with lots of dark hiding spaces that go undisturbed for a long time.

Did you know that not all bleach kills germs?
Read the labels. Some of the newer scented bleaches do NOT disinfect.
Make sure the label says it will kill 99.9% of germs & viruses.

Hoarding is hazardous to our health in so many ways.
Our homes can, do and will make us sick.
Fires in hoarded homes kill many people every year.
How many injuries have you all had due to the excess clutter?
I have had many.

This isn't just about having a clean home.
This is all about keeping us all safe and healthy along with eliminating some of the emotional/psychological issues caused by living in a hoarded house.
(((HUGS)))

Tillie, i do wonder about stirring up the mess in here. I know this flu going around is really bad & that could be all this is, but it being so much in my chest is kinda what got me thinking of something i breathed in. I hardly moved stuff around, tho. If that did make me sick, there is no question that i would not live through cleaning this place....great....maybe thats why i cant seem to do it? Maybe its some inner knowing........

Hello Everybody 🙂

Hi Subclinical 🙂
WAY TO GO!!! for resisting the cuteness and only buying the two needed ducklings. 😀
Great that you can put what you already have to house them to use.
Do you have any other animals besides the goats and chickens?

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
I find it satisfying too to also just put something in my shopping cart in RL or online.
For a brief time it's mine and that's enough, I can put it back or delete it.
Costs nothing, no return charges. 😉
So sweet that you brought your Mom daffodils and stayed there a little longer. (((hugs)))

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
Did you get the flu virus going around this year?
I did and it was a very hard virus to deal with.
And it has left me with a bad cough, sinus infection, exhaustion and thrush to this day.
That flu totally messed me up and leaving lingering after effects.
(((HUGS)))

Checked the weather report this morning, no rain until tonight so I washed all the dirty laundry.
Then I scrubbed, scoured & sanitized all the litter boxes and refilled with fresh litter.
Then I did some cooking, used up some more pantry supplies.
Then cleaned the kitchen, again.
Laundry dried so I folded it all and put it away.
Got lots of other stuff done too.
It was a very good morning. 🙂

Anonymoniker
You have a lot of wildlife roaming freely around there.
Many of these creatures carry pathogens that can be passed onto humans.
Example, the hantavirus is in rodent urine.
When the urine dries out it mixes freely with the dust.
We stir up the dust and the virus becomes airborne.
Without wearing a good quality face mask, we then can and do inhale the virus.
Many people have contracted hantavirus this way.
Some recovered but many have died.

So yes, that long standing dust may have made you sick with some kind of pathogen.

Mold also sits idle in dust until it finds a warm moist dark place to begin to grow, like our lungs.

Anybody anywhere disturbing any dust really should be wearing proper masks.

~♡~Thank you for you concern & well wishes everyone!~♡~
Ive been trying to figure out how i even got this sick? The thought that it could be from stiring up old dust while cleaning the bathroom shelves is a very disturbing idea, for obvious reasons. This thing started off with a LOT of sneezing. Can old dust do that???

Good work on resisting the urge, SubC. I have been resisting buying stuff (not farm animals) by sometimes handling it and carrying around in store before putting it back. Or putting in my online shopping cart then later deleting. the time allows the rush I get from finding something cool/pretty/cute to pass.

Tatoulia, I put off jobs like that all the time, and then they become so big in my mind.... at least it isn't the scrubbing you avoid. If you avoid sweeping it only takes a tiny bit longer, but scrubbing can get really bad. (I know!)

Yesterday I bought ducks for my classroom. The plan is that the ducks will visit the classroom for a while so we can learn about them, and then they will go live on another farm (not mine) with some other ducks.

They are so adorable! It was horribly tempting to buy more ducks and keep them, but I only bought the two minimum required. I have already told the other farmer she is getting the ducks. Hopefully I will be over them by the time they are ready to go so I am broken of wanting ducks. I do not need the complication of ducks in my life right now.

In other news, I am using equipment I already had, so I only bought ducks and duck food.

Anony I love you too. I will call Cory on Monday and work with him to get this back to being mobile friendly.

SubC You are such a wonderful person. I bet it wouldn't take even 10 minutes to properly sweep my floor. On the plus side I was very happy with a clean tub today. And I'm glad I'm keeping up with the sink and vanity.

Tillie I bought my mother 30 daffodils today and dropped them off tonight. I was hungry & tired as it was 8PM. So I decided to eat my sandwich st her house in order to stretch out the visit.

I will talk to you all later. Anony we are standing by your side and shoring you up.

Oh Anony, I am sorry. I really understand how that feels. I wish I could reach down and pull you up. 🙁

~Greetings & coffee clinks!!!~
I wish i had some cheer to spread, but i have been really fighting not just a sinking depression, but deep anger, as well. Ive tried to figure out what i did to get this sick right before this workshop. I sure hope it was not brought on by dusting over the toilet?! If that is the case, ill never live through cleaning this place. I dont even care about anything anymore. Whatever forces are at work, have beaten me down....
As far as this thread being too long to read, its still not back to being mobile friendly, so it doesnt matter, at least not yet?
~♡~I love you all very much!~♡~

Good Morning Everybody 🙂
"Clink!"

Hi Subclinical 🙂
WTG! for working on the laundry. 😀
Sorry your cheese didn't work out as you wanted but ricotta is good too.
Must have ricotta to make lasagna or stuffed manicotti.
I like that our property taxes too mostly go to the schools and volunteer fire department.
Some years back we were able to vote in a property tax "cap" in our county, which is mostly farm land.
We also were able to vote in that they would not be able to collect taxes on old impoverished people and auction off their homes making them homeless.
There are a lot of oldtimers here struggling to get by now that they are no longer actively able to farm & ranch and have sold off their fields and livestock just to survive.

Rain, rain & more rain since last night.
The apricot tree is real pretty in bloom now.
Daffodils have their heads weighed down, heavy with the rain water.
Hyacinth is a blooming pink beauty.
Today I plan to do a little bit of cooking and then clean the kitchen, again.
Been keeping up with my clothing laundry by hanging it on the rack or hangers in the house.

Hi everyone!

Mar, I posted on your other threads.

Tatoulia, you have been really busy! I'm glad the challenges have been resolving themselves without too much difficulty. WTG on the bathroom! How long do you think it would take to sweep? I would much rather sweep than scrub.

Tillie, I want your property tax bill! I don't make enough net income "farming" to qualify as a farm for taxes, so our property tax bill is very high. Half of it is schools though, and I feel good about supporting those! and another big chunk goes to our fire station, which is the center of our community (people even have weddings there) the taxes will go down when dh turns 65.

I am enjoying reading about your spring.

We had a snow day yesterday. I spent the afternoon trying to make cheese, but the curds kept failing to form properly. I wanted to make mozzarella, but ended up with four quarts of whole milk ricotta because that is all you can make from a batch of mozzarella that doesn't curdle correctly. I don't know if it is too early in the lactation cycle or something I did.

I was actually glad for the snow day. I got most of the laundry put away too and generally feel less overwhelmed.

Hi Everyone 🙂

Hi Mar 🙂
Good to "see" you! 😀
Great plan you have, putting keep papers in a box, recycle papers to recycle and other recyclables out too.
The more you can get out of your space the easier sorting gets.
A little bit more elbow room to work in.
A good book to read to help you understand and conquer the fear of discarding is
"Buried In Treasures".
Helps you work your thought processes.

HI Tatoulia 🙂
WAY TO GO!!!! YEA!!! 😀
Wonderful job scrubbing that tub and also getting to the sink and vanity.
This morning I swished clean the inside of the toilet bowl here.

Had fun in town. Talked to some friendly humans and mailed off an important thing to the county property tax people.
Every year if I return the info card stating that I live here and not rent it out, my taxes are set at a lower rate.
Don't want to lose my 400.00 a year property tax bill. ;P

Hey Mar I'm glad you are back! And working on papers! I can feel your pain! Stick with us and your pain will be lessened. It certainly feels less when I have everyone here. Let's get this done!

Great job Tatoulia! Way to go!!! 😀

Hi all!

((((HUGS))))

I cleaned my tub! Took three passes! It's clean!!!