| Subclinical | Posted: 01 January 2023 - 06:13 AM |
Happy new year! I have almost all of the dishes and most of the laundry done from the Christmas chaos. The laundry is not put away. I am leaving the decorations up at least this week. Today I got up at a reasonable hour. The weather is supposed to be good, so I want to work in my barn. I have less a plan or even list of goals for this year, and more a random collection of thoughts. We'll see how that goes. Keeping road in my thoughts, and hoping everyone else is doing well. Shout out to any lurkers or newbies - come say hi! | |
Replies (1260)
| Tatoulia | Posted: 19 August 2023 - 05:41 PM |
I'm sorry about the sadness dredged up with finding that envelope, SubC. I'm glad you had your grandmother for a long time and I am sure you were one of the brightest lights in her life. I am not feeling all that great but I did go see mom and that was good. I out in a load of delicates before I left and now my dresses are hanging to dry. I will try to put the dishwasher together and run it. I didn't run it last night and I am very dizzy right now. But I have minimum of everything and so I won't really have any silverware if I don't run it tonight. I had so much of everything before I started here and guess what? I still have too much. But I have six of each type of eating utensil and four each of my plates, etc. I have to find a way to get the dishes in the dishwasher. Very dizzy. I was able to make myself a chicken salad sandwich for dinner and it tasted very good. I just doubled-up on the water too. So hopefully a few minutes of rest will help me. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 19 August 2023 - 03:27 PM |
Hit post because my battery was low. I am really glad you are enjoying your sheets. Also, the head and stomach could very well be stress. How is the weight loss going? Getting feedback on that from your gp/nutritionist seems like a good idea. Especially with meds involved. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 19 August 2023 - 03:24 PM |
Hi Tatoulia! Goodwill will wait. Your recipe file made me laugh. Thanks. The "failed attempts.." Pile is now 2.25" tall. However, aside from a few random things I'm sure I will find, all the paper is either filed, sorted, or in one of two recycling boxes - a paper ream box and a diaper box, both full. I still have some old files to clear out and things that are sorted and need filing, but it is a good start. Today's box had a legal sized flat envelope in it. I opened it. It was a video cd of my grandmother's funeral in 2013 and a copy of her will. With a note from my uncle. I immediately started crying so hard I couldn't breathe. There was other paperwork in there regarding her estate - which based on the paper trail I apparently interacted with and took care of. I have no memory of any of it. I put everything back in the envelope and put it away. Not ready. Don't care if it has been ten years. Still not ready. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 19 August 2023 - 03:06 PM |
Hi I did not go to goodwill but I did walk to the grocery store and got a few things. Now I'm lying down for a bit. Stomach and head. There were quite a few people at the park so I got to see some neighbors. That was good. I'll go see mom in about half an hour. I'll be able to take her downstairs for supper time. I will take my recycling put when I go to mom's. Trying yo move myself forward despite the depression. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 19 August 2023 - 10:33 AM |
I have a file folder called, recioes I'll never make. Feeling much better today. Slept from about 6 PM last night to 10 AM today. Only got up to feed cat during the night and stuff like that. Was feeling miserable yesterday with stomach and head issues. I don't want to live this way so I need a solution. I'll make a dr appointment. And maybe an appt with a nutritionist. I can do this. Had my coffee and a long phone call with BF. We are making this work. Oh the vintage sheet buying I've done has proven to be an excellent thing for me. I love the sheets, they are very comfortable, and they make me very happy. So I'm glad I've been buying vintage sheets on Etsy. They are doing it for me. I need to get rid of a corresponding number of top sheets to keep it even. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 18 August 2023 - 12:22 PM |
Yay for output! I am working on papers this morning. I have turned the entire dining porch into a giant horizontal file system with me at the center. I've taped up labels for the piles. Because as I am discovering various boxes and file holders and stacks, what I am realizing is that every one of them has almost the same categories of partially sorted stuff, all from different stretches of time. I have labelled one stack "failed attempts to create a schedule or system to organize, evaluate or restructure my life." I am making some progress filling the recycling box too. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 18 August 2023 - 10:40 AM |
Thank you for your kind words, SubC. I was going to goodwill for donations and not going inside! The parking lot is under renovations and there is no place to park other than street parking. So don't worry, we are talking output not input! Good for you for downloading the yoga app! | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 18 August 2023 - 05:53 AM |
Good morning! Still waiting on that baby... Tatoulia, it will take a while. It makes sense that you feel sad. Just remember to be sensible at goodwill. You can't replace BF with things. I am still processing a lot of sad here. The bottles are just staying for now. I have them out where I can look at them, but they are part of a mess, not part of my decor. I got up and did yoga this morning. Dh has decided to start working out at a gym. When he told me that he was planning to ge5 up at 5 every morning and go, I was a little hurt because he almost never gets up early (even at six) to do yoga with me anymore. But it also made me realize that I need to stop waiting for him, so I added the yoga ap to my iPad and I'm just going to do it alone. I'm going to try to get my morning in better order before school starts. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 17 August 2023 - 06:19 PM |
Your story about the glass bottles broke my heart, SubC, in a yearning sort of way. Thank you for telling the story. Lila, I hope you get your good night's sleep before the baby arrives! That was good to hear who it your clutter club, Cm, and how it evolved over the years. I'm doing fairly well. I am exhausted. I wake up tired. I'm sure it's just the depression. I really miss him. And work is killing me. I had dinner with woman I worked with 18 years ago. We had a blast. Talked all night. Her husband was out with friends and then was in the bay, waiting for us to finish dinner. And he didn't care if we stayed in the dining room for another hour or two. I hadn't seen him either so we ended up going to the bar and having a drink with him. They drove me home afterward. Truly lovely, lovely evening. Garbage out. Visited mom. Bought some seltzer. I ran out earlier this week and I've decided that the lack of seltzer explains my fatigue. If only! Mom's house is very clean as my ladies were by yesterday. My house is also clean. So nice. I had to get rid of my window boxes tonight. The petunias ran their course. It's been pretty warm this summer. Im not sure if it's worth it to get other plants right now. I'll see what is around. Right now I'm drying my towels and washing my jeans. I'll fold up the towels and hang the jeans. Very much missing my sweetheart. I wish he were here. Saturday I'll go to goodwill and run other errands. Those things will make me feel better. I know I'll see him again. Im just not sure how long I'll have to wait. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 17 August 2023 - 03:42 PM |
Hi CM, Thanks for coming by! I was getting lonely. I have decided not to go to my class tonight. I am really low on energy and I cannot find the payback on the two hours of driving and getting home late. I have been puttering about here and there. I can't seem to engage with the garden or my pottery. I have been picking at some papers. I found a stack from my short adventure as an English teacher - interrupted rudely by Covid - and have managed to recycle most of those. I hope your group works out for you somehow. I've started to think group therapy might not be the worst idea in the world. But there would be driving. | |
| CriticalMass | Posted: 17 August 2023 - 01:26 PM |
Hi, Not doing too much at the moment except getting ready for the bunny event this weekend, which I would enjoy a lot more if it weren't coinciding with a terrible heat wave on the way. I wish so much that the organization's anniversary would be in a more reasonable weather month. Alas. I'll be baking today, just cupcakes which are easier than a big cake, since my roommate's oven hates me (feeling is mutual) and takes a perverse delight in ruining many of my sheet cakes. But cupcakes bake through more easily, so they're pretty foolproof. Roommate is doing her best, it's a struggle sometimes. Sounds like her physical therapist knows his stuff, though, which is encouraging. Her sleep quality is not great, and mine is okay but not like I wish it could be. So some days I am grouchy. Today not bad though. The cats and dog have had fleas, and it took awhile to get around to treating the cats - the one we thought would be easier turned out to be more difficult, whereas the wild child one didn't do too badly. So now they have the meds and we can hope for better days. Death to fleas! Nasty bloodsucking buggers. I've been working on my writing some still - one novel in particular is getting the most attention, though I like to shift around between them. And I got an idea for a cute kid's picture book that would use some of my newly acquired digital art skills. I really wonder if it could sell, and it wouldn't take that long to do if I can just get going with it. First, I will need to gain a bit more confidence in the illustration part - the visual conceptualization, which is not my best skill set, e.g., realistic drawing, because I am more of an abstract expressionist artist. Although I'm not aiming for photorealism, still even a stylized version of things like houses, people, streets, and the moon (the moon is a focal point) need to be realistic enough. Perspective and such things need to be handled properly. The story itself is in the Big Concept stage, so still brainstorming how to work with that and nail down an actual plot sequence. My library guy is a resource who can help me with the digital aspects and he's just so encouraging. A real gem. I hope to get in a couple of individual sessions - they call it "Book a Librarian" - with certain Inkscape skills and a Gimp skill that I have wanted to learn for years but hadn't got round to, and it won't be that hard now that I've been working with Gimp for years. All this is a productive way to pass the time while the weather is still stinking hot, also I'll want to get going on cleaning that sewing machine and hopefully get it running again. That got pushed aside in all the kerfluffle about my roommate's mobility issues. Yesterday I went to my old local clutter club meeting that I hadn't been to since way before Covid even. I'm not sure if I like it enough to return on a regular basis or not, but I had been thinking of it from time to time, and then I ran into one of the ladies at the grocery store recently. You see, when I first started going to that group in about 2015, it met at a place closer to here, in a casual cafeteria that was closed in the afternoons. Seating was laid back, atmosphere was plain but homey. Then it moved, when the agency sponsoring it moved, to a stuffy downtown corporate type building, and pre-Covid the clutter club was crammed into a small, sterile conference room. And for awhile there were people coming who were forced to come by county hoarding code enforcement, so they had an attitude and spoiled the mood (though I empathized with them, and tried not to judge, because everybody's got to start somewhere). Another thing that had begun to bug me back then was that the lady leading it, who was/is a therapist, and a really sweet person, began to come across more "therapist-y" and the vibe changed from more of a camaraderie to more like group therapy. Not a lot, really, yet enough to bug me (who has had more than my fill of therapy, group and otherwise, in the distant past). There seemed to be more therapy and pop psych lingo, more boring directedness, some dumbing down, and all in all less room to be my geeky quirky self, is all I can describe it as. I mean, I understand it was for a serious purpose, but I'm a firm believer that one can tackle serious things with fun and humor. So between the corporate conference room atmosphere and the therapy speak, I just decided to quit going, and try to spend more time actually doing my decluttering (whether I did or not, who can say, it's been a few years, lol). This time, we were not in the tiny conference room. In fact, it appeared that the agency had reconfigured their entire space - movable walls I think - and this time we were in a BIG sterile conference/classroom, and it was also set up for Zoom (yikes, I'm mike and camera shy with Zoom) but I know it's good for those who can't make it in person. The vibe was still therapy-ish. Kind and nice, but meh, I don't know. I brought my crocheting and I'm glad I did or I wouldn't have probably been able to sit there through the whole thing. And yet. I don't want to be overly negative - so I might go back next month just in the interest of being open minded. This apparently works for some folks, so who am I to barge in and be a Karen about it. So we'll see. It may be a way to find a local buddy, too, so there's that. Anyhoozles, I'll just put that on the back burner till next month, see what the weather does, what my literary aspirations do, and what clutter I might find to toss here and there. It'll pick up, I'm not going to force it at the moment. Bigger plans await the cooler weather, and I'm not going to spill the beans on those just yet. This has been a strange summer that took some unexpected turns, and yet I wouldn't call it a bad summer either. And good news - I'm doing better again with the pushback against the agoraphobia. I had gone swimming last Saturday at the water park for one last time, it was a long drive and I did great. And a long drive on Sunday across town to my cousin's for her grandson's birthday party, which I also did like a boss (the drive I mean). School has started here this week, which means more traffic and school buses (hate getting behind one), but I have my little tricks for manuvering. So I'll do my best not to let those things bug me anymore than I can help. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 17 August 2023 - 07:57 AM |
I went down to the basement to move some more things to make it easier to clean and paint. I found a box of magazines and catalogs I had saved for the pictures. I had a couple of empty drawers and I thought to myself, well, I can't get this in one drawer, but maybe two. Let's see what's here. Ten minutes later 2/3 of them were in the recycling and the rest were taking up 3/4 of a drawer. They dated back to 1995. In 1995 I lived in Virginia. Then Iowa. Then a different house in this state. I moved some of those 3 times. I think I'll go try to was some mats. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 17 August 2023 - 05:15 AM |
Good morning. I miss everybody. Yesterday I went to my heartdaughter's house to watch a Netflix special with her. It was heartgrandson's first day of high school. It was good to see her and I enjoyed the special, but I was experiencing a lot of stress and I don't know why. It could have just been that this is only the second time I've visited her since she moved to this house two years ago, or it could have been her new dog, who is sweet, but in training and wants to climb and chew, so I had to have part of my attention on the dog the whole time. He would lie down next to me and I would start absentmindedly rubbing his belly and then suddenly he would be chewing the edge of my shorts. He never did really settle. I'm sure it didn't help that I brought lots of exciting new smells into the house. Bean's puzzle mat came yesterday. It is cute, but not quite as exciting as I thought it would be. Hopefully he will like it. I put it together and I need to move it down to the basement. And clean the wall. And paint And wash more mats. And none of those are on my list of nine priorities today. The house is messy and I am feeling stalled. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 16 August 2023 - 06:17 AM |
2nd post for other issue I wanted to discuss - the mats. Yes, Lila, I am excited and pleased with myself about the mats. I have a really big stack of them - probably enough to do the whole floor on that side. New they would be at minimum $6 each so we are talking hundreds of dollars saved by saving something from the dumpster! But this is the sort of thing that gets me in trouble. It gives me a big rush and then I want to save every potentially useful or interesting thing and I don't seem to have the ability to evaluate which are good ideas and which are not. I don't know what to do about that. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 16 August 2023 - 05:07 AM |
Good morning! Lila, still waiting on baby with you. ? Tatoulia, I do need motivation. I'm starting to feel like I have run a marathon this summer with this basement. And now I am too tired to take one more step. Also, Dh has not mentioned a possible recycling trip again (his work got suddenly really busy due to a bad thing) so these will be sitting in my recycling zone until November. I also bought paint for the basement wall yesterday btw. Paint is expensive! I wanted to buy "oops" paint, but they only had grey. I cleaned out part of a closet this past week (and donated a sentimental jacket that never fit right when I dropped off yesterday - which was hard) and in the course of moving things around, I encountered my bottles again. I have a bunch of old cut glass liquor bottles that belonged to my great grandmother. She saved everything. She died when I was in 4th grade. My great grandfather died a year later and there was a giant estate auction at their farm. I was 9. My mom's whole family lived in town, so I spent a lot of time at their farm with my cousin as a little kid. My great grandparents were hoarders. They were also poor all their lives. My grandfather was their only son and he worked his way through law school and spent the rest of their lives trying to make them more comfortable. The staircase to the second floor had a rail on one side and a waste high stack of books on the other on every step. When we cleaned out the cellar there were jars of expired food that were rusted, colorful, and unidentifiable. Every piece of obsolete equipment and non-running car was rusting in the yard. The house was full of odd, interesting things, colors, textures, patterns, small spaces to play and hide in and fresh baked cookies. I loved it there. At 9 I didn't really understand the death part because my family talked about heaven like they talked about Maine (where my grandmother's family lived but we rarely visited - gram's family was in Maine and we'd see them when we went there, dead people were in heaven, ditto. I was 9. Time was not long.) So my cousin and I are running free on this farm. People are unpacking and sorting through all the treasures, people are talking (mostly in horror but I missed that - autism?) about "when my house gets cleaned out" - I think I thought this was a new thing we were going to do - clean out all the houses. The family is discussing the future of the farm (my cousin and I are arguing in the yard over which of us will live in it when we grow up - both of us left the state - me at 17) And they let us have some of the treasures. Nothing valuable - because we were kids. They wouldn't save things for us - furniture we loved was auctioned off. The farmhouse was rented, fell into disrepair and eventually burned to the ground. The day of the auction ended up being the last day I ever set foot on the farm. I loved the way the light came through these bottles from the farmhouse window. And I've had them for 45 years without ever living anywhere I could recreate that. I have the bottles, my great grandmother's pencil box, a little vase (that got broken later and I glued) and a pottery dog lighter. My cousin and I each got a steamer trunk that we found in the attic. Our parents had them cleaned and refinished for us for Christmas, which in our eyes destroyed them and it took me years to forgive my mom. I had a rag doll but gave her away later. When my grandmother died I got the two little rockers some everyday quilts, and my great grandparents dining table and chairs. And based on the crying I did this week over old bottles that have no good place in my life and the crying I'm doing now, I'm still processing the losses. Sorry this got long. | |
| Lila | Posted: 15 August 2023 - 11:02 PM |
Well no baby yet. I would appreciate it if she waited until I get a good solid night's sleep and maybe wait until after my meeting in the morning. After that, anything goes. Except well I do have an event I am in charge of Thursday night, lol. But baby is more important! She is having mild pains but not progressing. I am so tired all the time. I did several hours of work from home. That was good. I got the dog beds and things out of the dryer and they are back in place. I took the dog toys out of the dishwasher, rinsed them and they are out on the deck to dry. I also sprayed my dogs and rubbed it in and put them outside a bit to evaporate. I will brush them a little before I got to bed, and also need to vacuum. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 15 August 2023 - 09:34 PM |
Recycle, SubC. Justin Case is full. (In case you need encouragement). Laundry folded and put away. Recycling ready to go out. The stuff aggravating me has ceased to aggravate. Need to change kitty's box and go to bed. Goodnight! | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 15 August 2023 - 08:22 PM |
Hi Tatoulia! I missed you! Also surprisingly not sore. Also, just realized I got excited for Lila about the grandbaby in my head and then came back to post later and realized just now that I hadn't posted the grandbaby stuff. So, Lila, I hope everything goes really well, and I am super excited for you! | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 15 August 2023 - 08:19 PM |
Lila, don't take this as critical, but I don't have dogs, and I think everybody who has indoor dogs has a house that smells like dog. It's just a question of wether it's clean dog or dirty dog. My sons house usually smells like clean dog. This is however, coming from a woman whose daughter went to camp and was told by a friend that her friend brought one of her mom's t-shirts with some of her perfume on it in case she got homesick. To which my daughter replied "what?" And her friend said - "you know, how when something smells like your mom's perfume or powder it makes you feel better because it smells like your mom?" And (I know this because she told me the story later because she thought it was hilarious) my kid said "my mom doesn't wear perfume or powder. My mom smells like goats." This is however, not insulting to me because this same kid wanted to sleep in the stall with her own baby goat every night the summer it was born. When I said no, she then lobbied to bring the goat to bed with her. Also no. Bean's play mat did not arrive. We did purge two lions. I dropped the stuff at the thrift store. This has been getting a bit harder. I also went in. I spent $5 on a three shelf modular unit that matches the one from my mom's kitchen - which I am now using in the basement, however, it is a sturdy plastic shelf (old school 70s miracle of plastic plastic, not modern bend if you put a book on it polypropylene) which has been propped up on a set of particle board drawers on one end for years because somebody smashed one of the legs. It is three sections wide. So I got two shelves and 8 legs, and I can replace the missing legs and shelf, plus add one taller shelf to the center (or a side, but the center would probably look better) I am not sure what I will do with the extra shelf pieces. Part of me says recycle them, and part of me says save them for Justin Case. I don't think I can donate them without legs. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 15 August 2023 - 08:04 PM |
Thinking about the new grand baby and of course the mom! I'm sorry your place smells like dog. You took great steps in fixing it. My place smells like cat right now. My place generally does not have an odor but it's been both humid and rainy so no open windows. Plus I've had two cats here. SubC I bet you are sore from washing those foam pads!! Okay I was angry and aggravated yesterday. Now I feel better. I was aggravated over silly stuff but I also have an issue with an employee and so it's all messed up into one I have to fold three laundry loads and gather up the recycling. Will put on some music and report back! | |
| Lila | Posted: 15 August 2023 - 01:30 PM |
Good morning! Wow SubC, I am impressed with your recycling of the floor tiles for Bean's play area! That is awesome. I am all worked out. My boss cancelled the meeting I had with him today so now I get to stay home and work here. I like it because I don't have to do my hair or my (minimal) makeup or find something to wear. I have to go in tomorrow, though, so today I need to figure out clothes. Last week I did ALL my laundry but then sort of laid it over the rocking chair out of habit instead of hanging them up. When I needed clothes, almost all of them were wrinkled beyond being able to wear. So I guess I will run them through a quick wash, dry and hang them today. I threw out a sock and a pair of underwear with small holes. I threw out one dog toy that is pretty ratty and old. My son came back from a long trip and said when he walked in the house it smells like dog. I feel bad, I have not been able to get the carpets cleaned yet. Will schedule it after the new grandbaby is born, any day, since I can't have wet carpets when I am watching the other two grands. In the meanwhile, to try and make it better, today I: - Took several smelly dog toys out of the bin and am running them through the dishwasher What else could I do to help it smell nice in here? Maybe clean with Mrs Meyers... I also took all the aging oranges out of the fridge and juiced them for my breakfast. I am tired but may have a new grandbaby today! | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 15 August 2023 - 05:02 AM |
Good morning! It rained off and on all day yesterday and I was a little down - I think I needed a rest day after doing such a big chunk of the basement. I do have the clean mats down and I really like them. I definitely want to do more. Today is a Bean day. Yesterday (with Dh blessing) I ordered him a foam puzzle mat of a city. It is only 3'x3' if you put it together square, but I thought it was better than a city rug because you can move the pieces around and change things up. We have Amazon prime, so it might come today while he is here to play with it. I'll check back later to hopefully see what everyone has been up to. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 14 August 2023 - 09:52 AM |
Good morning! I have a large stack of two foot square blue foam tiles in my basement. They were used in our preschool room and then stored in a very dirty storage room and they are scuffed and scratched and the school was going to throw them out. So of course, I brought them home. They are filthy. Today's upper body workout - scrubbing twelve of them to make a padded play area for bean on the concrete basement floor. Eventually I plan to do as much of the floor as I can and put rugs or carpet squares over them, but this will do for now. They are coming clean very well with enthusiastic scrubbing with Dawn dish soap. But 12 is definitely enough for one day! Back out to do the second side of the second 6! | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 13 August 2023 - 09:19 PM |
Good evening. We have been to dinner with old friends and their son who has moved back and so I am peopled out. CM, that is interesting history about the bunny club. I had assumed it formed around the rescue and not the other way around. Lila, I hope you are asleep. A good residential program could be a great option for teen, especially if there are others close in age they can make friends with, I think autism sometimes comes off as disrespectful when it is not meant that way because the autistic person doesn't understand the viewpoint of the neurotypical person. Sometimes we are incapable of doing simple tasks because for us the task is not so simple. There may be a lot of variables that you aren't even aware of. I am not trying to excuse teen, because they still have to find away to function in life, but that may end up including not cooking for themself. How did they get to their friend's house? I am impressed with your printer rescue! Bean is not coming tomorrow because his daddy was gone all weekend and wants to keep him. I get him on Tuesday. | |
| CriticalMass | Posted: 13 August 2023 - 06:28 PM |
Tatoulia, the bunny club started out in 2006 as mainly a small social get together of local bunny owners, and they did a few community activities as they got rolling, such as making therapy visits to care homes or disabled individuals. They also exchanged information about rabbit health and behavior. Because I'd always dreamed of such a group and even tried to see if I could start one a decade or more before, I don't know how I missed hearing of their existence until 2009. During this time, as they became known in the community, people started giving them rabbits (people have frequently tried giving me rabbits too - anyone who has a rabbit becomes a magnet for people trying to give them another, and I did adopt a couple of my own this way). So they had a few in their house and would find homes for them. Gradually the number climbed. More humans joined and helped out. They had a permit and inspections. But it was still a small operation - until it wasn't. So we filed articles of incorporation and applied for and got 501c3 nonprofit status. This was about a year before Covid. Things seemed to be taking off, we had hoped to get a building somehow. We even didn't do too badly keeping going through the pandemic. Then there were some serious personnel issues, a schism if you will. And more rabbits coming in, and it's hard to say whether we'll be able to weather the storms and keep going or what. I'm wanting to be less in the decision making loop and more of a behind the scenes helper with just the things I do well such as writing and graphic design. The daughter of the founder is trying to find a way forward. I pray that she can. We are at a crossroads. And as I have said, my health and other concerns are going to need to take priority in the next few years if I'm to have any sort of decent life as I reach retirement age. | |
| Lila | Posted: 13 August 2023 - 04:26 PM |
hi, exhausted Lila here. I got about 3-4 hours of sleep last night, up late working on my procrastinated work prep and had to get up early to go in. There was a massive paper jam in the work printer which a coworker told me "only the maintenance company knows how to fix it" because the screen was frozen and there were folded and half shredded papers stuck in it. But I NEEDED my printouts, immediately, so I persisted until I got every possible paper shred out of there, got the screen to clear, and got it to bypass the 270 other print projects that were backlogged to print mine! I am pretty pleased with myself for getting that done. Even though it is not my job. Anyway I am done for the day. Now I forgot what I was going to comment on... hmm. SubC, good job on the toy bench! That is a big win for sure! Then the lifestyle decluttering thing, that is something to ponder. Tatoulia, I hope you are doing well. I find it so difficult that all of my other kids were pretty responsible and not disrespectful etc but then Teen is like this. They tell me it is the autism but I dunno. I feel like I have no recourse but to move her out someplace (SubC, maybe residential will end up being where we go). I can't exist in chaos any longer, it is exhausting. She seems incapable of simple tasks. Her friend's mother called me and told me she comes over and makes a mess in the kitchen and just leaves it. (I'm sorry? Do you want me to come and clean it up for you? What can I do? Maybe friend's mom can tell her not to use the kitchen if she can't clean it up.) It is a universal problem, not just home. Some kind of dysfunction, I dunno. But there is no reward that will motivate them to do it, and no consequence they care enough about to change. No therapists, doctors, counselors, teachers, etc have been able to help yet. So I dunno, I love them, I don't want to tolerate this, but if I kick them out they will be not survive it. Easy target for traffickers for sure. So tiring. Anyway I am trying to step back and let go of things and if they cause destruction I take the money out of their savings (from childhood) to replace or pay for things. They don't care though. So I am home and really to fall asleep but Teen's friend's mom is calling me saying I need to come get them, and it is an hour round trip in the country, with no other way for them to get home... so, I guess I have to go get them. This is a very nice mom but does not want to have them there for days on end. If I say no it will make it very difficult on this nice mom. And so it goes... | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 13 August 2023 - 12:21 PM |
Tatoulia, you are doing great! I am taking a break again. Dh and I are leaving to go to the house of friends for dinner in three hours, but right now he is playing golf and I have been working on the basement again. I realized I wasn't totally truthful about the bins. Most of them were on racks, but there were two towers on the floor. One tower was three footlocker sized bins of stuffed animals and one footlocker sized bin of duplo blocks. I dumped out all of the stuffed animals, washed the red bin, and used it to corral some loose Christmas things (oversized decorations, paper gift bags, two large decorative tins with bows and decorations in them) Then I filled the blue bin with my favorite stuffed animals (why are the stuffed animals in a bin is a question for another day.) then I decided to wash the empty grey stuffed animal bin with the lid that doesn't snap and dump the duplos in, and then only keep as many additional animals as would fit in the purple, former duplo bin. The grey and purple bins were the same brand, same style, same size, but fluffing occurred and now the duplo bin lid won't go back on. However, after messaging my offspring several times and adding one bear to space available in one of dd2's bins, I have a black plastic trash bag of animals to donate and all the animals fit in two bins. I am going to see if Bean can help me get rid of some lions tomorrow. I know which two I want to keep, but if he is attached to the other two, they will stay. Meanwhile, the rack is moved and filled with seasonal items and my dd2's belongings. And no gardening is occurring. I found an inspirational video about decluttering and she talked about nine categories of decluttering - stuff being only one. I am currently contemplating "lifestyle decluttering" examining the roles you play in life and prioritizing the most important and discarding the ones that no longer or currently don't serve you. Like: She also talks about examining whether our roles are complementary or in conflict (for example, "I am a grandmother" complements "I am a mother", but "I am an environmentalist" would conflict with "I am a monster truck enthusiast") Anyway, the point is that decluttering your lifestyle can really help with decluttering your environment, time, and relationships. Also, I have to have something to think about while I move bins and sweep floors.. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 13 August 2023 - 10:43 AM |
Hi I'm back. BF called me and yesterday I waited too long and my post understandably disappeared so I decided to close out my post. So, all electronic recycling taken to hazardous waste day. Old computer tower, toaster, coffee maker, cords, etc. felt really good. Did not take things to goodwill because I picked up groceries on the way home. And I didn't want them to spoil. Did take a bag for goodwill to my car. So I don't know if I told you this or not. It may have been in my lost post. A friend out of the blue asked me for my address. She has never sent me anything before. She did not know about BF leaving. She sent me two things that were delivered straight from the vendor. My work friend was sleeping over. They are cute but I don't need them and don't want them. Also they feel like they'd break really easily. So I bagged them up for goodwill. Then I also bagged up two Christmas gifts from someone I do not like. I absolutely loved the gifts and used them but I neither want nor need the bad juju. In the car. I feel lighter for getting rid of them. I went out for dinner with Emiko last night and I brought with me two pair of pajamas that had been at BF's house. I had washed them. She loves my old pjs for some reason. There's a lot for me to take care of here but I wanted to say that I got rid of stuff that is perfectly usable and great and I don't have the desire to keep for whatever reason. I may go to car today and take to goodwill. In the meantime, I'm doing laundry. Visiting cat went home. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 13 August 2023 - 10:02 AM |
Congratulations, SubC! And hip hip hooray for your husband noticing and being excited! Great work! CM, I have a question and I hope you'll forgive me for not knowing. What is the Bunny Ckub? Is it a social thing that has charitable aspects? Raising money to take care of bunnies? Is it more of a rescue or shelter type situation? I never really ask and being a city dweller, it occurred to me that I honestly don't know. Would love to hear more about it! Lila, I do hope you are able to reinforce better behaviors in your teen. I know parenthood is a struggle and a mix of emotions. Sending you and teen support Have to run be back soon. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 12 August 2023 - 08:31 PM |
I did it! The floor on the first side of the basement is clear. It is not perfect, and I have not sorted through everything, but everything is in a cupboard, or on a shelf, or in a bin on a rack. I have two empty bins and five empty cardboard boxes.(but remember, I bought four bins) otoh, many things were not binned or boxed. The wide "hallway" space on the other side of the basement is clear. The Mickey bench is drying in my garage (because it might rain overnight) Dh wrapped his arms around me and said "I am so proud of you. I wanted to help you, but you had to do this yourself. This is amazing. You did such a good job." There is a pile of empty bags and boxes and bins on top of the chest freezer. I told him "this is all empty, but I don't want to get rid of it yet because I haven't done the other side." He said "you're going to do the other side?!" I told him "I'm going to do the whole dn house. But not this summer." (There are two weeks to open house for school) Tomorrow I move the holiday/dd2 storage rack into the bump out in the new section of basement. | |