Lila I think Giuseppe are being too hard on yourself. You are getting over and illness and you are fatigued. Do not take this out on yourself.

Your friend was being a jerk. Sometimes that happens. But keep an eye on it; don't let it happen too often

I had trouble sleeping last night so I just lay quietly in my bed. I woke up not exhausted so it worked.

I met a friend for a walk today and it was lovely. A sunny day and windy and my coat kept me warm. Then BF and I ran errands. So it all worked out pretty well.

I showered as soon as I got home, I just had a bagel.

We have tomorrow off for MLK day. I have some plans for the house. I need to make a bag of items to donate.

Lila, again, don't treat yourself poorly. I hope you are enjoying the dog! I'm a cat person and cats are relatively easy. At lease with the dog you'll be able to walk a few times a day! And you'll feel better.

SubC, glad to hear that you and husband are getting back on track.

hi Tatoulia and SubClinical,

I was sick most of the week but by Thursday night felt mostly better. Fri and yesterday I was back to normal except I am so exhausted. SO. Exhausted. I can barely do anything. Of course I am taking care of a puppy and potty training him so that in itself is tiring. I have done nothing with my house, and seem to have lost 2 checks... one for several hundred dollars. That is stressing me out terribly so I tried to sort piles and look everywhere today, but no luck. I have a headache as well. I am gaining weight and eating junk, so feel awful and my self esteem is in the toilet. I also had a friend call me and berate me this week and that was pretty upsetting. She's done this once before but I thought we talked it through that time. She suspects things of me that are not true. I am just tired of it and think, who needs a friend like that? But she is in my circle, so I have to see her anyway so may as well make nice. Hard to trust though. Tiring.

I so want to fix my life, I really do but don't know how. My time management is so poor and I have no motivation. And in the spirit of sharing what I got rid of and what I brought in, I got rid of nothing all week. I bought several new dog toys. But they are getting used, at least. I feel like a failure in so many areas of my life. I've been looking at android phone apps for weight loss, and thinking about doing OA online, or counting calories, or walking. But I waste all my days and do pretty much nothing. I don't have any energy for anything.

Good morning.

Tatoulia, I'm glad your sleep schedule is better.

I didn't do much yesterday. A lot of emails related to the schedule change and a short time tidying and finishing up a couple of old school related projects in the studio. I ran the dishwasher. I read online a lot and I didn't exercise. I emailed back and forth with ❤️Dd a lot processing my frustration.

Dh and I are ok now. He reminded me that the Christmas tree has to come down.

I think I am ready to pull myself together and move on today. Send badger - he's been bored lately.

Checking in on Lila, Tillie, CM

SubC I am so sorry about your ups and downs at school. I know this is putting a terrible strain on you.

I am glad that your husband is trying to pull it together. How are things now?

I've enjoyed a quiet day at home. I was good and went to bed at a reasonable hour and didn't fool with the internet. I slept in today. I could hear the winds howling.

I am hoping to get the vaccine this spring. I don't know when it will be available to me. I am greatly cheered about hearing that people are getting vaccinated!

I am going to go visit BF for a while. Maybe do a crossword puzzle. He saves the Sunday NYTimes for me so we always have something to do together.

I'll report back later. Meeting a friend for a walk tomorrow.

This morning Dh is being extra nice to me. Probably because the first thing I did when I woke up this morning was pick up my iPad, which I left on my teacher email. So the first thing I saw was a message called "URGENT TEACHER MESSAGE" so I read it, and we are staying with last weeks schedule for two more weeks. They decided after I went to bed last night. And then I cried.

It snowed. The woods are pretty. I'm trying to learn to live in the moment. Hope is ripping me apart.

Hi Tatoulia,

I'm glad you are having a good day.

I'm super tired, but I made it through what I hope is my last day of online school. As in last. As in ever.

Dh and I never really resolved anything - he said he didn't want to talk about it anymore, but he is talking to me and he made me ravioli, so I guess we are done fighting. Food is his love language.

I have three students starting next week. I lost two when we went online in the fall, so that's up one net. And more evaluations.

I can't talk to Dh about school.

The student who added today makes 10 in one class. I emailed the administration that ten is all I can seat 6 feet apart unless I stick #11 right in front of the classroom door, and in minutes got back "closing it now." It is hard to be a teacher in this, but it has to be so much harder to be an administrator. They are doing a really good job.

Cases have gone down here just a little.

And my teacher ddil got vaccinated today. If the other Grammy and my Dd1 could get vaccinated, I would feel so much better!

Tomorrow I'll think about my house again.

Okay I'm having a good day!

I made a call to my mother's place about her cat box (the person who used to clean it has left), I dropped off a new litter box and some liners, I updated her chewy order, I wrote out two bills, I wrote a few postcards, I went to the post office to mail, I went to cvs abs I went to Whole Foods.

It feels so good to be part of the living again. I don't know what got into me but I'll have another good night sleep again tonight. No phone after a certain time.

SubC I am so sorry. Sending you strength and peace. Breathe, drink water, and have a well-balanced meal.

I was checking in to say I slept normally last night! And look where you are. I'm so sorry.

I showered and washed my hair and then I fell asleep for a bit. I got up around 11, brushed my teeth again, started the dishwasher, and went to bed. No fooling with the phone or iPad. So I am refreshed for a welcome change. It's sunny and I have opened my drapes to enjoy the sun. I may actually venture out today. Yesterday I felt weird when I put my coat on to take my garbage out. The cat not lived abs became agitated. When I saw what my hair looked like, I was scared. It was so dirty. I think I last washed it maybe Monday. I'd showered since then but not washed my hair. It is nine straight and in serious need of a cut.

Okay off to work! I'm brand new today!

Dd and dsil brought Bean over to say hi to me in the school parking lot after school yesterday. His hair is growing. I think it's light brown. Dd says blond.

Dh and I are fighting. I slept badly. This is my absolute worst thing and I don't have energy for anything else. I seriously considered quitting my job last night.

That is very good news about your husband's job, SubC. I'm so glad for the news.

I am working on my second load of laundry now. It definitely piled up on me. It is drizzly and grey but in the 30s. I have the fireplace going. I am exhausted. Finally got into bed around 4 AM. I need to turn this around! I'm just glad I'm doing laundry right now. Anything to look productive.

My post this am said I got the lamps in the mail. It should've said I bought them used in the last two years. My goal now is to get the lightbulb changed in my bedroom ceiling lamp. Not the easiest feat.

My house is so clean. These women are a dream. My only goal now is to get promoted and I only need to clear an extra 2000 a year to be able to have them once a week instead of once every two weeks. It's def a pain since when they are here since I'm home and my place is so small. But it's a luxury I really love. Cat has found her hiding place during the cleanings so we are all in good shape.

I have all my garbage ready to go tonight. Just need it to be 5 PM. I also need to figure out dinner.

I have stuck with not putting things in a rest stop area and it will hopefully develop into a habit.

Lol, I'm a carbs girl - French toast, croissants? Do you think if you stuck muffins in before you went to bed they'd still be warm when I got up? (My oven will turn itself off)

Good job on the lamp decision!

Half day at school today and then remote tomorrow.

Dh is in the office all week, but they are talking about closing his building and going to work from home only for the rest of 2021! Meanwhile I will be back fully in person starting Tuesday. I have two kids who have told me their parents are keeping them remote - in addition to the ones who were already remote in the fall.

The good news is he is not getting laid off at this point in time.

I'll report back if I get anything accomplished.

Oh my goodness! It's 2:30 in Boston and I'm up. And to think you'll be up at 5! Should I start the coffee in a bit? Anything you'd like for breakfast?

I'm glad you had a satisfying day!

I've decided to get rid of the lamps on my dresser. I bought them used in the mail last two years. They aren't doing it for me. If I changed the lightbulb in my ceiling fan, I won't need them. There's a decision I didn't see coming!

Tatoulua, I am sorry about your mom. I hope she has a mild case and recovers quickly!

Good job putting away your Christmas decorations! Mine are mostly down - just the tree and some bows left, plus a few snowmen I will leave out until March.

When I talked to my mom she said "now I have to put Christmas away. I didn't think it would be so soon."

I had a good school day and I exercised. I even started roughing out the evaluations (making blank copies for one class and filling in names and dates) and I unloaded the dishwasher. Since I left for school at 8:15 and got home at 5:45, I think that's enough.

I'm not sure about your sleep schedule. I think you're nocturnal. You went to bed two hours before I got up.

Okay Christmas stuff is away! I did it!

I also washed my wine glasses from Christmas and they are drying now. Look at me, actually doing something.

Yay for your parents getting vaccinated! My mother is due to be vaccinated on the 21st but we have a problem. The problem is that she's been diagnosed. So far still breathing okay. I've kept this information largely to myself, although, I did need to inform her other children.

Does going to bed at 3 count as progress or delay? I did shower around 2:30 AM.

I took my wreaths down today. My cleaners arrive tomorrow instead of today. I've been waiting because my carpet will need to be vacuumed due to the pine needles.

I have more to do here.

I guess they figured out the correct dates for the evaluations, SubC. It happens.

I'm on my planning period.

My parents got vaccinated this morning! They have appointments for their second shots in three weeks. I am so happy!

Also, somebody did some math and my evaluations are now due feb 15.

School went ok today. They kept their masks on and mostly stayed apart and worked on their projects. Nobody crowded my desk and nobody was less than 6 ft from anybody else for 15 minutes. The heat was cranked so high that I had all the windows open and a couple of kids peeled down to tshirts.

I got behind another teacher from my school on the way in and almost cried when I saw his car. I miss my school so much! I miss the way it was.

I put away some more Christmas decorations and hung up some laundry today and washed some dishes.

My teacher dil got to put her name in for the vaccine lottery today.

Tatoulia - go to bed!🦥

SubC I am sorry for the struggle of teaching in a pandemic. This is so hard and I see what a toll it's taking on you and your husband

It was still after 2 when I went to bed last night. Insanity.

My cleaners are coming on Thursday instead of Wednesday this week.

Good morning.

CM, good job on the table/shelf switch! Hang in there!

Tatoulia, that looked like a lot of whittling! I think you are doing well.

Lila, I hope thus week us better. I second the retest suggestion though. It is better to know if you actually have covid.

Don't worry about the house right now. When you are sick you need to rest so your body can heal. Volunteers are usually hard to replace. Especially enthusiastic ones. Especially in a pandemic. I don't think you should worry.

Several of us struggle with our weight. I don't know if the food/weight thing is directly connected to the hoarding thing, but I think they both are symptoms of the struggle with executive function. I have good days and bad days, but on the days when it is hard for me to make good decisions, it is hard across the board - I can't make myself clean out or exercise. Also some days when I have accomplished a lot in one area, my willpower is exhausted and I slip in another. I think the best we can do is work on strengthening those skills one good decision at a time.

A long time ago I acquired a box of little notepads with blank perforated sheets. My kids used to use them to make tickets or coupons or receipts in their games. I found two in my desk. Every day this year I have been writing down all the good things I do on a new "ticket" it is helping me to look back and reflect on my ability to make good choices and it motivates me to want to fill the ticket. (I haven't done that yet.) I write everything - even remembering to take my vitamins and showering.

Dh went to the office today. He has a new co-op and he has to get her settled in. I am going back to the school building. Cases here have only gotten worse since we decided to do a limited reopening and the rate of spread is increasing. All of this is insane.

Our governor is working with school superintendents. The 1b group is now defined as "employees of school districts committing to full time in person." I am not an employee of a school district, so while we would happily offer full time in person if we could get our staff vaccinated, I may not be on the list. Dh is really angry that I am going back. I don't know what I am going to do.

Cm great work! I hope that felt satisfying to get your table set up! I love getting rid of stuff!

I'm doing a dry January. No buying things til February 10th. Only necessities. I did well all through Christmas and no Christmas sale shopping. Not even the sale Christmas stuff. I also got rid of some decorations. So far haven't felt the pull, which is fantastic.

I have not whittled down my to do list. So far I've dropped the things off at mom's and the kitchen is almost there. All garbage and recycling out and kitty has a clean litter box. I did a load of cat blankets and I'm running the dishwasher. I have the Christmas stuff boxed up.

Lila, I am sorry you are ill! If you feel well enough, please get a second test.

I think that hoarding and the emotions behind it affect us in various ways. For me, cleaning and clearing out has given me peace. And that peace opens doors. Everything became easier for me as I started to clean out. So you may find that with dealing with your physical surroundings, you'll feel more able to deal with your physical self.

Okay good people, I'm off for now.

hi all,

I have had quite the week. I went out of town for two days and it was not a pleasure trip. It was exhausting. Made it home. Got my new puppy on Friday. Saturday night I came down sick. Sunday went in and tested negative for covid but my friend said since I tested early it could be a false positive. So I had to miss 2 days, so far, of volunteer work that I love. I have a position that I truly love and am needed... but I expect I will not be able to do my work this week at all and maybe into next week due to "covid like symptoms" and frankly I am terrified they will replace me. My volunteering is like... my life, what gives me joy and what I love, so this thought makes me very very anxious.

Meanwhile now I am stuck at home 24/7. I am trying to see a positive in that I have lots of time to bond with my new pup. However I have a bad headache and extreme fatigue also, so am getting absolutely nothing done. Getting more behind on everything. Piles are growing. I feel guilty. I just sit here watching tv and thinking about sleeping. But if I sleep in the day I wont sleep at night. Or when I lie down to na the puppy will howl and wake me up. Or one of my kids will wake me up. So I am just resting with my feet up, tea and hopefully soup if my husband brings it home. I asked him to get me some soup and some oranges. If he does I will feel better.

Do any of you feel like you not only hoard up your house, but also hoard up your body? I have a major problem with my weight. I overeat and snack all the time. I have tried so many ways of changing it. I've lost and gained a lot of weight. But there is something a little scary about being "skinny" to me. Like it is a lack, and being fat is abundance. It is not a rational thought but its how I feel. I want to eat and eat. Thus my body is about 60 pounds overweight at this point (I had lost all of that and more, but regained some over the past 2 years and then a heavy amount during Covid). I eat to comfort myself. I want to stop. I think about going to OA. I think about changing my habits. Yet I don't. There is always some reason or excuse. I see some new snack and have to have it. It just occurred to me that it is the same mindset as my house hoarding.

Channeled frustrations into getting the girl bunny's new table under her cage and the old rickety shelves she and boy bunny had out to the curb for whomever.

Good morning and coffee clinks!

I was still hanging around at 2 AM. Not good!

As soon as I got home from running errands last night I hopped in the shower and washed my hair.

You have a full day in front of you, SubC.

My goals for today are:
Clear kitchen counters and wipe
Drop off things at mom's (I bought her three primrose plants for her windowsill last night)
Garbage up and out/ditto recycling
Christmas stuff away. Away. Away.

That's a good list. I'll keep everyone posted.

Good morning!

Tatoulia, I hope you got to bed at a reasonable hour last night.

I made some progress on the laundry and put all but one basket away. - well, there is stuff hanging to dry...

I also got almost caught up on dishes.

I detagged my new bras, and washed one of them. Dh and I both cleaned out our underwear drawers (but I still didn't do pajamas) and I found three bras and a pair of underwear that can go. I also found some twin sheets that can go - a plain white flat sheet that I used to use with a printed fitted sheet. And the fitted sheet. I have enough sheets. And the twin bed may not even get used again until Bean is old enough to sleep in it.

Dd called very excited last night - Bean has a tooth! She is amazed at how sharp it is.

In other news - Dh helped me hang my bulletin board in the basement and I have 65 evaluations to do. Far fewer this year because our enrollment is down and classes were cut. If I start on them today they will not be a big deal. (So of course I will probably put them off another week). Also, they are actually due on the last day if the semester (someone didn't do the math right) so I may turn mine in late for the first time ever. If your evaluations are late, they hold your paycheck. But they are due on the 5th and we don't get paid until the 28th. Really though, I will probably do them all and just review the ones from each class and submit at the end of the last day.

Today I am going to actually get ready for the school week and also put some Christmas stuff away. It's supposed to be below freezing almost all day.

Good afternoon! I slept a lot yesterday. My sleep is upside down. I'm have to pull it back together.

I did a few loads of laundry yesterday and I also had a zoom visit with a girlfriend. Today I also overslept but I made it out to get food and in a bit, I'll do mom's grocery shopping

I took a donations bag up to my car.

It's getting dark so I'll head out soon.

I'm sorry you won't be able to see your grandson in a while SubC. That is so sad. And he'll miss you too!

That's the news from here. I still haven't made my pj donation pile. Must do that.

I have been sticking with the plan of not putting things in a rest area-I make them go to their proper ola es with no stops or layovers on the way.

Good morning.

Hello Tatoulia, CM, Tillie, Emily, Lila, Tessa, and readers unknown.

Looks like it is a hard time for everybody.

I did not work on anything for school yesterday. I did do some laundry and dishes, and I exercised. I reassembled the daybed I had moved to the barn loft, and I identified two old, worn decorative pillows that arrived with Dh thirty years ago that can go.

I ordered my garden seeds and some replacement chickens. Unfortunately, the chickens won't ship until the end of May.

So they won't lay until 2022! I'm going to do another hatch in my classroom as soon as I can get enough eggs., but that will probably still be March.

The sun came out, so I bundled up in my old barn coat and heavy gloves and jeans and worked on clearing some brambles. It's a job that has to be done every year, and every year I wait until spring and it's hot and there are other things that need to be done, and the poison Ivy gets me.

So, points to me for better planning and time management.

Stay home, stay safe, keep making better choices one day at a time, and check in when you can!

...and then some other stuff happened....

We didn't do the pajamas, Dh begged off. Haven't done much of anything productive. I did turn in my class proposals for next year. I requested full time. I still don't know if that is a mistake.

One of every 1,000 people in my county was diagnosed with covid yesterday. Not by yesterday, on yesterday. One of DD's team was also positive this week. She says I can't see Bean anymore in January. Maybe February. Maybe March.

Currently my state says teachers will be able to sign up for shots after Feb 1.

Our board met this week and adjusted the return plan. My 1st and 2nd graders will be in the building on Tuesday/th this week. My 3/4s will be there on Wednesday. We will all be at home on Friday. Then everybody comes back on the 19th.

My teens are starting to believe that they will never come back. One of them isn't even allowed to get his supplies. His parents have bought a bunch of food and nobody goes outside. I am going to ask them if they will let me mail him some stuff. (The office has home addresses, but teachers don't.)

Anyway, I will be in the building all day tu/w/th because I have back to back older classes and younger. I will teach remotely from my classroom. I am trying to figure out what to do about my mask, because I have never taken it off in the building. I wore it the day I went to the empty building to fire the kiln because I had no way to know when someone was last unmasked in the boiler room. I can imagine the maintenance guy in there coughing away for hours. I guess I will wear it in my empty room while I teach my online classes - I don't see how we can have the windows open....

And there is all the big stuff that is happening...
One student who has been struggling was back on Thursday
Another was out Thursday because he was too physically ill to attend online. (Not biologically sick)

Today I need to start my evaluations and distract myself with my house. One day at a time, maybe just this week - I need to be as prepared as I can for this week.

Hello! It's late and I need to go to bed. Garbage and recycling out. Week has gone by fast. Will try to email Cory tmr.

Good morning!

I don't think Tillie will mind. I'll email Cory. I'd emailed him about something else recently so will reach out on Tillie.

Cm channel your energy! It'll be a win-win. You'll work off the energy and you'll get some decluttering done!

I think you answered the question accurately, SubC. It's a process to reopen school and you are reinforcing that it is a process with various considerations. I think that's a good lesson,

I haven't done a thing today except work. I have to change my sheets and I definitely have to do some laundry.

I have to write and send thank you notes and some postcards to my ?people'.