Thank you Tillie!!! Thank you so much.

I will say these words as I clean and clear. Just what I wanted only even better. THANK YOU. And hugs!

Oh dear all alone at 16 and making such a lovely dinner. Tillie I hope you know how much I appreciate your friendship and your ability to help us through our struggles. Thank you so much.

Too much stuff?! Who me?!

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
YEA!!!!! for driving again! 😀
WAY TO GO! Great thinking about sorting out the contents in large containers into smaller more manageable containers.
Good luck separating the trash from the treasures. ;D
Keep up the wonderful healing. (((hugs)))
Yeah, the prep and clean up of traditional turkey dinner is really too much hard thankless work.
When I was 16 and all on my own, I invited friends over and I made Cornish game hens stuffed with wild rice. It was really easy to make and tasted great.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Sorry about that leak, hope it's not too much of a booger to fix.
So, you have too much stuff? 😉
Do you have a vision of how you want your home to look?
Look around one room or area at a time.
What is there that is spoiling your vision?
Do you need, use or love it?
If not, try to be ruthless and make it leave the premises.
Is it something that belongs in an other area of the home?
If so, move it to where it should be, or at least as close as possible at this time.
Try not to allow fear to stop you.
Toss, donate or recycle anything that has seen better days or outlived it's usefulness.
Set up priorities as to what you will keep and what you will let go of.
Keep only the best, the most useful or the most beautiful and loved.
Don't keep something for Justin Case, he can go get his own elsewhere.
Don't keep something you don't need or want just because it cost money.
That money is spent and gone, no use fretting about it.
I can tell you from my own experience that cleaning is so much easier with fewer things to clean around.
When he had this house all hoarded up, cleaning became impossible and frustrating.
Is there a specific category of something giving you the most trouble?
Start working from one room/area and keep expanding the clean & tidy outward until are back to the place you started from.
Wish I could actually be there to help you (((HUGS)))

My pantry is all back to organized now.
Bitterly cold outside now with lots of big gray clouds.
🙂

Hi CM & Tillie!

Tillie I thought I had posted but apparently not. I now have all I need to get brother's turkey day done and I will start cooking tomorrow night. I think I'll make the turkey at his house Thursday AM. My dinner reservations are for 4:00.

CM! You are doing so much better! So pleased! Keep looking out for your health first.

Well I woke up today to learn that something in my apt was leaking into the downstairs apt. I was able to get a plumber over to fix--fingers crossed--not always easy to find source of leak. When I went into downstairs apt, it was perfectly neat and clean. Meanwhile I'm panicking about the state of my house. What can I do to make the final push of having not too much stuff. What can I do? What will best simplify my life?

Let me tell you my GIANT RELIEF that I had cleaned my bathroom not too long ago--still not up to most people standards but a big improvement

What can I do? All suggestions are encouraged. Don't sugar coat.

I need to do this on a room by room basis. I need one room finished then go on to next. Could start with bathroom. Oh look, I'm figuring this out.

Lots of posts and new posters since I was on this thread last. Great to read them all.

I am a big fan of the idea of pizza or some other simple thing for Thanksgiving! I have nothing against the traditional fare but it's all the prep and cleanup that just seem like so much work.

I don't know if one day, if I had my own place again, and it had a roomy kitchen, I might enjoy doing a company dinner. Hard to say. Being single without kids or nearby relatives, it'd probably be a gathering of friends - nothing wrong with that. I'd still want to simplify things, like maybe have a chicken instead of a turkey, or BBQ meat from the deli, and serve buffet or finger food style.

Not a fan of Black Friday, wouldn't be even if I did have the money to blow, which I don't.

I've been getting out and driving now. On Friday I was supposed to see the surgeon for follow-up and permission. Well, he had to do surgeries so his office appointments got cancelled. I asked the nurse if, should she hear from him, she could ask about the driving permission.

But no call came Friday, and I got in quite a depressed, grumpy funk about it. That evening, I decided to just sleep on it, and Saturday morning I decided to go ahead and drive anyway. Took my van over to my mechanic since it had sat for so long. It's running fine after a few false starts (piece of crud in the fuel filter that finally got out of the way). Yesterday I did get the call from the nurse that the doctor had OK'd driving.

I took some clothing to the regular thrift shop, and I also visited their bookstore shop. I was looking for a new copy of one of my decluttering books to replace because the current one had water spilled on it and is moldy. Didn't find the book I was looking for but found 3 others, 2 of which I've been looking for. I have bought a few items since I've been getting out on my own, I'll admit, but I'm reining it in and aware I mustn't go crazy. And I'm sure I'll find some more things to get rid of to balance it out.

My brainstorming now needs to focus on how I'll still get my decluttering done with my medical condition to work around (no heavy lifting). If only my finances permitted me to hire help! It could be a breeze. But no matter. I've thought of one strategy, the "basket method." It involves having a basket that won't hold more than I should lift, and just taking items from larger containers and putting them into the basket, dealing with them, rinse and repeat until the container is emptied or repacked neatly or divided into smaller units, whatever needs to be done.

In general, I hope to have fewer large containers since smaller ones are easier to handle. To only have large containers for large items. A great big container full of hundreds of small items is way more prone to becoming a discouraging mess, and it conceals so much - often a lot of stuff that could just be tossed.

So that's the plan, it's just going to take quite a lot of time. And at some point I'm going to have to have minions - there will be things to be lifted, etc. But in the meantime no excuses to grind to a halt just because I can't do the big stuff in a hurry.

Hello?

Not expecting more rain till after midnight so I'm doing some laundry today.
Need to straighten out the pantry.
Neighbor friends have given me so much stuff from their downsizing move and I have just stuck stuff in there to get it out of the way while I was helping them pack up.
Stuck lots of items in the pump house too, so will need to sort that out someday soon.
It's all stuff I need and will be using.
Already used the little hand mixer yesterday while making the bread.
Already using the big water bottles on the water cooler dispenser, they gave me the dispenser too.
Already watered the philodendrons they gave me.
Already used some lamp oil in my kerosene lamps.
Problem is that having and seeing and using these items is a constant reminder that my friends are gone.
I am so lonely 🙁

Good Morning Everyone 🙂

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Hope your grocery trip went well.
Even a small turkey is difficult to carry very far. 🙂

Woke up about 5am again this morning but laying there listening to the soft pitter patter of the rain lulled me back to sleep for another hour.
Yea! 😉
Not going to do any laundry today.
All my mending and altering is finished.
Today I plan to make 4 loaves of banana/nut/craisins bread to freeze and munch on through the Winter.
Clean the kitchen, wash my hair and watch the latest episode of "the Walking Dead".

So, what are you up to today? 🙂

Good morning, dear Tillie.

I am having the opposite problem, waking up closer to 11. I know the feeling of not getting enough sleep and I hope you can catch up at some point. Everything is harder when you haven't slept enough. Sending you giant hugs.

Just finished my coffee and going to go to grocery store to get mom a few things and maybe find turkey for brother. I'll be walking so have to carefully weigh what I buy. My car is parked six blocks from my house anyway, so even driving doesn't make much sense. Plus I like walking around.

Did a load of laundry while having my coffee. Will go hang and get to store.

What are you doing today?? Would love even a quick drive-by.

Good Morning 🙂

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
(((hugs)))

Woke up at 5am again 🙁
Wish I could sleep longer so I wouldn't get so sleepy in the afternoon.
Yesterday I did a bit of cooking and then did some sewing.
Today I plan to continue sewing and eat some of what I cooked. 🙂

TTFN 🙂

Angel--so glad it went well with your Mom! Congratulations to you both! What a nice memory to build on!

Joan--I drink so much water it would probably shock you. I easily drink one 16 oz bottle on way to work (15 minute endeavor), refill it at least 3 times at office (more like 4 or 5) and then drink a minimum of 2 liters every night once home. Although I spend 1/2 my life in the bathroom, you should see my skin! I was like this as a kid, before bottled water, and my mom would keep a large thermos of koolaid in the car for me. Just a trip home from music lessons couldn't be done without my crying I'm so thirsty. No health issues either--just a gal
Who loves her water.

Anony, that is surprising that your ex is back! I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. I seem to remember he likes a lot of together time--be sure to carve out some time for yourself, too.

Tillie, last year I put my foot down (and kept it down) and we ate out for Thanksgiving. We are doing the same thing this year. Mom, BF & maybe a friend. Brother does not join us. I will still make him turkey, stuffing & two sides but much easier to do when not cleaning and setting a table, etc. it's more of a Thanksgiving on wheels endeavor for me. Pizza & rootbeer is another fantastic solution!

Thank you all for your support. I need it and it is helpful.

If I've left anyone out, please forgive me. Unintentional. You are each important to me.

Good Morning Everyone 🙂

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
Yes, isn't it wonderful that we can make the computer screen zoom in! ;D

Just about 6am here, been up since 5am.
Planning on doing some sewing/altering/mending today.
Anybody making plans for thanksgiving?
For over forty years I have done the turkey, stuffing, gravy and all the side dishes.
Several years ago I quit.
I see no reason why I should spend days slaving over a hot stove preparing a meal that I do not particularly enjoy eating.
The only way I like eating turkey is to shred it and make it into enchiladas.
This Thursday I plan to have a thin crust pepperoni, mushroom and black olive pizza with root beer. ;P

Hi all! ~♡~
Tatoulia, im so sorry about your difficult family member. I love your statement about living THROUGH it! Good point!
Tillie, im sorry your skunk is back. I sent a 3d one to Skunk Heaven. Id blocked his entrance under the sink, so until he found another way in, he was chewing & making all kinds of noise in the walls & ceiling. Pictures were bobbing up & down from him chewing the hangers from in the wall. It kept keeping me awake, plus they came out 3 hours before dark to get the cat food before i put it up. Its so peaceful now.
Joan, i still make a dish from my Buddhist Monastery lunch 30 years ago! Im glad youre feeling better!
Angel, im so sorry your Mom has harsh judgments about your house. I know how hard that can be.
My soulmate & i got back together. I was so sure he left me partly cuz of my disgusting mess i call my home, but he swears it had nothing to do with it. He even told me about previous relationships with women just as bad as me. Im hoping that will help me move forward better, since i hate myself less now!
Sorry for such a long post. I was trying to catch up on reading yall's first & my eyes couldnt handle it, then i realizedi could expand the screen...(duh)...WOW! What a difference! ha ha 😀 ~♡~

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Hi Joan 🙂
Glad you had a nice peaceful weekend. 🙂

Hi Angel Peterson 🙂
Happy your time with your mother went so well 🙂

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
A warm snuggly cat can make all the difference in the world. (((hug)))
Woke up this morning being snuggled on both sides and when I petted them they both started purring. 😀
Hope your Saturday shopping goes smoothly.
WAY TO GO! for keeping up with things while you wait for time and motivation to do more. 🙂

Yesterday's shopping was a breeze, hardly anybody was out, even at the bank.
Decided to check out the thrift shops since it was so quiet in town.
Most times I leave without finding anything to purchase but at the three shops I found just what I wanted.
I can't afford to buy "new" at regular stores so anything I need comes from the charity thrift shops.
Got a beautiful Summertime dress for a dollar!
A teal blue blouse that I just love everything about it.
A very pretty silk blouse for free that I plan to alter a bit.
A large Salt City candle, I'm always burning candles.
And some round amethyst stone beads.
Now I can toss some clothes that have seen better days.
Always "one in, One out" to keep things under control.
I really needed this last outing to help with my mood, so happy to get the things that I need, use and love.
Helping my neighbor friends downsize and move has really burned me out, not to mention how depressed I am that they moved. 🙁
But I am happy for them that they are now living their dream of living in their RV, traveling all around the country, going where ever the wind blows them. 🙂

Stinky (the skunk) is back.
My outdoor feral cats will have to eat their kibble before sundown when I will have to take the bowls inside to discourage Stinky from stopping by regularly.

TTYS 🙂

Water is very important. I have to make an effort to get enough. I buy 6-packs of mineral water ("fizz water") in liters, and try to drink one liter at least every day or two.

I had a good weekend. An old friend cooked for me when I went to visit him, and took me out to some beautiful local sights. The best one was a Buddhist temple. Very peaceful.

So supper ended up being just pie and tea, and it was perfect. So nice. Mom even complimented me and didn't go looking through my drawers or other rooms. She was content to be in the living room and kitchen. It was so nice and made home feel that much more homey to have her over. We looked through photo albums from when I was growing up. Got the kids to wash their dishes afterwards. It was so much better than I thought it would be. Either she's changing, or I'm getting better than I thought, or both. Said it smells nice :).

Tatoulia, sorry you've got people being abusive towards you. You are worth more than that.

Tillie I hope your shopping trip went well & wasn't too crowded.

I made a nice supper for my kids and I'll be getting them to clean the kitchen once done. Not always easy to get their help, but it's improving.

I slipped a bit I think. I went to buy a cast iron frying pan and also bought 5 books on organizing in the process. I rationalized it by telling myself that if I want to help people, it'll be best if I familiarize myself with other ideas than just my own and will help me in my next phase as well. So maybe it's ok. I'm not sure yet. Felt a little like slipping back because maybe one book would have been adequate.

20 degrees? Brrr! I'd want to stay in bed all day and read, Tillie!

I am trying to keep my chin up. Trying not to be so stressed. I am drinking lots of water and boy it is so helpful. Nothing is quite as delicious.

Doing what I can to keep house OK til I have another cleaning burst. Hopefully on Sunday. I do need livelier music but this past weekend only wanted gentle sounds.

Cat is sleeping in front of me and I'm just so enthralled with her. Such a dear soul. A lot like you, Tillie.

Take care everyone. I too hate crowds but must take brother grocery shopping on Saturday. I'll buy Thanksgiving stuff at same time or go later in the day for myself.

Good Morning 🙂

Hi Angel Peterson 🙂
Hope your dinner went well. 🙂

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Hope things are looking up for you (((hugs)))
Remember self care comes first and without it you will only feel worse.
Eat properly, drink enough water and try as best you can to get as much sleep as you need.
Be kind and gentle to yourself.
WAY TO GO!!! for keeping up with laundry and paper shredding! 😀

Thinking about maybe going to the grocery store today, we'll see about that.
A whole 20 degrees outside this morning. :0
But I want to have enough food in the house so that I do not have to go to the store again until well after "black Friday".
Hate, hate, hate the big unruly crowds.
Guess I will get all ready to go and that may motivate me to just do it. ;P

TTFN 🙂

Hi Angel, glad you are finding it comfortable here! Good luck with dinner. I always thought I'd enjoy having Martha Stewart for a mom but clearly I hadn't thought through the disapproval aspect! I hope your dinner goes well.

Thank you Tillie. Giant hugs back!!

Thank you all for such a nice welcome. What a lovable group 🙂

I invited my mom over for supper tonight. It still gives me anxiety though I know that for myself, the best way to overcome anxiety is by taking action & making progress.

I invited her because I wanted to have her over to my house and as extra motivation on getting everything cleaned up. The tough part is that if things aren't perfect, she lets me know in an "I am disappointed in you" type way. I know she loves me though and I know that perfection isn't the goal. I've come so very far. There was a time I would not have her come close to my house. She's Martha Stewart type clean and organized.

Still lots to do though so I am off!

Tatoulia 🙂

(((HUG)))

What a nice post, Tillie. Even simple acts sound so poetic when described by you!

I am under a lot of stress-can only blame myself and my guilt-complex, which puts everyone's well-being and needs before my own. Am living through a terrible time but it is important to emphasize I am living through it.

Good to get some updates from people! Keep writing in! For all of you with health issues I wish you continued smooth recoveries. Now is not the time to overdo!

I am working from home today and getting some laundry done and a little paper shredding. I trying to manage my stress, Family and financial. Being abused financially and emotionally and mentally by someone and it is difficult.

Will write more later. Thx all for being here. Good to read your posts.

Good Morning Anybody 🙂

Yesterday I ended up going through all my linens.
Sorted out all the sheets, pillow cases, towels and washcloths, table cloths and kitchen linens that had seen better days.
Any that were frayed, had holes or were just worn too thin any more were bagged up.
It was hard because the worn out ones got worn out because they were my favorites and I used them all the time.
Then I sorted out my fabric stash and found a few pieces there that are nice but nothing I will honestly ever use.
Refolded everything I am keeping and put it back neatly on the shelves and in the drawer where it belongs.
Ended up with two medium sized plastic bags of castoffs that are now in the car and will be donated to the local no-kill animal shelter.
This is where I always give my unwanted linens, rugs, blankets & anything made of fabric.
Also any toys or cat items that we're not using.
Winters here get very cold and wet and the animals appreciate having warm dry beds to sleep in.
A win win situation all around! 😀

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

The weather is changing.
In the 30s this morning and tomorrow and the rest of this week are predicted to be windy, rainy, drizzly, overcast and more like normal.
Did two loads of laundry and got them hung out to dry since this may be the last chance for a while and I hate having laundry pile up.
Have no plans for today, trying to think of something to do with my time.
I could go to the bank and get some cash since I've run out of it.
Could stop by the shops and browse for stuff I do not need.
Could veg out and watch Netflix all day.
But honestly none of those choices sound appealing to me at all.
Maybe I will sew. Have the patterns and fabric for a couple of different things.

TTYL 🙂

OH POOH!
Double posted >:(

HI Tess! 😀
SO happy you will be able to decorate for the holidays.
WAY TO GO!!!
Hope your plans for today went smoothly. 🙂

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
Great to hear you are recuperating so well! (((hugs)))
Keeping fingers crossed that you get to drive by Friday 😀
Still lovely weather here too, so unusually warm for this time of year, but I won't complain.

Sorry for the double post *blushes* I think I really do need that nap today! The second load of laundry can either be done this evening or another day.

Hi everybody,

Welcome to Angel - so you wrote a book - well, I feel embarrassed, I guess I misunderstood. I thought you were asking which book to pick to read so I went and made a list of my favorites on your other thread! Oh well, maybe someone else will like the list. I'll go back and make another post on your thread explaining. My apologies!

Hello Tess, good to have you too.

Anonymoniker, Dave, anyone I may have missed - hi and Happy November to you.

Last week was a disjointed week with the election and stuff (don't worry, I hate to debate politics so I ain't even going there!). I had my own events and appointments, and I have come to realize something else I dislike about having to rely on others to drive me places: I have lived in this city for my entire life, and at one time or another have learned it pretty well, and I drive intuitively using mainly landmarks. I also have certain alternate side street routes I take due to my agoraphobia causing me not to want to take highways or high-traffic left turns.

There are only a few areas that I rarely or never go, or newly built up areas I'm unfamiliar with. But it isn't that way with everyone, I've found. Some people only drive to the places they frequently go, apparently, and are unfamiliar with much of the rest of town. And since we all process information differently (sense of direction, what lane to get in, etc.) giving instructions is often awkward. I'm thankful I've found willing drivers - for awhile I thought I might be stranded - but I will be SO glad to be driving myself again. I'm banking on it being this Friday at my doctor appointment. Hope I'm correct about that!

I will need to take it slowly, both due to my physical condition and my psychological state. The other night, I had a panic attack as a passenger when the light changed and we had to wait out another round, with cars whizzing by on all sides. And it felt different in quality - like part of it was from not having gotten out much for several weeks. I'll have to take that into account. It was sort of a blessing in disguise, though, because it shows me how I should proceed. I'm sure I'll do okay if I take my time and don't bite off more than I can chew at first. Especially with traffic increasing as we approach the holidays.

Still decluttering, a bit piecemeal but getting some done. My flexibility has returned - bending over and walking at a regular pace are much easier. Apparently the abdominal swelling is pretty much gone. Of course, I'll be cautious, but it's becoming easier to pick up things and that helps with clearing clutter from the floor. Paper sorting continues, and today I'm doing one load of laundry right now. I may do another after lunch, or I may wait and take a nap instead. I think the time change has thrown off my sleep rhythm - I crave another nap!

Also been getting ready to do more sewing. Things like cutting off the bottom edge of jeans that are too long and pinning a new hem. Hope to have a sewing day this week. I hope I can get all the clean clothes and repaired clothes in my closet. If not, may have to see what I can cull.

It's still mild fall weather here now, but it's supposed to turn colder - guess what day - Friday! The day I may get to drive! Here I was picturing myself going around in the sunshine looking at the beautiful leaves, and it may turn out to be a dreary, chilling day. Still, that won't stop me - I want my freedom!

Hi everybody,

Welcome to Angel - so you wrote a book - well, I feel embarrassed, I guess I misunderstood. I thought you were asking which book to pick to read so I went and made a list of my favorites on your other thread! Oh well, maybe someone else will like the list. I'll go back and make another post on your thread explaining. My apologies!

Hello Tess, good to have you too.

Anonymoniker, Dave, anyone I may have missed - hi and Happy November to you.

Last week was a disjointed week with the election and stuff (don't worry, I hate to debate politics so I ain't even going there!). I had my own events and appointments, and I have come to realize something else I dislike about having to rely on others to drive me places: I have lived in this city for my entire life, and at one time or another have learned it pretty well, and I drive intuitively using mainly landmarks. I also have certain alternate side street routes I take due to my agoraphobia causing me not to want to take highways or high-traffic left turns.

There are only a few areas that I rarely or never go, or newly built up areas I'm unfamiliar with. But it isn't that way with everyone, I've found. Some people only drive to the places they frequently go, apparently, and are unfamiliar with much of the rest of town. And since we all process information differently (sense of direction, what lane to get in, etc.) giving instructions is often awkward. I'm thankful I've found willing drivers - for awhile I thought I might be stranded - but I will be SO glad to be driving myself again. I'm banking on it being this Friday at my doctor appointment. Hope I'm correct about that!

I will need to take it slowly, both due to my physical condition and my psychological state. The other night, I had a panic attack as a passenger when the light changed and we had to wait out another round, with cars whizzing by on all sides. And it felt different in quality - like part of it was from not having gotten out much for several weeks. I'll have to take that into account. It was sort of a blessing in disguise, though, because it shows me how I should proceed. I'm sure I'll do okay if I take my time and don't bite off more than I can chew at first. Especially with traffic increasing as we approach the holidays.

Still decluttering, a bit piecemeal but getting some done. My flexibility has returned - bending over and walking at a regular pace are much easier. Apparently the abdominal swelling is pretty much gone. Of course, I'll be cautious, but it's becoming easier to pick up things and that helps with clearing clutter from the floor. Paper sorting continues, and today I'm doing one load of laundry right now. I may do another after lunch, or I may wait and take a nap instead. I think the time change has thrown off my sleep rhythm - I crave another nap!

Also been getting ready to do more sewing. Things like cutting off the bottom edge of jeans that are too long and pinning a new hem. Hope to have a sewing day this week. I hope I can get all the clean clothes and repaired clothes in my closet. If not, may have to see what I can cull.

It's still mild fall weather here now, but it's supposed to turn colder - guess what day - Friday! The day I may get to drive! Here I was picturing myself going around in the sunshine looking at the beautiful leaves, and it may turn out to be a dreary, chilling day. Still, that won't stop me - I want my freedom!

Hi everybody! I can't even remember the last time I posted here. I'm glad to see so many of you are still doing super well.

I have to do a bit of catch up. Things aren't as bad as they were before my big clean (not even close) but I have fallen behind. I need to get myself back on a good schedule and everything will be fine. I'm looking forward to having Christmas decorations up this year. I actually have room for them!!!

Today I plan to:
-Pick up in my bedroom
-Put away groceries that have been sitting on my table for days
-Clean cat liter and food area
-Hang living room curtains
-wash a load of laundry
-Sweep the floors

Wishing you all a productive Monday!

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Hello Angel Peterson 🙂
Welcome.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Thank You (((HUGS)))
What a lucky Kitty! Having an electric mattress cover! 😀
My kitties have an electric throw blanket and an electric radiator to fight over. ;D
Nope, I find that the music must have a faster more upbeat tempo than Cat Stevens and other soft music to get me moving fast enough through the usual general house cleaning work.
I miss all our regular people too. 🙁

Since today is Monday I will do the usual cleaning.
Bathroom, floors, dust etc.
My music line up for today will be...
Ozzy Osbourne, No More Tears
Lynard Skynyrd, Live
Santana, Abraxas
Then after I'm finished I plan to watch last night's episode of "The Walking Dead" as a reward for cleaning the house when I really, really do not want to do that. ;D

Later 🙂

Well Tillie I played some gentle music like Cat Stevens and didn't get much done around the house. But I did put electric mattress cover on so kitty's nap would be extra toasty.

Okay, I'm thinking about Diane & Roxie & LR & CM & Bitsy & Anony. I don't care what your house looks like, I care about you.