TILLIE I MISS YOU SO MUCH. PRAYING YOU ARE SAFE.

I did something small but big today?ready? I got rid of all of my nylons and tights. I haven't worn any in a year. They are taking up a deep drawer in my closet. I have plenty of new nylons in the packages that I'll open and wear once back at work. But the rest are leaving the building. And I'm excited about this. I don't know if the dividers would fit in a different drawer since that is the deepest but I'm thinking of moving my sheets to that drawer. Anyway this was a big decision and I'm very happy.

As to my loan, you will recall that I was trying to get it paid off by May and I was working very hard toward that goal. I had to back off of the aggressive schedule I set but it should be done by October if not sooner. I am continuing to pay double payments each month. I found it too hard to keep up with the quadruple payments. But that is on track so I'm happy about that.

Museum was lovely today. Lovely.

Okay going to write out a few postcards then go to bed, I dried my hair today and out on makeup. Felt good.

So what are you doing today?

Cm I am so sorry for the turmoil in your life. I am so sorry.

I have to shower to get ready for our museum field trip. I was going through my earphones to find the ones that BF likes and he said make sure they work and I said I will, but I don't keep broken stuff.

I've seen people my whole life try a pen that doesn't work, then put it back instead of tossing it. Throwing out broken or used up stuff gives me such pleasure. Bonus: It's an easy way to build good habits.

Okay going to shower now. My poor old cat is sleeping next to me. She's still in great shape but time is marching on.

Just checking in because of the nasty weather; glad to see the regulars here are also weathering the various storms. We have had no power outages, for which I am grateful.

So sick of this nasty frigid weather. It's gonna take some getting back up to speed on life. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday; that feels sudden since I've only been out to start the car most days, though today we did make a short trip for groceries at the "warm" part of the day. But I have church tomorrow and I think it'll be doable if we don't get too much snow tonight.

Too much is happening, even more big things I'm not ready to delve into just yet. Trying to have faith it'll work out but some is super scary. And it's going to take so much in the way of coping skills to keep at the decluttering while trying to figure out a plan for the big scary at the same time.

Hello everyone! I had a productive day at work. Then BF and I went for a walk. Much different from the terribly icy conditions last night.

I had to wash kitty's blankets again today. She spit up. She's getting older. We are coming up on our 16th anniversary together (cat and me) and seventeen years with BF. Not bad.

I took tmr off. We are going to museum and I'll probably just lay around in the AM.

I am running the dishwasher and I wiped the counters.

The 27" of snow gave me pause! The 17" does too, but not as much!

Yes 4 dozen roses that my cat is eating. I moved them to hallway where she can't reach.

It is grey and gloomy and yet I love this weather!

I did a late night laundry of kitty's blanket last night. She had vomited in it. I'm going to gather up my garbage and figure out what is a must buy.

So, now that I have made my correction and hope Tatoulia will see it, I can come back and say how sweet I think it is that you got roses Tatoulia.

Also that I hope you get all your things before it rains.

I finished my evaluations, two loads of laundry and some dishes. I am starting to feel draggy. Maybe because I have been up for almost ten hours already. - "mid-afternoon" slump.

My boss sent out an email asking everyone to explore alternative assignments that do not necessarily have to be livestream so that we don't have to have four snow days this week. I think I can get behind that. As long as I don't have to livestream. I never want to teach online again!

Off to sort and plant seeds!

Oh my! 17 inches of snow! Not 27! Correcting that fast now that I saw it.

Hello Ladies! Glad to see you here. I confess that I haven't read your posts because there's the danger that I'll read them and run out of time.

I hooe everyone had reasonable weekends. I visited the one girlfriend I've been seeing since the pandemic on Saturday. Yesterday I spent time with BF for Valentine's Day. He managed, despite working everyday morning, noon, and night, to sneak out and get me roses.

I am enjoying my day off. I have to go to pharmacy to get my prescription filled. Normally my meds come by mail (insurance mandates this-I hate it) but I'm out of a daily med that my insurance doesn't cover so I asked dr to phone it in to my pharmacy. I called the pharmacist to let her know I pay the $200 or so myself so to please just process. I'll pick it up soon.

I am out of kitty litter and toilet paper, so I'm going to have to look alive soon.

Rainstorm on its way. Okay now to catch up on your posts!

It is do quiet here.

My husband ordered a humidifier from Amazon. It's been running three nights. He sleeps better. This morning he woke me up at 3:30 by pulling on my pillow - I was probably snoring - usually I pull my pillow back, roll over, go back to sleep. But my brain heard a strange noise, I became alert, what was that? As I started to relax, it happened again. Now I was fully awake. Oh, the humidifier makes a bubble noise. Start to drift if - bubble! Start to drift off - bubble! It is randomly spaced and not the same every time. At 4 I gave up and got up. I had less than 5.5 hours of sleep. But mr. kitty likes the company.

It is snowing. We are supposed to get 27 inches of snow from the storm this week. I wonder if I will have any school days. We have everything we need.

I have 7 more evaluations to do before 5 pm. And a college recommendation letter to write. And seeds to start. And lessons to plan in case we have school. And some little toy gifts to finish making for Bean.

And many many dishes to wash.

I cut my willow starts this weekend. And I watched a live stream of a homestead content creator I semi-follow. (I don't officially follow anybody or anything, I just watch his stuff sometimes.) That was a new thing for me.

My arm is almost better.

So yesterday I celebrated Chinese New Year by getting my jab. (New, fresh immune system beats new clothes, clean houses and a haircut!)

Today my arm feels like I've been kicked by an alpaca. Still worth it!

Dd says they are curling up at home this weekend and seeing the other Grammy next weekend, so no Bean for me until March - that will be a whole month!

I still have 19 evaluations, a college recommendation, and a thank you note for Valentine's Day cookies to do this weekend. The weather next week looks awful, so we may have more snow days.

The master schedule for school comes out on Tuesday - and I see what classes I am competing against.

My state rescinded it's curfew this week because hospitalizations were down (hey! This thing seems to be working! Let's stop doing it...)

Oh Lila,

I'm sorry about your husband.

I'm really glad to see you back though!

Good job finding the money and cards!

When I first started clearing out, those moments when I got reinforced were hard. I think the best thing is to notice them and reframe them to make sure that they don't lead to more acquiring "ok, I don't need anything for this puppy because I already have so many things! Where else can I make use of things that I already have to avoid spending/getting?" (How is the eating the diet food going? Can you have another meal of that today if it isn't gone?)

The fear of scarcity and want are very hard. But that is not a happy way to live. You will get to a place where you start to realize that you have more of some things than you need and can honestly ask yourself if you are really using it if it is in the midst of a pile in your room (or you realize that you are using it, but it's in a pile because the place it should be is filled by things you are not using.)

one of the things I found that helped overcome that mindset was to look around and say "ok, clearly I have far too much stuff" (you have said that!) then, "If I have more stuff than a person needs, I should not need to get any new stuff until I have used this stuff up." (Which, judging from the amount of stuff I had should have taken about 300 years) Then do everything you can to avoid buying anything - which will help you reduce your spending and avoid feeling that scarcity panic (reframe your actions - eating your stockpiled food is a way to pay your electric bill, because it leaves that grocery money for the bill.) You do not live in scarcity, you live in over abundance!

Shop your stash - if you buy gifts, is there anything in your stash that is like new or sentimental and would work as a gift? (I don't know if you are a maker, but I have been forcing myself to actually make things with my hoarded materials.) If you think you need socks, examine your sock supply - try to find every sock. Do you still need socks? Can you get rid of an equal number if old socks? If the socks would make great dog toys - do the same thing with the dog toys... once you have followed the path through all the categories, either don't buy the socks, or get rid of an equivalent number of something first - because remember - you have more than you need! Saving more will just take away one of the things you don't have - space! (The understanding of space as a thing took me a long time.) you are not choosing to have fewer things, you are choosing between things - what do you need more - this object, or the space it takes up?

You can have more space without spending money by trading some of your hoarded things for it - it's like using the gift cards. Yes, I might use this candle some day, but I can trade it for space right now and use the space right now and for all the days until I would have used the candle, and then, since I saved (x) candles already, I will use one of those and I will have more space, and by the time I run out of candles I will have saved a lot of money not buying things and I can get a new candle - having enjoyed my space for YEARS!)

Candles are one of my hard spots. I have started burning them. I am realizing how astonishingly long they last. I like ACTUALLY having beautiful candles on the dinner table instead of looking at them in the drawer and THINKING about having candles on the dinner table...

You can do this!

hi all, I made my way back. My husband had a medical emergency and was taken 3 hours away for surgery. He is home and recovering well now but I had to take him back for his check up and that was also exhausting.

Did I tell you I got a puppy? And because I hoard, I have had to buy almost nothing for him. This is great! But also feeds my desire to hoard and hang onto everything because if I had not held onto hundreds of dog things for the last 10 years, I would have to buy new.

I was almost out of money last week and was starting to panic because I was about to run out and had bills to pay. I remembered how when I used to hide gift cards, I sometimes also would hide cash in a certain cabinet that is full of random stuff. So I started digging and came out with $400 cash. Thank goodness! I also found 2 more gift cards. One was expired 2 years ago but I called and they agreed to replace it for me ($25).

Aside from that I just keep looking at the piles of stuff and feeling ashamed. I am glad it is a pandemic and no one can show up and come over and see how terribly I am living. I look at my bedroom and think, if there was an emergency and someone had to come in here to help me or fix something, I would be so embarrassed. But when I start looking at individual items in the piles, EVERY ITEM I think, "this is something I am using/will use soon/can't replace!" How to even start? The trash is gone already.

Good to "see" you and catch up a bit.

These times are certainly trying us in unexpected ways, SubC.

In Massachusetts we can get a caregivers shot but to do so, the caregiver and the person over 75 must go together. Mom's shots are given at her place. She would never hold up in a line, not even in her wheelchair. So I'll wait my turn. I know it's coming.

Okay back to work. Cleaners come today and I have a ton of work to do.

CM, I like the little polar bear.

Tatoulia, way to go on the valentines! And letting go of the dollhouse furniture. That would be hard for me.

Yesterday it started snowing during my last class. It took me two hours to drive home. This morning my back muscles are so sore! I know where I was holding the tension!

I'm so sorry you can't go see your mom! I wish you were in one of the places where they are vaccinating a care person for residents.

Dh is jealous. What he says is "I'm really annoyed that you can get vaccinated and I can't. We're a unit." And my brain is going "yes, we're a unit, where you can do your job and live your life just fine without ever leaving the house" - except he's not the introvert he always claimed he was (which I knew) and he's lonely and miserable.

As always, I got less done than I wanted yesterday - hopefully I can get caught up some this morning. Some schools are closed or delayed, but I think we will be normal (if "normal" is still a thing.) it's supposed to stop snowing at 8 a.m. and not snow again until next week, so I should be ok for my shot tomorrow.

Okay I have two packages ready: the valentines for the kids and a box to my other friend with more dollhouse furniture in it. I also slipped in a picture of me, age four, opening the dollhouse furniture at Christmas.

I haven't sealed the valentines box because we need to add cheeseits because of a super bowl bet my BF made with the kids. For their box, I took my toaster box, turned it inside out, glued it back together and now I have a sturdy broen box to use. The dollhouse furniture is in a box that was shipped to me.

So, I broke my glue gun. I haven't used it in years and years and I broke it. I was able to use it to get the box together. And I thought, oh, I need to get a new one. NO I DONT. I haven't used it in years. If I need one then I will buy one. And then I thought but what if someone needs a glue gun. And I had to remind myself, I am no longer a warehouse for other people's needs. I haven't had that tendency in several years.

Mom gets her vaccine tomorrow. It was delayed for her since she had COVID-19. Most of the people at her place are getting their second shots tomorrow. I won't be able to see mom until I am vaccinated, which is a shame because it'll be a while for me. I miss her and the kitty! We were video chatting via her GrandPad by Consumer Cellular and in the background, on her piano, was the perfect kitty! Boy I miss her!

I have the other toaster ready to be returned. I have taped the receipt to the top. The hardware store is in the way to the post office, so if I motivate I can go tomorrow.

Solid attempt at a polar bear, CM! 5e little one definitely turned out! Hope you had a good time at the grocery store! SubC you are doing a great job with your evaluations!

My focus is a bit off these days. I don't know what it is, I have been eating right, which is something of a shock. My cleaners come tomorrow and I'm excited for that.

I have a few things I can do right now to improve my place. All of my valentines are out with the exception of things we have for our friends' kids. I should box them up now. Also, I need to be return that first toaster. So maybe I should focus on that for a while. Probably an hour's worth of work to get everything ready.

That mess on my post was supposed to be a polar bear made of ASCII characters. Obviously the spacing didn't stay the same.

Let me try something simpler... mini polar bear

ʕ´?ᴥ?`ʔ

Hunkered down surviving this weather, which I believe got delivered wrongly to us - it seems to be the shipment that should've gone to someplace in the Arctic Circle. And it's supposed to get way worse Friday through Tuesday. By then, if a polar bear went strolling down our street, I would not think it unusual at all.

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Roommate and I did go out to the grocery store in her car, and after I finish typing this, I'm going to start my van up and drive it around a few blocks just to keep the battery alive.

SubC, thanks for the extra details about how you do the 100 things. I had been sporadically picking up items trying to get them returned to their homes (or into the trash, depending). I like the OCD thing to get to a multiple of 10, too. I certainly have hundreds of items I can be picking up.

Tatoulia, I'm glad you're enjoying your pretty snow. Since we've had so much cold, even though we didn't get but about an inch it has mostly stayed around. And the flakes are sparse but persistent coming down, which is an unusual pattern for this area. The cold has made the furnace run so much that I actually overheated by about 5:00 this morning. Kitty boy kept me company. Your little girl will want her blankie soon enough. And her mommy. Have you gotten to go see your mom and other kitty lately?

Good morning all.

Tatoulia, I know that you typed "flakes" but " Yesterday was snowy and the flames were nice and big." makes a beautiful picture in my head.

We have a proper snow this morning. It's beautiful! We haven't had real, deep snow for a long time. School isn't cancelled yet, but I'm sure it will be - the local public schools where I teach are closed, and we draw from a wide area that is also mostly already closed. Our school always posts late because we start later and the person who makes the decision doesn't have to get up early.

Maybe this will help keep some of the people who were infected at Super Bowl parties from spreading the virus around before their symptoms develop.

Mr. Kitty is not impressed. He sat on the porch for a long time, and then he gave up and decided to come in and go use the litter box.

I will try to use this to make some progress on something.

I did 12 more evaluations yesterday. I have 19 left. They are mostly not hard ones, so I should be done in less than 8 hours, but I wanted to unload the kiln before I did them so I could look over some if the kids' projects. I will probably try to get some mostly done and then touch them up later after we do have school.

WTG for sticking with the 100 things!

I did finally change my sheets. Yesterday was snowy and the flames were nice and big. I went for a walk and after coming home I showered and climbed into my bed with clean sheets. I can't remember if I told you that. My cleaners I think come on Thursday, so I'll have clean sheets again.

I laundered the cat blankets today so of course they smell funny to her. I've run the dishwasher and am ready for bed. I've been working til now. I did take a break but then worked from about 8:30 to now, which is just after 11. Trash out and clean litter box. I wiped the kitchen counters, too.

I had a dream last night that I was sweeping a messy lobby of a large building. Then I started going through a closet and there were lovely vintage clothes. The regular stuff I was getting ready to donate. There were also other stuff like building materials that someone offered to buy. So in my dreams I'm taking care of other people's things.

I do not miss the days when I used to clean house for a trash hoarder. That was terrible on me. Yet very rewarding. But still terrible. I couldnt use his bathroom so everything had to be timed just so.

I used to think other peoples problems were mine to solve. And then I'd let myself be taken advantage of. I would cook and clean for people to my own detriment. Then I came here and got my act together.

Tatoulia, I'm sorry the toaster was so terrible stressful.

I so often "bring the ordeal." So I completely understand.

I put away more than my 100 things today (I stop counting at 100) including putting the dolls that go on top of the cabinet back and discarding 4 things that would have been obvious as trash to anyone else long ago.

I also did 13 evaluations. Not as many today, but several of these were a lot more complicated. I have 30 left to do - so fewer than half. And I will have next weekend if they aren't done.

Dd sent me an adorable video of Bean playing with a ribbon. I think he wants to do rhythmic gymnastics. I doubt I will see him this week, because dd is probably afraid I will get sick and not get my shot.

Good morning yet I see it's afternoon. Our snow has started and it's the big flakes kind and extremely pretty. I just stripped my bed because honestly I need clean sheets once a week.

Keep up the work, everyone! And SubC don't apologize! We are all trying to acknowledge each other and it's easy to miss a post or forget. I am exhibit a.

Okay, will figure out things after my breakfast. I do have a list of things I need.

I got my new toaster last night. You'd be surprised what an ordeal that's been. By the way, I brought the ordeal to the situation. I am hoping I can return the first toaster I bought. It was hard trying to find one not made in China and finally I gave up then I wanted to buy from a small retailer instead of big box, then the toaster I got from the small store was way too cheap looking and feeling and way too large for my counter, etc, etc and one I liked was nearly $200 (I kid you not), so then I ended up at crate and barrel last night and bought a toaster that looks nice, isn't super large and is under 100. What a complete and utter scene. Oh and I decided since I love crate and barrel above all other stores, I would at least do my part to keep them in business. So you see how I torture myself. Now to find where to dispose of the old toaster which is steps away from causing a fire and which the hazardous materials drop off has been cancelled in Boston.

I don't know why I didn't see your post last night Tatoulia.

I did not mean to leave you out.

I think you are a superhero for donating platelets!

CM, the 100 items thing motivates me to pick up all the little bits I would otherwise leave lying around - earrings on the dresser? Into the earring box! Because one pair of earrings on the dresser is not a big deal, or one coin, or one business card, or one hair band... but there is such a drift of little items on my dresser that it collects dust and I can't dust it. I don't have the attention span to do it all at once, but if I put the laundry away and I am at a non-multiple of ten, my ocd motivates me to grab a few little items and round it up. Eventually the dresser will be clean.

I am having a slow and lazy morning and then I will hit the evaluations. I slept really long last night.

It is very cold, and very sunny here, and the wind is blowing snow off the roofs and trees and it sparkles like diamonds!

Actually, Tatoulia, I experienced a comfort in the year my mom died having it be close to my dad's date, because from then on, February became the combined memorial month for both of them. And during and after her funeral I brought in the theme of Valentine's Day, to mark their reunion in Heaven. 💞 I'm glad I got out to do the flowers on Friday. It snowed here today; originally not forecasted for our area but we got some. I also have St. Patrick's green flowers for next month; it was my dad's birthday.☘

SubC, yes, I have definitely known about the hazmat place for some years now. My dad's illness was set off by weed killer chemicals. Plus the threat to nature. I don't mess around with noxious stuff.

I may try your 100 items thing just for fun. 😀 See how long it takes to get a hundred, anyway. Little motivators are especially good right now when we're more limited by the weather (at least for wimps like me, LOL).

Hi CM!

Sorry you are under a shadow, but very happy to see you! Good job emptying the van! And thank you for taking the paint to hazardous waste. Too many people dispose of that improperly.

We are going to have horrible weather here next week too.

I did better today. I picked up hay and shavings from the feed store, washed my pajamas and masks, put away 60 items, and wrote 22 evaluations! 22 was my stretch goal. My base goal for tomorrow is 12.

How sad to have the anniversaries of the loss of your parents so close together, CM. February is my father's birthday. He's been gone for so long. But I'm grateful he missed out on some of the terrible things in the world.

I'm sorry there's terrible house stufff, CM. I am so sorry. That must be so stressful. Sending you strength and support.

SubC! You are doing remarkably well. You have so many stressors on you. I showered twice today if you can believe it. I donated platelets so I showered before and I always shower and wash my clothes as soon as I get home. I know I say this every time but my goodness donating platelets is a miserable process.

So I'm doing laundry now.

Hi,

I have been reading your posts and was going to chime in regarding Candlemas! 😁 I had hoped to get some candles and go to Mass and have them blessed on the 2nd but the schedule for the day got complicated. The term cross quarter I only stumbled upon last year and that led me to reading about the associated Catholic holydays. Some of these traditions are being revived which I find cool.

In other news... There are still some big things weighing on me, and on my roommate as the homeowner. Again, I'm not ready to share; perhaps someday if/when they're resolved. But earlier this week I did visit my storage unit again, to fetch a few items, and though I didn't do much decluttering I looked around and assessed and made plans.

Yesterday I took a batch of paint and chemicals to the hazmat place, and a bunch of donations to the thrift shop. This makes room in the van again so when the weather ever gets nice I can do more. It's supposed to be awful next week though. 😰

I also went to the cemetery to put Valentine's flowers on my parents' grave. Mom's anniversary of her passing is today and Dad's the 19th. Yesterday was the warmest day so I figured I'd better get it done.

I am just. So. Tired.

And I have to do my evaluations.

It took me 8 weeks to reach this point with virtual school in the spring I guess it's good that I made it through the semester this time.

But I just don't have any reserves. Last night, Dh asked me to do something (very easy but time consuming), and I cried. He didn't even want me to do it right then, he wanted me to agree to do it on Monday. But right now, I can't predict if I'll be capable of showering on Monday.

Okay this week flew by!

Bf and I went for a walk tonight. I'm suffering with mild panicking. When I'm outside I start to panic. It's the mask. My dormant claustrophobia has kicked in.

I'm showered and ready for bed. Donating platelets tmr. Goodnight, friends.

SubC thank you for the lovely explanation. Very spiritual and sweet. Many thanks.

I got the garbage out!

Ok back to work.