I am home.

My family is all fine, but a bad thing happened. And I found out about it in an email from someone who should not be allowed to send emails about bad things because there had to be a better way to do that. An hour before I got home.

So I just cried, and unloaded the car into a pile instead of unpacking or anything. And cried some more.

Now I am tired and my eyes hurt.

Those are interesting thoughts and perspectives, SubC. I am thinking it over.

Tatoullia, I need a do-nothing day. I really need it. I never get one anymore and there is not a possible day in the foreseeable future. Enjoy them while you get them!! The a/c sounds wonderful!

My son got the dryer hooked up and I did a load of towels. I really need to wash clothes but I am wiped out exhausted from the work stuff today in the heat. I am going to try to wash a load in the morning. I have a teaching gig in the afternoon and a birthday party in the evening (kid). I forgot, I have to make a cake in the morning too.

Tuesday is meetings and planning, Weds is free aside from a lunch date so maybe I can work on home stuff that day. Thursday meetings and all day Saturday meetings. I have off Friday. Working Sunday again. I am not cut out for this. I am going to block out some time in August to rest. This is not sustainable.

Hello. A bit of a good news bad news but ultimately good news.

I have portable AC units ? not window AC. The bedroom one has been funky lately and I cannot clean it enough. Had a slight odor and very dusty. So tonight I tried bringing the living room unit in the bedroom (living room unit is much newer-purchased in 2018) and gets less frequent use than the bedroom one. By just switching the hoses, I can use it in here. It's working fabulously! The other one is now leaking and I have someone coming to take it out for me tmr. The city will pick it up on Tuesday. It's really a win l around because I don't actually need two. Because of window sizes, I need to keep the hoses from both. The other one is truly shot, esp now that it's leaking.

I'm thrilled that I'll only have one, and I'm excited about how nice and cold it is in the bedroom. What a difference!

I did nothing all day. I did two loads of laundry and have the dishwasher running. Oh and I made raspberry syrup to flavor my seltzer. And a tiny bit of work. It still adds up to zero.

SubC you know we love the drive bys!

I have done zero today. Less then zero. I'm finally doing a load of laundry. It is so very hot out. I didn't even make coffee today and here it is at 7 PM.

I'll see if I can get out later to see mom. Not entirely sure.

Hi all,

First let me apologize for just popping in and out. I am reading and keeping up and thinking of you, but I type slowly and have short windows.

Now the actual vacation part of the vacation is over and we are at my inlaw's - quick stop though - we came in last night and leave tomorrow. Trying to spend as much time as possible in the river.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the planning and reading some stuff - Lila I have a couple of thoughts for you - one is that one of the things I read about healthy habits really hit that "so I can get my tasks done" thing. The idea was that it's hard to establish new healthy habits and not fun, so if your goal is "so I can lose weight" or "to be healthier, or stronger, or look better in my clothes", or whatever it's not motivating enough, but if you tell yourself "I am going to walk a mile a day" (or whatever) "so that I can play tag with my grandchild" you visualize that specific enjoyable goal and it keeps you motivated.

Other thing I am mulling about planning - I am a list maker, and my list is always too long and I am always frustrated about not being able to finish stuff.

One of the books I was reading suggested looking at your spaces (environment) and schedule from a functional standpoint, not a static standpoint, and asking yourself what would this look like if I was crushing it, if I was doing well, if was doing ok, If I was in survival mode? Where am I now? And then, "Is this thing I'm doing right now moving me toward a higher level?" I find the idea interesting.

This house is like a game of sardines and all of my inlaws have found me sitting quietly in the corner of the porch, joined me and started a very loud bragging conversation about boats and houses.

Thank you, Tatoulia. It does help knowing someone is listening, and cares.

I managed to get the cord on the dryer, probably correctly. I got the old vent and tube out and cleaned the area. But I tried and tried and could not get the new vent tube in. It is not a perfect circle so it snags. I tried over and over. I could not get it. I asked my son and he is busy and said he could come tomorrow afternoon. My other son woke up and left immediately to go fishing. I went in my room and cried. Then decided there is nothing I can do about it, so better find some clean clothes. Or clothes that are clean enough to air out and wear. I feel like a slob.

Well at least I got some things done. I also brushed my old dog again, got a ton of hair off. Teen says old dog stinks, so I washed her outside. I think she will smell better now. I should brush her old teeth, too.

I promised teen to watch a show with them tonight, so I think I will go take a quick shower now, and then will watch the show with them. That way, I won't have to drag myself out of bed at 7am to get a shower before my event tomorrow. I will be so glad when that is over.

I also ordered my new planner and am excited because I added some new sections to try and stay more organized. I put a weekly work tasks list, a weekly home tasks list, an appointments to make slot, a 'coming up soon' short list area, and spots for each day's schedule. Plus a sheet at the back of each month with areas to write goals and tasks for the month. I am a list person and would get nothing done without my planner. This one will be better than the one I've been using, which is running out in August, so I did need a new one.

Have any of you ever planned out months/a year ahead for what you want to accomplish? I want to write down things that need to be repaired in each home area so I can work on them in a methodical manner this year. It also gives me a solid reason to work on losing weight and getting stronger - so I can get my tasks done.

Sending you support, Lila. Sounds frustrating and stressful and upsetting. I wish there were a way to help you.

Thanks Tatoulia, I will consolidate. I will use it all, with 2 dogs and 2 kids and the grands coming here it won't last that long really. I am a bit of a 'necessity hoarder' because WHAT IF I can't afford xyz? Now that ex is gone it is making me worse about this because detergent gets expensive and he was the one buying it. When this is all gone I may have a freakout.

Today the dryer came and they brought the wrong cord, but it was my fault because I approved it. So I had to take it back to the store and exchange it. And this also means that although installation was included, they couldn't do it, so now I have a cord I need to wire into the dryer, a vent hose to attach to the dryer and the wall, maybe cut it? and I also realized the vent tube and cover (outside) are the originals from the 70s and in bad shape and very, very clogged. I scrubbed but it is pretty bad so I bought a new one when I went to get the cord. Now I have to install that too. I am overwhelmed and nervous but my son who is very busy today said that IF I cannot get it done he will come do the parts I can't do. It is very hot out and I don't want to go outside and try to get the vent replaced and really the whole thing makes me want to cry. I don't want to. I just want a working dryer. It is 4pm and how am I supposed to get all this done AND do wash and dry clothes for tomorrow? Ugh.

I want to stay home tomorrow but I have important commitments I cannot blow off this time. I have to go work from about 8am to 2 or 3 pm. Then I am going to come home and be in a mental coma.

I have so many obligations now that I cannot get out of (taking teen to appointments, running 2 tranings I am in charge of for another 3 weeks, a speaking engagement, etc etc) and I am totally overwhelmed. I am sitting down looking at my planner and seeing if there is anything I can skip.

Good morning! Wow, you did a great job with the new washer, Lila. There's always a ton of gross stuff under an appliance, to be sure. Great work!

Are you able to consolidate any of the 20 laundry bottles? That's too many. If some are of a brand you don't like or won't use, see if they are still "good" and ask if a pet shelter or people shelter will take it. Multiples of stuff used to be my bane. Also keeping stuff that I don't like just in case. Justin Case no longer lives in my house. I evicted him a long time ago.

I recently bought a bath scrub in a commercial store. I rarely do this as I prefer either locally made, self made, or loofah sponges. I loved it. So lemony, did the trick, etc. but my shower was so slippery that I almost fell. Still slippery the next day; it was coated in oil. So I disposed of it. I can't use it. It will kill me. In the old days, I would have hung onto it (why?). I used baking soda in the tub and scrubbed with a towel. And I warned the cleaners when they came in case there are still slippery areas.

If you will use the laundry soap, then make a plan to not buy any for the next year. This is about teaching yourself what is enough and what isn't. It's learning a new habit. I had to unlearn multiples. So hard.

May! What an experience! Amazing!

Cm glad you are swimming!

Really hot here. I'm not really moving much.

My boys and I just got back from the cleanup in Tennessee. It's good to be home! The cleanup went good. In total we got rid of 25 truck loads of junk and garbage.

Update:

I cleared a path from the driveway to the laundry room. Picked up dirty clothes, moved about 20 detergent bottles, moved the litter box, and vacuumed with the shop vac.

My son emptied the litter box and I washed it out. Teen refilled it.

When they took out the old washer it was so dirty under there. I threw away a couple old socks and stuff, swept the lint up. The water leaked so them I mopped that up. I then mopped with cleaner but there was an area that needed a soak and scrub and the guys installing did not have time to wait. So I got it clean enough and they installed the washer. I have not used it yet but it looks SO NICE and clean! Dryer coming tomorrow so will repeat all of this.

Then I brushed my old dog for about 30 minutes with a furminator. I don't use that on my young dogs, it really is not good for the coat, but she is very old and her coat is already a wreck and I could not get all the undercoat out with the other brushes. Now she feels so much better! I will go over her one more time later, but she is way better. I do need to run the vacuum.

Tired but will try to work on the kitchen. What are you guys doing?

Cute pic, SubC, you look relaxed.

I am doing decent at the moment, the computer dejunking is helping me feel capable and like I'm making some progress against the chaos. Really do feel like it'll spill over into other areas.

Swimming also very helpful.

I've been helping with the bunny shelter yesterday and today. Giving the rabbits their "pawdicures." Some of them have some pretty scary nails.

Temps here still supposed to be 100+ but then break between Wednesday and Thursday next week. But yesterday we had a cloud cover that kept it down some and even a miniscule amount of sprinkles of rain. So who knows, maybe the weatherman is not all knowing. Haha.

Thank you for the birthday wishes, Tatoulia!

So cool putting a face with the name, SubC! You look like someone I'd be friends with irl! Thank you for sharing.

I got my list done the other day and have been super busy, but I have off today and tomorrow.

I have a new washing machine coming today and the laundry room is a mess. But it is small. I have about an hour before they could show up, so I am going downstairs now and clearing the path to the laundry room.

There is probably a revolting amount of filth under and behind it, but I don't think I am able to move it and clean until they arrive. So I will clean the floor around it and get the shop vac and a mop ready so when they pull it out, I can quickly clean before they install the new one.

Goal 2 for today is to clean the kitchen and bar/counter, the bane of my existence.

You are adorable!

Quick pop in - if you want to see what I look like, search "hatteras harbor fishing report" go to Monday July 18, and click on the picture from the "Release" I'm the woman in the blue shirt - between my dad and my son in law. You have to click on tge photo to see our faces.

Quick hello

Heatwave here, although the predictions were worse than the reality. Yesterday I went to the water park. That is such an amazing de-stresser for me. Planning to do more of it, plus get restarted on my physical therapy exercises.

Have dropped a few pounds, kind of hovering at one spot, hoping the scale will start going downward soon. At least don't feel quite as uncomfortable in my clothes as when I'd hit that higher point. And coping without the crazy stress eating. My favorite fruits like nectarines and plums, cantaloupe and watermelon, strawberries, cherries, etc. are in season. Getting me some antioxidants and fiber!

Still working on the computer files directory and it feels good. It's going faster now too. I have deleted a lot of junk. I realize it's not the same as getting rid of physical junk, but it's kind of helping me get in the mood for doing that at some point again.

Still awaiting the financial advice from my friend before I go shopping for the new computer. She is vacationing now though. It's okay, I think this one will hold out (fingers crossed) a few weeks longer. It's getting slower but not horrendously so. And I'll have my nice streamlined file directories to put into the new one. Really looking forward to that, and to increased productivity with writing and digital art/graphics, etc.

Today is the last day of the cleanup! Yesterday went really well. We got rid of about 10 truck loads of junk. So hopefully today will go just as well.🙂

Happy birthday dear Lila!

hi guys! Thank you for the tips Tatoulia. All tips are always welcome. You never know what will hit just right and help!

I called and asked not to go in for my meeting today. I am too tired and overwhelmed, so I am going to just call and talk to the 'boss' at 10 instead. Then I am going to pick up my free birthday splurges (you know how places give you free things in your birthday month) and then taking teen to an appointment an hour away. Was going to have Tot, but she is sick. I hope I don't catch it because she was on my lap yesterday for awhile.

The dog treats... well, the cookie type are in the jar and we give the puppy a cookie when he goes into his crate nicely, and at bedtime. The bags of little soft treats are for training him. I will stop buying more. I obviously have enough!! Will consolidate and start actually doing more training to use them for what they were bought for!

I will look at the stuff with a more thoughtful eye at what is in the way etc. I have done absolutely nothing with it this week - been at meetings, too busy, babysitting, etc. I am home most of today although I have to run errands, so will work on things.

My big priority is my kitchen (and bar and dining area) now. My boss heard I have no dh here anymore and son is working and I had mentioned having so many home repairs, and now he is planning to come fix some things and/or send a person or two rom his 'crew' (people I know) to help fix some things in maybe 2 weeks. There is NO WAY I want these people seeing the terrible condition of things now!! It might be in disrepeair but at least it needs to be clean!! omg it stresses me out. But there is my motivation.

I need to be thoughtful about my day, so I am going to sit down and make a list on paper. Go in garage and get some toys for Tot and drop them on their porch so she has something to do while her mom cares for Acorn; go get my free iced coffee and muffin and whatever else is nearby; get an xray; pick up prescriptions; get gas; bank deposit. I think that is all the errands, and then I can be home and take teen to their appointment. I don't have to go out tonight either so can work on the bar.

Road, I felt super crummy after the first shingles shot. The second one didn't affect me. You sound down in the dumps. Sending you strength and much love.

SubC thanks for checking in!

Hello Lila and May! Cm! Thinking of you, too!

Good morning!

Hi May May!

Still on vacation.

Lila, how is the bar going? I would start with the things that have homes because they are easiest.

Why are there dog treats? You aren't buying new dog treats are you?

Beach is calling!

Hi all, still not caught up on the thread yet. Feeling crummy today from shingles vax yesterday. Uggggh. And this tinnitus is driving me straight up the wall. Went to see doc about it but he basically said it's age related hearing loss, nothing you can do, etc. Not curable, not really even treatable other than training your brain to perceive it less. But then I researched more and I did find some stuff about medications causing it so hopefully that's what it is and is still reversible. Send up a little prayer... really struggling tonight.

PSA- make sure you know what damages your kidneys if they are marginal as well as your inner ear. Those are two things that once gone are gone.

Sending out hugs to you all - I'm sure I will feel better qtomorow and will try to catch up then.

Good evening y'all! The 2nd day of the cleanup went really well. We got rid of like 5 truck loads of junk. Now my boys and I are heading to Cracker Barrel for dinner. Then when we get back to the hotel, we're going to chill out in the pool and hot tub for a bit.😁

Thanks for the update, MayMay. Fascinating!

So I've started to make lists to get things done and it's helping a lot. Yesterday I got three goodwill bags to the car. That felt really good. The clothes are all nice and I went back and forth on one blouse. I took a package to the post office just as it was closing. Returning a pair of shoes.

I am desperate to find good walking shoes. I've been wearing Allbirds for a number of years but I've noticed that the flats aren't wide enough. They are wide enough and fit comfortably but the sole isn't wide enough and I've been falling. I tried birdies and I do love the dressier ones, the commuter ones didn't fit. I've just ordered two pair of something called vivaia shoes and we will see how those work. I just want a nice flat to walk around the city.

So that's the news. I have a meeting to run to.

Hi Tatoulia😃 yes the hoarder is still in the house. The hoard is a mix of basically trash and too many possessions. Today was a little rough, but of course it was the first day of the cleanup so I wasn't expecting it to be easy.😅

Looking forward to hearing about the hoarding cleanup. I don't now how many details you can share but I have a few questions. Is the hoarder still in the house? What type of hoard are you looking at? Trash, too many possessions, animals, etc. very interested in what you are doing. Obviously I understand if you cannot share.

Good morning y'all! Today is my first major hoarding cleanup in like NINE YEARS! (Yeah it's been a really really long time!) and it's my boys first major cleanup ever. so this will be very interesting; leading a cleanup with 7 rowdy, hyperactive early 20 somethings.😜

Hey all, hey Lila,

I'm getting my son off to school but you can reach me on Instagram or fb. I will code things a little I guess. Ig: j a n e s a y s 8 but without all the spaces, and fb is s a r a j o n e s and the picture is green sneakers. Msg me anytime. Will check back in later.

I'm going to try to describe something that Tillie once said to me. MayMay if you remember it, please pipe up.

She said something about the things that are in the way. And I realized that whenever I reached for something particular in my kitchen cabinet, I had to first move the measuring glass out of the way. And so I learned to either move or get rid of the measuring glasses in my way in all areas of my life.

Lila, you have a lot on your counter. Anything that is actually just in your way of getting to what you use? If you find you don't use the coffee cup spinner, get rid of it. Is there a reason to save the towel for the ex? It sounds like he has scads of stuff. If the ice cube trays don't fit in the freezer, do you need them? That sort of thing; forgive my bluntness. The analysis can be freeing or it can be overwhelming. And if you don't want to look at things that way, that's okay too. I understand. Or maybe now isn't the time

I have two bags of nice clothing to be donated and a bag of towels for the shelter. As I mentioned in a previous post, I only keep four white bath towels and one Turkish towel. I bought a few towels on sale and have washed those up to replace the ones I donated a week or so ago. Taking a look at my hand towels, I found I have two that can go. I then took a look at my tea towels and let two go.

I still have more clothes to go through. Stuff that fits but isn't fitting my current aesthetic. I panicked bought things when the office opened up and I was too fat for my clothes. Now that I've accepted my weight, I've bought stuff from boutiques that can hold me over for as long as I need. Washing up and putting the panic buys in the donation bag. I want to have three bags ready. BF said he'll take them to the car for me. MayMay I live in the city and my parking garage is six blocks away. It was too humid today to do unnecessary walking. I did walk to get mom's groceries and I walked to the pharmacy to get my rx. I stopped at my favorite little spot for a seltzer and it was fun just sitting in the city alone. BF was working.

I have one final laundry load to fold and put away and I'm ready for bed. I showered after getting home from mom's; the walk with the groceries was intense. Not too hot but plenty humid.

Thanks Lila!😃 I plan on posting more often.😁