Hi Roxie! Medical appts are draining, aren't they? Thank you for your recent post urging us to get proper screenings. I put off my colonoscopy for a full year after turning 50. I just finally ran out of excuses.

Will be making a cup of tea soon.

Hi, all. I'm just stopping by for a cup of coffee. Not much to report except a lot of upcoming appointments for tests (MRI, bone density, etc.).

Reading with interest and concern all your entries. Love, all

Hello everyone! Poor Twinkles. Poor little thing.

Jess, Good job! You are an inspiration! LR I understood what you meant--please don't doubt yourself! We are all familiar with and beneficiaries of your unending compassion. My brother is very disabled, physically and mentally and emotionally and despite that, he can still be manipulative. I think we all have a little of that in us, and it's good to commiserate and get a little laugh out of our situations. Trust me, when I had a surgical procedure last week (went well) I milked it a little just to avoid having to take care of other people.

BIG NEWS! A family friend is visiting from overseas and we are having dinner Thursday night. She said she'd meet me at my apt (she has never seen it) and instead of making up an excuse, I said, sounds good, here's my address. I figure I have six hours of cleaning to do (no idea where that # comes from). at least my bedroom is up to date/clean and clutter free. I will be busy tonight and tomorrow and the next day, but I can do it! No more making excuses, the time to clean is NOW!

I also have been having some dental work, Jess. (And Twinkles). Had a painful tooth a few weeks back and needed a root canal. That is all finished as of tonight. I wouldn't wish tooth pain on my worst enemy.

Tillie, keep your chin up! You are a fabulous caretaker of dear Twinkles. And us. And everyone else.

Hi Jess 🙂

WAY TO GO!!! 😀
Making GREAT progress there.
Hope your dental work is doing well and not giving you any grief. (((hugs)))

Hoping I can spend the day at home today.
Lots of little things have been being neglected here.
Twinkles is recovering as expected. Poor baby.
But I have syringes filled with pain medicine that I am to give him orally two times a day, so he can sleep through the next three days.

TTYL 🙂

Thank you for the encouragement everyone 🙂 Feeling a bit better today. I had some dental work yesterday and handled it pretty well. Today I've got a therapy appointment.

I've managed to vacuum the bedrooms and around the hardwood areas. Need to mop/scrub still but I'm happy I started it. Did my morning routine and stripped the beds instead of making them because it's that time of the week.

Cleaned one bathroom, restocked the other.

One foot in front of the other.

Good Evening 🙂

Been a very busy day.
Twinkles is home from the Veterinary hospital and is recovering nicely.
Stoned out of his gourd with medications and sleeping it off under the bed.
Did a lot of other things today too but nothing fun.
Honeysuckle is blooming now. 🙂
Looking forward to bedtime.

I understand what you are saying LR2014.
Same here, I would never doubt someone's claims and wish I were always believed too.

As a follow-up to my last post, I just want to be clear about something. I find it very frustrating and discouraging when I am feeling weak, exhausted, and just generally awful physically, and then somebody (especially some family member) implies that I'm exaggerating how badly I feel. (Not saying that that happens often, but it definitely is within my realm of experience.) I never want to downplay another human being's pain, exhaustion, or illness. The situation I described in my post below was a specific one. This very elderly family member would make a big show of feeling bad in front of the therapist, and then seconds (and I do mean seconds) after the therapist gave up and left, the elderly family member would suddenly be all smiles and would offer to jump into the car with me (which at his advanced age was no easy task) in order to run errands with me. What amazing recovery!! (Uh, huh. Right.) Sometimes he truly was tired or in pain when a therapist arrived, but there were times when he clearly was trying to put on a show to get the therapist out the door faster. 🙁

I wrote this post because I know that there are many people on this site with significant illnesses. I also know that many of us suffer from what I call "invisible" illnesses, such as fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. Sometimes, people with such illnesses are not believed and are treated as if they are exaggerating their problems. Worse still is when they are treated as if they are imagining their problems...as if the problems are all in their heads. I do not ever want to be or to even remotely sound like I am insensitive to the real physical struggles that so many of us here on this board have. Ever.

Lots of hugs to all.

Roxie, Tillie, Jess and LR --GREAT to hear from you all! And thank you for the encouragement.

Tillie, I do think kitty at will be okay. Boyfriend's cat had teeth pulled a few years ago. We fed him cream cheese when he got home and some chopped up turkey, just so he could eat soft things. He was definitely nit himself a day or two after the surgery but then he seemed like a kitten again, it's scary and upsetting but ultimately Twinkles will feel better.

Jess, please don't feel even a minute of guilt--we all suffer and have difficult times and this is the place to be. I sometimes feel guilty when I'm being negative, then I feel guilty when I feel too happy. Ridiculous, let's treat ourselves better than that! Read ing your insight into your struggles helps me to look at my own in a different light. Thank you for that,

Roxie's! Great day at Walmart yesterday! I bet it felt wonderful to be out and about, Thank you for reminding me to use the gratitude list. I trust your intuition and will give it a shot.

LR I am always so happy when you have posted. You are a dear friend.

Have to shower and get ready for dinner now. Will post again later,

Hi Roxie 🙂
WAY TO GO!!! for finding a cart and getting some shopping done! 😀
Yes, after all that exercise, you needed to sleep in and rest up today. (((hugs)))
So happy to hear that you felt up to an hour of shopping! GREAT Progress.
An hour in Walmart exhausts me and when I get back home all I want to do is rest up.

I slept very late today, but I guess I needed it. Yesterday we went out to breakfast/lunch and then I had bro drop me off at Walmart. Finally found an electric cart and went shopping! After an hour, I knew it was time to check out even if I didn't get all I wanted. But it went well! Yeah! Big day for me.

Jess, you seem to be getting clearer about the OCD and you certainly can express yourself well here.

Good Morning! 🙂

Lets all take some time today to stop and smell the roses. 😉

Had a few bad days emotionally. Not really feeling up to posting but I figured I should do it anyway.

I've done my morning routine and I want to take the dog out for a hike. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if our usual spot is open today so I may have to take him out on a leash. It won't be as good for him as a nice long off leash run and it will be a bit of a hassle for me but it's better than nothing I suppose. Those are my rational thoughts on the matter, while my OCD is making my head spin. Trying to ignore that.

After the dog outing I need to do a bunch of stuff. So I'm going to run errands that are top priority and choose ONE cleaning task to do and break it into small steps. I'd rather crawl back into bed to be honest. Also to be honest, if my wonderful husband wouldn't be working all day on a Sunday to come home to me as a lump in bed I probably would. Trying to avoid that cycle of guilt and shame.

Sorry if this post is a bummer, I'm just trying to post honestly instead of only coming on here when I'm all positive. I'm fine, just having some trouble dismissing my OCD lately. It's cyclical for me, I've noticed, depending on hormonal swings. Just gotta push through.

Hang in there everybody, thinking of you all!

The visiting medical personnel want you to do more, Tillie??? If that weren't so frustrating, it would almost be laughable. How much more can you possibly do than what you already do, day in and day out???

Glad to hear that you actually got away from home for a few hours . . . just you (and the vehicle). You've deserved that opportunity (one that so many of us just take for granted) for soooo long! Whoo-hooo!

I had to laugh inwardly about how your s.o. behaves around the therapists. I saw that scenario many times with one of my loved ones a number of years ago, especially around one particular therapist. Admittedly, I myself would not have wanted to have experienced the therapy techniques she used with him. Well, he would sometimes put on a big, big show of being exhausted and of feeling bad when she'd show up. Oh, no, he just didn't "feel up to" the therapy today! Finally, she would give up on the day's therapy and would leave. It was amazing how much energy he'd suddenly get once she walked out the door! I felt angry about it at the time, but it kind of amuses me as I look back on it years later.

Good Morning Everybody! 🙂

TTYL 😀

Good morning, Tillie and Roxie! I am working on being kinder to my self. I'd feel better if I'd just do something. I will be taking my family out soon and so will take ten minutes to do something before I go. Thank you for the help and encouragement. I don't like the idea of being negative here and need to remind myself that we all go through ups and downs. I am coming up on my year anniversary here and look how far we've all come in the past year!

Tillie I am so sorry about your situation right now, It is very hard being the "well one". It's like you're not able to feel overwhelmed or angry or resentful because you are well and the other person is not. Growing up with a sick brother, I was expected to be in charge and to do everything because I am not the sick one. Forty years later, and it's no different. You are entitled to put your foot down, you are entitled to say you can't./won't/shouldn't have to do everything. It's easier said than done, but stay firm where you can. Keep those car keys,

Roxie, thank you for your insight and wisdom. I hope today treats you well.

Thank you all for your support. You are important to me. If I could head out and help you, I'd be there in an instant. Til then, I am standing by your side in spirit.

Happy May 1st. 🙂

Everybody, try to enjoy some Springtime today. 🙂

Just started a pot of coffee, and I am sitting here huffing and puffing. Today I need to return phone calls and pay some bills. At some point I need to tackle the nest I've created in my bedroom. You can take the hoarder out of the house but you can't.... hehe.

Tatoulia 🙂
(((HUGS)))

Make a plan. Write a To-Do list.
Tackle a task for 10 minutes.
Whatever works best for you right now.

Decluttering, cleaning and change of any kind all begin with thinking.
Right now you are thinking about how much you don't like your surroundings and are thinking about plans and ways to change it.
WAY TO GO!!! 🙂

CLEAN unfolded laundry not ocean. I'm just so disgusted with myself tonight. I hate the frustration I am feeling and I don't like myself a whole lot right now. Please know that I care about you all, I'm just distracted by my self loathing this minute.

Hello. I'm feeling like my house is unlivable with the clutter creep. Am keeping bedroom the best right now and other than the occasional pile of ocean, unfolded laundry, I've done a good job keeping up with the bedroom. I need to do something about the living room. It is not livable. There is too much clutter and too many papers and bits of papers from the shredder, etc.

Really upsetting that I've let the clutter collect. I will not beat myself up any more today, and I will think of a plan and make a list of some individual tasks to do.

HaHaHa Karl 😀
As always, he was suspect number one,
but upon further investigation I was quickly able to eliminate him from the suspect line up. 😀

Hi LR2014 🙂
Hoping that you have been able to get some of that creeping clutter corralled so it doesn't come get you while you sleep. 😉

The drive home from Reno was upsetting/traumatizing.
Someone hit one of the horses on the highway. 🙁
There are signs posted warning people that there are horses and cows living free out on the range.
The landscape is open with nothing larger than sage brush blocking the view for miles.
People are supposed to watch for them near the road and slow down, even stop if necessary.
The very first funeral I ever attended was when I was a young teenager, for a dear friend of mine who hit a horse with his car.

Today I need to find inner peace with the world.
Replace the images with beauty and hope.
I will watch the birds play in my garden. 🙂

(((hugs)))

Tillie, given your man's unhygienic past, I was a little worried that he was going to turn out to be the culprit. I'm relieved to hear it was one of the cats instead.

Tatoulia, I am just getting caught up a little bit on posts, and I noticed this line in one of yours: "So what I did buy were pieces to decorate my cleaned out home and to bring it to the next level." Ah, ".to bring it to the next level." I like that thought and that phrasing. Upgrading! Sounds great! Hope your procedure goes well this week. Hugs.

Tillie, I am greatly reassured that in this challenging situation, you have not resorted to spraying! You're too funny! : )

I have a creeping clutter problem near where I sleep that needs to be attacked today. I plan to spend at least 30 minutes working on that today.

Hugs to everyone. Looking forward to catching up on more posts later.

Good Morning 🙂

Have some time this morning to get things tidied up around the house before I leave for Reno at noon.
His back seat driving has gotten a lot better since there have been a few incidents where if I had followed the orders he was screaming at me we would have been instantly killed.
Now that he's finally shut up a bit, the driving is a lot more peaceful.
Finally figured out who is peeing on the bathroom rug and why she's doing it.
She's my most feral cat and is marking her turf against the constant intrusion of the invading humans.
She is not happy with the home nurse and physical therapist visiting her home 3 times a week.
Neither am I but I have not resorted to spraying,
Yet 😉

I thought I posted something a few days ago, but I don't see it. (Must have dreamed it.)

Happy belated birthday, Roxie!!

I noticed yesterday that we've passed the 5 million hits mark! Whoo-hoo!

More later. Hugs to all.

Roxie, happy belated birthday! And to answer your question the puppy is a German Shorthaired Pointer 🙂

We just spent the weekend at a hunt test for him and he passed his fourth so he won his Junior Hunter title! And in the spirit of me trying new things and building my confidence I was his handler 2 of the 4 tests! I couldn't believe I was brave enough to do it, to be honest. It went well all around and I learned a lot that I wouldn't have learned from the sidelines.

Positive life changes.

Today I've done my morning routine and I'm going to take pup for a hike. I have what feels like way too much to do around the house since the weekend kind of threw me off. So instead of posting what I plan to do, when I get home from our hike I'm going to just start moving and see what I can accomplish.

Thinking of you all ((hugs))

Good Morning 🙂

Hi Roxie 🙂
Thank you.
But I never pamper. LOL
Only help when I see it is truly needed.
The other week an Occupational Therapist came by here and I told her "we don't need you."
She said/insisted that she do an evaluation and I said "knock yourself out" and let her in.
She saw for herself that he could function perfectly fine, do all things necessary like reach food/dishes and use all the features of the bathroom and get in and out of his bed, etc...
She asked who cleans the house, does the yard work, does the maintenance, does the laundry, buys the groceries/pharmacy, etc. and I said "I do" to all her questions.
As she left she said that I was right, we don't need her. 😀

Yesterday I got the house cleaned! YEA!!!
This morning "someone" peed on the fresh clean throw rug I had in front of the bathroom sink.
I asked every cat "DID YOU DO THIS????" and they all denied it. 🙁
They do not normally pee away from the litter box so must now watch to see if someone is sick or something.
Yesterday my first Iris bloomed! 😀
A lovely lavender shade of purple.
Today I plan to make green tea/lemonade, hard boil some eggs and make macaroni salad.
Then clean the kitchen.
Also, wash some laundry.
Mostly today I will just take it easy and enjoy Springtime. 🙂
Monday only have the home nurse and physical therapist coming by but Tuesday another 150+ mile round trip into Reno to the vascular surgeon's office.
At least I get to see the grazing Mustang (wild horses) along the drive there.
Last time, we counted 22 horses. 🙂

Tea toast! 😉

Having my first cup of coffee this morning...mmm, good. :::clink:::

LR, Tat, Dave, Karl, all of youse, hugs!

Good morning everybody! 😀

Yesterday was one of THOSE days.
Nothing accomplished and everything that could go wrong went wrong.

Fresh new day today. All freshly washed by the rain we had over night. 😀

Today my plan is to do a good thorough house cleaning.
Bathroom, wash floors, vacuum, dust, etc...
Kitchen is about the only area not needing a good cleaning since I have been keeping up with that.
Hoping that tomorrow I can have the whole day off to rest up for the week to come.
There will be more appointments and long car trips but it is starting to look like things are improving.

Missing you all (((hugs)))