Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
So sorry you couldn't get out any fabrics due to the ice sheet.
What a wonderful person your mechanic is!
Sometimes I think the captchas spy on us and say the right things. LOL ;P
What a shame the cat sitting people are nit picky and difficult.
They should be grateful their cats are happy and healthy.
Good luck with the possible bunny adoption and I pray everything goes well. (((HUGS)))

Hi Porter 🙂
That sure is a lot of work and heavy lifting going on there with the water collection set up.
Sorry that there are still people who do not even try to understand the hoarding disorder and refuse to educate themselves on how better to treat people who hoard. (((hugs)))

Hi Subclinical 🙂
Thank you 🙂
Probably auto correct changed food to shoes.
Sometimes it does the weirdest changes, totally changing the meaning of an entire post.

Still BLAH with this cold.
Hoping today I will be up to playing with the doll house a little.
Hard to handle tiny objects when coughing or sneezing. ;P
Haven't gotten any of the predicted rains/snows all week.
This Winter has been unnaturally warm and dry which is terrible news for ending our drought. 🙁

Oh my gosh Joan .
You are so right about non hoarders.

I gave spent weeks on end clearing cleaning and organizing , feeling great about making progress, recalling living space , only to family members disgusted with what I haven't accomplished yet.
Thing is somehow I give power over my mood and attitude and used to give up in despair . Not knowing my lable.

The hoarder lable is meant to help us understand others like us, not shackle us to never being able to learn change and grow. My personal learn change and grow is
I learned to accept that I hoard wether I intend to or not.
I changed because I no longer leave my hoards unorganized or kept unclean.
I grew because I now can have anyone in my home at anytime, I may be socially akward but my home is a open and welcoming place for those who ignore my idiosyncrasies .

I happy for your progress.

PS

I bought two 5 gallon fresh water jugs.
The neighbors. Were nice enough to let me fill them,
And I didn't refill them as often as I though I would.
By using the rain water to flush. Refilling every fourth day.

Even though five people said they would help. I only need two. I would fill on Saturday morning, and Wednesday morning. So each person I needed to visit once a week. And they were happy to help.

I'm in a rush.

Tillie
I recently had gas a d water turned of at the beginning of November , the temps wre about 40 for high.

I used a tea maker to heat water , then funnel into 2 liter bottles. Usually too hot and had to mix with a bit of cold water. I eventually dug out all my old tea makers from the past. I kept them for this purpose. Moved them all into the bathroom. They heated the bath room with the door closed.

But the real savings came on the bill for the next month.

See the water was shut off too.
I had started catching water from the gutters in large trash barrels that cleaned out, and put a mesh to keep everything but water. I had gathered huge laundry soap jugs that had huge opens ,after prying out the pour spouts from the jugs.
I had 8 jugs total, each jug poured into the toilet thuroughly flushed the toilet..
Each time I emptied one I would carry it to the door where the rain catch barrels were near. When I would leave for the day I would fill them. When I came back I I would carry them back to the bathroom.

In this way I still had electric appliances, the house was cold, but pipes in no danger of freezing . I heat one room room with little space heater. Make hot water from tea maker to bath and wash dishes. Flush toilets with rain water. I little more chore , but that like have to fetch from nearby creek, or do without.
However when the bill came, minus the ttwo weeks it was off, and the continued use of that system until Decemeburr 1st. My utility bills were $43. In October was $96.

It made consider adopting these methods in spring and fall.
Also where browse through thrift stores I look at the tea makers for the ones that make huge pots and are easy use.

I also have a monster of cooler ice chest for ice.
I would make the tea, put in the the cooler and the 2liters would stay warm for 5-6 hours. So if I had to work the next morning , starting at 10pm I would make 1 or two 2liters worth and put in the cooler, if I got up in middle of night not use toilet then I might 1 or 2 more and put in cooler. This also helped with keeping the first one from getting too cool, and were just perfect temp by 4:30 am.
At first I used to pour the to liters directly on my hair after shampooing, but quickly realized using a plastic pitcher of water , I bought from the $1 store could give me a better rush pour to get the shampoo out. But also made mixing cold and hot easy as pie .

But the dishes got funky. So when I used the hot water 2liters in the kitchen , it was a simple fix.

But how convenient it is for water and water heater to work correctly.
If there's a will there's a way Tillie.

CM, i'm sorry about all the stressors in your life. It actually sounds like "the big picture" is slowly coming together for you though. - identifying and removing negatives and moving toward good things (a better working van, another bunny companion) I know it is a struggle, but a struggle in the right direction.

Tillie try to accept the resting. I do hope you get the chance to pull your house together. Soon.

I don't know why my post said "(and shoes)" I swear I typed "(and food)" I have not bought shoes. I am still putting that off.

This is Chapter 2 of the post I started below.

How stressed and distracted am I? I had already taken the garbage dumpster back and forgotten about it. However, the mail had arrived, so not a wasted trip.

Speaking of distracted makes me think of ADD which makes me think of brains - Tillie, I know a hoarder guy who is a lot like Steven. This guy has cancer and is refusing things people offer that would help his health, and pulling in further and further. They seem similar in lots of ways. I wonder whether it's the chicken or the egg - the brain of a hoarder before cancer and just getting worse after, even with treatment. Hard to say, I guess. You're wise not to let him smoke indoors, at any rate.

Dollhouses - enjoyed everyone's posts about their dollhouses and dolls. I think one of our traits is that we retain that childlike quality of wonder and yeah, the clutter and hoarding can go along with it in some of us, but if we can tackle that, we can enjoy the benefit of our imagination and creativity.

And Porter, you're creating some big stuff too - having fun I hope. Your tub system is manageable and tweakable as your own preferences evolve - pretty cool, that! I liked your ideas about the bears - wonder if they could be microchipped via dart gun and wouldn't have to be moved out of their ecosystems. The liability for citizens to do it would probably be sky high, though. If people are eating Tide Pods, do we dare trust them to wrangle bears, LOL. Oh and, I was going to suggest trying peanut butter for mice bait.

While I was typing this, my mechanic brought my van back. I was able to pay him another installment.

Wrapping up misc. from my reading of posts - Tatoulia, yay for the space in the room - I want that so badly for my situation here. My ADD begets clutter which begets worse ADD. Nice clear space would be a perfect antidote. Hope the work stress situation has blown over completely by now.

SubC - glad your hubby found a place for your shelves. Maybe there's some other really innovative way to use that funky shaped closet. If I know you, you'll discover it! 😉

Well, my roommate needs to visit the bunny house tomorrow to pick up an order of supplies. So I think my bunny boy is going to ride along - and so will an extra carrier. If a new girl comes home, she will have big fluffy feet to fill, so to speak - and I'm going to have a "bunny whisperer" talk with her and say that I don't expect her to be anything but herself, and that she and boy bunny and I will all work together to make a happy team, one day at a time. We'll see what happens.

We may also stop by the cat sitting people's since it's in the same direction, and resolve the issue - which may simply mean I "resign" quietly and then have a cooling off period with the friend. Sometimes it just isn't meant to be to do business with friends. Que sera, sera.

Thanks everyone for having my back.

Hi friends, buckle your seat belts, as this post may be the length of War and Peace.

But so good to read through what everyone's been up to. First off, a huge rejoicing for Joan on the healing progress from the biting! WOOHOO!!! Let's celebrate! 🙂

I am back home from cat sitting. The people came back a day early. They didn't bother to let me know about the date, and there is some negativity going on. I am thinking I may not do this anymore, which is sad, I'll miss the cats, and I hate to lose the little $$ source, but I can't seem to please the human(s) and it's wearing on me badly. I tried to do everything right but am still catching flak.

This has been an ongoing pattern I had kept hoping would get better but it is not. 🙁 "Ain't nobody got time for that." It has been struggle enough doing it with the frigid weather, keeping my van running, my bunny dying in the middle of it all, and so on. I'm more than ready for a break.

Transitioning to less unpleasant topics...I've been doing the best I can to coast through the stress. Turned to my coloring book - no risk, and nice pretty colors and the rhythm of the pencil on the paper - soothing to my frayed nerves.

Got out my Barbies that I want to make clothes for, was hoping to work on patterns for them today. A friend took me to brunch and we stopped by the storage unit; I wanted to get out some fabric. The unit I have moved into has one issue and I guess I'm going to need to approach it with the management at some point - the gutters are leaky near mine, and I noticed last year when there was rain, it was really drippy by the door to my unit. Well, now, since my door faces north, the last remainder of our winter storm has made a sheet of ice and I couldn't get the door open. So I guess I'll wait for my fabric. Temps are up so hopefully the ice will melt in a few days.

The mechanic has my van. There are more things needing replaced than originally known - not terribly expensive, but more than I'd planned while my money is as tight as it is. I hope I can pay him enough for it to be fair even though it will take awhile to get it all paid. Bless him for being so good about it.

I hear the trash dumpster outside and I need to go out and get it. Rather than risk this post getting lost if my computer goes to sleep, I'll call this Chapter 1. Stay tuned for Chapter 2 in a bit.

LOL I just looked at the Captcha and it says "AUTOS vehicles" - what are the odds?!

Good Morning Everyone 🙂

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
I wish you had a tiny yard so you could enjoy line dried sheets.
At least you have Kitty purrs! (((hugs)))

Hi Subclinical 🙂
WAY TO GO!!! for only acquiring so few but needed things this week! 😀
Sometimes life gets in the way of keeping up with housework, that's just the way it is. 😉
Yes! get that clothes line back up!

My house is a big mess because I am tired with this head cold.
Since I am tired I will only to the absolute necessities like cat chores.
When we are sick we MUST do as our bodies dictate and get the rest we need to recuperate.
Unfortunately, resting in bed gives us plenty of time to think about all the things we want to do.
I really want to repaint the living, dining areas ceiling and walls.
It's been over ten years. Maybe later Summer or Autumn I can do that?

"Dreams are nothing more than wishes and a wish is just a dream we wish to come true."
Harry Nilsson, "The Puppy Song"

Joan, that is wonderful news!

Tillie, i'm Glad your water heater turned out well. I hope the cold clears up just as quickly. You remind me that I need to get my clothes line back up in the spring! It's been down since we started construction - it has to have a new location.

CM - I agree that the universe may be telling you this is a time to stay home and regroup. Could you get a ride to church for a little while? That seems like a thing churches should do.

Tatoulia, i'm glad you are getting to enjoy your living room.

I'm pretty much holding the line on the house these days. Not quite keeping up with the mess, but not accumulating things. Dh bought new stove pans this week and they were damaged when we opened the package, so I have to return them. All i've bought is a tube of glue. (And shoes).

Joan your progress is heartwarming. I say prayers for you and send you my love and best wishes. You are important. You are a good friend and a good person. I'm so grateful to know you and to have your friendship.

Tillie. I am so sorry about your head cold. Tea, lemons and tiny oranges are the best medicine. As always. I am envious of the fact you can hang your clothes outside to dry. I long for the sheets of my childhood. Percale cotton dried on the line.

Just home after a full day. Kitty is purring.

Good Morning Everybody 🙂

Hi Joan 🙂
That's wonderful!
Wishing you great success in further reclaiming your health.

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
Sorry about another vehicle expense & inconvenience.
Maybe staying home a little more right now is something you need and "The Fates" are trying to make it so. (((HUGS)))

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
YEA!!! WTG!!! for more space in the living room!!! 😀
Your dining room table with two chairs, set in the bay window sounds so lovely and intimate.

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂

Hi Everyone else 🙂

Day three of this head cold.
Been treating it with lots of green tea with fresh lemon and eating tiny mandarin oranges.
Dark cloudy overcast day with rain/snow predicted.
All the laundry dried nicely on the line yesterday so I have no laundry to wash, YEA!
Water heater still heating water.
Have no need or plans to go into town until maybe middle of next week.
My plans for today are to take it easy and nap off & on. 😉

I have some progress to report. After a lifetime of work, and particularly intense work these last few decades, my neurology is becoming healthy. The biting has almost stopped.

I still have to be very careful about sticking to my routines in order to prevent a flare-up. I started out being a little more ambitious about what I could do, but now I just do more yoga when I have extra time (or insomnia like tonight). The compulsive eating at night is almost gone, and I am comfortable most of the time. I am working on getting myself into a stronger diurnal rhythm. Shocking to think about, when even a couple of years back I didn't have days or nights. I just slept whenever I could manage to get my body to sleep and had no medical appts. There were no meal times. I stuffed food into my mouth to help calm me down, or to help me sleep, or when I was tired of biting for hours on end and just tasting blood.

There is without a doubt a neurological component to the hoarding disorder, a component that is connected to ingrained trauma. There is no one-size-fits-all solution, but I have hope that more people will find their way out of the maze of hoarding as time goes on.

I really appreciate all your posts and support here: Tat, Tillie, Anony, CM, Porter, SubC, and anyone I've forgotten. One of the biggest hurdles to overcome is the stigma, and the head trips people without hoarding try to put on hoarders. Good that none of us faces this alone.

We cross-posted, CM! I so enjoyed reading your thoughtful post. I'm dismayed by your car problem. I am glad you have good and understanding people in your life. You are a good person and a great friend.

Hello to the bunnies and the kitties. How sweet that you hand-fed the bunny today.

Hey hey Tillie that is great news!!!! Glad to hear it!

I got the recycling out and went up to see mom. She was asleep in her recliner with her cat on her lap. Now that's a cozy scene!!!

It is very nice having so much space in my living room right now. It's helping me notice what else needs to go. Like a chair I should have never bought. That can go to consignment store. It's useless. It's in the living room but it needs to go. It's very, very pretty so hopefully will sell.

In other news, I'm happier with just two chairs at my table. My table is in the bay window and it looks nice and neat with two chairs/very congested with four. I have other chairs I can pull over if I have four people over to eat (which also requires me to pull the table out of the bay as there isn't enough room). BF has already taken one of the extra dining chairs and wants the other one.

Ok that's the news.

Hi, just a pop in again. I'm at the kitty sitting house. My roommate works down the road and she had to drop me off here because my van has a bad starter so my mechanic said don't drive it. Welp. There goes my kitty sitting money. But at least I will have it.

It'll take longer now to climb out of the hole with the van. But it's not a huge bill; I can chip away at it, because of the kindness of my mechanic letting me pay him off. Still owe for the remainder of his pulling out the fender after the Dec. wreck.

I'm not averse at all to having a reason to stay at home the latter part of this month to conserve gas money. I can probably get rides to quilting from my gal pal in the group. The only other obligatory things are Sunday Mass and my Tuesday holy hour; I'm stocked on groceries and who knows how the weather will be. So I'll be doing laundry, writing, maybe a touch of sewing. And fulfilling my napping quota, that's very important. LOL!

I do want to go back and read everyone's posts for the last couple of weeks - just because I enjoy it - might be a few more days till I get to but then I'll feel caught up. I've skimmed them a bit.

Today would've been my clutter club meeting but with all the transportation issues I'll just wait till next month. And as soon as the weather does give some nice days (not impossible at any time of the year where I live), I'm feeling motivated to go putter in my new, close to home storage unit. It's close enough that I wouldn't even sweat the gasoline much.

Bunnies are doing okay - roommate's little guy gave us a scare yesterday, didn't want to eat in the morning. I hand fed him, then he went in his litter box and left a little pile of poopies - a very good sign - and jumped out and went to his food bowl and started chowing down. He's under surveillance till we're sure he's back 100%. He's been on antibiotics so maybe they were upsetting his tummy.

My bunny boy, the widower, is hard to read. He's got a super chill personality. I had wondered about taking him to meet the female adoptable bunny this weekend - just to see how it went, and how I felt. With the vehicle issues now, don't know if it'll be this weekend or some other time. There is no need to rush. But little by little my mind is contemplating the idea, and bunny boy will give his opinion when he actually goes on a date with the girl bunny.

Overall, I'm not feeling as stressed even though there are things I could stress over - I'm consciously trying not to stress, to just ride the wave and float along. I know God's got my back and it'll work out. Hope it does for all of you as well, wherever you're at with your lives.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Sounds cozy. Snuggly purry kitty and snow. ;D
Good luck getting the recycling out!

Well, a miracle has occurred.
Somebody at his work asked him "did you hit the reset button before trying to relight it?"
He came home and sure enough, there IS a reset button.
This water heater is less than two years old. It's one of those new fangled models with the electronic ignition.
He had to buy this new one when he fixed the old one with a hammer and broke off the fittings welded to the top.
Said he had to use a large mallet to break them off.
The old broken water heater is still in the back yard making it difficult to get past to the clothes line.
The even older one was here for many years until a neighbor on his way to the dump on free dump day took it away for me.

There is an ancient stone lined abandoned well on the property here.
Over the years I have completely filled it with old broken appliances and rubble.
Now I no longer have a nice big dangerous hole to put things in. ;P

Thank you all for your sympathy and well wishes.
(((HUGS)))

Your addition sounds so lovely, SubC. Mar im glad you made it through the inspection!

Oh gosh Tillie re the water heater. I generally replace mine as soon as the warranty runs out because I once had a flood situation and there is an apartment beneath mine. I need to replace mine now but cannot afford it. I'm worried for you.

I'm doing laundry today. Have a little kitty purring next to me as I'm working. We are having some snow and it looks pretty.

I'm hoping to get some work done around the house today. At a minimum I wang to get my recycling out.

Hi Subclinical 🙂

Don't fell ungrateful (((hugs)))
I will manage to survive this somehow, even if I don't want to. ;P
Your addition sounds so wonderful!
You deserve to have such a lovely space. 😀

Didn't sleep much all night then Steven got up at 4:00am and started to fiddle with the water heater again.
It will take some time before we have any hot water because he always tackles any tasks/chores with an extremely pissy and frustrated attitude and never reads any instructions, asks for advice or looks up things online.
Then he will use a hammer to "fix" whatever needs fixing and if that doesn't work he just gets a bigger hammer.
What amazes me is that his job at work is maintenance person, how does he keep his job???
Every appliance here that has malfunctioned he honestly has "fixed" with a hammer and that's why we always end up having to buy cheap new things.
I suggested he call a plumber so he just got nasty & snarky toward me.
Not having any hot water is not my biggest problem.
I really wish he would get some counseling for his anger issues.

Anyways...
no rain today, washing some laundry and going to hang it out soon as the sun comes up. 😀

Oh no Tillie, how hard is the water heater going to be to fix?

porter, that does sound like a good day.

Mar, don't worry, I can afford the taxes. (hopefully the government will do something GOOD with them) but we weren't planning on them, so there will be some little cuts and big delays. I'm glad we didn't have a crystal ball, because maybe we would not have built the addition on our house if someone had said "oh, you will have a mortgage payment again, and your property taxes will go up, and your income taxes will go up too." and I love having this addition. (It is a big room on the back of a small house that includes an open kitchen on one side. It has big windows that let in the light, and I was able to put 16 people I love in it and feed them sitting down at Christmas time!)

Right now I am more worried about the heat bill. I keep the wood stove going when I am home and awake, and turn the heat down when we are gone, but every morning I wake up and the electric emergency heat has kicked on. It would help if it would warm up!

Focusing on school (job) today.
Then I think about Tillie being cold and I feel ungrateful.

Hello everybody

Hi Porter 🙂
Bet that nice warm bath after shoveling snow felt heavenly. ;D

Hi Mar 🙂
He knows why he should not be smoking, his cardiac doctors warned him, he lies to them too.
If I told him that I know he's still smoking then he would feel no need to hide it from me any more and would smoke even more and start chain smoking inside the house again.

No gardening today. 🙁
Made meatloaf and went to wash up dishes and discovered the water heater wasn't working.
Heated water on the stove...

Hi all! 😀

Porter, wow! I'm glad photos have helped you so much. I don't know if I could to adopt a system like that, but it sounds interesting.

Tatoulia, thanks. Finally I could do something, mainly in the kitchen.
Clothes on my bed went to a big bag. Big, but insufficient ...

Tillie, what would happen if he realizes you know he still smokes?
Well, I think if I were in a similar situation, that is, harming my health, I'd like there was someone willing to help me to see the reality to can got out of the problem.
Maybe you have already tried ...

Subclinical, sorry for the taxes 🙁

CF, welcome! 🙂

CriticalMass, thanks! And sorry about the bunny.

Joan, this reminds me of a social network where people post their petitions and pray for those of others. It's http://www.mayfeelings.com

-------
I'm still tired after the cleaning of last Sunday. I'm sleepy too.
This is what happened with the cleaning process and the visit of the landlady. All of you can read and comment.

Hugs for everyone.

I'm sad at the passing of singer of the cranberries.
Some of most precious relationships , I still remember through listening to her sing.

I also belive in prayer Joan.

CF I found this group a while back , and they helped me, and I never felt like I couldn't discuss anything with them.
Even when things were very difficult. I feel blessed.

Today was feed day for me, I had alot of shimp, I over ate,
Spinnach salad with everything , even hotpit peppers and honey omg it sooooooo gooooooood. Sipping on warm orange tea now. Paper plates and plastic fork and solo cup. kitchen is clean. Trash is ready to be picked up from curb in two days. No trash anywhere to found.
Didn't step foot in the living room so it's still ready for anything or anybody.
Basement is like a calling , it's like a mad scientists idea of foam in foam on for around foam wrapped in foam. It's nuts . I can get lost in the hoarding of it all. And not even look at the project it's intended to go towards. But not even going there today. Just using tablet to keep reinventing the pieces and parts.

I cleaned the bathroom real quick with towel and windex.
And will be starting a bath, soon after I post this. Oh I guess I'll shovel the snow first, then get in the really warm salt bath.
It's been a good day.

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
I'm so happy you posted (((HUGS)))
Keep taking it one day at a time, we can't rush these things.
Please eat, sleep and rest as you are able.
(((((HUGS)))))

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
WTG!
Wishing you FANTASTIC! success on reclaiming the living room! 😀

Hi Subclinical 🙂
Have a great day at work today 😀

Hi Joan 🙂

Hi CF 😀

Spent more time outside yesterday working on the front yard/garden area.
Got all the grass raked/thatched then spread steer manure on it.
Rain and snow predicted for the rest of the week.
The inside of the house is a disaster area now.
I'm sore and stiff from yardwork but really must get busy cleaning up in here.
Will move slow & take my time. Little by little it will get done in about 2 or 3 days. ;P

CM, you will know when it is time.

Hi Joan!

Tatoulia, I think taking time to enjoy your progress is a good thing! I really enjoyed being able to have my house clean and decorated for the winter holidays. I'm looking forward to next year, when, if all goes well, the addition will have a floor. (Instead of just subfloor)

Today I go back to work. Sigh.

I love my job, but I am such a hermit. I told dh yesterday "if we were home for a few more days, I might have to go out to the studio, (across my yard) just for a change of scenery."

CM, it is good to hear from you. Your post caused me to reflect, as I often do, on how fragile people really are.

There is a church named Unity (Unity.org) that was founded over 125 years ago just to pray for others. They began by meeting in someone's attic, and prayer is still the core of their service: Silent Unity. There is never a charge for this service. When you request prayer, they pray for you on your request for 30 days. It really makes a difference.

A prayer request might be something like, "I am grieving the loss of a pet bunny, and I feel like there is a black hole in my soul." They used to have a toll-free line you could call to make requests, or you could submit requests by mail. They have added email requests since I was last in touch with them. They make affirmations on your behalf, and send you a really nice prayer request confirmation with a copy of a relevant Unity article.

Hope this helps.

Ok I've decided not to make a bag fit consignment just yet because I'd like to get living room to a place where I don't have extraneous bags around. I want to be able to feel the space I am craving.

CM I'm glad to hear from you. Trust your instincts -- never rush grieving. I'm glad you are finding ways to cope and again, I'm just so sorry about the bunny.

Very cold here today--looked like winter all day with grey skies. Reminded me of winter as a kid. We are expecting snow tomorrow.

All of my dishes are at goodwill. I also had the bag of shoes and a bag with some sweaters in it. I have vacuumed my bedroom and by some miracle the washer is empty so I just put my sheets in. I haven't worked on the kitchen but I have puttered in other places. I'd like to finish getting the things off my floor in the living room and give it a good sweep. My garbage is out and kitty box is clean. I found some more things I can consign. Things I wasn't willing to get rid of previously.

I will start a bag.

Hi all,

Hi Mar and CF, welcome or welcome back as the case may be.

A blessed Martin Luther King Jr. Day to everyone.

I'm still cat sitting.

It's stinking cold here, had light snow but wind chills are the worst thing. In a sort of lull but if the wind picks up as it's predicted to do, I'll be glad to hurry back home and will likely take a nap.

Collecting information and letting my creative juices stew on writing I want to do when I'm through cat sitting. Any other time, being in this nice quiet place would be conducive to creative activity. But I'm holding off.

That's because I'm still in the mental health break from when my big bunny girl died. It just feels like a black hole in my soul - an infinitesimal dot from which no light and hardly any feelings can even escape, due to the heavy gravitational pull of disbelief, shock, and grief.

I told my bunny shelter club friends on the day of bunny's funeral that I didn't know if/when I will foster or adopt. That is not like me; though I always honor the outgoing rabbit, I usually don't wait long before bringing in the successor.

There were two shelter bunnies I'd particularly loved - large breed ones, my preference. One female, one male. If I won the lottery I'd have already taken them. In my mind since losing my girl was the thought that when I felt ready, it would be difficult to choose because they were both so sweet.

Then yesterday I saw on Facebook that the male had died of an illness that had been hidden and suddenly worsened! So it's looking like it will be the female, when the time is right. I feel like I need to decompress from all that has happened, and (I can trust you all not to call me crazy for saying this) talk to my widowed boy bunny about what he thinks I should do. And pray about it all.

So that's where things stand for now. The lady, the bunnies, and the black hole.

Welcome CF! sometimes it is good to have a mental health day.

Tatoulia, my "mortgage" is a home equity loan - so just became undeductable.

Tillie, your yard work makes me smile. Everything here is under snow. Severe storm warning much of the night. I expect to 4WD my way out to work tomorrow though.

The goats are enjoying the tree, and dh is enjoying having his living space back to normal. The tree skirt is in the wash.

It feels a little plain and dull in here, but only a little more than two weeks to Imbolc (or Candlemas or Groundhog Day if that is your holiday) so time for resting in the space as planning ahead.

Also more work on the basement. I want the doll shelf up before then!

It is good to see encouraging posts today.
I set a goal to move forward, no matter how small the step. I organized the papers around my living room chair. Called in sick today to work, more emotionally ill than anything. Found this group yesterday, very grateful for that.