| Tillie | Posted: 27 January 2019 - 09:48 AM |
Due to Godzilla Badger attack... LOL 😀 | |
Replies (1770)
| Tillie | Posted: 27 June 2019 - 06:45 PM |
A nice dress that would/will come in handy at a time when you would have to go out and try & find a proper dress for the occasion is not clutter. Too bad the new red Mary Janes aren't perfect to wear with that dress. Good luck channeling your stubbornness super powers! Is there a quilting guild there that makes lap quilts for elderly folk? | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 27 June 2019 - 05:33 PM |
So sorry Tillie, they are eu 40, too big for you, just right for me. I was sad when I went to put them away, because I had just the right number of shoes for my shelf. I realized one pair only matched the dress I am not sure about, so I put the dress on. I forgot that it has hidden pockets. I love pockets. It is a very fancy dress and it is possible that dh could take me to a work thing where I would need such a fancy dress, and then I would have to buy one - probably with no pockets. So I hung the dress back in my closet and this story has a sad ending. But I will keep an eye out for a pair of shoes to let go. And dh plans to retire in six years. By which time i'm Sure the dress and shoes will be the last unnecessary things in my house.🤣 The dishes are stacked with the plaster molds in my studio. I am totally amped up to go out and use them tomorrow, but I am going to channel my stubbornness super power and sort fabric instead. My children had a video game when they were kids where you built things using Tonka trucks. If you started the skyscraper and then tried to drive the excavator away to work on the sports center, the foreman said "finish one job before you start another." It was early generation electronics, so it had a funny cadence. To this day, my kids still mimic it to each other when they think someone is getting ahead of themselves. Not doing that is part of how I got into this mess. So I am listening to the little tonka foreman in my head. No casting plaster until I finish the basement. And clean out more studio space to work.... CM, I think curating your collection is a great idea if you are ready. Especially if you can pass the ones that are more play worthy than display worthy on to some children. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 27 June 2019 - 04:35 PM |
Good Afternoon Everyone Hi Subclinical Meantime try to use or wear or display the item to see how we truly feel about it. I want those shoes! Thrift shops around these parts would accept a wheelbarrow wheel. OK, so the dishes are for your arts & crafts and a future teaching aid. Hi CriticalMass Just made & ate a grilled cheese sandwich. | |
| CriticalMass | Posted: 27 June 2019 - 04:25 PM |
Moving slower today than I expected and not real sure why. Perhaps yesterday was too exciting. Woke up just not organized, and with the remnants of kooky dreams not cleared from my head. Worked some though with the Barbies in my room, trying the plastic sweater box instead of shoebox sized boxes. I think probably it will be more efficient, streamlined in appearance and less precariously stacked. It's an interim solution most likely. Feeling myself easing more into the idea that my doll collecting needs to cap soon, and I may even be willing to let go of a few, such as near duplicates, to a worthwhile charity. Maybe to one of the groups that gives them to poor children. I saw one in which the ladies make a few outfits to go with a doll. Kind of up my alley. Will ponder that. I will need a couple more sweater boxes, but the shoeboxes will be going to storage. I can put loose items in them over there. Smaller boxes are good for dealing with as I get older and if (God willing) I ever get my own place, they'll be easier to move. If someday I'm even more streamlined in general, well, I can give the boxes themselves away. Weelll... it's almost 4:30. How to best use this fragment of an afternoon... | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 27 June 2019 - 03:15 PM |
Ok, that went somewhat badly. When I was packing things up, I rescued a dress from the donate box (actually, I left it in the donate box - which lives in my basement, but I need to think about it some more.) I went in to the thrift store to look at/for white belts, black dress pants, and immersible blenders. I bought a pair of red leather Mary Janes and two glass covered casserole dishes that I think will be excellent for making plaster slump pottery molds. My rationale being: I really like the shoes. They are in near mint condition. The thrift shop would not accept the wheelbarrow wheel. So I stopped at the farmer's market and gave it away. Then I bought myself a decadent chocolate brownie from the dessert lady. Which I already ate. Dh gets a blueberry scone. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 27 June 2019 - 11:23 AM |
Good Morning Everyone Hi Subclinical Enjoy being outside today cleaning stalls and running errands. You are so much better at making good keep/toss/donate decisions now. Let getting a new & improved sewing machine all set up be your inspiration. ;D I used to sew all the time. It would be nice if I would step into the present time and get a phone/camera and learn how to take photos and how to post things on the internet. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 27 June 2019 - 09:39 AM |
Also, can I just say how much I appreciate having a place where I can SAY that I have 14 bins and two boxes of sewing related stuff without feeling like I am going to face the following: So, you must sew a lot. I made dresses and vests and pants and costumes and curtains and quilts, and toys... And now I just use my sewing machine to mend stuff. When I even bother to do that. A bag of fabric at st. Vincent's is $5. Two bags would be too much for a bin. I need to write that on a sign I can see while I sort. Unless the fabric is sentimental (I have a piece left over from making my wedding dress that dd2 might want for a ring pillow or something for her wedding) or hard to replace (I have a box of antique feedbacks intended for fixing up my great grandmother's quilts) I should donate it and know I can get just as good back later. Heck, dh would buy me a better sewing machine if I cleaned out space to keep it set up all the time and cleared out an entire rack of bins. Ok, water break over. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 27 June 2019 - 07:18 AM |
Good morning! Tatoulia, all that walking is terrific! And time spent grooming tigger a very important. Tillie, I am dollhousing by proxy. Someday... I wish we could see pictures. It was very strange and a little disorienting to walk past the scullery this morning and see the big counter empty. The next area I need to tackle is my fabric/sewing stash. Now that I know where everything is, I have 14 bins plus two big boxes, not counting specific projects that are sorted into another area called "unfinished projects". I know that that is ridiculous, and I have a very conservative goal to get down to 12 bins on the first sort out. The 14 bins are racked, but the big boxes are not, so if I got down to 12 bins, I would have two empty bins available on the rack and two fewer boxes in the "what am I going to do with this?" pile. But then I think, getting down to 12 bins means getting rid of 1/4 of the stuff, and I may not be able to do that when I open the bins and look at the stuff. I kind of want to get started, but today must be stalls and packing up donations, and thrift store and ticket. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 27 June 2019 - 01:31 AM |
Hello all you chatty Cathys Hi CriticalMass Hi Subclinical WAY TO GO! making paper progress and dinner and a better scullery too! Hi Tatoulia That's so sweet of you and BF to work together to groom and comfort Tigger. (((HUG))) Keep up the work you are doing straightening out and easing your mind, Spirit and body. I think Steven is trying to hoard by proxy by wanting me to get that other box. Red Flag warning, 1st one this fire season. Steven worked a few minutes with the weed eater after I came home from the store. Tomorrow I will make potato salad then clean the kitchen. 🙂 | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 26 June 2019 - 10:00 PM |
I am so happy to read all of your posts. Everyone is doing so well and so much! I have not done a thing. But I'm sorting through my brain and taking care of my body. I walked and walked and walked tonight. I also combed Tigger while BF held him. We are working on his matted fur. Some of it was shaved by the vet. I sang to him while I did it even though he's deaf now. Piano Man by Billy Joel. I'm stopped at the grocery store and bought mom a few things and took them to her. It was nearly 10. I never even felt the time pass as I walked. I will sort through everything. Cleaners did a great job and I have clean sheets. Going to bed now. Keep up the good work! | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 26 June 2019 - 07:41 PM |
Tillie, your little box sounds lovely! I wish I could come see it all set up. And I am glad you did get a cake after all. 😉 I'm also glad Steven is trying to be nice to you. I know you can't count on it, but I am happy when it happens. Like when you get rain. (Preferably instead of me) CM, you sound better! It's nice that you got to quilting. I hate that feeling when you are talking and you suddenly realize you are well out of the group's comfort zone. If it is a purely social situation, I usually double down. As well be hanged for a sheep as lamb.... Make your appointments! I made progress on my papers. I also sorted out the box with the moth damaged things and then burned the box along with a few of the things in it that I didn't think I could clean/repair. It was hard and I was sad, but now it is done. I like that about fire - it is very clean and final and releases the components back to the world. I made dinner and the scullery is better too. | |
| CriticalMass | Posted: 26 June 2019 - 06:32 PM |
Ah yes, the triglycerides - had a friend who cut out sugar for that reason so definitely makes a lot of sense. She took niacin supplements and gave me some to try. Slo-Niacin. I take them at night (when I remember) and even though they say no flush, once I did get a bit of a flush, so I now just take a half of one when I do. My levels are just at the borderline, but I'm one of those people who are like "But... but... when I was younger I had really GOOD lab readings!" and I want to think I have a young body for my chronological age. Hee hee. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 26 June 2019 - 06:13 PM |
CriticalMass Lets make a deal... Between the two of us we have all the bases covered. ;D | |
| Tillie | Posted: 26 June 2019 - 06:09 PM |
Hi CriticalMass Glad you went quilting. Nice that you went for a visit with that lady. Hope you get the plants potted soon. Sounds like you are doing much better, less scattered and torn emotionally. Sugar... Forgot to mention...
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| CriticalMass | Posted: 26 June 2019 - 05:57 PM |
Tillie, We keep cross posting because you possess the ability to be more concise, LOL! And I take forever and words words words. The doll house miniatures sound fun. I'm afraid to do much in terms of that for my Barbies because "real estate" is at a premium just for the dolls themselves! Have fun! | |
| CriticalMass | Posted: 26 June 2019 - 05:44 PM |
Hi everyone, I think my vitamins are working! My mind is clearer, my worrying less. When it is bad, I can worry about every tiny thing that aggravates me personally, to whether the world is going to Hell in a handbasket and how long it will be till we get there. (This is something my faith tells me I should have more hope about - that God will sort it out - but when I'm depressed, it gets difficult to just let go, even when I am well aware it's above my pay grade.) But I'm better. That's what matters. So I plan to keep taking those vitamins. Today I went to quilting. I'd skipped for mental health reasons both days last week and yesterday. Not that quilting is stressful - I do have to be careful not to let my quirkiness show too much around the more conventional ladies or things can get awkward. I love them dearly, but they don't have a clue what it's like to live inside my skull, and I forget that to my peril. It went very well. Afterward, I went and visited my elderly lady whom I sit with. She has had new hired caregivers so I haven't been filling in. This was just a social friendly visit. She was quite happy to see me. Her son was with her but he works graveyard shift and was sleeping. I helped her sweep her back deck and then we watched some EWTN (Catholic TV). Yesterday I had moved my vinca flowers, the ones still needing potting out of the bunch I'd bought. They'd been on the front porch and I don't think they were happy in the shade. So I put them out in the sun again. Until I get them into real pots, I must watch that they don't get dehydrated in the nursery packs. But I didn't want to give them transplant shock AND a move at the same time. May pot them tomorrow. After I came home this afternoon, I wrote a little on my satirical novel. I've been starting to shape the plot, list the characters, etc. for awhile, and I'm signed on for July NaNoWriMo Camp, have a "cabin" (group of fellow writers) with chat already active. I feel like this is going to get off the ground. My writing, like everything else, I flit around but I'm going to focus as best I can, in between other obligations such as the bunny club, and summer doings such as gardening. And decluttering... Also, heard from my friend who was hospitalized in the spring. She's doing great, is beginning to coordinate things for eventual transfer to a more independent living situation. I'm so thrilled for her. Wish I were able to drive highways and had money, I would go to where she is to visit and help. I'm pretty confident that I'll get to visit her at some point with my roommate's help, it just probably won't be right away. Found out my roommate has the entire week off next week. She will go visit family for the 4th, that's their big time. So I can have some night owl time and party with the cats and rabbits. And pray no one burns the neighborhood down with fireworks. Tillie - I'm curious about something, if you don't mind my asking - if you're not diabetic or otherwise physically unable to tolerate sugar, why so strict on it? I ask because I have found that if I restrict anything too much I do crave it more and that can backfire. But I know, discipline with pleasurable things is something we each have to find our own path about. That's been brought home to me in the past year with my Barbies/other dolls - how I am reining it in but it took awhile to be willing, and I probably need to be sure I'm being accurate with myself re whether I'm really spacing out new purchases like I intended, and overall slowing down and beginning to think "I have just the right amount, don't want more, may even let go of a few." Regarding the Barbie obsession, too, and the frazzled and volatile moodiness of last week before resuming my vitamin regimen, the science nerd in me recognized I'm probably looking to balance my brain's dopamine. I think I'm getting there with it. I may be rambling a bit. But be that as it may, I like to check in with you all. The BADGER may need to remind me again to make those medical appointments - tomorrow I think I'll be home and it'd be a good time. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 26 June 2019 - 05:33 PM |
Good Afternoon Everyone Hi Tatoulia Make sure to stay well hydrated in the heat. Hope the cleaners came and your bed is all made up. I want an official will and last wishes but Steven refuses to even talk about it. Hi Subclinical Good luck with your plans to get the ticket, gas up, toss trash and dropping off donations. You ARE doing very well. WAY TO GO! putting things in the waste basket! Went into town today. Then I went grocery shopping. Showed Steven my miniatures all laid out on the coffee table. Tempting but I'm tired and it's hot out now. In a few minutes I will start watering the grass and garden. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 26 June 2019 - 01:11 PM |
Tatoulia, I am very sorry for you about your sister, but I am SO glad you stood up for yourself! You are being very good about your money. It was sweet of your hairdresser to let you put it on account. Just be careful that you don't start snowballing expenses from month to month. I am proud of you toughing it out on the air conditioning. More walks! There is air conditioning in the mall. 😉 I used to take the kids to the library or the 75 cent movie theatre on super hot days. Sounds like you have a nice weekend planned. I am doing wash and hanging it on the clothesline. I have missed my clothesline! Today I am struggling through piles of papers and also working a little on the basement. I have bravely put some bits and pieces into my wastebasket that "normal" people would put in the trash without a thought. I think tomorrow I will drive up to the county seat and buy my fair ticket. I will also drop off things at a thrift store that is on the way, and bag up my wastebasket trash because I will need to get gas, so I can toss it out next to the pump. I am not really sure when I buckled down on the basement. I got my new shelves 29 days ago this afternoon - so I started the work after that. But I was reading that most inpatient programs run 28 to 90 days. Since I worked on evaluations quite a bit at first, and had most of a week vacation with dh when he took off work, i'd say mine is going quite well. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 26 June 2019 - 12:23 PM |
Hanging on. Not going great. BF is helping me a lot with the grief from my sister. Won't bother to recount it but I finally let loose today as she has now upped the ante. And I told her off. Cleaners are today, I hope! I've stripped my bed so they can make it for me! Someone is hogging the washer. But I did sneak in a load and now it's in the dryer. This coming weekend, a girlfriend of mine has invited my mother and me over. We are looking forward to it. Then Sunday BF and I are visiting with our friends who have the two kids we love so much. I am getting my hair cut & colored tonight. I'm short on cash but he'll let me pay him next week payday. He is very kind to me as he knows how much I do for my family. BF and I are being very strong with both our families right now. We discussed our wills and he knows he gets my house and life insurance and he is leaving all of his real estate overseas to one of his sisters, who is less fortunate than the others. He's also stopped sending them extra money. He needs to do some planning for his US business and real estate, which again I think should go to his sister. I neither need nor want any of it. I changed will to protect him and take care of him. I have pensions, etc to take care of me so I'd prefer to see his sister get everything. He laughed when I mentioned that if he doesn't survive me it'll go to my rich friend. Then he said, she'll know how to handle it so that's a good choice. So I'm obsessing. It's hard. It's so hot here and I need that new AC in the living room. I can't afford it til next week. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 26 June 2019 - 10:29 AM |
Good Morning Everyone Hi Subclinical WTG! for less MOOP! You are doing GREAT making changes in the way you do things, learning new housekeeping habits, new ways of thinking about things! It's not easy and it takes time to develop new habits. You are the best person to help dd2 if she wants help and will listen to you. Sorry your Mom sounded exasperated. Sorry about the moths. Off to town... | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 26 June 2019 - 08:03 AM |
Today is one of those days when it is hard to breathe. I found some things in the basement with moth damage and I am not sure how I feel. It is sort of a getting hit when you are numb feeling - resignation? I am looking out the window at a beautiful summer day. No rain at all in today's forecast. And I am imagining what it will be like next summer when I have a day like this and I actually have a garden out there to go enjoy. When everything doesn't feel like an uphill climb and I don't smell like stress all the time. I have to believe that will happen. Dh commented on the scullery this morning. He said "hey, it seems like there is less MOOP* in here." I said "there is." And then I told him about the counter cleaning and bag washing. He looked at me silently and I said "I know, you're thinking it shouldn't be this hard." And he said "I like to wash things as they get dirty." I said "i'm getting better." And he said "I know, I can see it." *MOOP - "material out of place" - could be trash, could be dirty dishes or laundry, could be car keys, groceries, or mail. I like it because it is a very nonjudgmental term. It says nothing about the person the MOOP belongs to and nothing about the item except that it doesn't belong where it is. I have to think of this as physical therapy for my brain. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 26 June 2019 - 04:36 AM |
Tillie, you frightened me. You mean dangerous because you will want to buy cake, right? I hope that you get a good break today and feel refreshed. I put my clothes line back up yesterday and washed the cow curtains again and hung them to dry. Then I laid them on the bed in the room where I want to hang them. I am going to ask dh about it this weekend. I talked to dd2 on the phone last night. she was shocked that I am still working on the basement with the nice weather this week. She thinks she is also a hoarder (I am not surprised.) she talked about shopping for the high and buying things and then not wearing them and needing to clean out her closet constantly (her biggies are shoes and clothes) I really want to help her while she is young. (Also, I am noticing that a lot of stuff in my house is hers, so it would be nice for me if she made decisions sooner rather than later.) I called my mom again yesterday. I think she is losing patience with me. She told me that if something had been given to me, it was mine and I should just do what I want with it. But she said it in an exasperated voice, not a reassuring voice. I will talk with her when I go home next week. But for now I will stop calling and asking things. There are some sentimental family things I am going to need her support on. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 25 June 2019 - 09:23 PM |
Good Evening Anyone Have to get away from here tomorrow. Going into town will be dangerous for me. I really want to eat a cake, a whole cake. Put myself on a strict NO SUGAR diet and I'm suffering. Too much stress around here with everything that never gets done and cake would make me happy. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 25 June 2019 - 12:56 PM |
Good Morning Everyone Hi Subclinical I always wash mine when I wash the dishes and there's never more than three to do. Having a video to listen to/watch does help when doing those kinds of tasks. WAY TO GO! making yourself a real lunch! This time of year I often will do a load of laundry, hang it out over night to dry & bring it in in the morning. Slept badly last night. I am physically unable to do all that yardwork any more like I used to do. There are a few dishes to wash, the usual cat related stuff to do and not much else. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 25 June 2019 - 11:32 AM |
This morning I cleared off the big counter in the scullery. And then I put on a video, scrubbed out the sink, and spent an hour washing used ziploc bags that had piled up on the counter. After the first five bags I started to hate it, but I made myself continue until the counter was covered with tented up bags drying. It took the whole 58 minutes and change of the video. Then I assessed the situation: Then I decided I was hungry. But it was too early for lunch, so I made myself put away a load of laundry and fix a real lunch before I ate. There are 22 more bags waiting. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 25 June 2019 - 05:10 AM |
Tatoulia, I am glad you feel a little better. Your sister is not your responsibility. You care so very much, but it is not your job to fix her. Enjoy your lunch. I'm glad the ladies brought it. Tillie, I was horrified about the weed eater, but then I remembered that where you live, leaving it in the driveway does not mean it will be soaking wet by tomorrow. Hopefully he will actually use it today. I don't think I will lose the punches again, because they will be in my work area in a drawer labelled "punches". Based on what else was in the bag, I still had children living at home when I bought them. Today I have to go to the grocery. I will also drop off the boxes of frames. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 24 June 2019 - 10:58 PM |
Good Evening Ladies Hi Subclinical If he keeps up with the positive reinforcement the ice cream stash won't go down so quickly. YEA! that the punches will go into the cabinet and hopefully you will never forget about them again. Hi Tatoulia My muther would always tell me the most upsetting things, things I had no control over. Sometimes we must speak up for ourselves, our mental welfare, our peace of mind. Happy you got in some walking today. Well, he got the handle properly attached to the new weed eater, read the manual and got it fired up, works as it should. I watered the grass & garden this evening. | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 24 June 2019 - 10:11 PM |
I'm better at the moment. Thank you so much for being here for me. Thank you so much for supporting me. Thank you. Bf did a bit of the walk with me and I cried and mentioned the things that were pressuring me and we sort of laughed about it. I like to laugh my life away. After he went back to work, I just walked and walked and walked and walked. I took one break to write to my sister and tell her how sad I am that I cannot help her and her BF. She's been escalating things and I've been proud of myself for staying strong but it's still a terrible burden for me to carry. I offered my car, she didn't get back to me, so I've done what I can do. She just sends emails with escalating problems and it is putting pressure on me. I feel like my responsibilities are getting the better of me right now. So I walked and walked and walked and I am much improved. And yay Tigger. Strong heart beat. Vet shaved a big portion of his fur because he's no longer grooming himself and he's giving us some issues when we try. So she shaved off one of the mats. Poor kitty. SubC you are remarkable. I am so proud and pleased and happy and inspired!!!! Yes let's hope it's contagious and that both Steven and I catch it ASAP. Tillie he listened and acted! Excellent! Now let's get rid of the old weeders since they've proven to be irreparable yet replaceable!!! The walk helped my spirits. But mainly, it was your support. We will get through this, together. Thank you so much. I knew I could count on you. I will read your posts. I have skimmed them but not digested them. Ps cleaning ladies told me around 3 that they could come today or Wednesday but I could tell they wanted to do Wednesday because she said there were only two of them. And so I said Wednesday works and she said, okay let me bring you your lunch. She dropped it off at 5:00. That's very loving and very sweet. | |
| Subclinical | Posted: 24 June 2019 - 08:31 PM |
My little metal drawers will be perfect for the punches! I actually still have some drawers empty in them because I have been slow about organizing and very picky about what is "drawer worthy". Tatoulia, I am happy about tigger, but poor you. Can you tell us about what is troubling you? I also want to know if there is anything at all we can do. I am so sorry to hear that something that should be bringing you joy is causing you pain. You give so much happiness away, you deserve bushels for yourself! Dh mentioned tonight that he had noticed that I have not "invaded" the new room. (I did put one picture of each of our birth kids on top of the piano) and thanked me. Then he said that he noticed that I had left most the boxes under his speakers empty (stacked cubes, open in front) and that he had been enjoying the revolving art display. So I put two more pieces of pottery in them. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 24 June 2019 - 07:46 PM |
Hi Subclinical WAY TO GO!!! YEA! for getting outdoors and doing all you did! I too wish you & Tatoulia were contagious and could infect Steven. 😉 Hi Tatoulia | |