Hi everyone! that sounds beautiful Tillie, here it's still raining some and my son is home from school again because of flooding. Oh darn I have extra help today;) working on all the basics first today before digging into our 'hot spots'. Just sanitizing all exposed surfaces floors tables counters ect. well ya know: everything we can get to without moving stuff. Bathing dog and kids.. Washing all bedding and sanitizing cribs. If we have energy after all that its time to purge and organize some, then post some items on eBay. Hoping everyone has a good energy day and is well.x much love

Checkin in again. Took my cat Velvet for her yearly check-up, dental cleaning, shots and nail trim. Bought two big ol' ferns for seven dollars each.
I am now working on getting my fishes'aquarium cleaned and when I go back to pick up Velvet, I will probably buy a few more fish, that are on sale for one dollar each.(29 gal. tank & only 9 little fish in there right now.)
Then: Wash kitchen dishes, counters, stove and floor. Fold and put away the other two loads of laundry from the other day. (((Hugs to All)))
Later, billie

HAPPY MAY EVERYBODY! 😀
The cats & I are on our way outside right now.
Going to water trees and bushes and flowers.
The wild yellow rose bushes are blooming like crazy.
The big iris are just about ready to open.
The lilacs still have blooms and some other pretty flowers are open.
The Hummingbirds fill the air. 🙂
Every evening a large group of Quail fills the yard then they all sleep in the trees.
I just love Springtime. 😀
Wishing you all a wonderful, magical day.

Correction to Vi: Daughter, not daughters.

Billie: So glad to see your post! Glad your "curb donation" worked out well!

Vi: Glad you and your daughters were able to get so much done in such a short amount of time. Go, Vi!

Me: I did get more done on that bedroom yesterday (particularly on the floors). Part of my goals for today are the usual: add to my gratitude list, work some in the BIT book, and spend 20 minutes on paperwork.

I've been focusing so much lately on cleaning and on the junk I need to get rid of that I'm starting to have dreams about it (not good, in my book . . . not exactly conducive to waking up feeling relaxed and refreshed). I plan to spend some time doing some type of meditation, and I also need to do something to get some exercise (preferably outside, depending on the weather). I need to think about ways to balance out my day a little more!

Hugs to all.

Well, finally getting on here again. I wanted to report my donation on Tuesday,to Big Brothers Big Sisters of: seventy(70)books! and two tank tops.

I had two other items, that I thought not fit for donation,but could still be useable, so just sat them down at the curb and they were gone within an hour. I had gotten that I idea from someone on here, mentioning having done that...Thank You:) So now if there is something that is still useful, that I have a problem throwing away. I will try the "curb donation"

Now back to Monday, I done two loads of laundry and one load today Wednesday, and one of the loads folded and put away.

plans altered a bit today as they killed the electric today instead of thursday, but my daughter and I made good use of our time today. Nearly finished boxing up the kitchen, threw out half the ugly mismatched SIlverware and didn't wash it or let the guilt get to me(thank you TIllie) Yes ROxie, I've been gathering for goodwill, but at this point I've got to move on. I've spent too much damn time feeling guilty about the state of my house when i should have been working harder to DO something about it. I love recycling, and donation and upcycling, but at some point you have to be a realist and realize there are better things to spend your time on than taking on the guilt of tossing stuff in the recycling instead of packing and washing it for the thrift store (again, thank you so much for putting that out there TIllie!) Candy I'm so glad to see things were okay today. to the rest of you I got to chat with last night thank you so much. The more I talk to you guys the more I see I don't have to let this swallow me.

Barb: I like that phrase, "choice by choice." It's both frustrating but also comforting and empowering to remind myself that in my case, my mess didn't happen because someone else "forced" their stuff on me. With a few exceptions, each and every thing in my living space is here because I brought it in here. I brought it in (choice by choice), and it's mine to remove (step by step, choice by choice).

Candy: I would like to offer one suggestion (one that I myself need to follow): instead of thinking in terms of "shaming yourself" into making changes, think again. Many of us feel a lot of shame about our situations. Shame can be a draining force. Although it may take time for our attitudes to "get there," I think we do better in the long run to think in terms of "loving ourselves" into making changes. Everyone, each and every one of us, deserves a much better set of living conditions than what we've given ourselves in the past. (Yeah, I know it's hard to feel that way at first; it's much easier for some of us to beat up on ourselves instead of treating ourselves with love and respect.) But having said all that, OK, let's face it; I'm motivated today to clean my bedroom because I don't want maintenance men to see it the way it is. It's not the most ideal motivation in the long run, but it's helping me get things into gear for the moment! Hugs to you as you are working on your stuff!

Tillie: Thanks for the safety reminders.

I have gotten some work done on my bedroom, and I plan to do more before the day is over. I also need to get some extra rest tonight.

Hugs to everybody!

Hi Candy 🙂

About tackling The dreaded closets.
Breaking tasks down into smaller do-able tasks helps here.
Instead of thinking of the closets, drawers or any areas as a whole,
break it down into...
"I will sort, organize one shelf, drawer or as simple as just one square foot."
You may do just one catagory of items like just shoes or shirts or toys in this small area.
Looking at the closets as a whole is very overwhelming.
Little by little these small tasks will start to really add up and eventually the whole thing will be done.
Good luck & best wishes. 😀

IT'S 1:23 pm here in FL and still raining! what i've got done so far: picked up half the toys on the floor with help from toddler 1... started a loadof laundry...had a good convo with 15 yo about helping out more..he's home today because of storms... bathed fed and changed toddlers 1 & 2...and made myself eat something abainst my will..not muchof an appitite lately because i'm depressed about the mess but i'm pressing on. having mixed emotions about reorganizing closets, cause i really want them done but i dread the confusion i go through when i go to decide what to do with anything! that's what i think keeps me in a cycle of avoidance behavior,it's shame and guilt and fear about my own mental processes but i think if i keep trying i will be able to retrain myself into organizing. x much love

Good morning everybody! 😀

Wonderful, wonderful to read all your posts.
You have all been doing GREAT and making progress.
Tasks have been being tackled and along the way you have all been making fantastic progress working through the mental and emotional processes.
WAY TO GO!!!! 😀

Thank you all for your support and understanding. (((HUGS)))

Wanted to bring up the subject of safety today.
Personal safety, making sure to not hurt ourselves.

We ALL need to wear the proper clothing and shoes when we tackle some of these projects.
Not just the clutter related work.
We do NOT mow the grass or use the weed eater in shorts and flip flops.
These activities require that we wear long pants/jeans and shoes/sneakers.
Also very important to wear safety goggles.
I mean it! 🙁
Many tasks require that we wear gloves.
Heavy leather gloves or sturdy rubber gloves, depending on the task at hand.
Summer will be here soon and we must all keep in mind to stay properly hydrated, take breaks and cool off to prevent heat exhaustion or sun stroke.
Hats and sun screen when outside.
Every time we plan to use any chemical cleaner in an inclosed space/inside, we must always first make sure to have proper ventilation.
Read all instructions, cautions, warnings and what to do in case of accidental exposure on all products.
Anytime we use a power tool we must protect our eyes, hands, arms, legs and feet.
Wearing proper face protection is also required when tackling certain jobs.
Inhailing dust, mold, vapors, bacteria, viruses, chemical fumes, allergens, etc. Can and will make us sick.

Be safe out there (((HUGS)))

WE have had killer storms here in niceville fl as well. kept me up most of the night but power still on and we're safe. i did get some leaves raked yesterday before it started and just a 7' square of ground yeilded 7 wheelbarrowfulls of leaves for the compost. we still have flash flood warnings i think so im worried ups won't come but i really need them to. they are bringing me an expedited bank card today, see i lost mine in my mess. i am so mad at myself for that it's such an important thing and yet again i fail because i can't keep up with sh*!. lost my camera too but when i find it i want to post before and after pictures to shame myself into extra motivation. i am so glad i found people who understand and i'm feeling less alone now. i just took my meds which helps the tar i try to walk through everyday seem a little less sticky. so its a good time to get started. thanks for listening ppl x much love

Good morning, all.
I couldn't do yard work yesterday. We had rain and thunderstorms off and on all day. The grass needs mowing again, but I'll have to wait until it dries some so it doesn't clump.

Tomorrow is trash pickup. One more contractor bag will be filled and removed today. I am sick of this mess and I have to get it out of here.

If you haven't done so yet, take a look at Cory's TED video.
I have always lived and worked in small spaces where I have to use every available space efficiently. The temptation is to fill every available space or buy a bigger house. But what is needed is a conscious effort to only purchase what I will actually use on a daily basis and maintaining good habits to keep it neat and clean.

I have a vision and a plan. I have support and encouragement from my friends on this website. Step by step. Day by day. Choice by choice. I will get where I need to be.

Tillie, I feel for you. I know what it is to be married to one of the most stubborn people on the planet. When they get their backs up, they listen to no one and even logic does not get through. I hope and pray that he will see the state of things and want something better for himself. Take care of yourself and the kitties.

Roxie: So glad you get that cast off today and are safe from that bad weather! Lots of hugs.

Vi: Wow . . . you are really getting a lot done in a short period of time. I like your attitude about the upcoming power outage. Instead of seeing it as a negative, you are looking for the opportunities it provides. (But I'm sorry you have to deal with a power outage, nonetheless.)

Me: I got my goals done yesterday except for a few clean clothing items I still needed to put away this morning. (That's done now.) I didn't really spend as much time in the BIT book as planned; tried to cram too much into the afternoon and evening.

I'm keeping my goals for today simple: to work some more on that bedroom I recently started working on. I plan to focus on the floors in that room (getting stuff up off of it, vacuuming some of it, that sort of thing). Even if I don't get a lot permanently out of there just yet, just getting it more clean will be a good start and should be a boost to my attitude.

I watched that video (the "boxes" video link), and I have mixed feelings about it. I love creative thinking, but I can try to do too much of it at times. Being a person who can think in extremes, I think that for me, just going for the idea of having an average-sized living space that is minimally cluttered is a good goal for me for the time being.

Hugs to all, and have a great day.

Vi, if it is possible, recycle or donate as you go, things such as the silverware. If it is metal you can sell it for scrap, too.

What's in your boxes?

today I did some dishes and threw out some stuff from the boxes, made paths to walk through and am about to go put the garbage in the bins, nearly finished with the boxes upstairs time to get to the garage and make a pile of stuff ready for the dumpster. my SO bought me a brand new sweater today, so I'll get rid of something that isn't as nice and I hardly wear. I didn't accomplish anything Monday. I was going to and then just felt aweful all day spent most of it half in and out of sleep. I was far too ambitious on monday anyways. tomorrow (Wednesday) I'm throwing out all the mismatched and ugly silver ware we aren't taking to the new apartment. while I'm at it I think I'll box up some of the glass ware and clean the kitchen floor. THursday there will be electrical work in the neighborhood and the power may be out all day. it'll be a good excuse to let some sunlight in and declutter the floors and counters.

Hello to all.

Roxie, you said you had trouble earlier today posting. I had that same trouble. I woke up in the middle of the night and tried to post something then. Nothing posted. Since I don't usually try to post in the middle of the night, I thought that maybe there was some site maintenance going on or something. I had better luck later.

Among the things I have done today: I have washed a couple of loads of laundry (here, not at the Laundromat) and dried them. I also got my car washed, cleared a (very) small amount of debris from my patio area and cleaned an item or two out there. Still to be done (goals for later today): Add to my gratitude list, work a little more in my BIT book, put away the laundry, spend at least 20 minutes on my paperwork, and (probably) be at the chat tonight.

Have a good afternoon and evening, everyone.

Hello ladies, busy ladies I might add. I had a terrible night last night with foot pain, I had it on a nice pillow but feel like crap when I don;t sleep. sorry for the negativity
Thanks for the hug Tillie, I need a few more it turns out.
Roxie so happy for you. LR you are doing great.
Tillie, hope all goes well with allowing his mess to cause action, this time. Cory had you do this before with a tantrum ending that phase, prompting action, hope he will get his butt in gear without the tantrum this time, just such a pain for you to deal with. Sounds like you have a good day planned.
I wasted 2 hours this morning trying to get a long valance draped just right, above clean windows. Never got it right, so finally took it down. Then another couple hours working on shading the big deck, it will do for now, just frustrating being tired and not having success with things that should have been easy.
Now I have to change my focus from negative, to how wonderful my living area is, not perfect but so wonderful, and I did it all by myself, who needs a stupid valance anyway.
It is so beautiful out and very little wind, so I am wishing I felt better and didn't have foot pain, imagining I could get so much done today. Will have to find some fun stuff to do without carrying heavy things. I can finish spraying bugs I guess, sounds fun right? Tomorrow want to start spraying weeds, will be hot enough tomorrow.
I took a piece of heavy felted wool, doubled, taped and ace bandage on foot bottom so no weight is on injured part of heel. Feels so good to walk again with that soft pad.
Happy to hear you are enjoying your day.

Good morning 🙂

How is everybody today?
I've been thinking about the next phase of trying to get some clutter/squalor taken care of.
My latest plan has been to back off completely and allow him to do whatever without saying a single word.
His strange stacks of stuff have started falling over, the stuff now just laying where it lands, not cleaned up.
In the garage was a hoarded stack of food items that fell and spilled over right in front of the door, making it difficult to enter the garage since you now have to try to get past the mess of broken jars & bottles and cans and packages.
Beside his desk in his bedroom was a stack/tower of dirty/used food containers and dishes along with the bones & scraps of food.
That fell over and now the stuff is all in a big heap on the floor area beside the desk/chair.
His bedding has not been washed in many many months and there are dirty clothes everywhere, except in his hamper.
What I am hoping is that he gets miserable enough to want to change.
To start tackling this squalor all on his own.
When he gets ants he will tell me to fix it. My plan is to tell him that he has to fix it by cleaning and decluttering.
In the meantime I will continue maintaining and defending my no clutter zones and should the day ever come that he decides all on his own to fix this mess I will happily help him by washing his laundry and handing him the proper cleaning products to do the jobs.

So, my plan for today is to enjoy the sunshine, read, do bead work and play with the cats. 😀
Next week I will start on my own Spring cleaning and window washing.

Happy Tuesday everybody! 😀

I read all the posts from yesterday and I want to make sooo many comments. But for the sake of time right now, I will make just two for the moment: I love how you "tricked yourself" into doing the dishes, Diane. Fun! And yea, Roxie, for the chance to get the hard cast off!

I eventually did all my goals from yesterday except for one, and I am moving that goal to another day for reasons that I consider legitimate (i.e. not just procrastinating). I did put off the paperwork goal the very end of the day, but I'm glad I did do it. As it turned out, there was a new and important bill in my stack that needed to be dealt with by May 1 that I didn't realize was there (one that's not among the "routine bills" I receive), and I got that taken care of. Once again, if I hadn't created that specific "paperwork goal" for yesterday and hadn't posted it here, I probably wouldn't have worked on the paperwork at all and wouldn't have noticed that bill. Yea for the message board!

One positive thing about the day is that I found the source of one of the water/flooding issues I've been having recently. I reported it to the office, and a maintenance guy came over within a few hours and took care of it. Yea! I also made more progress on that bedroom I'd started working on.

You'd think my attitude would have been more positive, but I was actually in a discouraged mood during the day (and I got a headache that slowed me down, so that didn't help). Sometimes as we're working, things can look messier before they actually start looking better. (That's pointed out in the BIT book, and remembering that fact helped me some.) I think that business of things-looking-messier was part of my negative mood issue yesterday. I also didn't get as much sleep as I needed Sunday night. Being a bit tired from the start of the day didn't help my mood. It was helpful to keep in mind that this kind of fluctuating attitude (getting discouraged at times) is common for some of us, and I knew I could come to you all for encouragement. Just knowing that I could come here was good enough to help me not get overly discouraged.

Tuesday is a new day. I expect to post my goals later today. Happy Tuesday to all, and lots of hugs.

Such wonderful posts. Thank you. Yesterday I watched a long video and sat at my computer, sorting stacks of mail I'd left all over the desk. That felt good. Tomorrow I get my hard cast off and I can't wait to see what they say. Hugs to all and each.

Diane
(((HUGS)))
So sorry you hurt yourself again... 🙁
WAY TO GO!!!!
For the race challenges against the microwave! 😀
Keep the wounds clean, elevated for now and give them a chance to start healing.

good afternoon
I had coffee outside this morning then decided I would work in the yard. While cleaning out debris between flowers and raspberries, kept thinking I should be doing dishes. thought, I will go back to message board and say forget the dishes and I am going to just be outside today, I deserve it after all the rainy days. Well miracle of miracles, I went in to make tea and thought about last nights microwave conversation, and thought just set timer for 5 minutes and do dishes, no don;t want to, well how about 3 minutes, ok I can do that. It was amazing how many dishes can be washed in 3.5 minutes. took tea out, worked in yard, went back in and suggested, how about another 3 minutes doing dishes, after putting away clean ones, ok I said and I went after the 3rd 3 minute session all dishes are done. To celebrate had a smoothie then decided to mow lawn with my trusty push mower. Small amt of grass, no big deal, well I was hobbling on my toes and when I turned mower, somehow the blade whacked my big toe and split the nail from top to quick or nail bed, the bottom part right down the center, I had flip flops on, shoes hurt my heel. Well, it hurt but wanted to finish mowing, e when I looked down and saw the blood all over and split nail, I was not happy, rinsed it and put pressure tape on it to stop the bleeding, same foot as te heel of course. So I sat down in yard and clipped edges of grass, I was afraid to use weed whacker, could lose a foot!! I was so excited I tricked myself into doing dishes, thought it was a great day!! Got most plants watered. Wind was calm for a change so was able to get lots done even though chilly. Then the toe, toe is now elevated. If only I could have a hug from Tillie, I could probably clean bathroom, may wait until tomorrow. Enjoyed the chat last night about just starting stuff, not waiting until you feel like doing it, or dishes would still be on counter.

Good afternoon 🙂

So wonderful to read such positive feedback on last night's chat! 😀
It was magical for sure.
I feel that we all made GREAT PROGRESS.
Everybody was so open and honest and speaking up.
Asking each other very good questions and making excellent suggestions on ways to solve different issues.
By working together like this we all gain so much insight and wisdom from each other.
In my medical education one of the most important things I was taught is that learning something is good but when we share our knowledge by teaching others what we learned we gain even more indepth knowledge of the subject.
This is what happened last night. We all gained so much more by sharing all our combined knowledge.
(((hugs)))

I'm naturally frugal, so if I were to consider "one in, three out", I would optimize it to "zero in, two out" and save the purchase price!

Howdy! Last night's chat was awesome! I'm so very glad I got to meet all of you. I learned quite a bit about myself and other people who share such very similar problems to mine from both sides and it was absolutely reaffirming for me knowing that I'm not just lazy, messy, and alone in the problems I have. after last night's wonderful conversation I took the time to write out a loose schedule for the day based on one hour time periods per task. I know I won't complete them and I have to tell myself that's okay. After reading through a lot of the comments and reading other people's stories I can see that micro management is not just my own deadfall but many of yours as well. by giving myself a time period and not a detailed list for the day i hope to chip away at the daily tasks I've been neglecting while stressing over and preparing for our move.
I got up early this morning and had a relatively stress free morning with the kids, a win in itself, and am now taking a couple of hours to get relaxed and grounded before I start my tasks. Up next is one hour of dishes, one hour of boxing things for the move, one hour on floors, and then another hour of boxes. I've given myself plenty of room for switching and putting away laundry, meals and rest periods between tasks. I'll keep at it and things will be okay. Thanks again for last night 🙂

Goodmorning all. Chat was so great last night, such a big group, so happy we have 15 minutes per person so everyone gets a chance to talk. I like to spend my 15 on clutter cleaning issues, not my social life usually. Last night it helped so much to discuss my anxiety about buying my friends place. This morning it was so clear to me that it is too big and not right for me, mostly wanted to get her out of debt. I told her at 7am this instead of waiting and fretting. She was fine with it, a bit disappointed. Until I have entire place clutter free, no changes needed. I am enjoying my living room so much again. New paint, blinds, clean windows and screens, nice colors and art I love, just so comfy and feels like me.
In chat last night a person mentioned craft crap, one of my nemesis. I used to make jewelry and still have all the supplies, then fabric art, then felted wool, just so much. During chat, I wondered which things I will go back to once craft room is organized and the need to let go of things I will never use. Decision making has been difficult. A cluttered house and a cluttered mind makes decision making almost impossible. I saw how much having serene living room helped with my decision yesterday and today about friends home. It gives me new hope at how life will be when all areas are clutter free.
I slept so much better last night and feel mentally refreshed, heel still hurts too much to walk on, been walking on toes. Thanks for kind support this week and last night. Today I feel so full of gratitude for our group and hope that we can all have more comfortable lives.
Barb or LR mentioned the book saying we have difficulty seeing big categories, and try to organize things too exactly. This has made a huge impact on me. I spend hours organizing things like screws, beads etc. specifically by color, or size or type, when I really need to do for now is group by what I will keep and toss and donate. Micro sorting takes so much time and space and then when I want a particular screw, cant remember which divider box it is in.
This morning I am going to finish dishes, clean counters, enjoy all the clean areas!!!!!!!!!! Then work on cleaning bathroom, just maintenance really. Then take time to work in yard a little.
Maybe 15 minutes in craft room would be good. Since I did too much last week and heel hurts today, will try to remind myself it is ok to just relax and appreciate my clean areas. Thanks again for all the posts and encouragement.

No idea what to say today other than how much I appreciate your individual posts. Helps me so much. Hugs hugs hugs

Barb: You said, "I want to feel good on my vacation and neat, clean clothing helps me start the day with a good attitude about myself." Sounds like a good, healthy attitude! You mentioned not filling your suitcases with more stuff to bring home and clutter things up. That sounds great, too! I read in an Aslett book about what he called "Junk Danger Zones" (or something like that). One of them involved conventions and vacation trips. After reading what he had to say about that, I started paying more attention to what I was acquiring when I went to conventions or workshops, especially when going to a convention "exhibit hall." For the most part, I stopped picking up all those freebies, brochures, etc. that the exhibitors were so ready to hand out, unless it was something I could really use at the time (an extra writing pen, perhaps). It felt good to start changing that old acquiring habit.
I've heard you all speak of the one-in, one-out rule. I like the idea that was mentioned last night that for some of us, we might need a one-in, three-out rule! I think that I may need at least a "two-out" rule for myself when it comes to some things!

Roxie and Diane: I hope both of you are feeling better! Glad you are taking steps to take care of yourselves.

My goals for today: Clear off and maybe clean up back patio (just clearing off is good for starters), add to my gratitude list, work more on my plan for this week, work in my BIT book, spend fifteen more minutes on my bedroom, and spend at least 20 minutes on organizing and dealing with my paperwork.

Have a great day, everyone!

Good morning, all.
Last night's online support chat was so interesting. The mix of new and long time members, hoarders and housemates of hoarders gave us all the opportunity to see this problem from many points of view. I know it is good for me to view it from a broader perspective rather than just my little hole in the ground.
Please don't criticize Cory for not attending the support groups. He worked the instant chat line Saturday. He needs family time on Sunday nights. I admire him for his ability to juggle the pressures of an expanding business and still take time for himself and his family. It shows his trust in all of us that we can handle the discussion time without him. And he knows that if we need to contact him about a problem that we will do that.

It is raining today. That means a day dedicated to working indoors.
The main focus will be clothing. I need to catch up on laundry and evaluate my clothing (wash, put away, donate, discard) . The first priority is getting 90-100% of the laundry done. The second priority is planning what clothing I will take on my trip.
The packing guide says to pack ratty underwear and then discard it as it is worn to leave more room in the suitcase for souvenirs, etc. I just can't do that. 1) My mama taught me to always wear clean, neat underwear in case I was in an accident. (Like the EMTs are going to be looking at my underwear.) But old habits die hard. 2) I want to feel good on my vacation and neat, clean clothing helps me start the day with a good attitude about myself. 3) I don't need to fill my suitcase with more "stuff" to bring home to clutter my house. This trip will be a test of acquisition restraint.
i bought strawberries and rhubarb to make a cobbler. Cooking and eating it will be my reward for today.
Have a great day, everyone.