Yay for the kittens, Becky! I do not go to the meetings. I hope you find some support there; everyone on here is very supportive.

tatoulia,

Oh thank you. For the message help.lol

I got kittens here. So sweet!

Are you coming to the meeting?

Hi Becky! Glad you are getting acclimated! When you start your replies, where it says Name, put in your own name, not the person you are replying to. I know it's a bit confusing but you'll get the hang of it.

Have been working from home today. Cleaners come tomorrow.

Poor kitty is sound asleep. She sleeps more and more. A little like me.

Hi there,

Thank you for the welcome.

Been needing support for this for so long

Getting alot done. I attended my first meeting,

And chat support. But now feel even more

Overwhelmed. of coarse over worked myself
Again. I think the denial is breaking.

I feel shocky. Is that common?

How are you?

Becky

Hi Lila,

So sorry for your sad news!

It would send anyone into tears.
Go slow,and take care of yourself.

Thank you,For the welcome.

Becky

I am so sorry, Lila. What a terrible loss. SubC is correct. Listen to her.

Lila, be gentle with yourself. Some days the dishes are all you can do.

Do any of you get paralyzed by emotion? Like if something upsets you, it seems impossible to do ANYTHING? I have really wanted a day to stay home and clean and sort, but something awful happened this morning - a close friend of my son's passed away. He won't be home until later tonight and I just have a sick feeling and pit in my stomach, not knowing if someone told him or he found out on social media or if I have to tell him. I can't call him so have to wait. It is so upsetting.

After sitting here crying and wandering and doing a lot of nothing all day I finally thought, this is not helping anything. I am upset but mainly it is HIS loss not mine. So I walked the dog.

Then finally I forced myself to start cleaning the kitchen. Just now I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, which is running. I washed ALL of the dirty dishes and sort of washed out the sink. That is all I have the energy for.

If only I could stand to drink a Red Bull or something, I could probably get a lot more cleaning done. Coffee doesn't cut it. How am I ever going to get caught up if all I can do in one day is the dishes?? Help.

hi Becky, you had me wondering for a minute there, when did I write that? ha. But saw you are new and am happy you are here. I'm sorry about your son. It is so hard, we love them so much.

Hi Becky! I think you meant to respond to Lila and instead you accidentally posted as Lila. I used to make the same mistake.

We are glad you are here!

Road, I'm pleased you have been following the healthier diet. I don't cook with salt and don't even like it, so I bet I would love that lemongrass chicken salad!

SubC good to hear about camp! That's so nice that you met up with your husband for dinner on the way home!

Spent the day with BF and some friends. My house is a disaster so I'm going to work on it now, We walked about seven miles today, which was good.

I'm doing a load of laundry (my favorite thing to do, Becky). We are glad you are here, Becky.

Hi Becky! Welcome!
What is the veduvioys method?

Road good news on your niece!
I was afraid it would go like that with your din though. I don't know how they can expect him to keep those on.

Glad you and your brother are still encouraging each other.

Camp was good? I did not come home exhausted. I did get bored. The way it is structured there is down time for me during active periods - not official breaks, just time when literally the kids do not need me and there is nothing to do, but I am supposed to be standing there in case somebody asks for help. I tried filling them by wandering around the room giving positive feedback and asking the kids about their projects. All the plans are done for the whole week. It is nice to have coworkers I can talk to during the day and plan with. There is a "staff meeting" on the back loading dock that I get to go to with adult beverage service after camp on Friday.

I am tired now, but Dh and I met on our ways home for dinner and I had to go back out for feed.

Chores and not too late to bed I hope,

Hi guys!

I lost all the time again.

Oof.

Negotiation with school district is almost over. Extremely frustrating and stressful but got a better result than we had, but not as good as we hoped.

We tried to do a 5-day eeg with my son but we only got a 12-hour and a 17-hour... the little sucker kept ripping off the electrodes in the middle of the night. Who can blame him poor guy.

We had Father's Day at my brothers last night. We actually collaborated. He bought the burgers and beans and chips. I bought the plates' cups, napkins, all the fixings and a few salads. Mom made some strawberry shortcake. Between us all we got it done and the dads didn't have to lift a finger which was nice. My bro is keeping up with the cleaning and looks like he's making some incremental progress. The odor and pet hair is still kind of off the charts but the main thing is he s trying and we have been able to keep getting together as a family. We will keep alternating and that will help each of us keep up with the cleaning. And I can indirectly teach my brother some basics of cooking and entertaining... I am not fancy and he is truly a novice so it will be really basic.

My niece got off her feeding tube and out of the. Hospital into an inpatient treatment place. We kept my nephew for a few days which was really fun.

This week we start the bulk of summer activities... summer school 4 mornings a week and a Rec activity almost every day so my son will love that.

I just made a low sodium lemongrass chicken salad. It needed..... SALT! Lol. No, it's good. Actually yesterday was the first burger I've eaten since April which is amazing! I've learned I can live without it which is great. Still, I've been getting sloppier so I'm hitting the "reset" to try to keep on target.

That's my update. I'm gonna go back and catch up on your posts...

Hi there. I just joined.
I sure get these struggles
With your teen. My son had a severe bipolar.
I lost him at age 6 yrs

He is 19 yrs now,we are in contact.
I am being cautious.

I love him so much. Yet the years
Of this illness is still fresh in my
Mind.

I would love support as I go
Forward with the mess in my home.

Got all supplies for Vesuvius method.

So happy to not be alone with this
Process.

Hugs,Becky

Good morning.

Lila, I'm sorry tgat you and your teen are in a hard place right now.

I hope the progress in your room helps you. You did a great job on the clothing! And very good decision on the purse.

Tatoulia, some days it's just good to get all the little stuff off your list. I'm glad you are getting more time with people you care about.

Thank you for caring about the hazardous waste day. It truly makes me feel better.

Camp today. Couldn't sleep last night. I hate feeling unprepared. Dh says I will have fun and love it and come home energized. I'm pretty sure I will come home exhausted.

I left all the baby goats with their mothers last night so that I wouldn't have to milk this morning.

Lila, I am sorry about the violence and destruction. I'm glad you were able to put your clothes away. Good work!

I checked quite a few things off my list today. I couldn't ge5 near the laundry room til after 9 PM so I still have my towels to get out of the dryer, at 10 PM.

here's what I did today, small stuff but it was on my list: laundered sheets, launder towels, deposit two checks, pay owed tolls, clean mom's cat box, take a few things to mom's, shred mail, run dishwasher, take out recycling, and water plants. Small stuff but I'm glad I did it. I also showered and washed my hair.

I'll go get my towels out of the dryer. The sheets are already dried and folded and I'll put away now.

I saw BF for less than two minutes. I didn't get to mom's til 930 and he quickly met me to walk me part of the way home.

I also did some work today and I'll have to do more tmr. We are seeing our friend with her children tmr. They are so sweet and we haven't seen them in several weeks. They know we sold one of the businesses and the 9 yo was very philosophical about it, esp when it came to how hard BF works. The daughter (6) pouted because she loved to visit him at work. Both kids did, but the 9 yo is exceptionally bright and is truly like having a grandpa in the room. When he found out BF can join us tmr, he asked his mother if BF is still working a lot of hours and when she said no, he's working a lot less, the boy said, thank goodness. We will have a lot more time with the kids and for that I am grateful.

I just cannot believe how much time we have now. It's different, to be sure, and it's great.

hi guys,

I enjoyed reading all your posts today, and when someone said something about camp, I thought, "oh, I forgot to sign up for the group camp-out for church in 2 weeks" and I really have been planning to go. I love the woods and the people. But, I think really I need to stay home. Maybe. I need a few days off and that is likely my only chance. Although, teen has become volitile again and things have been getting destroyed, and that really puts me in a mental pit. Looking at the broken stuff, cracked cabinets, holes in walls, busted doors, and now cracked car interior, it all just makes me feel hopeless and worthless. No point in fixing it when autism still reigns. I don't have the $$ to keep fixing. So I live in disarray and there are reminders all around me of the angry rages and sadness I have to live with.

Anyway... this weekend I did find homes for almost all my clothing that was stacked and piled. A few things in the donate box, some in a drawer I made room in, some hung up, a couple things getting returned. I even decided to return a purse I bought. I need a new purse, but it has sat here not getting used because I am not sure if I like it. So back it goes. I have a new purse I bought YEARS ago in my closet I can use until I find one I really like.

That's terrific news, SubC! Good to hear it!

I forgot to put it on my calendar that yesterday was paper shredding and hazardous waste day in Boston and I had been promising BF we would take his stuff. Next one isn't til August. I did find one that is outside of the city and I'm going to call them to see if I can go. I didn't see any residency requirements yet will call to make sure. With all going on this week, I just forgot. The next one (in August) is now on my calendar.

I've made a list of things to do today. I've been doing that lately and it's been a big help in feeling accomplished. Will report back later.

I❤️The electric mower!

I really put it through it's paces. Ran the batteries all the way out, pushed it through some very tall grass - it got jammed - no problem! I took the batteries out, flipped it over, unclogged it with a stick, flipped it back, put the batteries back on, and off we went!

We already have an electric string trimmer that uses the same battery (one, the mower uses two) I am officially naming them Bert and Ernie.

SubC I'm glad you have so many options on the mower. And I'm glad you can recycle the boots. I know how you are tortured by landfill and it has rubbed off on me. You've done a great job opening my eyes!

Good morning!

Since I don't know anyone who wants to plant flowers in them, the old boots will need to be washed and taken to the recycling center in the city - along with a lot of other things that have been accumulating in my basement because it is quite a trip and hard for me to get there on days they are open. (Dead markers, type 5&6 plastics.)

Setting aside a day to go down there and spending some time doing a sweep of the house for things that should go are on my big summer project list for after the next two weeks of camp.

Camp is stressing me out and I am sorry I applied, but I still hope it will be fun. I think things will be better after the first day. I just don't really understand what it will look like.

Dh will decide about the lawnmower. Possibilities are:
- he will give it to one of his former scouts who needs it (there is a small group of former scout dads who keep in touch and kind of keep track of their "boys" - my old washer and dryer went to one.)
- he will sell it - from the end of the driveway or on Craigslist
- the scouts don't need it and he will decide it is not salable and put it at the road with a "free-works" sign (it will be gone the next day)
- he will decide some part of it is salvageable for something else, and the carcass will either be hauled to recycling or put at the road with a "free - scrap" sign. (Might take two or three days to disappear)

I planted all my new plants last night. The basil pot had nine little basils in it! I teased the roots apart and planted them separately.

Ps I did go visit mom and brought her some groceries.

SubC, you and husband made some wise choices today! What will you do with your old boots? And old lawnmower? Is there anyone who could use the old lawnmower?

I slept most of the day. Just recharging. The week was so fantastic and I needed to recharge.

(I want to add the information to the below post that Dh has been working really hard the last two weeks and got a bunch of overtime, and my boots needed to be replaced last year, but I've just been wearing them with mud leaking in because of covid - we don't usually make sudden big purchases)

CM,

I'm glad you made good choices. I hope you can have a yard sale if it would help you.

We have had a very spendy day!

Dh has been contemplating an electric push mower because he has back and shoulder problems that make it hard for him to pull the cord on our very old gas mower without hurting himself. Today he did some mowing and was wishing out loud in my general direction that he could get into some tight areas. It did him no good, because I can't pull the start at all.

He asked if I would mow some of the areas he currently mows for me if we had an electric mower. I said probably, and the next thing I knew we were in the truck. He bought the mower ($100 off at the store I insisted on starting at because I wanted to look at their chicks) and then bought me the nicest pair of waterproof steel toe chore boots I have ever owned and some pepper and basil plants. (The chicks were unexciting)

He even let me stop and pick up a folding shelf for my classroom from the curb.

I am heading out to get the plants in in a few minutes in honor of my new approach of trying to finish the whole job and not start things that will hang over my head. (It is new yesterday - more on that later.)

Helped out at church garage sale this past week. Spent most of my time working the craft supplies table. Quite a bit of the items had belonged to the lady who ran our quilt guild, who passed away last fall. I don't know if I had mentioned that I and the other quilters had been helping the lady's sister this winter and spring to get the stuff out of the house and over to the church. There was quite a bit of it.

And of course plenty from other donations as well. I stared at it for hours, as well as walked around looking at other tables. So. Much. Stuff. The crusty little resin teddy bear figurines, the scrapbooking stuff once sold at inflated prices at home parties, geese pillows from decades ago when geese were popular until suddenly they weren't, personalized "keepsake" ornaments. Christmas ephemera out the wazoo. And all of it stuff No One Wanted Anymore.

And I can't say I didn't find a few supplies to use in my own projects but I hope I was very selective and didn't just get cheesy junk. I remembered so many times in years past when I was suckered in by marketing. Crafts are a real double edged sword for creative people. We need some kind of outlet, yet if we are aware of the problem of perpetuating the proliferation of useless junk, it becomes a real dilemma.

I was feeling a desire to go and get rid of all kinds of stuff from my own stash, coupled with the realization of how when I go to do that, indecision and despair can seize up my brain like rust in the gears. 😬 Don't get me wrong, I know I still want to make the effort, because the consequences of not doing so would be horrendous. But oh my, it is hard either way.

In some ways, if I could have my own garage sale, say in the fall when it's cooler, I feel like it might be motivating. Because my "household" is scattered piecemeal between various locations in my roommate's house and my storage unit. Bringing it together once and for all might give it some cohesion and I'd be able to visualize what is more essential for the future. My roommate doesn't feel comfortable having strangers around here, but maybe I could ask my cousin if she would want to have one at her house. Wish my cousin didn't live clear on the other side of town though.

Ah well. This next week I just finally get to catch up after the commitments elsewhere. First do basics like laundry, then try to assess where to start on the rest.

Tatoulua, Dh had a friend who was in the second world trade tower. They were told to wait at their desks for instructions. He got up and walked home. It took him 7 hours.

Lila, enjoy your social events and keep that table clear! You can do it! Keep us updated on the clothes.

I am in my afternoon slump. I baked more squash and froze it, put up trellis for the green beans that were supposed to be bush beans but obviously are not, put the rest of the pile of fence in my barn so it is not in the yard annoying Dh, cut more chamomile and put it in the dehydrator, pulled weeds, picked peas - we have enough for a meal now, and swept the back porch.

In a minute I will go plant more squash.

I have been thinking about the things I put in the trash can yesterday. If I put something in the trash can every day - that is hundreds of things a year, thousands of things in my lifetime. It seems like so much, so overwhelming. And yet, if I clear out just one net item a day from my house - the numbers are the same, but it seems like nothing, like it won't even make a dent.

So nice to wake up and have posts to read. Thank you Tatoulia and SubC for the thoughts. I am processing with the goal of decluttering.

I am trying to work through the clothing issue. It is shaped by my experiences of having gained and lost 80 pounds twice. Both times, I got rid of everything too big as I got thinner. And now I have regained weight a third time and am re-losing it again. This time, I saved some stuff, and thank goodness because each time I regained I had to go out and buy, or find, more. That's why I have nearly nothing to wear even though I bought a ton of things by mail, tried them all on and am returning almost all of it.

I know I can lose this weight again. In fact I have to, say my doctors. This morning I am down 15 pounds from when I was diagnosed. I think in 10 more pounds a huge amount of my clothing will fit, so I am forcing myself not to keep buying more in bigger sizes.

So in 3 months a lot of these clothes will fit. That's why I haven't gotten rid of more. Will I get rid of bigger clothes as I lose again? Yeah, probably, because I absolutely cannot afford (health wise) to gain it back.

When I think of the boxes and boxes of nice clothes in my current size that I donated years ago, it makes me so mad. If I had them now it would be better. Oh well.

I did get the dining room table totally cleared last night (yay!) and we had dinner together. I am going to try and keep it clear. The bar/counter is a piled up disaster but not my priority today.

Today I will sort my papers in the box next to me, run the dishwasher, clean my room a bit more.

I was invited to 3 social events today (shocking) and will drop in at each one. If I don't, I think feelings would be hurt so I will stop in. I need to pick up a graduation gift for one of them.

Lila, I have a huge well of compassion for you and your fears. I have to live and work within a few easily walkable miles. Under 2 is the ideal, and I've managed that for over 30 years. I need to know if something terrible happens, I can get home.

I am an extrovert who really enjoys quiet time.

Since the blankets make you feel safe, keep them. Do you have too many for the number of people in your home? I forget how many people you have at home. For example, 40 blankets for 4 people might be too many. That said, if this topic is too stressful, move on to other items.

I like what SubC said about space. Space is so lovely.

With clothes, I think not COULD I wear it again but WILL I wear it again. Answer is almost always No. I've been on this journey a lot longer so am offering you the ?finished product,' so to speak, of where I've ended up. Could I use this item/shirt/crockpot/spoon/towel Is a lot different from will I? Learning the difference has helped me. Since my mother is creative (I am not), she looks at everything for the potential and it drives me nuts. I now give her things in no packaging. No gift bags, no ribbons, no boxes. She once kept a thin, narrow box about the size of a stationery box and I said for what and she said "I could put something in it". I threw it out.

Right now I have four sets of sheets for my bed and one set for my fold-out couch. I would prefer only three sets for my bed yet all are the percale I love and all are in good shape. So they stay. When one set gets worn out (although, I rotate them), I'll donate and not replace because four sets is excessive for me.

I used to have two sets of sheets for foldout, which made zero sense. Even when my friend lived here, I frequently swapped out for a set of my sheets (which are the wrong size for the foldout, and it was fine). I think I told you I bought her a comforter for the bed and when she left for her own apartment, she took the comforter, pillows, etc with her. I do not keep a comforter for the twin foldout. If someone is staying a night or two, I make do. If it's a week or more, I buy a comforter and pillow then launder and donate once done. I don't have room or any desire to keep. I know I am fortunate to be able to buy and donate. I generally find a pretty sweet deal for $15.99 or $19.99 comforters at Macys. The pillows are about $4 at target.

A work colleague is staying here at the end of July. There's a retirement party that she cannot expense to the company. She'll be here two nights. And I love her dearly. So she can use two of the pillows off of my bed (no need to buy and donate) and I'll cobble together a throw or two as a covering.

I have a bag of clothes for goodwill. I'm excited to get rid of them. Some I can still wear, but shouldn't.

My house is a wreck from all the socializing and running on empty. I ran the dishwasher this AM and have done a load of linen pants and shirts that are now hanging to dry.

Not caught up on posts. Quick drive by. Busy week. Dinner with friend Wednesday was lovely and she loved my house. Thursday was hosting various business partners at lunch and then a trolley tour. Today was US Open and I had a blast. Adding in Tuesday at the Red Sox, and it's been like a vacation for me. Wow!

Goodnight dear friends. I'm working on a bag of donations.

Lila, I'm sorry you lost your friend.

I do understand the might not have what you need thing - I would keep the blankets too. Because you might need blankets. There was a time I lived in my car for a short time - it actually gave me a really critical view of how few things I actually need. But temperature control is one of those things.

But you don't need clothes that don't fit. You just don't. You need space to live more. Keep telling yourself that until you believe it. Space is a thing. You don't need money to get it, you can trade clothes that don't fit for it! And maybe for a little money too.

How is the table?

We didn't get the mail, so just food came in today. It is all taken care of.

I threw two pieces of recycling that were too hard to get clean into the trash bag.