Roxie, I appreciate your story, could relate to it. Thanks Susan, yes part of family.
Today I worked all day inside. I cleaned 1/2 the bedroom, obviously the first time in years, the dirt was so thick, it is the last filthy room to clean. I took storm window off and cleaned it, moved everything on that 1/2 of room and cleaned behind it, and lots of stuff is in living room to go through. After making space and cleaning, moved day bed in there, it is so much more comfortable. There is no way to organize all that crap so have to be ruthless and fill more bags for give away. I broke down and cried at the amount of dust, wiped dust off wall, and wondered how I survived sleeping in that filth. I called a friend when I felt overwhelmed, she said just finish the 1/2 you are working on so you can sleep in there, and can finish tomorrow. So I hauled excess stuff out, put bed in and made it with clean stuff, think I will sleep better tonight after working that hard all day and bigger bed. the child sized bed is now in living room and is so much better in here, it is small and looks cute with pillows against wall, put extra foam pads on it so it is up high enough so I can see the view out window. I feel so good about the progress I made. The angst I feel has made me want to move and change things. Loosing my dog has made me feel so much pain, it has added a new perspective on how little value my hoard has, and I want people to be able to come in more than stuff. I feel empty and sad, and very aware shopping can not fill the void I feel.

Hi Roxie 🙂
the rainbow bridge website makes me cry buckets of tears, but sometimes a good cry is what we need. 😉

Hi SusanL 🙂
Thanks for the update and
WAY TO GO! 😀
for getting the basement decluttered!!!

Diane, I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your pet. Pets are members of the family in our house. (((gentle hug)))

Been working on a basement cleanout. Good grief why did we let all that stuff come into the house. Talking decades of random things. Each item probably seemed like a good idea at the time. The young men doing the hauling were at the house all day, offered to feed them lunch. My cooking specialty: ordering pizza.

This cleanout was a long time coming. I've been picking away at it for 2-3 years now a little at a time, getting the "good" stuff out and putting it away or donating. I never thought I would be that kind of person, to have so much junk in the house. At least I didn't leave it all for the kids to sort after I'm gone. That would not be much of a gift.

Folks, keep up the good work, your stories have greatly encouraged me!

Oh, carp, I am sitting here crying since I took a side trip to the website Tillie posted for you, Diane. I was reading about the very recent loss of a cat named Isabella and have tears running down my face. I don't remember the last time I cried. So my own long-ago grief got stirred up. I don't mind. Now I'm with you in grieving Molly, and that is a good thing.

Thanks Tillie, especially telling me about your focus on your dog. I was criticizing myself for focusing so much on her, so was good to realize, that is what we do when they need us. And all the things you have said about taking care of yourself in the past. gives me permission to focus on taking care of myself.
Yes, good no infection, although the pain tells me will need to have it pulled, at least this dentist is $120 instead of $360 for surgical removal. Plus the $69 I paid yesterday for exam, xrays. So $189 instead of $364. To me that is a huge difference. And he was so nice as was his staff. The assistant used to work for my expensive dentist and she was reassuring. the drive is a long one, but a pretty drive. I told my friend that lives near dentist, that I was going at 11, she came to dentist and took me to coffee at the coffee shop there, I felt so comforted, and she didn't know about Molly. Life is going to be better, just aches now.

Good morning 🙂

Rained constantly yesterday from afternoon through the night but some time after I fell asleep it snowed! 😀

Hi Diane 🙂
Glad you found some comfort in The Rainbow Bridge.
Happy you saw the DDS and have no signs of infection.
Be gentle on yourself and give yourself time and space for grieving. (((HUGS)))

Hi MayMay 🙂
Hi Roxie 🙂

Hi Karl 🙂
To keep him from having every dish laying dirty in his bedroom, years ago I limited him to only having 4 plates, bowls, forks, spoons & knives that he is allowed to ever use.
When I am washing dishes I know just by looking how many of each he has out.
I have him go find them and bring them to the kitchen to be washed.
He has managed to lose a lot of them, never to be found again, and I have had to buy him more dishes & silverware.
Any way, his cups and glasses are very special to him since they have pictures of Star Trek or Starwars or some special saying printed on them.
I used to ask him to bring them to the sink but he always said "NO" that they were fine.
He has been very resistant to allowing them to be washed and I never pushed it because he would have had a melt down and gotten extremely angry.
When he came home yesterday I had the glasses & cups all sanitary and shining clean, sitting in a clear area of his bedroom floor.
He said nothing. Was more quiet than usual all night. But I think he will get over it soon enough.

Hi again Diane 🙂
I see you have posted before I finished writing this post.
It took me a long time to get used to living without my blind cockerspaniel Windy.
Like you with Molly, I was always looking after her and trying to meet her needs to keep her safe and happy.
Never realized just how much of my time, energy and thinking was dedicated to her care.
(((HUGS)))

Today I will do the usual daily stuff.
The cats are all acting up because when they look out the windows they see snow.
Then I will get back to working hard (playing) in my little room.

Thanks maymay, for your kind words, and yes it is amazing how much comfort and understanding I got from reading posts from other grieving people. Realize it is normal to feel such pain, and now have to call two friends who lost pets last year, and tell them I am so sorry I wasn't more of a support to them, just thought since they had husbands, didn't need support, now I realize the husband is in grief too.

Karl and Tillie, it put a smile on my face this morning thinking of those moldy glasses he was drinking out of. No surprise he has intestinal distress.
I woke up too early with abdominal distress just from stress, but was great reading your posts.
Today I am planning on making soup. I think it is 1 degree yes, one degree, kept wood fire going all night. Water is still flowing, left a light on in little room outside where pipe comes above ground. Plan to wrap it with more insulation today. Also will check outside faucet, it is wrapped with insulation and bucket over it, black rocks around it. I am planning to stay home all day and work inside. Plan to take all the junk out of little bedroom, clean it thourouly and put a bed in there, now just has a child bed in their because had to have room for molly's bed. I will take the child sized bed out and put the daybed in there from living room. Had daybed in living room so Molly could lay with me while reading or watching tv. now am using little couch to sit in. I don't have a dining room table in here, no room, so could actually put table back in here if I want, or maybe just enjoy having empty space. I am starting to realize, without Molly, I have to think what is best for me, not used to that at all. I left tv remote on couch arm last night and now am surprised it is still there. Never could leave it in reach, Molly would chew it, the simple things I am grateful for, is what I am planning to focus on today. I am grateful to be able to relax today, I was always on red alert watching her to see where she might pee or puke and to comfort her, it was more exhausting than I realized. I still have that feeling of urgency, then I remind myself, she is no longer here, I can relax. I see the real potential to clean and organize things and have things stay much cleaner now
Gives me hope to focus on the positive and also spend some time thanking her for all the affection she brought into my life. she is missed

Tillie,
discovered 10 cups and glasses that are all filthy, moldy and full of mistery residue that he has been drinking from.
Sweet crispy walnuts! Yes, I'd say that could explain the stomach problems. Good thing you're taking care of it -- sounds like you should check on him more often!

Hi everyone! 🙂

Just checking in to see how everyone is doing. I feel kind of guilty that I haven't been on lately. 🙁

Diane,
I am so sorry to hear about Molly. I'm glad that reading all those posts from the grief website has helped. Way to go on vacuuming the living room. And I'm sorry to hear that your tooth is in pain. (((HUGS)))

Tillie thank you so much for the rainbow bridge pet grief website. I read many posts and it helped me so much, felt less alone reading so many posts of people grieving the loss of their pets. One guy said he lost his bichon frise at 13 years 4 months, for some reason that was so comforting, Molly was 14 & 1/2 y.o. I kept remembering hearing bichons can live to 18 yo, so reading his post let me know it was ok that she died at 14. I read for a few hours on that site, shed so many tears, and felt some relief. This morning finished packing 2 large garbage bags of donations from in house those bags are in my trunk. I packed her bed and other things in a bag that is in the garage now. I vacuumed the living room tonight, tried to get up all of her hair, she didn't shed, but did leave a few hairs when she would rub on the carpet to scratch her back and ears. went to the dentist, it was difficult to diagnose a crack in the tooth from xray, so going by symptoms he felt it was a fracture, didn't have time to pull today, said to come back in a week or two if the pain continues. Because it is a huge crown put on screws or pins and has root canal, can not be replaced, it will splinter when crown is taken off, so will have to be pulled. there was no obvious infection he said, so should be ok to wait. there is a slim possibility it is a strained tendon?? Never heard that before. since I stopped chewing on that side and take aleve, it is just a mild nagging pain.
It is supposed to be 9 degrees tonight, oh that is so cold.
Thank you for your kind words Karl, tillie billie, ali dianne and roxie, it means so much to read what you say.

((Diane))) I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to Molly, but I firmly believe it was the right time and her choice at this point. You gave her a wonderful life of being loved, and can rest easy with that in the midst of your grief. It takes time to get over the worst of the grief, but you will. Remember, though she's gone, she loves you still and understands.

(((( ))))

{{{Dearest Diane}}}

My heart goes out to you.....

So sorry for the loss of your little companion diane. My heartfelt thoughts are with you.

Good morning

Karl,
Good to hear your progress about the room.
What else is happening in your neck of the woods?

A gentle rain fell all night long, disturbing my sleep.
Woke up to a bright sunny morning.
Planning to continue to play, I mean work hard in my room.
Yesterday I altered/repaired/modified seven articles of my clothing. 😀

My hoarder has been having some very distressing GI upsets the last few days.
I got brave enough to enter his bedroom this morning and discovered 10 cups and glasses that are all filthy, moldy and full of mistery residue that he has been drinking from.
Thinking that this just may be the cause of his problems I now have those drinking vessels soaking in hot soapy water in the sink and plan to bleach them too.
I donno, what do YOU think ? ; D

I didn't hear from the gamer friend until Monday night -- she said she hadn't cleaned out the guest room yet. I should be able to stop in sometime this week. I haven't discussed a move-out day with the landlords yet.

I'm sorry for your loss, diane. I'm sure you have many wonderful memories of the time you and your pet were able to spend together.

diane,
I am so sorry to hear about Molly. I believe our pets let us know when it is time to help them pass on but the loss you are left with is huge. I know she was a very special friend as well as a very special dog and will be part of your heart forever. Take care of yourself. Sending you a big hug.

the rainbow bridge

My Dearest Diane,
My heart breaks for you.
Wish I had wise words of wisdom that could ease your pain and fill your loneliness.

Sincerely, (((HUGS)))

Got up early and worked on kitchen, all dishes done, counters cleaned. Molly finally got up at about 10 and started throwing up, crying, legs went out, had to make the decision to put her to sleep at 2pm. I have been so sad all day, like I am grieving in every cell of my body. It is so painful, can't describe the pain. I have been washing all of her blankets, towels that she peed and threw up on. Out of laundry detergent, did get most washed before ran out. I bagged up some of her stuff to give away, and saved a few things. Washed her dishes. So painful, tears and more tears.

Just a quick checkin. I just woke up at 4pm. Ugh. I got what I needed to get done yesterday and I expect to do so again today.

Hugs to all

Good morning everybody 😀

Hi Jess 🙂
Happy to hear you are alright (((hugs))).

Hi Karl 🙂
Any news about the room to rent?
How are you doing? We worry about you. (((hugs)))

Was happily playing all yesterday morning. Had my stuff out and sorted as I made plans for my sewing projects.
Then at 12:30pm my hoarder came home from work. Just took the afternoon off. 🙁
Got in my way & I had to put all my stuff away.
Anyways......
Today is a fresh new day and I will now continue with my selfish self centered plans. ;/
But first things first...
cats have been fed, given fresh water.
Need to scoop litter boxes
take out trash
sweep
tidy up bathroom
get dressed
Rainy day here today, nice day to be inside sewing 🙂

Looks like it did post, diane. Sometimes it doesn't show up immediately when the new page loads, but if you wait a few seconds and then do a refresh (maybe a hard refresh), it usually appears. If it still fails, then try using the Back button to return to the compose page -- for me, at least, the text is still available there, and it can be copied and pasted somewhere safe while you're fiddling around to see if the message board is busted. Then if the message is still missing, you still have it available to paste quickly.

I wrote a long post saying things to each of you, didn't post? Darn.

wow Jess, so sorry you were near that storm and your town is messed up, happy you are ok
Dianne, happy to hear you are back to work on the hoard
Tillie, great description of your tiny room
Today I hung a metal piece of art, trees and moon, really nice, got tired of tripping over it. I put it on brick wall behind wood stove, took awhile to attach, sure looks nice. went through drawers of office stuff and organized by like items. Molly peed and threw up so have been doing laundry. Today was the first day I have accepted that it will be time soon to say goodbye to her, hard to feel ok in here with layers of stuff for her to pee on.
I go to the dentist on Wednesday at 11am, so will finally get tooth fixed or pulled.
Tanner got picked up to go home today, talked to his owner for an hour, was nice.
I made a long to do list this morning, only did first two items. Not enough sleep so just feel tired, tomorrow will be better.

Oh Jess, I am so sorry to hear that your town took such a hard hit!

{{{{HUGS}}}}

Just wanted to post a quick update because I may not be around for a little while. My town was devasted by a tornado yesterday. My husband and I are fine, we were lucky and it missed our apartment by a couple miles. Power is still out and the town is a complete mess. Cell service and internet is not really working. I managed to get out of town to take care of a few things and I'm sitting in a place with wifi and charging up my phone.

If there's anybody else in the Midwest I hope you're safe!

Hi Guys,

Tillie, how nice that you have your areas just right! Maybe one day he'll get to his own bedroom but if not at least he's not junking up your No Clutter Zones. 🙂