Tat, thanks for sharing your moms story, sorry she had to be put through that humiliation. Thank goodness you arrived with love and warm food. Reading her story, touched me on many levels, including the fact that it showed you really understand how painful a "joke" can be coming from a mean spirited person. Especially in front of other people. Thank you Tat for your continued kindness to your mom, yourself and me and many others. I will go for lobster with you this year instead of moms "friend" big mouth!!!!! Amazing how your timing was perfect for your mom and me, you are a blessing to many.
So happy you are available to me and all on this site. You are kind, stable, consistent and good hearted, means a lot.

That is very disappointing, Diane. A couple of weeks ago my mother (who turns 85 this week and is very frail) had one of the workers at her assisted living place say something mean to her. She walked into the dining room and headed over to the only two-person table (my mother does not like sitting at the bigger tables and in truth, is happiest eating alone). As she headed over there, one of the dining room workers said loudly, I am not setting that table just for you... I do enough for you. My mother left in tears, and went upstairs. I didn't know about any of that when I stopped by to drop off some homemade food for her. I got upstairs and sat her down, gave her the food (still warm from the oven) and poured her a glass of water. Perfect timing. But here's the awful part, when she went down for dinner, someone who she had always considered a friend, started teasing her loudly and the whole dining room started laughing at her. Now this "friend" is someone who I take out to lobster dinners on my mother's birthday each year. I have also taken her to the movies. My mother was completely devastated and kept asking her to please stop but instead the friend kept it up. Mind you, they weren't at the same table so everyone could hear, and the more laughs she got, the louder she got.

I hate mean people. Diane, I don't participate in chat but I am available for you anytime. I think we have a good group here. Thank goodness LR was there to reassure you. And Mel, you are a lovely, thoughtful addition. I am keeping my fingers crossed with the plumber. And the boyfriend sounds lovely. Keep up the good work, everyone. Diane, hold your head up high. You are valuable, productive and wonderful.

Tat and Mel, thanks for your kind words and understanding about working with lots of people, and the feeling of hopelessness.

Last night chat was disappointing. Appears newer people enjoy picking on me, from an event where one of them kept interrupting me a month ago and I finally said shut up. During my 15 minutes she kept talking about her self, and distracting me from working on my goals for the week. After I said shut up, she said was going to walk her dog to keep poking, instead of just being polite and go walk her dog. Last night it was said, "you are not allowed to lose it, unless you are Diane". I was hurt and sad. Then when I apologized on message board, she said "that was big of you" to continue being mean and controlling. Instead of working on their hoards, appears they just want a mean girls social club. Focusing on problems other than working on their hoards. It is no longer a safe place for me. LR I appreciated your suggestion that we not pick on each other.

I would like a separate chat time for people that have been on this site for over a year, old timers chat. There we could work on maintenance and support each other in continuing to improve. We could talk about long term challenges and give ideas to each other on organizing and simplifying.

Good evening everyone,

Tillie, so good to hear that your trip was safe, productive and even lovely! hooray!

Diane, I think many or maybe even most of us can understand that overwhelmed, why keep trying feeling. I'm glad that a good night's rest has helped you feel better. Work in the yard is important this time of year (I too have a ton of vines! I was thinking about dressing up as Poison Ivy for Halloween and using the real vines as part of my costume :))

It's tough dealing with the public. At a previous job I dealt extensively with the public and it was very tiring and difficult for me. And some people just seem to be looking for something to pick a fight about. A colleague of mine recently got a call from an angry person who brought her to tears (and the thing he was calling her about was something that had nothing to do with our company, he just wouldn't believe her when she kept trying to explain it). I don't understand why people feel like it's OK to be so horrible to someone else, especially someone who is trying to help them. I generally only have to deal with my in-house colleagues at my current job, but I'm working on a big project that requires me to talk to a lot of external people, which has been really hard for me. I really hate talking on the phone. Most of the people I've talked to have been really nice, but I absolutely dread picking up the phone to make a call (and answering incoming calls).

Tatoulia, it's nice having a place to store something (and bonus points that it can be at your brother's house instead of yours). Are things at your mom's actually worse or just look worse because you're pulling more stuff out and sorting through it? This is definitely a challenge for me. In order to sort through closets/under bed/etc, i have to pull it all out - which then leads me to feeling overwhelmed because it feels like there's just SO MUCH stuff. Also very good of you to help out your disabled family member.

I was away for the weekend, I did a 5k fundraiser walk on Saturday and it went well. Got home late tonight so I didn't do much except sort through my 'single sock' drawer - when I do laundry and I have one sock but not it's mate, I put it in this drawer, and every few weeks I sort through it and pair up the socks that have both made it to the drawer.

I'm feeling a little (OK, a lot) panicked about the plumber visit on Wednesday. It's a hard deadline and I absolutely must get the kitchen, utility room and bathroom as clean as possible before they come out (and of course they have to pass through the living room and dining room to go between the bathroom and kitchen. They've already called twice to try to move up the date. Both times were last week when I was at work so I had an excuse to not have them come out, but I had told them I was available both Monday and Wednesday this week if they needed to change the day so I'm a little afraid they're going to call me tomorrow and ask if they can come out that day. Part of me wants to do some work in some of the other rooms because I feel like I'm close to a breakthrough in the second bedroom, but I know I really need to focus especially on the kitchen and utility rooms (and the fact that I don't want to focus on them probably tells you how much more work needs to be done there :(). My garbage and recycling bins are on wheels so I'm going to wheel them onto the porch tomorrow so I don't have to carry anything out to the garage as I make progress. I'm going to try to get up at my usual time so I can start work first thing in the morning so if they do call and want to move up the visit to that afternoon I'll at least have a few hours to make progress.

I also have a leak in the roof so I need to get up there and patch it. I'm guessing that's where the lingering moldy smell is coming from, and it's been raining a lot. If I can make really good progress on the kitchen/utility room/etc, then I can turn my focus to other stuff for a while. It's also getting chillier so I need to put plastic up on my windows and all that fall stuff.

I'm also seeing my counselor tomorrow, so that will be good. My boyfriend also wrote me a really sweet email that he wants me to feel loved and supported and never wants me to feel stressed or anxious because of him. I said I'll need some extra reassurance when he moves in but I think we'll be OK.

Feeling really frustrated about the mouse situation. I caught one more but that was a few days ago, and I found a previously cleaned drawer that now has a bunch of droppings in it, which makes me feel really exasperated. I thought I only had paper products in that drawer so I wasn't really worried about it, but some of them were from a pizza party and there were some of those little packets of cheese in the bag that I didn't realize were there. I'll do as much as I can and when my boyfriend's cats move in, that should help the situation.

Tomorrow is another day. Let's make it a good one!

Made my roast, took a disabled family member grocery shopping and then swept his apt and changed his bed sheets. Made it to storage where I got my blanket out and I took my Thanksgiving dishes over to my brother 's house. We will likely have Thanksgiving at his house because my mother can't do the stairs at my house. My brother has plenty of cabinet space and told me I can use the cabinet above the fridge. So I will take my Christmas dishes there too.

Was very happy to be at storage and can definitely see it will be tough, but by no means impossible, to be out of the space for good. Just need to keep plugging away on it.

Good morning everyone! Nice cool autumn day here. Good to read everyone's posts. Diane, I know that hopeless feeling and also find a decent night's rest and a nice meal make a world of difference! I too get weary from being "on" at work, where I am forced to suffer the fools gladly. I lost my cool last week and called a particularly negative, grumpy, surly person a bad name. I'm so sick of her. I need to better work on keeping my cool. I'm embarrassed and ashamed that I didn't just walk away. But, that was then and this is now. I remind myself I am but a mere mortal.

Tillie, what a beautiful trip! I'm glad it went well and that you saw so many wonderful things. Very nice to read about it! And thrilled that it was a lovely time for the two of you.

I hope everyone is doing well. Reading your progress helps to motivate me. My motivation level is low. I really need to find a way to move forward today! I've taken full advantage of my "time off for good behavior" and need to get back to doing things. Mom is resistant and her place looks worse than ever, which admittedly is my fault. I will bring her some food tonight (I'm making a roast) and will see if she has the strength to let me organize her front closet. I've told her that I won't take anything out of that closet, I will merely help her find some space.

Good morning, thought I should post early today to let you know I finally slept last night, just in case my post yesterday made you think I had given up on life. I know feelings of hopelessness and contempt pass.
Bitsy, I appreciated the site of the hoard house. My kitchen is full of dirty dishes and those photos made me realize it is time to really clean kitchen. Good it is 36 degrees outside, keeps me in to do dishes, hopefully.
Goals today: clean kitchen, make soup
Get papers and supplies ready for work this week
I realize it is hard for me to be around hundreds of strangers each week, being focused and cheerful each minute, and have to be kinder to myself for not being productive at home right now.
This is my last week of being this busy.

Tillie, sounds like a wonderful trip, thanks for describing what you saw on the way.
I worked in yard all day, moved more pretty rocks in a nice arrangement, all day and no work inside. Today I woke up at 5 am again, 5 and half hours of sleep is just not enough, and it really hit me today, felt crappy all day, even though it was beautiful and I was having fun with the rocks. Had to remember that I will feel good again, just not today. The thought crossed my mind, I understand why Robin Williams offed himself. When I feel bad and can not talk or act myself into feeling better, think, why go on if I try so hard and my emotions betray me. Hard to put those thoughts in print----- Thanks Tillie for saying it is ok to just goof off today. I raked lots of leaves from the vines that get bugs if I leave leaves on ground, I realized, I need to get rid of some of those vines, said same thing last spring, and here I am cleaning up after them. There are too many vines, vine hoarder apparently, time to let go of vegetation that does not bring me joy.
Did 2 loads of laundr;y and hung on line. had a salmon/kale salad, felt better after eating a healthy meal.

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Everybody, try to have some fun play time this weekend! 😀

How did it go Tillie? That is a long trip for a Friday eve.
Rained today while I was taking supplies to car and poured while driving to clinic. I was so grateful cars were driving at a reasonable speed and no wrecks that I saw. So happy I do not work this weekend.
Have not posted because have not been doing any house work. I continued to work in yard, not a priority but good to calm my nerves this week. Next week will be last busy work week. Will be nice to start making progress in here again. Just tired.

Good Morning...

Everybody, make this a GREAT Friday and stay safe. 🙂

My tentative plan for the day is to find a company (shouldn't be hard to do) that will buy an old vehicle that I own for scrap metal and will haul it off for me. There is a tree growing near that vehicle, but the tree isn't growing up through it . . . yet!

Bitsy, I was happy to see that you and your son are able to be back home! Hugs!

Wishing everyone a good day! Hugs to all.

Hi all,

Dave, you made a lot of really good points. I really hope that I can sincerely make the change to not be chained to possessions. The reason I have my grandmother's things is because she lived here before I did. My mom was her only child and when she died my mom was heartbroken and couldn't bring herself to go through the stuff. I think you're absolutely right that in a couple years i'll look back and be able to see which choices were good and bad.

Tillie, I hope you have a safe trip to the grocery shop this weekend. Glad you've been taking it easy this week.

Bitsy, congratulations on getting your taxes filed! Hooray!

Tatoulia, hope all is well with you!

As I posted earlier, I called and scheduled the visit from the plumber for next Wednesday. I'm hopeful and nervous and scared and excited all at once. I admit, I'm thrilled at the thought that i'll FINALLY be able to shower at home again. Now I'm going to focus for the next week on getting the kitchen and utility room as clean as possible. I've already cleaned up the sink and most of the counters, I still have more to do especially in the utility room (other messes can be hidden behind doors and whatnot).

I haven't gotten much done today but I can work on more tomorrow. I did drop off the two bags of clothing at the donation place today. It was garbage pickup day so now I have empty garbage and recycling bins to fill up again. I'm halfway through the month and still so much to do before November arrives. All I can do is keep plugging away at it.

Have a great Thursday everyone! The weekend is just around the corner 🙂

I have my fingers crossed for you, Mel. Keep up the good work. I especially appreciated Dave's sentiment that two years from now you'll find you made some good choices and some bad choices. Dave, that felt really freeing. Thank you for that.

Tillie, honestly you are so good natured. Good luck on your trip. Bitsy, keep up the good work. I know it's really tough right now. At least you won't have the burden of worrying about your taxes--glad they are filed.

Hello and best wishes to everyone, new and familiar alike.

Thanks Dave 🙂

I am always trying to find the humor in my life situations.
And really, it is much better when you can laugh at the absurdities of the situations rather then cry.

P.S. I always bring along a big empty ice chest on shopping excursions. 🙂

I was out in back cutting sunflowers and just came in to offer an apology. Thanks for taking it in good humor, that was a smart alec remark which is probably not too useful to you right now. It has to be really stressful seeing the family money spent that way. Also, with the grocery store being the point of the trip, wondering whether you can buy the cold things you need and get them home safely. Wish things were working better for you.

LOL 😀 Dave

Maybe Death Valley Scotty will be out of area, running into Carson City too and able to provide assistance if needed! 🙂

I finally finished my 2013 taxes and e-filed. Just as I thought, my income is so low I don't owe any taxes and will not be getting any refund but I still have to file because I have divided, capital gain, and interest income (1099, 1099-DIV, and 1099-B) not fun. I always manage to lose one form I need between when they come and when I start to file in April.

We are going to Laundromat in a while. I miss having a washer at home. have to drag laundry there and back and just wait while its washing. but then it's done for a week or so.

Good Morning Everybody! 🙂

Keep on keeping on! 😀

Hopefully I didn't just post three times, having some technical difficulties. Just wanted to report that the plumber is coming next Wednesday! I'm excited and terrified. Hopefully they'll be nicer than the last plumber that came out.

Mel,

There is a life chained to possessions and there is a life free of being possessed by possessions. You are seeing that at an age where you can make that change and still enjoy that freedom in ways that a lot of people posting on this site cannot.

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Mom, space is an important thing to have in your life too. There's a guy on a website that I watch that says his dining room table talks to him and says "I'm not your donkey. Get this c*** off me and get me some people and coffee cups!" (My half of the dining room table is covered by a rotating pile which currently is around 8" thick, so you can take that with however many grains of salt you wish.)

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If you initially took your grandmother's things because no-one else would, then they are actually yours to dispose of as you see fit and if you have the time and inclination, you could review some of the boxes, make some judgement calls and take some of it to thrift stores.

2 years from now, you will look back and think "I made some good choices and some bad choices back then". The thing to keep in mind now is that you are doing a good job working to see the choices that you have and making decisions about them.

Dave, you bring up a really good point. When I first found this site, I started looking through all of the different areas and topics and I felt overwhelmed at the massive amount of information and tried to read through as much as I could. Eventually I had to say 'that's it, I'm just going to post' because otherwise I'd still be reading now 🙂

Diane, it sounds like you've made so much progress! It's so nice that you were able to visit out in the yard. Congrats!

Sailor's Wife, welcome!

LR, congrats on making progress on your living room! I don't know what it is about being able to see more of the floor that feels so great! Keep up the good work!

Today was a less productive day for me. I got all my garbage and recycling out to the curb for tomorrow's pickup (garbage can is full, recycling bin could hold a little more) and brought two boxes of my grandma's stuff to my mom. Mom told me about a discussion she had with my sister that reminded me of how my house got to this point. She said that my sister has been nagging her to get rid of old books, and she insisted that she wanted to go through them first. Then she said she was upset and disappointed that if she donated them to the library, they would just end up selling it and someone would get it for .25 when she had paid $7 for it. She also talked about how she didn't want to get rid of any of my grandma's old stuff because it might be worth something and she didn't want to just give something valuable away.

I know my sister will be mad that I'm giving mom more stuff that's she's probably just going to end up storing, and I feel a little guilty, but then I think - why does that mean that I have to be the one to hold on to it? Why do I have to use my already-limited storage space to store this stuff? My sister is not in favor of my boyfriend in general (she refuses to even meet him, and we've been dating over a year now), and I know she's going to blame me moving all this stuff out of the house on him moving in. And actually, that's accurate. Had I never met him, I probably would still be living in a house with 2 1/2 foot piles throughout with little pathways to the places I needed to go. It's been difficult and hard work but I'm proud of what I've accomplished and I know I can make even more progress before the month is over.

Hope everyone has a great Hump Day!

You are under no obligation to read all past posts.
Back-reading amnesty is granted to all.
Just start fresh from where you are at, at the time you get here. 🙂

Hi Dave WTG! 🙂
Sometimes we just need to move forward from where we are emotionally or mentally at the time. Feeling obligated to back read can easily discourage or overwhelm us from moving forward.
Plus, we are all here on a journey to change, make our lives better in some way, and we need to keep our focus on moving forward.
This not to discourage people from back reading.
But if you start to feel overwhelmed or guilty because you don't want to back read, you have AMNESTY. 🙂

Tillie,

Thanks.
Dave

Dave,
thank you for your suggestion. I miss Roxie's posts.

I was just making another run through the gratitude thread looking at all the posts. It is very uplifting to read all those comments!

How about an honor Roxie week?

Make a post in the Gratitude thread each day for the rest of the week.

Doesn't have to be long, complicated, fearsome or more than one thing.

Just a post about something that is bringing you pleasure or joy that day.

If you can't think of something to write, just scroll through a few older pages of the gratitude thread, looking for the reddish color posts and let the spirit behind them resonate within and draw something out.

Good morning, everyone! Glad to "see" you again, Sailor's Wife, and I'm glad that you're posting on the message board! Welcome!

As has been usual for me lately, I am behind on reading posts for this past week. I'm looking forward to catching up on that.

I've been spending a lot of time the past few days working on a certain section of my living room that hasn't been "attacked" in some time . . . longer than I want to admit. I'm happy to see more floor there and to get a lot of items into the trash. Yea!

Hugs to everybody.

Hi, I'm new here! I'm looking forward to getting to know you all, and to getting motivated to sort out all my clutter! x