YEA!!!! TIGGER!!!!!

(((((HUGS)))))

Tigger's heart is strong and his organs are fine. Dr thinks he's still enjoying life.

Meanwhile I'm so frazzled that I can't stop crying. I'm trying to walk the mall but I'm crying too much. I'm extremely sad and frazzled. Stuff I should be proud about is just causing me pain and sadness. Thank you all for being here for me.

Cleaners came too late/I had to go to tigger's dr appt and so they dropped off my food and said they'd see me Wednesday. I thought that was really nice.

Omygoshomygoshomygosh!

Crosspost!

Tillie, that us WONDERFUL!

Tatoulia, I hope the cleaners came and made you feel calm and cozy. I am worrying about you a little bit. I hope your bf is taking good care of you for us.

CM, did you take your vitamin?

Tillie, that is a lot of stuff.

This morning i disbudded (horns) the last pair of baby goats. I also trimmed some trees up higher to walk under, took the compost out, burned the burn box, and carried a box of things that have turned up in my basement out to my studio. - At one point I bought some cool little copper punches, and then I "cleaned up" the bag into the basement (probably to clear the table for dinner) forgot about them and never unpacked them!

Some of the other things in that bag went straight to the donate box. (I'm not counting any more).

I spent three hours struggling with an unfinished project I found that seemed like a great idea at the time, and then stuck the project and all its associated stuff in the donate box too.

(Wish that was contagious and I could infect Steven for you)

And I made dinner.

He actually listened to me!!!!!!!!!!

He returned home with a new in the box weed eater bought at a regular store!!!!!!!!

He is assembling it now.

It is more powerful and more versatile than that old piece of broken crap.

Cost $100.00.

Now lets see if I can get him to use it everywhere it's desperately needed.

??????????????????????????????????????????????????

Little after 2pm here.

I just had a bit of lunch.

Have filled half the back seat & floor of the car with donations.
Looking for more to add to my
"Going Out Of Business" sale.
I will no longer cook or bake like I used to when there were people here to share the food with.

I kept 4 square Tupperware containers of various sizes and 4 round containers of various size.
Viciously pruned down my cooking & baking utensils.
Found some clothes in good condition, acceptable style & color but "I'm just not into them".

He has gone shopping to purchase things to use to try to fix that old ancient broken weed eater.
Financially it is not logical to dump more money into it.
Also, he has no expertise in fixing anything mechanical.
And he does not have the patience to even try properly.

Hi Tatoulia
Hope you get your wish for lots of calming evening walks.
(((hug)))

Very frazzled. Am walking but not my nighttime soothing walks. Hopefully tonight. Cleaners'may be coming today.

Need to soothe my frazzled soul.

Good Morning Everyone

Hi CriticalMass
Wonderful that you visited the art museum exhibit!
Wishing you even more exciting experiences this Summer.

Hi Subclinical
Good luck getting the barn all set up for the baby sitter.
So very sorry Dh doesn't understand that you can't do it all at once.
That this takes time and you have been doing an absolutely amazing job with what you've done there.
Going from 5 boxes down to 2 is fantastic progress in the right direction.
Well over 100 items out this month was so wonderful to hear.
We "see" you (((HUG)))

Hi Tatoulia (((hug)))

Yesterday morning I got 2 loads of laundry done and sharpened the knives.
Then was feeling sickly, laid down and took a nap.
Felt crummy the rest of the evening.

Steven got out one of his several old used broken weed eaters and spent a few minutes swearing violently at it as he tried fixing it.
Gave up and retired back into the hoarded squalorous stinking garage.

If he had invested in one new weed eater instead of buying old used broken ones he would have spent less money overall.
He said he asked his "friend" to help but the "friend" declined.

Good Morning!

CM, that is great about your food.

I am feeling a little bit better this morning.

I am reminding myself that this is a marathon, not a sprint. My goals for June were my closet - did that, and 50 things - blew that away!

My basement is a summer goal. And I have two more months in summer.

I am going to visit my mom the first week of July. So, my goals for this week are to get the barn in good shape for the farm sitter, and to think of areas/items I might want to offer my mom and sort those out. These may very well not be in the basement.

It is not supposed to rain until 10:00 today, so I will do some work outside this morning.

Hi SubC - you're blessed to have an accountability partner! And like you, I still tend to push back at the accountability.

Food is getting easier to handle again - getting back into the groove I was in when I had my big weight loss. Was in the grocery store pushing my cart by the Hostess and Little Debbie - I haven't bought those for a long time anyway (though I've bought the occasional bakery cake on markdown). But I felt the chill feeling, like "I could buy those if I wanted but I don't want to." Neutral. Not judging them wonderful or terrible, just not particularly interesting. And on by to what I did come to get.

Tillie, we cross posted because my Russian novel took so long to write!

Going to get my vitamins to take with supper.

Also, Tillie, I just realized that I thought at you but didn't post thank you for sharing that memory.

That is the kind of future thing I am thinking about when I save stuff, but then I save too much stuff and it is overwhelming and there is not enough space for the good things to happen.

CM, I like your Russian novels! But I would still like to have you come by more often.

I hate to say this, but I have a studio - I cluttered it.

I am also a huge fan of Georgia O'Keefe. And Beatrice Wood. And Tasha Tudor. I like independent, artsy old women!

I am glad you have started on your goals! Hopefully the drive will feel good.

Tillie, thank you for the kind words.

Dh has been trying very hard to help, but sometimes he doesn't know what to do with me. And he does man stuff. Today I started telling him about finding two more frames when I was cleaning up, and I was all ready to tell him I had gone from five boxes and some loose frames to two boxes, when he interrupted and said I should keep maybe two frames.

I told him that was unrealistic. He should imagine that I was trying to do 50 push-ups. You don't tell me to start with 40! I can't do one push up, so if I tell you I did five STAIR pushups, you say that is a good start and try to help me to six! If I get to ten, maybe I drop down a step...

I cry a lot. This afternoon he sat in the new room so that he could ask me if I was really hungry when I headed for the food. It made me grumpy, but it was helpful. I told him "I want to eat because it makes me feel better!" And he said "go outside and do something. So I partly weeded the front flower bed.

I think I am going to get him to help me make a plan for tomorrow.

Hi

Keeping in touch again, hope you are all having a good Sunday.

Yesterday roommate and I went to Georgia O'Keeffe exhibit at art museum. I want to check out a bio of her and a coffee table book of her art from the library. Anytime I have a chance to look at someone who had a true vocation, career, calling, I am in amazement. I sure had thought at one time I would.

She was so independent, moving out to the desert. I can relate to the wanting to find a special place, although she could apparently handle her independence WAY better than I am able to. If I go too far away from my home or am too isolated, here comes the anxiety. Then too, by the time she was well known she had the money to affect her situation in ways I don't.

And she was focused and disciplined - she had things, but wasn't a hoarder. She had many ideas - and was able to finish things, something I struggle with. Sigh. But it was still nice to see the exhibit, to reconnect with my fine art side. It's been such a long while since I even went out to something like an art exhibit. Felt kind of strange even. Must do so more often so it doesn't feel so strange.

As for my goals I laid out in my post the other day:
* I've started taking the vitamin supplements. No huge change yet - I feel kind of stirred up, whether that's change starting to happen or just how I'm feeling, I couldn't say. I had a bit of a cry last night, which probably let off some steam. Felt kind of blah this morning; going to Mass lifted me up a bit.
* I've gone on social media less, and when I do limited my Barbie group time.

So that's a start.

Sometimes I still can't help wondering about whether I'm on the autism spectrum. I don't need any more labels, the Lord knows, and I've had so much therapy in the past I got very burnt out on it - but since autism is in my maternal line cousins, the wondering is there. I guess if I concluded I have the condition, I could talk to some other people with it. I end up doing that sometimes anyway, since the things I know I have overlap with it.

Oh well. I guess if I need to know, I'll know.

In the meantime, and on a more mundane level, I need to go out here in a bit, and get a few essential groceries. I had wanted to go out driving last night when my emotions were messy but it was kind of late. So a little trip hopefully will be fun, provided people aren't annoying on the road or in the store!

Tillie - I'm sorry Steven is such a mess, and I wish there was a way to extricate you from the situation and not lose pension or whatever it was that you have put up with him for. I'm glad you do have Nate & Mrs. Nate as fallback, but I want you to be safe if a fire started. I suppose water is at a premium so it's probably impractical to suggest spraying some on the bushes.

Just be safe...

SubC, glad your dad did well with the heart procedure. And I sure feel your daughter's pain with the anxiety, especially work-related type.

Homemade ice cream - yum, nothing like it in the world.

WTG on 98 things and counting!

Blocks and dolls are nice keepers, in reasonable numbers. I'm debating how to deal with my Barbies. There is a rollie cart at the storage unit for them, but I've been liking having quite a few of them with me at the house here. At least till I can sew a few outfits and do more photography, and make a list of which ones I have. So for the ones here, I think I may go up from shoebox to sweater box size (but fewer of the latter). It won't take up any more space if I turn the sweater boxes long side forward.

Could also relate to you and hubby and the general space situation. I've kind of encroached on my roommate's spaces with my clutter, though I've been aware and working to reverse that. Especially the sewing area I mentioned earlier. And I LIKE space - I WANT it - and I am savoring it when I go other places, trying to imprint on my brain how good it feels.

I'm such a nester. Where I sit on the sofa is like a nest with drink, computer, current projects nearby. Would like to change that, to the working style of bringing out one project to a proper work space, working on it, being able to put it away... I know this is going to sound like First World Problems, but I really need a studio.

Tatoulia, wise decision to rest when your body asks for it. Hope the kitty will be wanting to curl up with you.

Best wishes again for boyfriend's kitty. I can relate to hoping many years ago I wouldn't ever have to decide to have a bunny put down, but my poor Annie in '02 had end stage kidney disease and was deteriorating. It was gut wrenching. If an animal lives a long life I can handle their passing, and would probably be able to handle having them PTS. It's the young ones with mysterious illness, and the ones that were fine but got into contraband that I didn't realize and nothing could be done - those senseless early demises broke me into pieces.

We had a big rainstorm in the evening last night and another round woke me about 5:00 a.m. with lots of thunder and lightning. The air from the cold front felt nice last night but overall we've had so much rain the past 2-3 months that with it heating up now, we're going to be in for some pretty miserable humidity I fear.

Sorry I keep writing Russian novels - I'll try to check in often enough that my posts can be shorter again!

Subclinical
You really have turned the corner.
You are taking control and no longer allowing the clutter to be in control.

"I want my life to be easier now."

I promise you it will be easier once the backlog is cleared, sorted, organized and purged.
(((HUG)))

WAY TO GO!!! for 121 items!

Use the anger but do not direct it to yourself.
Direct it to fixing the problem.

YEA! for your stubbornness superpower!!!

My Granma had some of those blocks in the bottom drawer of the buffet in the diningroom for me to play with.
She also had some old wooden clothes pins painted up to look like people in there.

Just one of my first memories. 🙂

Some colored blocks, some alphabet blocks, and some shaped blocks that make a castle. Also wooden castle people.

I packed up the picture frames and found two more to donate - so 100!

I got out the big bin of doll clothes, accessories, and dishes and sifted through it. I put the dishes in two little drawers, the clothes in a small bin, and am going to put the accessories and blankets in another small bin. I put 21 items in a gallon ziploc bag to donate, plus I have two doll blankets to donate that wouldn't fit in the bag.

I want my life to be easier now.

I am going to get this basement sorted out.
I am going to get all the inappropriate stuff off the floors in my house.
I am going to have space to do the things I want to do
And when I want something, I am going to be able to find it.

I am tired
I am frustrated
I am getting fat
I am letting a lot of other stuff slide
I am angry that I did this to myself.

But stubbornness is my superpower.

Good Morning Everybody

Hi Subclinical
Makes me happy you have tape on you. 🙂

Sounds like a very pleasant evening you had.

WAY TO GO! dropping off those 4 bags of recycle!
That makes a huge difference when obvious recycle, compost and trash go away.

Are those brightly painted wooden children's type blocks?
Wonderful that you won't be buying any more bins.
Good luck finding a solution that feels easy.

Someday when your kids are older and more settled in their own homes and lives your life will be easier.
Things you keep for them, they will then keep.
Things you have but no longer need can go to them to use and enjoy.

Scooter was paying attention, he is scouting out an escape route.

My first cat dropped dead suddenly in the driveway one August afternoon - we assume it was a heart attack as she was extremely fat.

The cat before mr. kitty went blind, got very thin, and smelled bad but enjoyed food and sleeping. The last four days of his life, he wandered in circles, but still purred when you pet him. My family wanted him put down. He stopped eating the last two days and they wanted him put down. He was still purring in my lap, which is what he did pretty much all day the last day when he was refusing water, and he was still purring at 1 a.m. when I tucked him into a cardboard box full of soft towels and went to bed. He was already cold in the morning.

Other cats have just asked to be let outside and never returned. Only one had to be put down. She had end stage liver disease and was in pain.

My girls put a piece of tape on me and wrote their brother's name on it. They told his girlfriend that if she married him, she would have to take care of me when I am old. She said she was cool with that. She is now his wife and still on my tape.

We went to the mall to get dh pants but didn't shop for me. Instead we called our kids who live near the mall and took them out fir dinner. Then we went back to their place to admire the screened porch Dd created out of their covered patio and to cook s'mores in their back yard.

We also dropped off the recycling at the municipal drop. Dh and I created four paper grocery bags of recycling this month. Although that included water bottles from the food bank and that bag of cardboard tubes I found - which squashed down.

I need another large bin for blocks.
All my large bins are full.
I am not buying more bins.

So, my choices are:
Leave the blocks on the basement floor
Get rid of the blocks
Empty a large bin by removing the stuff in it.

I do have a small bin, so if I can rehome/discard part of the stuff in a large bin, I can put the rest in a small bin.

I don't know if I can face any of them right now though. I need to come up with a category that feels easy. Or find a way to make a category feel easy - the way seeing all the beautiful inexpensive frames at the thrift store made it easy to purge frames.

Steven got up about 3pm and was headed out to the garage.
I went out on the back porch where he was and brought up the subject of all the weeds and fire danger.
Pointed out the side yard and the back yard and the front yard out where he has those derelict vehicles and all the tall weeds growing.

He said "umhum"
Then he said "finally was able to get some sleep".
And he walked into the garage and has remained in there.

I went out this evening and watered the garden & grass.
Scooter & Twinkles came out with me.
Scooter jumped the fence again and didn't come when I called.
Finally he came back, walked right up to me looking guilty but happy to be home.

Hi Tatoulia

I've had a lot of pets in my life and no matter how hard I wish it they never peacefully pass on their own in their sleep.
But I was always there to hold them.

Old cats get scrawny, don't eat much, feel chilly and want warm laps and sleep a LOT.
If they are showing no signs of stress they are alright.
They really enjoy those naps and naps make them happy.

Good luck recliner shopping.
Maybe it won't be too hard to find what you need, good price and delivery included.

Hope you can get in your meditative walk tomorrow so you can work out the frazzles. (((HUG)))

Nate put tape on me back when he was still a little kid. ;D

Great job SubC!!! I am so proud of you!!! Wow!!! I hope it's contagious because I haven't done a thing for my house all day. I did two loads of delicates (yes I split things up laundry wise. I am who I am). I need to get motivated! Actually I am motivated but I'm using it all toward my physical health/food/walking.

I did not get enough walking in today. Things kept getting in my way, which that it is 10 PM and I'm with the cats.

I rested for a bit then BF called and we tried a new restaurant. Delicious, expensive, won't be a go-to place for us. But beautiful. We were hoping to find a replacement for a place that we used to enjoy four times a week. That's okay. We probably shouldn't eat out that much.

We were going to go for a nice long walk, but first I needed to drop off the butter and margarine and cat food I'd picked up for mom. Earlier in the day I'd dropped off some bread and her sunglasses. (I took her Christian Dior glasses from the 80s and had plain dark lenses put in). Anyway, I left there and was headed home when I stopped at Lobstah on a Roll to sit outside and hunt for my keys. When I mentioned I must've left them at mom's, the restaurant owner gave me a chowder to take to mom's. I thought that was really nice. He sees me all the time going from my apt to mom's. So that was nice. I did find my keys. At mom's. Meanwhile mom had broken her recliner so my BF came over to fix it. Well it has more problems than we can solve so now I have to get her a new one. I'm pretty frazzled here. Very frazzled.

So I have a kitty on my lap and another one who's playing with a paper straw.

BF is backing off putting Tigger to sleep and I'm supporting him, for now. He wants to consult with the dr. His employee also says that the cat is fine. So we shall see what Monday brings. But we are getting to the end and I need BF to find peace with it. I know it would be easier for BF if the cat to just pass on without assistance.

I'm frazzled. And I didn't get a long walk in. I did about five miles with errands and running between mom's and my house but not the soothing walking where I just cruise the mall and sort out my brain. It's well after 10.

Tillie I'm glad that Nate and Mrs Nate have already put the piece of masking tape on you. (That's what we used to do, put masking tape then write our names).

Im just too frazzled today. And tomorrow now has to include buying a recliner. BF is giving me his credit card so I don't have to use mine.

Hi Subclinical

WOW! just WOW!!!!!!!
You found so many things to release!
FANTASTIC!

Hope you find a magical pair of black dress pants that look and feel perfectly.

YEA! for making a space for Dh's workout bag so it is put away and not looking like clutter in a corner.

You have done so much more this month than the challenge you set for yourself.
When we work at making all those hard keep/toss/donate/recycle decisions it's like exercising our muscles.
The more we work at it the stronger our decision making muscles get.

Steven would encroach on my empty spaces if I didn't fiercely defend them at all times.
He also wants to keep almost all my cast-offs, even gets things out of the trash.
If he dies before me then I will have to re-declutter things I decluttered ages ago.

I'll take a tub of our vanilla ice cream
then top it with peaches. ;D

Good Afternoon Everyone

Hi Tatoulia
Thank You (((HUG)))
But Nate and then Mrs. Nate too put "dibs" on me years ago that they would come get me and I would live with them and they would see I have whatever I need.
Nate would like to have a commune of the three of us, grow veggies, have hens and I would make rag rugs & beeswax candles to sell.
Nate has been doing blacksmithing and starting up an engine repair business.

I'm happy that you have no scheduled appointments and can lay down and rest.

Of course you are down in the dumps.
These days before we have to say goodbye to a loved one are always very hard.
Please be extra kind to yourself, my thoughts are with you.

Quarter to two pm and he's still in bed...

Tatoulia, never apologize for feeling down. We want to be here for you when you are tired or sad too, not just to celebrate!

Tillie, I wish I could give you ice cream!

I'm sorry about Steven and the prozac. Guess it didn't matter to him that it was going something for other people...

Last Christmas, my kids were telling stories and we were all laughing and one said "I swear, next year everyone is getting therapy for Christmas." I said "I don't want therapy." And she said "you getting therapy is going to be everyone else's present!" Then another kid yelled "too late!" But we were all laughing, so they only mean it little bit.

Dh used to do that getting rid of his stuff to have space, and then I would encroach on the space. Also, I would save his stuff, because I was sure he was going to be sorry he got rid of it. And I felt bad that he was getting rid of good stuff when I was saving less good stuff. But I didn't stop...

It really took me a long time to understand that empty space is important "stuff" to him. So when I filled up his space, I was basically taking his stuff.

This morning he helped me hang pictures in the guest room. In the process of hanging pictures, I found 18 more frames (some with "store" art in them) that can go.

Also, I finished my closet. I found an eye mask, a glasses case, a hair band, a scarf, 7 more sweaters, a skirt, two blouses, and a storage basket that can go.

I am freezing ice cream, and I found two replacement paddles that do not fit my ice cream maker, so they can go too!

That is 35 things! I am up to 98! I am totally going to find at least two more things in the next week, so I will double my goal!

I am very happy with my guest room.

And my closet looks so nice. I even moved my mending basket out of the bedroom onto a closet shelf and made enough space under the bottom shelf so that dh can put his workout bag there instead of in the corner of the bedroom where it looks messy.

Dh asked me "so, do I need to take you shopping?" And I told him "no, because I still have too many clothes. But if you wanted to buy me a pair of black dress pants that looked really good on me, that would be ok." I kept my black dress pants, but they are the only thing that probably still won't fit if I lose ten pounds.

He says maybe we will go to the mall this weekend because he needs to pick up the pants he had altered, and if we do, we can look.

I know you don't need a safety net, Tillie, and I know that you are resourceful, but if you ever take the cats and run, I'll send you some pocket money through Corey.

I have done only modest walking today. I went to visit BF then I stopped to see mom. I also went to Whole Foods to buy yogurt and granola, and I just had some as a snack.

Today was the day I was supposed to take that girl from the troubled family to the museum. I assume her father said no and I didn't follow up. If she reaches out, we can always reschedule. But I know when I brought it up to the dad he wasn't enthusiastic. He said, oh she loves art and left it at that. I'm not getting in the way.

I'm laying down for a minute on my bed. I'm overheated for no reason.

I'm so sorry about your daughter's anxiety attack, SubC. You handled it so beautifully.

I'm sorry. I'm tired and a bit down in the dumps. I'm going to lay on my bed for a while.

Good Morning Everyone

Hi Subclinical
That was good advice you gave your DD
to be the adult in the situation.

I could really use some of your ice cream.

So glad your Father came through that procedure and is doing alright!
That is a scary one for sure. (((HUG)))

WAY TO GO!!!
All the way up to 63 now!

Hope there is more sunshine in the near future for you, sunshine always helps with everything.

Got down in the high 40s over night, 62 degrees now.
Tempted to get out a space heater but refusing to because it's SUMMER.

Steven has alienated so many people due to his nasty negative mean personality.
There is one man that I guess you could say is his friend but he never comes over to the house.
The other year he was prescribed Prozac and started taking it. There was a very nice positive difference in his outlook but he quit taking it saying it did nothing for him.

The more he hoards & squalors and neglects the place the more I do to minimalize my possessions, clean and maintain my "No Clutter Zones".
I am running out of things to purge.
If he would start decluttering and cleaning up I know I would be able to stop getting rid of my things.
It's like a perverted form of anorexia to always be going through my items and getting rid of them.
Nothing has any meaning or value or use to me any more.

The tall weeds are posing a GREAT fire danger.

Today I want to have a conversation with him about the state of the property, the roof repair and the finances.
Not about the hoard/hoarding.
He will just sit there and stare at me, no responses to anything I say.
It is all so frustrating.

I will get the two cats out and let it burn...

Hi everybody!

Tillie, I wanted to wish you a happy solstice, but I was putting it off to report and then my day just fell apart.

We did have a break in the rain and the sun was out almost all day as our celebration.

Steven's life sounds dreadful. Does he have any friends?

My dad had his heart medically stopped and restarted yesterday to fix his heartbeat. It worked. He is ok.

I worked in my closet and I have a pile but I will list that later. I also got rid of a container and a book - 63.

And one of my children, who has an anxiety disorder, burst through my front door crying and gasping and announced "I can't breathe!" Followed by "i'm Okay" when I shot to my feet like a startled turkey. Then she collapsed into incoherent sobbing and gasping. She is ok. It is work related. Her boss is not a grown up.

She called me later and told me she was starting to get all stressed out again thinking about Monday. I said "on Monday, you are going to go in and act like it never happened. There is nothing you can do about it right now, so you are going to be an adult and do your boss the favor of pretending that he didn't embarrass himself."

Also, I told her to start looking for a new job, but that is complicated because she may want to move to a new state in a year.

So, yeah.

Also I made cheese and I have ice cream mix ready for the ice cream maker today. It's going to rain all day again, so dh said he would help me hang a couple of pictures.

CM, how are you doing?

Tatoulia, pet the kitties for me too.

Good Evening Everybody

Hi Tatoulia
Very happy you are spending quality time with Kitty.
You have your priorities straight.

Still doing that "Gentle Art Of Swedish Cleaning".
Today I sold off all my old nickels and wheat back pennies.

Got rid of assorted small miscellaneous.

Have a pile of things in the car to donate next time I venture into town.

Played with my doll house a little today.

First day of Summer here started off chilly. Got down in the 50s over night.
Had to fetch my extra blanket from it's shelf.
Never got higher than the low 70s today.
Beautiful! ;D

Had an Oriole visiting.
He wanted apricots but when he saw they are not ripe enough yet he went to the mulberry tree and ate berries.

Tillie that's so awful. Just awful. I'm speechless.

I'm home, at my house with my kitty. Between walking all the time and taking care of the cats, I don't have a lot of time. So my little buddy and I are cuddling.

I'll write more tmr. I need to just spend some time with my baby cat.

WELCOME SUMMER

Hi Tatoulia
Sounds like you enjoyed a lovely evening. 🙂
The baby sat kitties appreciate you. (((hug)))

Hi Subclinical
My menu plan was just so that you would eat proper nutritious food and not hate yourself for eating only crap all day.
All I ate for weeks after having to put my kitty down was just crap and I am paying for that dearly now.

Everything here has gotten greatly worse since Steven quit work.
The property is completely overgrown with tall weeds now from all the rain we got.
His hoard is now occupying half the driveway and he just keeps adding to it.
His bedroom is disgusting.
He has been sleeping on a bare mattress covering himself with a bathrobe at night.
Dirty clothes heaped high everywhere.
Old dried up cat vomit piles everywhere cause he never cleans it up.
He spends all his time in the garage hoard drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes saying he is cleaning and organizing the hoard out there.
I peeked in and it's still a hoarded squalorous stinky filthy mess.
He stays out there until about 3:00am and then comes in and sleeps in his nasty room until late afternoon.
Then gets up, does not shower but once or twice a week, goes "shopping" returns home and goes into the garage.
He looks horrid, smells horrid and talking to him about anything is simply horrid.

I have been watching the hundreds of apricots on my tree slowly start to change color from green to apricot.