| Tillie | Posted: 09 December 2016 - 09:56 AM |
Good morning everybody ๐ Great to read your posts on phase five! ๐ WAY TO GO!!! Everybody on every accomplishment, especially the little ones that really do add up and help make your homes the sanctuary of your dreams. | |
Replies (678)
| CriticalMass | Posted: 23 February 2017 - 12:14 PM |
Happy Thursday Tatoulia, I'm glad your mother is going to be okay. And that her kitty has you to take care of her while your mom is recuperating. Pain, I think throwing everything away is a way to vent frustration and like Tillie said, just do the mental exercise as to what life would be like. Then decide what to keep when in a calm frame of mind. I know calm is probably in short supply in your situation, but your determination is your driving force, so that's something to hang onto. Weather here yesterday was absolutely marvelous for February - in the upper 70s! And I had been feeling a bit draggy since last week I was all gung-ho to make some progress on my quilt but had set it down and not picked it up. Well, yesterday with the sun and all I felt so energized that I got a bunch done! I rough cut all my sashing strips and photographed my pieced blocks so I can do a mock-up of where they'll go in the quilt. They are from scraps so I must distribute them so there won't be two alike side by side or all the blue ones in one row, etc. Haven't heard from my social worker lady yet, but it's okay if I don't because wrapping up the month and transitioning into March, Ash Wednesday and Lent beginning, payday bill paying, and prep for our church Bingo with the quilts will keep me busy this week and next. If I haven't heard from her I'll call her after Bingo is over and maybe we can set up something. In any case I'll have gas in my tank after payday and can go out and do some work in the storage. The paper tossing I did the other day made me feel like a decluttering Ninja! I've decided to try doing a little recycling again. I have a friend who has a bin, and she usually welcomes extra. She lives in the direction of my current storage unit, sort of. I think I'm going to find enough papers and stuff to make it worth my while. It might even make me more willing to part with stuff that I waver on, if I know it's going to be recycled. From what I hear the weather this weekend is going to be cooler and wetter. I wouldn't mind but it bugs my sinuses and makes my teeth hurt. ๐ Overall, though, we've gotten so much warm weather this January and February that it may feel like an extended spring. That or we will end up having colder March-April-May, which has been known to happen here. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 23 February 2017 - 11:41 AM |
Tillie I'm glad you are getting snow, too--this unseasonably warm weather here, although lovely, is unsettling. I had a monkey wrench put in my day yesterday. My dear mother was taken to the hospital and us very ill. I'm at her house right now, keeping her cat company while I work. The cat is not used to being alone. I will head back over to hospital soon. She sounds better today but has a bit of a road ahead of her. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 23 February 2017 - 11:01 AM |
Good Morning Everybody ๐ Hi Tatoulia ๐ Hi Pain ๐ I had plans for today that involved driving to town. | |
| Pain | Posted: 22 February 2017 - 07:56 PM |
It was nice outside in February. So I picked up the yard. Spent time looking for all the yard equipment . Cut some of the tree back before spring leaves make it a harder to do task. Since I dont own the home . I only plant mulberry trees. So Ive kept the some seed packs in the freezer. Basically I chew some mulberry slightly and then spit the fruit into toilet paper that I prepared so it's a combination of tissue paper fiber and seeds about 1 inch thick. It always gives me starts. Very easy to get going and I three years I start to get fruit from it and shade. I can't imagine my life with a sail boat on the lake and fire pit in my yard. It's nice to get tomatoes and mulberries so easily . That was all from a an argument my wife and I had 15 years ago when she decided I spend too much on the boat. A boat I own in full. So to appease her I reasoned that if I could skip 150 meals a year. That would cover my costs. Well Im over weight so I practice fasting three days a week. So basically there's 313 skipped meals . Then if I grow 43 meals worth of food in a garden then that's 365. Skipped food money's. So I don't ever hear it from her anymore. NSQX2H | |
| Tatoulia. | Posted: 22 February 2017 - 10:42 AM |
Hello all. Tillie I think it's going to be in the 50s here today. I made it to work yesterday extra early and it felt good. Today I'm home and having a bit of trouble focusing due to so much chaos at work. But I'll persevere. Polished some silver. Have dishwasher ready to be run. I'll make something of my day. And then I'll report back. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 22 February 2017 - 09:51 AM |
Good Morning Hi Pain ๐ Woke up this morning to discover that last night's rain had turned to snow. | |
| Pain | Posted: 21 February 2017 - 07:36 PM |
Just doing the chores today that revolves around trash truck day. Fridge,trash can , bathrooms, mop the floors, In Rooms with the trash cans. Took a long bath after scrubbing toliets | |
| Tillie | Posted: 21 February 2017 - 11:02 AM |
Good Morning Everyone ๐ Hi Pain ๐ Rained all day yesterday. TTYS ๐ | |
| Pain | Posted: 20 February 2017 - 09:18 PM |
Feeling better today. I got through 1 large tub of paper today. I know it's just anxiety. Not good at working through it slowly like with CBT. I usually just stop . And avoid the triggers . Where I clear then clean my environments once a month. I fear if I don't then I allow things to accumulate in spaces . So to be clear. My struggle was to get the house clear and cleaned. But after I accomplished it . Instead of relaxing, I still feel a sense of anxiety about maintaining it. Maintaining all the common areas with bossing everyone around. When I vent I go too far. I know I make the mood. Of cleaning together a chore rather than a positive or a good time cleaning together. Like I'm forcing everyone to work as hard as I do. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 20 February 2017 - 10:52 AM |
Good Morning Everybody ๐ Hi Tatoulia ๐ Hi Pain ๐ Hi Anonymoniker ๐ Hi CriticalMass ๐ Hi again Tatoulia ๐ Raining pretty good this morning. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 20 February 2017 - 10:38 AM |
Arg--even further behind today than I was yesterday. I have an hour before picking up mom. I will change my sheets now as I did nothing last night other than shower. | |
| Pain | Posted: 19 February 2017 - 07:05 PM |
I had a moment of despair. I kept thinking about what you said earlier , I put it all back, I do need to purge, but no need to go complete minimalist. If I had to guess ,I was trying to have control over my situation even though I have very little Control. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 19 February 2017 - 06:36 PM |
Hey everyone! Good to hear your progress! I have done everything but stuff involving the house the last two days. I will shower now then change sheets and keep on shredding stuff. It's good to read everyone's progress! Tomorrow is a day off. I'll get mom out then relax. I'm trying to psych myself into going into office early in Tuesday/be at my desk by 7. That sounds impossible but I'm going to try. That's a full two hours before I usually arrive. Getting rid of stuff feels so good. I'm going to maybe help mom tomorrow with that too. We will see if she feels up to it. I don't like to press her where she's so old. | |
| Anonymoniker | Posted: 18 February 2017 - 08:27 PM |
CM, that is really funny you suggesting that particular saying, cuz its the saying his ex he keeps getting back with used a lot...ha ha | |
| CriticalMass | Posted: 18 February 2017 - 07:06 PM |
Everybody's keeping busy - good energy begets more good energy, looks like! Read back through posts - Pain - your planning strategies and progress in carrying them out continue to inspire. I like to plan yet with hoarding it hasn't always been clear how. I think it's a skill that improves with continued practice, though. I seem to be finding it easier. I didn't know there were YouTube videos on decluttering - but then, I don't go on YouTube really often. May have to check those out. I hope your living situation decision, and move if necessary, go(es) well. Tatoulia - I like that mantra "I loved it long enough"! My corollary is that if it's not just trash, I'll then bless someone else with it. I think FlyLady said that originally. We who hoard usually possess creative, innovative minds, therefore we almost always can think of uses for items, in fact we can probably think of many uses the original manufacturer never dreamed of! I love being creative, but it can lead me to hoarding. I either have to dial down the creative part of me when decluttering, or try to redirect it toward coming up with creative strategies for the work at hand. Like Pain's planning, for instance. Channel that energy in a different way. My beloved Don Aslett the clutter expert in one of his books points out the cost of storing something is usually worse than the cost of replacing it if it turns out we really did need it later. Anony - glad kitty is recuperating well. Glad too that your heart seems to be mending. Like you said, just do the next step, whether it's in decluttering or moving forward after the breakup. If he tries to draw you into his drama, just say "Not my circus, not my monkeys"! This morning I did some more on the Box 'O Papers and now there is only a much smaller bag, and I anticipate most of its contents will be recorded and shredded. I filled the ratty old box with sticks from the garden and put it in the dumpster. This afternoon my roommate and I went to do errands and stopped by the storage unit. But I didn't do much. I'd hoped to find a few things I decided to recycle, couldn't find them, grabbed a small sack of other things plus a box to throw away, and decided I'd just wait till I was by myself to do more. It has been a beautiful weather day and I didn't want to make her antsy waiting for me. I was a little disappointed but I'll catch up next time I'm out there. Overall things are going well. Hey, I've been thinking about Diane. Anyone hear from her lately on another thread? Hope she is well and happy. | |
| Anonymoniker | Posted: 18 February 2017 - 05:30 PM |
Pain, i am really impressed how well you have planned all this out & carried it through! You are amazing!!! ๐ | |
| Pain | Posted: 18 February 2017 - 02:48 PM |
I prompted everyone to have a closet purge day. Remove everything. I don't understand why it's so hard. I'm spending all day in my daughter and my storage. I'm going to start making the harder decisions. Another thing is I have a stack of papers 9 foot high. Lol . I plan to bring 1 tub a day home on Weekdays. It's a good plan. I called my go to guys on being ready to move. Moving check list. Hoard In storage already. Near by storage with capacity to hold Three helpers with three trucks to help move bed rooms. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 18 February 2017 - 01:43 PM |
Quick drive-by. Took day off, meaning didn't get together with family as usual. Slept late then got hair cut. Now thinking about my day Hello to everyone--keep up the good work! | |
| Tillie | Posted: 18 February 2017 - 11:41 AM |
Good Morning Everyone ๐ Hi Anonymoniker ๐ Hi Pain ๐ Hi CriticalMass ๐ Hi Tatoulia ๐ | |
| CriticalMass | Posted: 17 February 2017 - 07:36 PM |
Another Drive By I think the excitement about the storage help is making me motivated, plus I wanted to procrastinate on outdoor work (LOL!), so I opened the box of papers (bills mostly) that's been sitting for months and started going through it. I'd say I'm 1/3 to 1/2 of the way. Got a bag to give to my friend who recycles and a smaller bag of shredding, plus I shredded some. Need to empty the shredder bucket before I can do more. It also was like an endurance test, because there are lots of papers in the storage unit I'll be doing the same thing with eventually. I think I'll do fine! And if this plan works out to move the storage closer to where I live, I will be able to do it at a steady pace so it gets done but I don't burn out. I won't feel like I have to do a ton in a day or feel guilty about the gasoline to go back and forth. I can just do a small amount, then go back and do more. I'll do some in the meantime while I'm waiting to hear news, too, because that'll be that much less to fiddle with later. I feel good! ๐ ๐ ๐ | |
| Pain | Posted: 17 February 2017 - 05:50 PM |
My plan if I need to move tomorrow. Completed Active Active Wife's moving buddy is her brother in his truck. This way everyone can focus on their own bedroom space. And move in this guide. | |
| Pain | Posted: 17 February 2017 - 05:25 PM |
Landlord came today without notice demanding a tour. Basically they gave us a verbal 30 days if we didn't resign a lease. Daughter graduates by June 1st. So March,April,May. I told them I'm not making any decisions today. I told them they need to make any and all requests in writing. I hear her mother whispering to her and when I make a noise she makes Shh Shh Shh noises. I mean really ? Well it aromatherapy balls are in everyone else's court. I'll have to wait and see what the landlord wants to do. And what my wife wants to do after we find out. I don't like the idea of living in an efficiency apartment that I have throw away everything I have just to live there. Or live within a hoard. I refuse to share a bedroom with the wife. Hygiene being my issue. We've had separate rooms for ten years. My room is usually filled with tubs of clutter, but her room is filled with laundry and trash. Well, This was a lesson I learned last year watching YouTube videos about purging a hoard tips and tricks. The storage unit must have the capacity to swallow the entire hoard.- to avoid unstacking and restacking. I was lucky to buy small tubs when they where on sale. So the late items could put Into a single layer nothing overlaping. And photographed Into a easy to view slideshow. Once my living space was cleared and then cleaned. Our hoard is about 1/3 gone. | |
| Anonymoniker | Posted: 17 February 2017 - 12:58 PM |
Tatoulia, i got to thinking about my regrets of stuff tossed and realized, of the maybe 15 tons of crap that has gone to the dump, it was only maybe 20 items that i regretted! So, looking at it like that, that is not bad at all!!! ๐ | |
| Tillie | Posted: 17 February 2017 - 10:56 AM |
Good Morning Everyone ๐ Cold dark day here, no playing outside today. Anybody have plans for the weekend? ;D | |
| Tillie | Posted: 16 February 2017 - 07:32 PM |
Hey Peeps ๐ Wonderful to read all your posts! Hi Tatoulia ๐ Hi CriticalMass ๐ Hi Anonymoniker ๐ Hi Pain ๐ Horrible wind storm raged all day. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 16 February 2017 - 06:47 PM |
Cm I like your plan of giving your friend the full picture. Very smart idea. She needs to see the totality of the circumstances! Very pleased for you! Anony, I am happy you have a truck! And I'm impressed by your strength with the Ex. Some people like to be stringing a number of people along at one time. It feeds their ego, it keeps drama going, there's never a dull moment, etc. good show if strength. Yay on kitty doing better! Oooh I can't remember who said she sometimes feels regret when getting rid of stuff. I am lucky that I haven't experienced that. I know it's pure luck. I loved it long enough is my mantra. If it wasn't necessarily something I loved but something that could be useful, I don't sweat it. The fact that I could figure out a use for it today, now that it's gone, doesn't mean it's actually useful. Also, if say, mom needs something but I've gotten rid of that something, then so be it. I'm not a warehouse for others's future needs. I tell myself these things & im good with it. I'm happier with space. That said, I do expect that someday I'll regret shredding my diaries. But it needed to be done. And I'm still not finished but def closer to the end. Pain, we are all down at one point or another. It's impossible not to be. Keep your chin up! You are doing great! Hellooooo Tillie! | |
| Pain | Posted: 16 February 2017 - 03:53 PM |
Anyone want to hear how much pain I feel today. Yes. I'm big on knowing what the steps are to a goal. So many times I felt like the more I climbed the mountains of my life the more I got lost on them. Planning is the the only thing that get me started. If I don't keep on routine . Years can go by. | |
| Anonymoniker | Posted: 16 February 2017 - 12:39 PM |
CM, WOW!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU! THAT IS WONDERFUL! I know what you mean about lists! They are such an important part of moving forward for me. I have many lists for all kinds of things. Every night i have my list of the 3 things to complete the next day regarding improving my place. Having this rental truck is an amazing feeling! Its just me here doing it. It has a great stereo, so i can listen to music while loading it up with junk! No waiting to hopefully hear from some guy with a truck to show up! Each thing i pick up to put in it is like a lightening of part of the burden on my psyche! It is also such a reminder of how much control i really do have in my life! | |
| CriticalMass | Posted: 16 February 2017 - 11:20 AM |
Quick drive by So much to do that I'm still thinking of - my go-to thing is always "Make a List!". ๐ I'll list anything I think of that I've been wanting to get rid of or change. And what are some criteria for decision making. Yesterday I called the storage place closer to me and they're having a 1/2 off first month special. I'm wondering if I could squeak the money to do it. We'll see. When this social worker lady and I make our date to get together for our inspection of the storage, I'm also going to see if she would be willing to come see what I have here at my friend's house, and show her what's in the van as well, because it all needs to be taken into account in planning. Excited, can't wait to get started! | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 15 February 2017 - 09:39 PM |
HIP HIP HOORAY!! So very pleased, CM. You deserve this help and this second set of eyes and hands will do you the world of good. Congratulations! I'm so pleased. Sending out weather-prayers, Tillie. For the most part, I've learned to live with the regrets of wasted money. For the most part, buying this or that object meant something to me at the time, it allowed me to recapture a moment, let me recall a simpler time such as being a child visiting my grandparents. The stuff that really irked me was the multiple JustinCase stuff I got rid of a few years back--a habit I have totally broken. I don't Justin Case and I don't stockpile when something is a good price. I buy the one I need and leave the rest right where they are. I received a Tiffsny silver pen for grad school graduation some 25 years ago. Think I'll polish it up and consign it. Still have the Tiffany box and everything. Never used it and the person who gave it to me is neither here nor there in my life. | |