Hey bitsy,
I don't do well with the cold either-not looking forward to this winter. But, there is another spring on the way and it is my intention to be around to see it. Mailbox good! Assistance good! Maybe something fun to laugh about will turn up tomorrow. Hope the day goes well for you!

thanks Dave and Dianne.
i managed to get my printer to work last nite and printed the papers my son needed to apply for assistance.

Bitsy, I'm so sorry there is one more aggravation to deal with. But I'm really glad you told us.

That post sounds really discouraged.
I hope Saturday comes up a better day for you!

the mailbox has fallen down or been knocked down. i am tired.

LR, congratulations on getting rid of the old vehicle (AND getting paid for it YAY!) And it's wonderful that you know someone who will happily use your office and school supplies. It feels good when extras can be donated instead of tossed.

Enjoy your breaks today everyone!

Hi friends,
It's been a while since I posted---not since I went back to work.
I have a four day weekend and am feeling good, so I am blitz cleaning. I am ashamed to say that my house is as bad as it has ever looked. The dust bunnies have become dust yetis. I love my job, but some days it takes so much out of me that I just have no more energy left when I come home. At 61, I just don't have the stamina and the ability to bounce back or push on through that I did at 20. That's life.
Already today I have taken out two full garbage bags of rubbish.
The kitchen and living room are priorities today. The entry way is all done except for the vacuuming.
The dogs are having a mini vacation. I took them to the groomer this morning to be bathed and trimmed. Then she will walk them next door to Doggie Daycare. It is worth the expense to be able to clean and de-clutter without them getting in the way. I can get so much more done. I wish there was Kitty Daycare for Frank.
I have missed the daily encouragement from all of you and hope everyone is doing well. I'll try to review previous posts on my breaks.

LR so great reading that you gave away supplies to kids that can use them, and to have the car scrapped!!!!!! Money in your pocket on top of it too, congrats on progress.
Tat, so happy to hear you are looking for creeping clutter and that you are continuing to help your mom in a loving, caring way.
You both inspire me this rainy day.
Creeping clutter has reappeared since I worked so much this week. Yesterday had to be at a clinic at 7am, then another one in another town and got home at 7pm. Both were very busy, and today I am pleasantly tired. Day off today so had planned to do more than I did. I washed dishes, vacuumed 2 rooms, organized my wood stash in wood shed, cleared one wall so can paint it, one wall is now turquoise, this will be white probably with turquoise shelves. the walls have never been painted and have 20 years of cob webs and plenty of spiders, so cleaned walls today, never decluttered before, so was exciting seeing possibilities in there. Tomorrow is my last long day clinic. Next week, shorter clinics. Looking forward to slowing down and working on clutter again.
Yesterday went to new doctor between clinics. She is wonderful, kindred soul, rock collector, she gave me her favorite rock she had at office. Today I gathered some cool rocks from my yard to wash and make a sculpture for her. Nice catching up on posts on here, happy to hear of clean counters, and other progress, as Tillie would say, WTG!!

Yay LR! Fantastic work! Very pleased for you. Plus I've been missing you so I'm glad you posted! I'm going to clean my kitchen now. Noticed some clutter creep and thought about Dianne's post re her clear counters! I agree with Dianne's daughter, it is so nice to cook with ckear counters.

Much love to all. Missing Roxie, Bitsy, Tillie and Diane. And everybody else--if I forgot to mention you, it means there's clutter in my brain, too!

Hi to all. I wish to report that yesterday, I finally got an old vehicle towed off . . . sold for scrap metal. Now it is no longer an eyesore (and I have more money in my pocket). Yea!

I also just finished going through a few excess office and school supplies and giving some of them to an appreciative neighbor who has a number of school-aged children. (This makes only a dent in my supply, but at least I made a dent!)

Have a good evening, everybody.

Mel, I am so, so happy for you!!!

May each of you find something today that you accomplished and feel great about!

Hi all,

Tatoulia, you are so sweet to be worrying on my behalf. Thank you!

I'm relieved this part is taken care of and I'm already looking at options for faucets. I had no idea they could be so expensive! My boyfriend thinks he can install a new one himself, so trying to decide if I'm going to do that or just get it done before he moves in (I hate the idea of having a honey-do list for him before he even gets here). I really liked the plumber, I'll probably ask for him if I do end up having them come to install the faucet for me. He was very straightforward with me, which I appreciated. He let me know about potential issues since my house (and plumbing) is older, and he was quick and efficient. He got all three leaks in the shower fixed up and sealed up a couple other issues in that area, and then inspected the faucet in the kitchen all within the 1 hour minimum. It's not cheap (but are any plumbers really?) but I think he did a good job. He also turned everything on to show me that the leak was gone and one thing that might cause a leak (if the faucet is on full blast). I put on a dvd of a tv show I like and also had my computer on and running while he was here so I had enough to distract me.

I'm feeling pretty positive about my rooms in general. I still have the second bedroom to make major progress on, but I feel like once that's mostly sorted out I'll be in good shape. Yes, there's still lots of closets and drawers and storage areas, but I think those will feel more doable once the last room is mostly done.

Unfortunately I'm back to work tomorrow, I wish I could have taken the whole week as I originally planned.

Thank you all for all of your kind words and thoughts and support through this process. You don't know how much it means to me to be able to really talk about this stuff without worrying about being/feeling judged (well, OK, maybe you do ;)).

Have a great Thursday everyone!

Congratulations, Mel! Believe it or not, I've been experiencing some anxiety for you today! You lived through it! I would suggest getting the kitchen faucet ASAP. I know that as a hoarder, I let things go too long. Keep your momentum going so that you can save your cabinets! So happy to hear that he was nice to you. All we need, in the end, is some kindness and understanding.

Thank you both for the kind thoughts so much! Just wanted to make a very brief update, will write more later.

The plumber was very kind and respectful. I showed him my leaks and he let me know that what I thought was one leak was actually 3. He fixed those but let me know that the faucets are so old that I'll eventually need to replace them (he said start budgeting). He said the kitchen faucet is old and needs to be replaced because it's leaking underneath which will damage the cabinets. He suggested I buy one and they can install it for me.

So the good news is it went well, the less good news is that I'll have to have them back. Just wanted to let you know. Thanks again for the support!

Mel, you've accomplished so much! Most people do tend to kind of blow off their accomplishments and see all that is left to do. And to look at a chunk of free time they've had and wished they had gotten more done. Take a little time to tell yourself how proud you all of all the good work you've done!

I give a big *second* to everything Tat said!

Thinking about you today, Mel, and wishing you luck. Just stay calm! And take a moment to be proud of your accomplishments! You are doing great work! You might find it calming to do some small work (sorting or shredding papers, working on your "junk drawer", etc) while the plumber is there. I used to work on jigsaw puzzles when I had workers in my place to stay calm.

You've done a lot. And I understand that for hoarders, doing a lot means there's still a lot to do. Sending you strength and peace today. Also, I hope the day with your father went well. You are a good daughter , wonderful friend and valuable person.

Hi everyone,

Just a very brief update before bed.

I'm feeling pretty good about the kitchen and utility room. In the morning I want to do a little mopping and I'd like to do a little to tidy up the living room/dining room area since that's what you see when you walk in. The kitchen/utility room aren't REALLY clean but the area where the plumber will need to work and the nearby areas are much cleaner. I'm still anxious but feeling fairly positive about it. Unfortunately, I feel like I'm neglecting everything else, especially the second bedroom which has a LOT of cleaning out that needs to happen. November is just around the corner. So I'm feeling good about what I've finished so far but I have so much more to do. And tomorrow is my last day off work and I feel like I should have gotten more done while I was off work.

Wish me luck tomorrow! Hope everyone has a great Wednesday!

Thank you Dianne.....lookin forward to it 🙂

Hope everyone has had a good day and are making the progress they need.

Tat, thank you so much! When I think about my older posts it's embarrassing that I put so much personal stuff online. I really appreciate you saying you took strength from those things. I'm glad your house is clear too (with some issues) and that you think it is still necessary to be here. I feel like that too. I am scared to death of going backwards. Your kind heart is a great inspiration to me! Thank you for being here!

Everyone, have a day of strength today!

...the "funny" thing about the shed is I didn't go look to see how much she took or how much space it made, but I woke up in the middle of the nite thinking and "seeing" a LOT gone but what was left was kind of spread out all over... anyway it wasn't until the next time I woke up that I thought, no, she couldn't have taken that much because she just had the Explorer and couldn't have fit a dresser and large curio cabinet in there. So I realized I had been dreaming. Dreaming won't do it.

bitsy,
Yes! Yes! Yes! Exciting to hear about the movement from the shed!!!

Thanks Mel! They sure do pile up and while I rarely let anything else priorize over them, have had to this last month. They are done up and plan on keeping it that way again....so yayyy me!!!

You know as I was making dinner, I could not help thinking about diane's post and the different things said in it about what someone has done or said in chat.

I have had the misfortune of being present when the things had gotten nasty about a month ago, which by the way I felt ganged up upon. That is besides the point and also not anything I came here to complain about, as I already knew there was nice people here. Again...chalked up what had happened to a likely misunderstanding.

When I read what has been written by diane earlier down, it refers to "one" person who spoke during her turn and for the whole time and all about themselves(I was there and was not my impression--someone said something not knowing they were not to speak and then they were yelled at to shut up which is NOT notmal chat format), then there is reference to someone walking their dog(I guess the same person although cannot remember who as there was not anything obvious going on in chat that seemed off until the SHUT UP), with her post ending in last buy not least someone telling her it was big of her to apologize in here(yep that was me and I genuinely thought so)....although none of these people are the same and in fact my telling her it was big of her was a supportive comment NOT a put down from someone being controlling or mean. I can say that with 100% confidence, as is was me.

I give up. Have put time and effort out to be polite and decent despite how I have been treated here around whatever misconceptions there have been. I do not know about anyone else, although after the month I have been through and what is on my plate....I am done being extra sweet to someone else who has issues as though I am that big of a person because right now I realize that my feelings matter.

I deserve support too and I last but not least am not standing for someone taking something nice and kind that was done and contorting it into some twisted attack against them.

Give me a break and try being nice and supportive to others instead of as though the world is against you and everyone else is so mean and awful. Not a very mature way to get attention or play with people and relationships.

How would you have liked it if when you were new that someone was that way and then to top it off instead of being helpful and kind, posted about trying to alienate new people like they are lesser and not as deserving?!?!?!

I am sorry, although if that is what you truly believe and how you think....I have no idea why you are here and what your issues are and while I was interested in getting to know you and be your friend along with everyone else----realized tonight that other people here matter too diane and one of them is ME!

Good luck with whatever you choose, although there is not a group of bad mean people here the two times I have been in chat and then seen things posted here. Your versions of what has happened are not exactly precise and the only constant is that people are mean to you, even when ``you`were the on to have flipped out on them!

Yes, this is a support site and not only is being kind and supportive part of it, although so is being real and honest about what is and is not....so there ya go any and everyone who was or has not been in chat.

Diane I wish you the best and while this was not directed specifically at you, rather a response to your behavior which I cannot even being to put into worde how inappropriate it has been. Not last night, although todays post wow! That on top of a month ago and you lost me feeling bad for you sadly.

Maybe this site needs a moderator and Cory can go check the logs from the last incident and the one a month ago, as then the record could be set straight and enough for the games. It has wasted too many people's time and energy and has started up again. I am not here for that...this is not my website, I am not a therapist and no one I have talked to seems to be here for spending their time dealing with supporting and stressing out in chat anbout things that just are not how they get posted on the boards.

I plan to stay here and work here with those who want to, although am done with this. As you can tell, I am not good when I see incorrect things said or implied about others or myself and will speak up. Hopefully we are all on the same page and will only come here to support each other in a kind way and leave the drama and grade school antics at the door.

Am not usually so blunt and direct, which usually takes alot...and the alot has been reached.

If I am now considered a bad guy or trouble maker for being honest about what has been going on then for those of you who think that, that is ok. For those who want to be my friend and support me while I support you being real and all.....lets do it. That includes you as well diane, although my tolerance for stories is low....especially when they are being told or impied about others in a negative way different than what actually happened resulting in gained sympathy for kindling to start a fire or having made one in the first place.

Peace....

Bitsy--nice to hear from you and I'm glad you had a nice visit with your granddaughter. I was thinking of you today and hoping that you and your son are well.

Mel, GREAT WORK! congratulations. I bet you made more progress than you thought you would! Great job. I hope all goes well with your father tomorrow. Don't worry about the house tomorrow. Just spend time with your dad and know that you are a good daughter.

Much love to everyone and thank you for your kind words.

Good evening all.

I'm rarely around on Sundays when the chat is scheduled so I haven't participated in a chat and I don't really know how it works. Diane, I'm so sorry the chat went so poorly. It's awful that you felt picked on and attacked and I really hope it was a misunderstanding. I've only been on the boards and I've found everyone so kind and wonderful and supportive.

Dianne, as someone who is still, as you say, in the thick of it (but feeling like maybe there's an end in sight!), I want you to know that I appreciate seeing posts from you and Tatoulia that talk about where you are now. It gives me hope for the future. I'm hopeful that I'll get to a point in the not too distant future where I can be focused on the (relatively) smaller things instead of the huge cleanouts.

Tatoulia, I'm so sad that people were so mean to your mom, especially someone who is supposed to be a friend! When I was a picked on kid, I noticed that some people seemed to pick on me to try to improve their own social status. Do elderly folks do this too? It's just awful.

Hi G, congrats on getting dishes put away! Sorry for your pain, and I hope you'll be feeling better.

I had a busy day today. I took Mon - Weds off work this week with the intention of getting some things done (tomorrow I'm taking my dad to the specialist, which will end up being most of the day). I got a lot done in the kitchen and utility rooms today. My garbage can is almost completely full and the area in front of the place where the plumber can access the pipe is totally clear. I even mopped the floor (though to be honest I think it could use another going over). I also scrubbed the kitchen sink (they're also going to fix my leaky faucet) and threw away old, stained and gross rugs that were on the floor. I still need to wipe down the cabinets and find space for a few items that are sitting out (and mop the kitchen floor too) but overall I'm very pleased with my progress in the kitchen and utility rooms. I even cleaned out some sections that won't be visible to the plumber (but that I want to get cleaned out before my boyfriend moves in).

I had a really good conversation with my therapist this afternoon and we really dug deep. I'm feeling exhausted and drained and I'm getting ready to go to sleep early here.

I hope we all have good, restorative sleep tonight and tomorrow is a good day!

I hardly know what to say. So much is going on here. I am having trouble concentrating and sleeping. Today when my grand-daughter was over she got some of her stuff out of our shed. I was especially glad she took her handmade pottery before it got broken. She also took two small bags of books and a bunch of child sized hangers that I was going to take to Goodwill.

Today is a new day and I am grateful for every one of you. Diane, thank you for your sweet post. Of course mom and I would love to have you 'pop over ' for lobster anytime! We will have your lobster bib waiting! And of course we always play the game to see who forgets to take the bib off when we leave the restaurant! Sometimes it's both of us and we laugh all the way home!

Dianne, I hope you know that I appreciate your posts and progress. I have read your old posts and took great strength from your struggles. My heart still breaks when I think about you on the corner of your bed. I am now living in a clear house with some issues here and there, (closet, storage space) and I think it is absolutely necessary to be here. I hope you'll feel like you can stay here. You are important to me.

G, those dishes do pile up. I've been good about clearing the dishwasher as soon as it's clean. I know that not everyone has a dishwasher but 1) putting clean dishes away and 2) putting clean clothes away have helped me with the clutter.

Everyone, I send hugs your way. Mel, I hope you are finding time to breathe, drink water, eat well and sleep. You are doing great work. We all are doing great work.

Thank you all for indulging my mom story and for being supportive and loving. It can feel very lonely sometimes. As a hoarder, as a daughter, as a human being. Let us chase away the loneliness together.

Ah, there are still issues.......

The past few days I had decided to just post on the Gratitude thread. Can't run into too much hurt there can we?

There are places online where private chat rooms can be set up, which I had suggested before if this one is not working or a more intimate private setting is needed. Google is great, although all of this is what we make it. How we are as a group is how we choose..... Hoping for a focussed support network where we are all treating each other with respect adn providing support.

Sticking to the topic, am putting away some dishes that have been done up yesterday after being neglected while working on project. Attending to some emails and keeping it small for now, as am having alot of pain and just not feeling too well in general.

Hi Everyone,

I am back having had to be away working on a project that required alot of concentration and focus, although just recently came back. Am looking forward to giving and getting support as is intented and why this website has been set up.

Tat: Sorry to hear someone was mean to your Mom. I as well do not like mean people...in fact do not know anyone who does. Hope she is feeling better and gets her spirits up soon.

Diane: I was in chat last night and saw what was said. As well agree wtih LR and had started typing to it as well about not being a supportive thing to say on a support website. Believe the person who had said it understood that and while it should not have been typed, I guess they had not meant to. Maybe you two can talk about it sometime in chat to get the air cleared? Sometimes it is all in how we take things as well. In all fairness, the understanding was that you have some issues that made it so you lost self control and blew up at/on others(setting your needs and the needs of how others are with you as different). Sounds like some resentment, although maybe everyone can just let things go and start fresh!

I am the one who a month or so ago had said it was very big of you to apologize for blowing up in chat. Still think it was, while at the same time an understanding was made clear that when you talk no one but Tillie is to speak and the reaction towards someone accidentally speaking who did not know was not approriate. Maybe that has changed? Respect and support are key here for and towards all of us...new or old. At the same time water under the bridge and a past thing(There is a whole thread of that on the boards here about what had happened and being eventually chaulked up to a misunderstanding).

Always there will be new people who may or may not know this information and people as well are human, so while even on Sunday when I had said to Katy that only Tillie is supposed to speak when you are talking.....which made me feel like a bad guy as she did NOT know and I just was trying to prevent another incident(although Katy did not do anything wrong either...shortly after she left as that was not clear enough for her either and she "may" have felt picked on by being told speaking was not allowed during your time). 🙁

Last I had heard you were not coming to chat again, although it was nice to see you there and even suggesting I take part of my turn that I had given away as I felt someone else needed it more. That was very supportive...thank you.

I am here to support you and everyone else, as well as look forward to receiving support in return. I do not know what the solution/answer is to what seems to be going on, although do not see alientating newer folks as it. We want to support each other, not seperate.

I am sorry you were hurt last night...kept seeing you coming into chat to take your turn after, although then did not seem to be there when it was time for another next turn.

This website is set up for a group, not each of us as an individual. At the same time, I do believe that everyone here has the same goals and sure hope there is not a "mean girl" group.

Let's keep going and doing our best, as that is all any and all of us can ever do.

P.S.- I do not know who went to walk their dog or a number of other things referred to below, although am thinking things are getting mixed together with being upset....as all I know is that I was the one who said it was big of you to have apologized. Not everyone can be so mature about taking that responsability, which speaks for itself. You are a BIG person diane. Many people here love you and there can always be an element of misunderstanding, so let's just keep going and support each other to better lives!!!

Bringing up the past seems to have lost its value and this website in all areas should be welcoming to new people as well as those of you who have been around longer. We are grown adults working together despite conflicts that sem to be triggering grade school mentality of pitting some against others...no offence. I do not feel that was a very nice thing to suggest alientation towards newer people, nor that the owner would support it. Please can we all just be kind and support each other without being mean...

I being still new am quite overwhelemd with these conflicts and while I have been dealing with some heavy duty things since joining all on my own(would rather have support and my time here about moving forward on my journey as well), am hoping to have a community of support here for me as well. I do not really know anyone here well and am trying to not let these issues get in the way or affect how I am interacting with or see others here hoping they are not actual representations 🙁

Deep breaths with the letting go and moving forward....

Peace....