Quick drive by.
I wonder what its like to load up a box full of clutter . Drive over to someones house . And leave the box? I mean if I ask for help clearing my hoard.
And they say no . I think it would be funny to give them some it.

Tillie.
Is he not even paying the old amount towards removal of trash?

Hello everyone.

Anony, so sorry about your friend. Keep in touch.
Tilllie, glad to hear about your trees. Tatoulia, sounds like you are manging to roll with the punches.

Pain, just wanted to let you know that I LOVE ❤️❤️❤️ the show "Alone". I started watching it at the beginning, two seasons ago on Vancouver Island. The women this season were really great in Patagonia.

No-one understands my living situation but me, so I guess that is why I relate so well to the show. I make all my own decisions, and my health is improving. If I had followed anyone else's formula, I would have been dead long ago.

Take care, everyone.

Pain, what i would give to have a man like you in my life...i have recently found myself fantasizing about having a partner that would want to help me with all this! I do think i need to do it on my own tho....somehow...

Last night i tred a bunch of times to post & it didnt take...i was afraid after all those tries, itd end up posting 10 times without me knowing....geeez...im on a phone so i dont think i can copy & paste.
~Thank you, Tillie & everyone for your suggestions in dealing with my friend & her illness! You are right,she doesnt want me to be all guarded, or morose..and yes, she will indicate a change of tone & last night she said she wants to laugh more & did i know of any funny comedies to recommend, so that was a good indication!
Tillie, how is it possible that he didnt notice all those trees gone?!!? ....tho my Dad was kinda like that too, and was a hoarder...tho back then that word wasnt used. He was considered to be an eccentric collector...& im so glad, for his sake!
Tatoulia, i laughed reading about all the extra loads of washing cat food bowls! You are such a good cat Mom! You are a great caregiver of everyone around you! Please do take care of yourself as well as those around you?!
Yesterday a friend invited me to a drum circle near where i lived & i initially panicked over her coming here to pick me up, then realized where i could meet her & park my car, with the true excuse that i live so far away & its hard to find...id really love to have my place fixed up enough to have people over someday soon...
I did get some stuff done yesterday & it did make me feel better! I also realized spider season will be here soon & i need to get the kitchen cupboard corner cleaned first! That is today's project! My progress is very slow, but it is happening! 😀

Found something to do.
I know it seems like I'm non stop doing things.

But that's not always been the case.
Three years ago I tried to get on that TV show .
ALONE.
ITS A SURVIVAL challenge where you get to take some gear ,but you're alone in a hostile wilderness . You win $500,000 if you're the last out of ten contestants to remain .
Rule #1 spend all your energy improving the situations.

I am doing this in my everyday life.
I have routine days but when I FEEL like doing something to improve my situation. I look for something .

Today I found all my canisters that I keep in the cupboards could be cleaned and some purged.
They are thick acrylics, and have a rubber seal with a metal clamp . So they are even ant proof.

So today I made a list.of which ones need emptied and cleaned, which ones need used up before expiration and which ones could be better organized to make usable space.
But I'm washing every single one. And I'm making it a chore to put on my spring and fall cleaning.

There are very few sings of mice in the kitchen now. And I catch 1 in the kitchen about 1 in every five day or so. So they are not getting into the food anymore.

I don't know if this will help anyone, but it bounced through my head.

For worry , especially chronic worrying, one practice is take 5 minutes a day to make a list of your most pressing worries. About 10 to 15 .
Then take 15 minutes to dwell on the worries .nothing else. Just worry our hearts out. Then write down 2 solutions for each one. In five minutes after dwelling on them.

Then throw away the paper.

Do this daily.

It works for couples too with a little variation and a serious effort.
I'll come back later with the nutritional
Synergy food for the Bs.

Today I'm just taking a relax day. Except for fixing dinner and doing a load of laundry.

But that means I'll be on prowl to urge someone to purge something. I've figured every four days I go after them so it's not absolutely nagging nonstop.
And every fourth is a frivolous number of days that I keep to myself. If I don't prompt them the remain unchanged if not collecting more things.

The common areas I just do it all myself.
Their personal areas , I try use as their personal boundaries from me so I nag at them in their space.
But when and where I see neglect I prompt them .
If I prompt them twice and they don't budge.
I go in to their space and deal with it and come back and nag them till its like a pain to hear.
Then I try to leave before it gets to the point of out burst.

When it was a hoard of mess and disorganized. It was like ripping off someone's bandaid. But nor I have to remove the bandaid gently or it becomes my pain.

Tillie that is a good point re vitamin depletion. I will go to store today for some vitamins. I think mentally I'm exhausted and I need to push through that.

I'm working from home today and need strong focus. I'm enjoying a cup of coffee as the cats eat.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
We crossed posts again 😀

Here today with all the chain saw and chipper noise all the cats reacted differently.
Marty wanted out to "help" them work.
I said "NO".
Pooh Kitty hid under her dresser all day.
Scooter ran around freaking out all day.
The other two slept through it all.

Hello everyone.

Congratulations on the trees, Tillie!
CM I am a master at decluttering other people's homes. All that junk vs my treasures!
Anony, I'm sorry about your friend. I try to just be myself in tough situations but I also listen to see if I need a tone-shift. It's tough but you'll find the words.
Pain, keep up the good work.

Saw mom after work then slept. Cats are OK. They are trying to keep it together. I am tired a lot and trying to balance things.

I have to run my dishwasher every night. The cats use so many dishes it is really something. They are little eating machines. The little one, mom's cat, goes through a lot of food. She doesn't vomit and she seems to be fine, meaning it doesn't seem to be nervous eating. My cat seems to be eating less these days. It's hard to tell. Tillie, I had no idea how the work is exponentially harder with two cats.

Everyone, looking forward to seeing what tomorrow brings. For me, I'd like to do some more vacuuming and maybe some sweeping. I need to clean bathroom too.

Hi Pain 🙂
I do have a burn barrel.
I live out in the county and am allowed to just burn anything anywhere on my property any time I want to.
Except when the winds are blowing or there is a red flag wildfire danger warning issued.
I do burn a LOT of stuff. 😀
I am glad that you and your wife & daughter enjoy just normal daily pleasures together. (((HUGS)))
Laundry...
I try to do a load of laundry whenever there is enough to do one.
It's not like I have to take it down to the river and beat it on the rocks.
Simply load the machine & turn it on.
Hang it somewhere to dry, fold & put away.
The change from Winter to warmer weather causes more laundry as I pack away freshly washed unneeded stuff.
Then Spring clean and swap out the drapes for more lightweight Summer curtains.
But most day to day stuff is easy to keep done.

OK Just checked and I do have marshmallows.
But they are the mini ones for use in hot cocoa. ;D

So far he has not noticed the trees are missing ;P

Get some marshmallows Tillie
Do you have a fire pit?
If not get one.

At first it's wieners and marshmallows, then one day it rids you some wooden objects in the hoard.

If you have a burn barrel. Then never mind. Just a thought .

Mother in law smothers my wife with gloom and doom.
I'm so glad when she leaves for days because we get back to listen to videos and falling about food and friends. Things to do that were forward to . Then she comes back and it's just tears and sniffing. Nothing wrong with it, just wish NANN could be more a friend to daughter than rehashing how tragic it is.
But In no way do I say anything. But I do try to replace her care giving , with my wife's friends.
Not that is hospice yet. So really it's just about sitting g with a friend. That's great advice Tillie.
And anony it's perfectly normal to feel what your feeling.

I have adapt my routine to the washer issue.
It takes a long time to do laundry now due to having to turn the knob manually.
So now I do it everyday while cooking dinner.
I'm in proximity and it spends no more time doing that than the dinner time.
So 1 load a day for now.

HELLO 🙂

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
That is very common.
The reason it would be so easy is because you do not have any personal ties to all that stuff.
It's when it's our own stuff that decision making becomes hard.
😉

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
Thank you 🙂
About your friend...
Her whole world has been turned upside down right now.
What she really truly wants is just her old life back, the one she was living before the diagnosis.
You can give her some of that by talking to her just as you always have.
Don't talk about all the medical & sad stuff unless she wants to talk about it.
Do not mourn.
Celebrate the time you are together.
Be the same friend to her that you have always been.
(((HUGS)))

Weather here has turned very windy.
The tree guys have cut down 4 of the 5 trees today.
They chipped lots of branches and sectioned lots of logs.
They will return tomorrow and finish up the job.
The yard looks so different.
OPEN is the word I would use to describe it.
Someone is due home from work in about an hour.
Wondering what his reaction is going to be.
He knew this really needed to be done.
The trees were dangerous.
😀

I'm so smiling at you critical mass!

Hi all!
Tillie, im so happy the troublesome trees are getting cleared! That should change the whole feel of things at your place! YEA!!! 😀
CM, ive often noticed myself having urges to want to clean up other's messes, too & thought how very odd?! And for some reason helping others with their messes, or even washing their dishes, always seems far easier than doing my own?!!
....it took me a while to read these posts cuz i keep crying & then couldnt see to read...whenever something upsetting is happening, then everything seems bad...i also am now having trouble with what to say to my dear friend with....cancer(its hard to even type that)...we usually text almost daily, but now i feel like i shouldnt be telling her 'trivial' stuff, or funny stuff, cuz it feels like im making light of things, yet i know being heavy & serious & scared isnt good either...i want so much to help her...im also looking at my own situation & wondering how much i should take on at my age, as far as putting in a new building to live in, a greenhouse, etc...
I feel so down today, but i can tell ill just keep spiraling downward if i indulge it, so when i finish my tea im going to work on the living room some. ~♡~

Hi all!
Tillie, im so happy the troublesome trees are getting cleared! That should change the whole feel of things at your place! YEA!!! 😀
CM, ive often noticed myself having urges to want to clean up other's messes, too & thought how very odd?! And for some reason helping others with their messes, or even washing their dishes, always seems far easier than doing my own?!!
....it took me a while to read these posts cuz i keep crying & then couldnt see to read...whenever something upsetting is happening, then everything seems bad...i also am now having trouble with what to say to my dear friend with....cancer(its hard to even type that)...we usually text almost daily, but now i feel like i shouldnt be telling her 'trivial' stuff, or funny stuff, cuz it feels like im making light of things, yet i know being heavy & serious & scared isnt good either...i want so much to help her...im also looking at my own situation & wondering how much i should take on at my age, as far as putting in a new building to live in, a greenhouse, etc...
I feel so down today, but i can tell ill just keep spiraling downward if i indulge it, so when i finish my tea im going to work on the living room some. ~♡~

Helping to clean out the garage. Seeing another's clutter - feeling like "I could get rid of all this junk and that stuff can be donated blah blah blah and organize the rest in a day" and realizing I need to keep my hypocritical mouth shut, LOL! 😀

THE TREE GUYS ARE HERE!!!!

😀

Good Morning 🙂

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
Good luck with all the yardwork you need to get done.
That can be a great workout as long as you take care not to over-do and hurt yourself.
🙂

Hi Pain 🙂
YEA! Way To Go!
with keeping up with your scheduled days! 😀

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
You are doing FANTASTIC!
Happy you are getting so much good use from your carpet cleaner. 😉
Please don't over-do and get too tired.
(((HUGS)))

Yesterday was so beautiful, sunny and warm.
Wore a summertime dress for the first time this year.
This morning is cloudy and sprinkling.
Really hope this doesn't delay the tree cutting down.
Yesterday I moved as much of his clutter away from the tree areas as I possibly could manage.
Just a few very heavy things left that I couldn't move.

Following routine today.
Kitchen and trash o

I worked in my dresser today, which is a clutter magnet. I just put out my garbage. I've showered and I'm going to set up coffee maker for AM. Goal is to leave for work 1-1/2 hours early so I can leave early and see mom.

Brought over mom's dishes today to run through my dishwasher. I'll then put them away--have paper plates and plastic utensils for her to use once she's home from hospital, until she had her strength back. I wanted to do more work at her house but the smoke alarm needed a new battery and the random sharp beeps were too unnerving. The front desk will have maintenance take care of it for me.

Her bed is all clean but I'd really like to get over there with my carpet cleaner and clean her upholstered chairs. Maybe I can swing that on Thursday.

Thank you for your support. I am doing things in a small way and I feel better emotionally and mentally.

I vacuumed bedroom today, did some dusting in bedroom, took a lamp to mom's house (I had disposed of a broken one at her house) and I shredded some papers. I still have to get garbage out and recycling. At least I did a little something in addition to working today.

I will need more cat litter. Going through quite a bit with two cats. But that's fine--they are worth it. The grumbling continues but not terrible.

CM keep up the good work. I'm sorry about your friend. Everyone, I am reading your posts and glad to see what you are doing. Tillie we had a pretty nice day here today. 50F. I aired out the house which always makes me feel more hopeful.

Happy Spring everyone!

It's going to be a busier Spring Break week than I had anticipated - in the sense of more things to do that are chores rather than things I'd like to be doing, LOL! Some critter chewed on and killed a tree in my roommate's yard, so we have to get that cleared away, and prepare for the termite inspection man by moving a lot of stuff in the garage and getting leaves from around the base of the house, etc. And I have to tackle some of the clutter in my room. It's too big a job to do to perfection, but if I can just get it semi-decent, good enough.

Whether I get to make a storage run this week or have to wait till next, remains to be seen. Today will be my exercise day and time to visit my friend who is in rehab after being in the hospital. The rehab is way across town, so gasoline is a concern, but there is a branch of the Y near there, which helps. All the yard work may suffice for the rest of my exercise this week.

I'll try to check in when I can . . . keep up the good work everyone.

Pain,
I am amazed how much you're able to get scanned. You must have a good speedy scanner. Mine is old (and in the storage at the moment) and slow as a slug - which makes me dread and procrastinate scanning, knowing how long it's going to take. Wish I had the moola to buy a better one.

Oh, and good quick thinking in your response to the passing stuff down to your daughter issue! It's important to balance keepsakes vs. too much stuff that's not as important, but that your daughter might feel she needs to keep because it was passed down to her. I am the end of the line in my family, and I'm not sure what to do with some of my family stuff for when I die . . . hoping to see after I get it scanned who is interested among my cousins and their children. Some things are cool - like pictures in those 19th Century oval frames with oval glass. I don't know whether I'll have a home large enough to display some of it. It may be better for me to take a photo and pass the big framed originals on. Decisions decisions.

Hello everyone! Spring has sprung!

I'm merely keeping up with laundry, dishes, garbage & litter box. If that's something.

Need to get to mom's apt to work in some stuff. I'm tired all the time. Just exhausted. hoping to pull it together at some point.

Keep up the good work everybody! I'm cheering for you!

SPRING EQUINOX!

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Just sorta doing some tidying up inside & out today.
Mostly will be celebrating SPRING. 😀
A time of promise and new beginnings.
A time to start clearing away the cobwebs and dust of Winter, making room for what this season has in store for me.
;D

Hi Pain 🙂
WOOHOO!
WAY TO GO!!!
Fantastic! that all your stuff from storage now fits in your room at home!
Very happy you got rid of that storage unit too.
Great job scanning that whole bin.
Enjoy your rest of the day 😀

This was a great day for me.
I brought all my stuff home.
It's about 1/10th the volume it was when it went to storage.it all fits in my room.

I moved out of the extra storage unit. Because they tried to say it didn't qualify for the first month free because I'm not new customer, but that's exactly what they said. I said what the cost of I just get out of it today. It was what I had already paid . So I got the hell out of that.

Now the other storage is paid through September 30th.
I'm focusing on my daughter now , because she's willing to budge.

I have a new plan.
If I can my daughter to purge , on her own.
Then I get to focus on my wife's stuff.
Her mom said that some of it is for passing down to my daughter, and when I suggested we sell it she was aghast, but when I said pass it to some of the other cousins? I could sense her wheels turning.

I didn't purge everything I own. I don't expect them to either, but let's be practical about it.
There's no need in hoarding stuff to give to someday if they don't want it?

Also I finished the scanning of the box where as long as I have digital copies I can let go of the originals. That's huge , for me. About 8 years of scanning papers and pictured in the bin.

I'm done for the day. Gonna take a bath and a warm nap.

Good Morning Everyone 🙂

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂

Hi Pain 🙂
I am a big fan of the "Tiny Home" movement.
Especially the ones on their own land where they grow gardens.
They are off the grid using solar panels and are completely self contained.
;D

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
Thank you 😉
Loved your long catching up post.
Happy you got your green cookies!
Sorting out and making so many small decisions is VERY tiring work.
So glad that that "tinkling" noise didn't throw you off course and everything went alright.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Hyacinths are my favorite bulb flower.
Now that they are planted out in the garden I spend a lot of time laying down in the dirt just to smell them.
Don't be hard on yourself about the state of your home.
Your Mom has been sick, you have been sick.
You have been dividing your time between the hospital, work and refereeing the cats.
Go do something FUN today.
Get out and play a little. ((((HUGS))))

Dark cloudy day here today.
Tomorrow, after he leaves for work, I need to clear away as much of his clutter from the base of the trees as I can possibly manage to move all by myself to make the tree cutters job's easier.
A rain storm is predicted for Tuesday and I hope that prediction changes and we can go ahead with downing those trees.
Today I need to do a bit of house cleaning.
Not too much to do but getting it done will prevent a bigger clean up job later.

TTYS 🙂

Good morning everyone! Good to catch up on your long posts. I'm pleased to see that despite some terrible news and events, everyone is still moving forward!

Hyacinths are my mother's favorites, Tillie. She used to plant a few bulbs by her bedroom window in the hope that a breeze would bring the scent into her room.

The cats are coping. I could do without the hissing and growling. Mom's cat sleeps by the foot of my bed and in the night my cat joined me up by my pillows.

Mom is doing better. Hopefully just one more week in nursing care before going home.

All I do here is dishes and laundry. I am unhappy with the state if my house. I'm sleeping too much too. And I'm not getting enough fun time in. If I work in even one of these things I'll feel better, I know.

Time to catch up.

Anony, so terribly sorry to hear about your friend's diagnosis. I think it still is good for her and you and all of us to do the healthy things because even though we don't know the outcome, it will give her more of a fighting chance, and you strength to be there for her. But I can certainly understand how upsetting this all must be. Before my hysterectomy there was an ovarian tumor and though it was not cancerous, that time of uncertainty was bad enough. You and she will be in my thoughts and prayers. <3

Pain,
Sorry about the lawnmower and the upset surrounding the thief. But good for you to recognize your anger was getting out of control and want to do better next time. I have anger management issues too and I know the struggle. It's not fun, the realization of letting it get the best of me, the remorse afterward and the concern about what that's doing to my health. But as I said, there is hope - I'm seeing some improvement; I've come a ways and am a work in progress hoping to be a much more serene person eventually.

I got aggravated at Walmart today because there are these salespeople for Direct TV that Walmart allows to be there, but instead of just staying at their table they're allowed to roam the store and bother customers. I had trouble with an overly persistent one and I let the management know about it; I was on the edge but hopefully I didn't totally open my can of crazy on them. I filled out the online survey from my receipt at home. By then I was calm, not tempted to cuss or anything, able to get my point across well. Not holding my breath it'll do a lot of good, but feeling that I did what I could.

Sorry too about your job uncertainty. The Uber and Lift sound like good supplementary options. Hope the main job gets more steady again or you're able to find an even better one.

I would love to have the link to that list of healthy habits. I do a fair number of those already and it sounds like a sensible, doable list. If you can post it, I'd be most grateful.

Tillie, you do so well blooming like a pink hyacinth amid the surroundings - I know it must be so difficult, but to have that ability to stay strong and not be completely overcome by the things you can't change - to me, that's a special kind of gift. It's your superpower, whether it feels like it or not.

As for me, well, I did predict an increasingly busy week and I was correct. My friend who was in the hospital went to rehab Friday; my visit just happened to time out perfectly for me to be able to help her get packed and see her off.

Before that I was at the doctor. He checked my surgical site, said it was doing fine, and gave me the advice I needed on exercising. So that felt great. I've lost 25-1/2 lbs. since last April - happy dance!

In the morning I had gotten to bake my St. Patrick's Day cookies. They are quite tasty. It's an oatmeal cookie mix from the Aldi store, to which I added raisins and green food coloring. If you try it, note that the amount of water the package says, 1 Tbsp., isn't enough in my opinion - I still had a lot of dry mix. So I added another Tbsp. or two and it worked out well. And you don't really have to shape them, I did them as drop cookies to save time.

So anyway, the week ended - Thursday night I was really grumpy from doing so much. I went to quilting but that was probably not a good idea. The night bunch of quilters are different from the daytimers - a lot more chattery, which would've been okay, but since I was already tired it was a bit overstimulating. Basically, I overdid it trying to cram one more activity in that day. Little frustrations after I got home were making me very cranky and gripey.

Earlier on Thursday I met the social worker at the storage, after morning running around. We got more accomplished, a trash bag about 2/3 full tossed. Filled some smaller bags with donations. But I forgot to take some of those because she stashed them behind the front seat and I didn't see them, so I had to make another stop on Friday.

While we were there, I could tell I was more tired, and a little ragged out. At one point I heard a "Clink" and went to see what it was, I was sort of freaking out. It was a small collection of cat figurines - turned out nothing broke - I had a mini-meltdown over all the feelings for a couple of minutes: first, anxiety over what made the clinking sound, then irritation, then guilt for feeling irritation, then anger at myself for caring too much about material things my entire life, and a bunch of other yuck. And not wanting to be angry at her because she has been so helpful. But I got through it and she was not offended and we got back on track pretty quickly.

I could tell that my tiredness was making me more easily flustered overall, and that "the feels" of the emotional level of decluttering were closer to the surface than they were the first go round. Yet despite all this, we did good work and the outcome was nice.

I also have realized that I need to make a solo run and find and locate fragile things and pack and label them myself for the transfer to the different storage location (more about that next paragraph). It will make me feel calmer, and it will prevent putting a "liability" burden on any helpers. I remember times in my life, going back to childhood, when I accidentally broke someone else's things and how horrible I felt - especially if they were nasty about it. Being proactive can prevent needless angst for everyone. I'm the one who knows what the breakable things, or the things that need to be padded or top loaded or kept from extreme temps, etc. are, and it's my responsibility to take care of those rather than go batcrap crazy when someone who isn't familiar with them, and who's been good enough to step up to the plate and help me, unknowingly does something "wrong" in handling them.

Some really good news - social worker has located at least one volunteer who will be able to help when it looks like we're ready to roll with a transition to a storage place closer to where I live. I don't know when this will be - but what a blessing to finally have the prospect of things coming together with all of that! 🙂

She's having surgery soon and that will be the perfect time to do the solo work, with spring days to do it in. So that's my plan.

Sorry for the long post; I guess I go into so much detail because it helps me mentally to remember what happened and process it. And because a lot did happen this week! 😉 Hope I wasn't too tedious.