Thank you Diane 🙂
I have been putting cold on it off & on since it happened.
A few years back I was having one broken tooth after another.
I was so miserable with the pain and all the time spent in the dental chair being tortured.
One by one, the teeth were repaired.
At the time I felt it was not worth it to bother trying to do anything about it, wanted to just give up on life and call it a day.
Now, I am so happy that I put up with all the dental visits and torture because for quite a few years now I have been out of pain and the constant fear of chewing food.
(((hugs))) wishing the same for you.
I have a huge irrational fear of being touched by humans and had to overcome so much to allow the work to be done.

Good work LR, in many areas. Thanks Dianne and Tillie and LR, difficult day today. Wikepedia's definition sounded a bit harsh to me today. I agree we need to be supportive for any sign of willingness to take the steps on the road to recovery from hoarding.
I made very few steps today, just a mess of a day. So now I am cooking soup, mushy soup, no chewing have to avoid pressure on that tooth. Both dogs are sleeping so I have a break.
A good nights sleep and I will be more positive tomorrow.
Tillie did you put cold on that arm? Sorry you had such a reaction to sting.

Hi, all. I have a lot to do before the evening is over to meet my goals for today, but I want to push it and try to meet them. If I didn't have you all to encourage me, I assure you I would put them off until another time. So far, I have dried my clothes, consulted my to-do list for the week, done some bill paying, and worked a lot in the BIT book.

By the time I was working in the BIT book (late afternoon), I was very non-energetic. I was at a part where I was supposed to be rating my responses to certain questions on a 1 to 7 basis or on a true/false basis, and I got to the point of feeling like I didn't care about anything. I don't mean that in a depressed sort of way, just in a "blah" sort of way. I think some of my answers got skewed as a result, so I think that's a good lesson to me to work on it in shorter segments of time or earlier in the day. (I'm more of a morning person.)

Fortunately, my mood doesn't matter when it comes to putting up my laundry. I can feel peppy and happy or I can feel bummed out . . . the laundry can still get put away just as completely. So I'll do that next, with perhaps a break for the ice cream I purchased yesterday.

Diane, your vine-pulling reminds me of my weed-whacking. Weed-whacking is a great exercise for me when I'm angry or frustrated. I've gotten a lot "out of my system" the past few years by whacking at weeds. Your tooth situation also reminds me of a dental matter years ago. I wore braces for a long time, and my front teeth ended up being discolored by the time I got the braces off. The discolorations were exactly where the bands had been. The orthodontist told my parents he was taking a leave from his practice and was leaving my follow-up care in the hands of my regular dentist. He didn't own up to any connection between the discoloration and the braces, and neither (at least not for many years) did my regular dentist. (I asked my regular dentist . . . he denied.) It was probably a decade later before the regular dentist admitted a connection. (I guess he felt I wasn't going to sue anyone by that point.) I felt better about him as a person that he finally "fessed up," but that didn't change my teeth. By that point, I'd lived with ugly front teeth for a long time. (It wasn't just my imagination that they were ugly; little kids, known for their ability to be candid, would make comments about those teeth.)

Basically, yes . . . I think the orthodontist and the dentist were both cowards. I don't think either of those docs wanted my teeth to end up looking bad. (Sometimes, things just happen.) But I wish I could have at least gotten an "I'm sorry" out of one of them. Eventually, I was able to pay a different dentist to do a procedure that fixed the looks of those teeth, and I never went back to that old family dentist. (Don't know what ever happened to the orthodontist.)

I guess I'm just saying, Diane, that you're not the first to get dumped by someone in the dental profession. That doesn't mean you did anything wrong. I'm sorry you're having to deal with the situation and having to find a different dentist to do the work. Bummer!

Well, I guess I'd better get to my laundry doin's and to finishing my other goals.

Huge hugs to all.

wikipedia's definition is not mydefinition of tough love.
If we just sit here and never speak up we can never help anyone.
It is "enabling" to tell a person that their self destructive behavour is fine and dandy.
I never said it was alright to belittle and put down anybody.
Negativity never works, but most times honesty does.

The wasps here are "yellow Jackets"

The dentist is a big butthead to dump you as a patient just because you questioned him.
A patient should always be able to question their doctor without the doctor getting their panties all in a bunch.

Not all black widow spiders are black or clearly marked with the red.

spiders

{{{{Diane}}}}

Re: tough love ~

I am in such despair right now, just feel like such a failure. Got letter back from dentist and he said he did not pull wrong tooth or break other tooth and I will no longer be able to get care from him. I ripped out a bunch of dead vines as I processed it. It was so clear to me why I isolate, failing in relationships over and over and the pain and hopelessness after every failed attempt. I felt like why even try anymore, so sad. Then I read your posts, LR so nice you spoke of isolation, made me feel less alone and a little less hopeless. I never learned people skills, and may never learn them well enough to communicate without blowing it. I can see why the hoard gave me a reason not to be out with people, shame of hoard, and they might find out. truth is the shame of saying things harshly made me choose stuff over people, I have been beat up and hurt so much over my life, that is what I know. Even though I think I have improved and wrote carefully to the dentist, the response was a clear indication of my failure once again. I feel really sad and not sure what to do to feel better. The rest of the story, I thought I could dog sit 2 dogs from different homes, well they hate each other and I have to keep them separate at all times, which has taken hours to figure out ways that they can't get at each other, the bigger one has knocked down fencing and barriers to get at the smaller one, smaller one is more vicious.
so of course I think it is my fault, if I was a better person they would get along, no way, I have really done everything right to make them both feel loved and at home. I have so far succeeded but will never do this again, one dog at a time. Also poor sleep last night due to 2 dogs and tooth pain. and to think, I was on top of the world a few days ago and today I feel like life is too hard to go on

Hullo! Yesterday I was so glad to read about all your doing and this morning too. Diane and Roxie, I'm so glad you guys are focusing on harmful spiders and know which are the ones to look out for. Spiders freak me out as do bees but I've made it a point to know my enemy. I find it admirable that many of you have a no kill policy when it comes to these fascinating but fearsome little beasties.
One thing many of you may not know is that the Giant House Spider http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_house_spider is often confused with Brown Recluse and can actually be a benificial spider to find around your home as they compete with and often deter Brown Recluse from their territory.
Tillie, please be careful near those wasps. Depending on the species you may be in trouble dealing with them. paper and mud wasps are fairly easily dealt with just by removing the nests, but if it's a yellow jacket (ground wasp)you should be aware they will swarm and bite/sting en masse. Bald faced Hornets are also scary to deal with if you have them there as well.

Yesterday I didn't do much, but i did get the bathroom cleaned out and planned my attack on the house for today, unfortunately it's much stow n go, but it's only for the weekend. Good luck to all of you and I hope to see you Sunday night 🙂

Good morning 🙂

WAY TO GO!!! everybody for making plans and getting so much accomplished!!! 😀

Even just thinking about things is accomplishing.
Everything first starts in our selves, our thoughts & emotions.
Then we can start to make them happen in our lives.
Until we first imagine them, they cannot happen.

Sometimes people come here and refuse to accept any of our help. They spend a lot of time and energy coming up with excuses as to why they cannot even attempt to try any of our suggestions.
They just want us to validate all their excuses.
It becomes very tiring and frustrating.
They leave us with only one option, "tough love".
We tell them the unvarnished truth about their constant denial and refusal to help themselves.
So very sorry if this offends anybody here, but they really do need to hear it.
Maybe someday they will accept it. (((hugs)))

Taking today very slow.
The muscles in my legs are very sore and tight and I walk funny now.
The wasp sting has half my arm swollen, red & itchy even though I am loaded with Benadryl.
Finally decided it will not get cold enough any more to need my down comforter so I washed it and have it out drying on the line.
Need to do kitty related stuff.
Going to write up a grocery list so I will be ready if I get to the store tomorrow.
Have a book to read today.
My plan for this weekend is to force him to raise the hoods on all his vehicles so that I can kill all the wasps that are nesting in there.
You can see them all going in and out of those locations.
Last weekend he refused to do this but I am very serious now.

Keep up all the Great Work 🙂

dr phil comment page

LR, I just saw your post. I'll look forward to reading your thoughts on isolation when you write them later.

Hey Billie, good to see you posting. Congrats on all the table clearing/cleaning. Sounds lovely now. 🙂

Good morning, everyone.

Following up from yesterday: I didn't work in my BIT book as planned, nor did I get my laundry dried. I will move both of those plans to today. I did run dishwasher, washed more clothes, made my doc appointment, got prescriptions filled, and I did a lot of reflecting on some things my doc and I discussed. (My "isolating" came into the discussion.) Because my doc is truly a family doctor and has been my doc off and on for over twenty-five years, he has seen me in life periods when I was much less of an isolated person. I have been doing a lot of thinking about what contributes to my isolation (it isn't all just my "stuff," although my "stuff" contributes to it) and what I am and am not doing to move back out of isolation. Maybe I'll write some later on that topic in the "spirituality" thread.

Tillie, one of my fond childhood memories is being at my grandparents' house out in the country and being around their evaporative cooler. I get "warm" feelings thinking about your "cooler."

Plans for today: Pay some bills, get laundry dried and put away, meet with some people at noon today, work in my BIT book for at least 15 minutes, spend at least ten minutes on organizing my paperwork, add to my gratitude list, and review my "plans for the week" that I wrote out several days ago. As with certain other days this week, I may have to adjust my plans, depending on how I am feeling physically. (That's OK.)

I'm glad that you share your days and your wonderful self with us, Roxie. Lots of hugs. As a small side note, I'm glad you're going to look into those masks. I think that wearing masks more often has helped me with all kinds of physical things lately (headaches and allergies, especially). I need to keep that in mind today.

Hugs to all.

Not much to say, but I wanted to check in to let you know how much I appreciate your posts and your thoughts about things. I get it, I really do.

HI 😀

After all those hours spent yesterday doing yardwork my body hurts.
lol
Anyways, got up early again today, took aspirin with my tea, dressed, put on sunscreen, hat and long sleeve shirt over my dress and went back out there.
Pruned low hanging branches from trees, trimmed the mountain laurels, fertilizer & compost to everything, watered everything.
My body still hurts, but only when I move.
Came back inside about noon and did stuff in here then took a shower and washed my hair.
Then did three loads of laundry, dried it on the clothes line, folded & put it all away.
It got hot here today.
Late afternoon we got the evaporative cooler up and running. Nice 😀
Had my dinner all made up already and in the fridge.
Rice seasoned with curry, sausages and mixed vegetables.
Lounging here in my bed all made up with freshly washed, sun dried linens. 🙂
I am exhausted.
Oh Yeah, made a point of finding out what channel & time Dr Phil is on here.
Watched it. Wanted to educate that woman's children and wanted to punch that husband.
Taking tomorrow off. Would do a pedicure if I could bend over without pain. lol
Almost falling asleep at the keyboard.
I am happy, I got to go outside finally. 🙂

Ok..trying this again....
Hello to....my helpful, enouraging caring and fun friends.

Well I am finally back on the boards again.
Tuesday night I made a start at packing up my Easter Village decoration that were on my dining room table. Wednesday I also spent sometime on them.
Today I finished packing them and took them to their place in the basement. Now my brass and glass dining room table is all cleared and clean 🙂
Today I cleared and cleaned the brass and glass coffee table that is in the living room. Then from under the table I took 4 pair of shoes and 1 pair of boots and put them upstairs in the closet. Also washed 2 loads of laundry.

Yesterday I completed the finishing touches on the fish aquarium(it is located in a corner of the dining room)and I am enjoying it very much now:) I am hoping that this will keep me motivated to reclaim more and more of my dining room, but of course a little bit at a time and reclaim more of my living room a little bit at a time.
Today(it's 9:30-Central right now) I would like to get my dishes washed, that have been setting for a week. My plan is to wash them during the commercials...I have done them that way many times.
Live..Laugh..Love..I'll be back tomorrow...?

Bummer billie.T
I called and made dental appt. First available was 8am June 2nd.
It is hot today so been just hanging out. Turned on Dr. Phil and saw the last 1/2 of hoarder woman, with her family who tried to "help" then went to Dr. Phil.com and read the transcript of first 1/2 of show. Startling how much I could relate to her thinking. She likes to "fix" things so has lots of stuff to make into other things, sees herself as creative. Has trouble throwing anything away. Looking at her house, I could clearly see that it was mostly junk, hope it will help me see my junk as junk. A hoarder can rationalize lots of reasons to keep stuff, all the possibilities----. She is a dentist and works at home, in a 9,000 square ft house. I have a 900 sq ft home, but much of her thinking was so familiar. It was emotional seeing how sick our thinking is about the potential creativity.

Well Crap! I had just spent a good part of an hour composing a quite lenthy post on here and OOPS!...it did not go through. So I am going to write it down on paper first before I try again....

Bad tooth ache again today, have I called to make an appt? No of course not, my goal today is to make appt. Have not heard back from first dentist, was trying to wait until he responded, but must just go to 2nd dentist.
weird morning, I am so used to having to pick stuff up before people come over, but did that yesterday. Feel a little lost with time to relax before friend comes over at 2pm. Did go into a bedroom, did very little, felt overwhelmed, shut door. Next time in will have to take timer, no way can I face that mound without knowing 15 minutes and I can leave it.
Finally took shower and washed hair, way overdo.
2 loads laundry today, one is spinning now, then will hang out.
I really dislike making appts, but I will when I sign off.
Nice hearing from you this morning, health problems can really interfere as stated by others. Cant imagine not being able to breathe, so sorry you have to deal with it.

Candy, your list as a mom of small kids is so true!! I remember those days. I saw your before and after videos. You have done an AMAZING job!!!!! Wow, I'll take my excitement at your accomplishments and use it to get more done here today, thanks! Eva is the most adorable little girl throwing everything out, hahaha!

Good morning, everyone! Following up on last night: I did get a bit more work done on my BIT book tasks, and I got the dishwasher almost ready to run (ran it this morning). Hit the sack early to make sure I could make morning doc appointment today (routine appointment).

Part of my plans for today are to find a particular paper I want to take with me to my morning doc appointment (it's within a foot or two of a certain area, so I don't have too much searching to do to find it), add to my gratitude list, get some more clothes dried and put away, and work a little more in the BIT book. I may alter the schedule later on once I see how things go (and how long things go) at my doc appointment.

Roxie, I relate to the thing about having people in and out. In the past, one sure-fired way to fire up my cluttering behaviors has been to get isolated. On the other hand, the more people I have in and out, the more I clean. That being said, though, I realize that in the past, one thing that led to things getting disorganized was trying to rush and "hide" my piles of clutter before company would come. Since I didn't pull the clutter back out of its new "hiding spot" right away after the company left, I might later forget where I'd stashed it. That contributed to things getting lost/misplaced/disorganized. So I think it's more fair in my case to say that things got cleaner when more people were in and out, but having people in didn't necessarily in and of itself reduce my actual clutter level . . . for me. Hmmmm . . .

Hugs to all.

I had a very sweet gift from the man this morning. He had been up all night as usual, cooked food and all as usual, but this time he did all the dishes and put them away. I hope he keeps doing that. It's nice to wake up to not dishes. Does this mean I have to face my table now? Noooooooooooooooo But really yes it does and Tillie has spurred me on to do it and it must be done anyway. I do have some errands today so it might not happen yet because I need a good block of free time(what is that) to work. Coffee time and good morning to all:)

Finally the sun is trying to come out. It's a bit chilly, but I sat outside for a few minutes supervising the feral cats and the pushy raccoons. 🙂

Apparently I haven't posted in days. Hullo All, I'm sorry I missed last night's chat and hope to be back Sunday Night. things have suddenly gotten a lot more crazy. I made all that progress but then stalled hard these last few days. I have lots of excuses but the truth is I just feel like crap sometimes.
today I got a call from the real estate agent who's selling the house and she has to hold an open house this weekend. it seems like everytime i think no one else is going to be in here someone else shows up who's involved with the selling.
there are boxes of stuff everywhere and I'm just bloody tired. Last weekend we went to look at an apartment and decided against it. everytime we look at apartments we get frustrated by policies that are just aweful. Mostly pertaining to Cats which we have two of that are absolutely not parting with us :/ My mother is also in Denial of my problems and that's fun trying to explain to her that it really is a problem and not some minor quirk.... gah. on the upside i finally got a new pair of shoes. cute too.
Yesterday I started paring down my yarn collection.... i threw out some stuff and today i've determined not to keep anything too small for a project, too worn or old to make a saleable project from or anything I just don't like. wish me luck. Goodnight folks, may you all have a good day tomorrow

Hi, everyone. Wow . . . lots of posts! I have so much I'd like to comment on, but for time's sake, I won't for now (except to say that I did have a LOL moment reading your list, Candy). Here's my personal LOL moment. I was scrolling down to refresh my memory about the goals I posted for today (to see which ones I still needed to finish). I couldn't find them! Then I remembered that something came up after I wrote them out, and I never did post them! Here goes:

Yesterday didn't go quite as planned. (That's turning out to be a theme for me lately.) I did get a fair amount done yesterday morning: a little work on my BIT book exercises, a decent amount of paperwork, and another thing or two. While I was out and about midday, I started feeling kind of under the weather. Came home, took a late afternoon nap and woke up just in time for the chat. (Yea!) Felt better by then. Decided some of my planned goals would have to be shifted to today or tomorrow.

If I'm feeling well enough today, I plan to work on my kitchen (clean some countertops, unload dishwasher, etc.). I'll also see which of yesterday's undone goals I can work on today. I am getting together later today with friends, so my time frame for working on things is a little more uncertain than on other days. I'll hold my plans kind of loosely today.

When it comes to spiders, I found an interesting technique a few years ago. Yes, I do sometimes do the glass with cardboard thing. Let me say up front that I don't always rescue spiders, but sometimes I do. Either way, it scares me when they run fast, and I definitely don't like to step on them (on them or on any kind of bug, really). I learned years ago that if a spider is in the sink or bathroom or something and I want to immobilize it, I can spray shaving cream on it. That often keeps the spider in place until I can relocate it to wherever.

Hugs to all.

Already Wednesday, and my dog friend is here with me. When his owner took a tour of all the work I have done in yard and deck and inside she was very amazed, helped me see how much progress I really have made. She noticed many artsy touches I forgot I did recently, since her last visit. It was very nice to have her appreciate how much better everything is, except off limits rooms. She kept saying, there is so much more room now.
From 7am-1pm I cleaned kitchen, bathroom, dusted everything, hung up all clothes and put most away. Did dishes, washed dog dishes and filled. swept deck and dogs special area outside. I was so focused, nothing like the pressure of a persons visit to get me moving and finishing lots of details that I never got around to. Looks so peaceful now. She asked if I ever just sit and enjoy what I have accomplished. She also reminded me that I can stop and enjoy what is finished, even before everything is finished. She said lots of people die before finishing everything. She said there is lots to love about me and my talents even if 2 rooms and garage have unfinished work. I feel so much better and am enjoying my living space so much more right now.
When there is conflict, I like to disappear but forced myself to sign on today, without this group, there is no way I could keep moving ahead with progress. Tillie, sounds fun and so nice with sun and no wind. Thanks for the patio info,, love the simplicity of many. Sorry about bite, ouch. I feel like your mother telling you to not overdo today in the heat, and plenty of fluids.

Since the hand I hurt the other week is finally not so painful
today I got up and got out early and did a LOT of weeding & thinning out in my flower/herb garden.
Still have a small section to do but it got hot out there.
Came inside, washed up my hands and face, ate some lunch and am planning to rest up till about 3:00pm and go back out to finish that small section.
Scooter helped me a lot by periodically leaping out and attacking my hands as I worked.
A wasp stung me on the wrist. 🙁
Thinking that tomorrow morning might be a good time to do some pruning on the trees & bushes.
Also planning to spread some compost & steer manure around and water.
I love warm sunny days with no wind, only a gentle breeze. 😀

Hello beloved friends. I thought it would be neat to give you an example of a basic to do list. This is not a list I usually write down but it is what ends up happening.

feed kids- about once an hour and sometimes FOR an hour.
change diapers- about every hour to two. This also includes soaking and washing poopy ones which takes altogether an hour and a half to two hours out of the day.
kids play- outside, inside, at the park, at a friends. This must happen to make naps happen. And naps must happen.
quiet time- when all children are leaving you alone via naps or otherwise and I get to sit and stare into the distance absorbing peace and take a deep breathe for the next round.

You can laugh it's meant to be funny but based on reality for a mom with little ones 🙂

Roxie, I only chatted a few times when I first came here. It wasn't for me. When Diane said, yes she was referring to me and Dave about disappearing I assumed it was me she was referring to about thinking she made harsh comments in a posting situation. My mistake big time. I know by not chatting I miss out on another whole area of relationships. You know what they say about assumptions. My bad.

Have a great day everyone.

a cluttered life