Good morning!

Messi, we all have times in our lives like that. I'm sorry this is yours. Just try to keep things from getting worse. Give yourself grace.

My counter of doom is still doomy, but less so, and my dining porch is better-I finally hung up the winter lights and decorations that were sitting on the table - now it is mostly papers and it looks more cheery to me. I unpacked my people and assembled them. One was a snowman, so I set him on my shoe holder file cabinet as part of my porch decor. (All my "snow" things are out right now) I put the others away in their box for now. The box will fit in the bin where my Legos go, but I might want to play with them again soon (haven't made all my decisions about destinations yet, or figured out where the Christmas stash will go - I filled its space with games when I got everything out in December.

In the absence of commentary, I am going with my counting plan. I did open my bathroom cupboard and grab one old small item (sample sized or mostly gone) I was going to "use up, wash out and recycle, maybe want" for each Lego figure and throw those in the trash. That was a hard step for me. Those don't count as out, but I decided that if the Lego figures are too small to count as items, those things are too small to invest my time and energy in.

I need to take the trash with me today - I have to go to the grocery store after school. We are out of things. And I need it to be gone so I don't change my mind. I'm also taking the recycling and some things to school.

Today's goals:
Chores
Lesson plans
Drop recycling
Unload kiln
Teach
Sign up for workshop sessions on Saturday (sign up genius opens 1/2 hr after school gets out)
Grocery store (drop trash)
Come home and PUT AWAY groceries.
Keep up with house.
More chores.

Very simple.

Good morning.

I did not put away all of the groceries last night. I unpacked everything, and I put away the perishables, but there are two or three bags worth of "stock ups" that need to go down to the basement and get put away in the pantry cabinet. Mostly chips - Dh asked for 2 kinds of chips and they were "buy two, get three free" so we have ten family sized bags of chips. He will eat them. If I don't buy him chips he buys them himself. But he never looks at the shelf tags. So for example, even if the chips he wants are "buy one, get one free" he will grab one bag and leave the free one. Then he will go back when he runs out of chips. Drives me crazy.

So, yeah, was tired. Didn't put everything away.

I volunteered for a big project today. One of the teachers had a bunch of manipulatives and materials that are all mixed up together. He is cleaning out his classroom closet. His plan was to dump them all in a bag and take them to goodwill. I offered to sort them out because I want some of them for my room and I know other teachers use others. He pushed them into my room on a cart. It is nicer than one of my pottery carts (they get heavy use). I said "ok, I will take all of these home and sort them out. You can have your cart back tomorrow. Do you need these bins or can they go with the materials?" And he said "actually, if you could make it so I never see any of this again, that would be great." And I said "you don't want your cart?" And he said "no." So I am also upgrading my cart!

But the back of my car is full of bins and trays and Legos and knex and beads and stamps and plastic creatures and cubes and shapes and sticks and for all I know the holy grail.

But I actually like sorting when things are clean and not broken and have a place to go .

So, today's menu:
Fire
Chores
Put food away
Sort stuff
Pottery
Lesson plans
Seed order
Reclaim clay
Counter of doom
Basement
Bake
Chores

Only fire, chores, food away, and lesson plans are mandatory. Although we all know I often punt lesson plans to morning.

What are you guys up to?

hello guys,

I have the flu and have been super sick. I am missing work and not able to do much of anything at home either. Just sleeping, laying around like a zombie. It sucks.

One good thing is the big freezer is leaving my house today. TotsDad found someone at work who wanted it for $300 (a steal, but I just want it gone) so before I got really sick, I emptied it out, put anything still good in my upstairs freezer and TotsDad's freezer, threw away anything questionable and wiped it out. I am happy to have the $300 and TotsFam is happy to have the extra space (it is in the family room downstairs).

Aside from that, I am just no use for anything right now and will no doubt miss another day or two of work. I have not caught up on reading, but will.

Good morn8ng.

Lila, I am sorry you have been sick!

Thank you for coming to post about the freezer!

I mostly sorted school Legos on Thursday. I found that I was ok throwing away little bits of broken things and trash I found in the Legos and not making piles of tiny plastic or paper recycling. I feel less "responsible" when the items are not mine.

I sort of put the food away. There is still a bag sitting next to the pantry cupboard because I have fantasies of cleaning out a shelf before I put it away.

I am making progress on the counter of doom.

School went well on Friday. I talked to a coworker friend who is cleaning out his studio. He said he recently filled a ten foot U-Haul trailer with recycling. So, he gets me. I also took bean to the book fair (book added in tally)

The teacher workshop yesterday was really good. I brought home consumables, stickers, a couple of catalogs and some little cloths for cleaning off your glasses. I am not counting any of that as "things".

Dh and I were out late last night, so I am being lazy this morning. He picked me up at the workshop and we left my car overnight. He will take me back today because he has lunch plans with friends, and I will work at the studio, have dinner at Bean's house, and bring the boys home to spend the night.

Monday is boys and my class, So it will be Tuesday before I really work on anything again.

I am very tired of winter.

hi again!

I am feeling slightly better. Yesterday I did not sleep most of the time. Today my lungs are getting clearer. Maybe I can get some decluttering done today.

TotsDad said he has a plan to be moving out this summer. I told him if he is still here when winter is dawning, I will be moving out to a smaller place to rent and he can just pay MY rent and stay here through the winter. He said there is no way he is not going to be moved out before winter. So we have a plan.

The weather has been nicer and I sat outside in the sun yesterday and that helped. Will do that again today.

I cannot believe I have been coming here for years, and have made so much progress on the hoard. Thank you friends. Thank you SubC, Tatoulia, CM, messi...Thank you Tillie and Road, whereever you are... and anyone else my sick brain is forgetting.

I know I mentioned the chat on this forum before... it has helped me because there usually are a few people there throughout the day, not during scheduled chats, and I can pop in and do what they call a Buddy Round. Where you buddy with someone or a few people and commit to working on something for a set amount of time. So I might say 15 min or 30 or 45... and then come back and check in. I haven't done much in the past 5 sick days but I will probably do a buddy round or two in there today. Sometimes I just leave the window open to see what people are doing when I sit down to have tea, and someone will want to buddy, and that gets me off my butt.

Anyway I am happy to have you all and am working on making my life better. Catch you later!

Second post today -

SubC, I appreciate that contrast between a collector and a hoarder! I never thought of it that way, and it makes sense. As I sort things I think I "love," I am going to decide: are these things going to be on display in my home? Or just piled in a corner or a box for years? I bet you will figure it out iwht the dolls, too. Maybe dh can make you another space to display your favorite ones, somewhere.

Good job with the frames etc too!

hi KeepingItReal! We do enjoy reading each other's progress. I am glad you are getting some things done. I am posting mainly here and on the Tally, although sometimes on the No Spend thread and sometimes on the Decluttering the Pounds thread, too.

hi Messi! Good to see you! I hope you make the progress you want... and get some sleep.

My update:
I slept in til 9 this morning and feel sooo much better! Then I worked on the small storage bedroom and the playroom. I sorted and threw out a lot of trash, moved a box of things downstairs that belongs to TotsFam, and donated or threw out 35 items for the Daily Tally.

Feeling good about all of that. I was going to work downstairs in my office, which I still may, but was hesitant because everyone down there is sick. Maybe I will put on a mask and hurry to do my laundry.

Back later with updates.

Good morning!

Lila, you did great work yesterday!

I am still tired from the cold outside and the cold in my head and the short daylight.

I can't believe January is almost over and keep thinking about all the things I didn't do. I am trying to be gentle with myself and remember that winter is hard for me.

I have not gained anymore weight since Christmas. I did swim a few times, I did yoga over 60% of the days, I had some good days with my grandsons and school has been going fine overall. It varies. (Yesterday I had a frustrating morning with one student followed by a fantastic class with my most difficult group.) I got through my evaluations. I paid my sales taxes on time. I have been using up food in the pantry and keeping fires going to help with the heating bill. Laundry and dishes are not overwhelming. And I met my basement decluttering goal for January (I may even have exceeded it.)

The cross quarter falls on February 3 this year, so there are a few more days to wrap up winter before I start looking forward to spring. Tomorrow I have a monthly potter's brunch and will stay at the studio to work, and Monday I have the boys, so I will focus on regrouping today.

My Legos arrived yesterday (the package was small, so they put it in the mailbox) and my tired brain enjoyed putting it together (I like puzzles, but I like Lego better) it is set up on the work table in the sleeping porch (aka "Birdy's room") next to the two cloth bins of papers I still need to sort out.

I also brought home a really pretty box from a pile that was given to me for class projects - it is too large and flat for the kids to use, but very sturdy. I'm thinking I could store some flat winter decorations in it and put the box up on edge behind them or behind some year round things while the winter things are out.

Two steps forward, one step back. I will add both items to the tally.

Addendum

I took the 8*10 frames I like around the house, and after some discussion with Dh - who - you may be as shocked as I was to learn - does not have strong feelings about picture frames, I was able to add three more frames I do not like to the donate pile, and I sacrificed a potential large shadow box that I do like, but not as much as I like my reindeer, and now all the empty frames and shadow boxes and things that need to be hung fit in two boxes! (But one box has things in it that stick up so it will not close. - it is a flap box. The other one is a printer paper box with a lid.)

I am feeling pretty good about my progress.

Good afternoon.

This morning I have been puttering around in the basement, opening up unlabeled bins, and sorting like with like. I found a box of useful boxes (eyeroll) and was able to consign half of them to recycling or "take to school for kids to take projects home"

Doing this required me to give up on two project ideas I had saved boxes for - so I am giving myself one "item"

I told Dh "the roads are clear and the thrift store opened at noon today - so I think I will run down."

He said "do you really need to go anywhere today? What are you looking for? You don't need anything."

I said "I need to drop these bins off so I can stop looking at them and have more space to work."

And he said "OH! You're dropping off! Sure, go."

So I will probably do that soon.

I went to the thrift store
I dropped off two overflowing piled up 18 gallon bins and one large tote bag of stuff.
I did not go inside.

My phone rang
My glasses were ready!
I picked them up!

They ordered the wrong prescription the first time. Then they accidentally "reordered" instead of making a new order with the corrected prescription. That pair was delayed by holidays. They ordered the correct prescription. This pair was delayed by snow. There were no additional charges, but I have been waiting almost three months for my glasses!

My old back up glasses will get donated, so this is a zero item trade.

Hello.

SubC, you did nice work for a snowy cold winter day, all that sorting. congratulations on dropping things off at the thrift store annnd Congratulations on finally getting your glasses!

Fixed an apron and walked dog before I went to work today, then went to PT for my shoulder, took the dogs for a short walk and a play date, sorted a pile of papers, prepared recycling, did hand therapy.

I am struggling with poor eating and sleeping recently, so off I go for some of both...

Good morning.

Messi, sleep and food are so important! They are the basis for everything else!

School wiped me out yesterday. I am not fully over my cold and apparently I did not have the energy to jump back in at full speed.

Today I need to put some time and energy into cleaning up my house. I have really let it slide while I have been focusing on the basement.

I also need to get more animal feed, pick up my mail, get (and keep) the fire going, remix some scrap clay for school, plan for tomorrows classes, and take care of an unpleasant barn issue.

I also want to work on my pottery some - it is stilling falling to the untouched bottom of the list. And I have not ordered my seeds.

Good evening.

I kept the fire going.
I took care of all of my barn things and bought feed (which is still in my car) and picked up my packages (because the mailman can't get down my drive - more on them later) and ran a load of dishes and a load of laundry and cleaned up a little.

I didn't do any pottery or order seeds and I forgot the scrap clay. I also called the phone company and got rid of the late charges (we paid electronically and they recorded our payment on the 5th. Then they charged us a late fee on the 9th. Then the next month we only paid the regular bill and not the late fee, so they charged us another late fee on the unpaid late fee we didn't owe. The whole process was annoying. Mostly the reaching a human part.)

I kind of know what we are doing at school tomorrow.

My dolls came - those were the packages. I fixed the grandpa and put the extra parts in the bag no problem. The new play doll is clean and in great condition and I really like him. But I am having a harder time than I thought letting go of the old one. Trying made me sad. I carried him around until I found a different doll that needs too much work and put it in the parts bag. So I am still even, but I might see if I can learn how to restring him myself.

I am not saving any boxes or packing material- all recycle, school, or fire starting.

Good morning!

Finally a day off! I am going to do some decluttering today. I now have easy access the small storage bedroom, my office, and even the garage. TotsDad threw some things out, and moved a lot of tubs and things from the garage into other Son's old bedroom, and took all his stuff out of my office. So there is no excuse not to get some more stuff out of here now.

I don't want to settle here reading and typing, as the morning is flying by (I slept til 9!) so after I do some work on those spaces I will reward myself by coming back and catching up on reading your posts. Will come back and update, hopefully also with things for the daily tally!

p.s., I bought the old vacuum around 2013 and it was refurbished.

Lila, if you can afford a new vacuum, I say go for it. Having a good vacuum makes a huge difference in my life. I am much more likely to vacuum and my house is much cleaner.

I have never regretting investing in quality for vacuums, washing machines, dryers, or dishwashers.

Good morning from the snowy Midwest! I have a fire going and the outside lights on, and it's like being inside a cozy snow globe.

The outside temp has gone from -2 yesterday to a "balmy" 15 degrees, and with the heat lamps on and the nice thick layer of snow insulation, barn chores shouldn't be too bad this morning. I'm going to do them a bit later though, because my cold is still miserable and I topped everybody up well last night.

I started a bookshelf last night and visited it again this morning. I think I can make some significant progress on it today. There are technical pottery books on glazing and firing that I am never going to use, and technique/idea books that I have gone past. There is also a bunch of teaching stuff from my regular classroom and homeschooling days, but I don't know. I have a whole shelf of easy readers/instruction books that I really liked. I think I will keep them until after Buddy learns to read. That seems like a long time, but I'm afraid it will go in a flash.

I also have a very large doll collection. Huge might be a better word. Hundreds. My grandmother collected dolls, and she also collected them for my mother, my cousin and me. After she died we inherited the dolls. Some were sold, but for very little. I started looking online to help my aunt with prices and resources (part of the problem was that the market was not there in the area where the dolls and my family were) and she did sell some on eBay for a reasonable amount. Eventually I am going to have to deal with the hundreds that are in my mother's house because she decided that if we were only going to get a few dollars for them, she would keep them. (My cousin and I used to say that instead of selling the four story, 14 room house that my grandparents lived in, we should turn it into the (my grandmother's name) memorial doll museum.)

One side effect of all that looking around online was that I found opportunities to fill in my collection with duplicates of dolls my cousin had claimed and new artists. Most of them were not expensive, and even the "very expensive" ones were less than Dh and I would spend on an evening out, and it made me happy. I think it made me feel closer to my grandmother, whom I was grieving. When my boxes came I would open them and video call my mother and we would enjoy the new arrival together and discuss how much gram would have liked it and how good it was that she never discovered eBay. Eventually I started buying "lots"that included dolls I wanted thinking "well, the whole lot is only 5 or 10 dollars more than I would pay for the doll, and I get all these extras and maybe I will sell them." (Spoiler, no I won't) that is where those dolls I will never fix came from.

Also, sometimes the lots included duplicates of other dolls I already had - twins! This went on for about two years, and then I had bought most of the dolls I wanted and could afford, I realized how big the collection had gotten, and I closed my eBay account. (there are about half a dozen $150 and up I would still love to have, but probably never will.)

Anyway, almost all of the vinyl, plastic, and cloth dolls are out on shelves or in cupboards, but the china dolls are packed away. And I know I have duplicates of Ashton Drake dolls. They are not worth a lot, but they are pretty, and I don't want to donate them to a thrift store because I am afraid they will just get broken. I would give them to a person if I knew a person who wanted them.

The point of this long backstory is that I am hoping that if I get the bookshelf cleaned off enough, I can put the China dolls out and decide which ones to keep. I poked around online yesterday and found a store an hour drive into the city that might give me a few dollars for the ones I am ready to part with (this makes sense because 1 - it will make me feel like they will be handled carefully and go where they are wanted, and 2 - the store is only 15 minutes from a fancy grocery store I like to go to once or twice a year, so the hour drive would not be all invested in the doll store. In fact I would make a day of it, stopping a few places on the way in and then ending with the grocery store, because - perishables.) I am literally hoping the dolls will pay for the gas. But I would take anything they offered me.

I also found a doll collectors club that may or may not be meeting every month in a not too local, but again, I could make it a day trip library. So this week I will call the library and the store.

I am sorry this is so long. I do have to add one more thing. I reactivated my ebay account to buy that troll. And I have bought myself a couple of "rewards" as well. I will confess them when they show up. One is a doll though. It is one my grandmother gave me that I played with a lot - so much that he needs restringing. He has a whole wardrobe that she knitted and sewed. As best I could find, the cost of restringing was about 1/3 the value of the doll. I found his twin in excellent condition for about 1/2 the least they usually sell for online (even after shipping) because the seller got his name wrong and left out important key words. I was the only bid. That is my expensive (but affordable) reward. Now I have to let go of the one that needs restringing. The other rewards are coffee and donut level.

Good evening.

I talked to Dh today about the dolls.

I told him about the one I ordered instead of restringing. He was very supportive. He told me that if I find other things that I am upset about them being broken and have saved and can't fix by myself with easily available materials (ie, what we have here or by buying some kind of glue, paint, or screw) I should go ahead and replace them. As long as the original goes. So, today I found two more broken dolls. I decided that I actually don't mind that one is broken and it can go for parts, but the other is the grandfather of a play family. He has a permanently broken leg. So, I looked online. The grandfather is more rare and expensive than the dad. (I guess a lot of people just had the nuclear family - I was spoiled.) A replacement torso is more expensive than the dad. But the dad and the grandfather have the same body. And the heads pop off and on easily. So I bought a marked down dad with a really bad haircut but a good body. If the snow ever melts and the package comes, I will switch the heads and stick all the extra bits in the parts bag. (Which is going to either the doll store or the thrift store - there are multiple colleges and universities here. Doll parts at thrift stores get bought for art projects.)

I have been making piles of things that go different places as i work. The things that go in regular recycling or trash have been going all along, as have the things that go to school. But I have to make appointments at the offsite storage craft store and the thrift store is out of the way.

I figured I need to get rid of two bins a month to get everything off of the basement floor. Originally I was going to take the first two bins to the thrift store this week, but I stayed home. So now I am planning to take them on Sunday (in a week) if the weather is ok. Possibly sooner if the roads are clear and I feel like getting out.

Since I have also taken other things other places, that will be more than two bins in January, but it is already getting much harder. The first ten percent was the easiest.

That is really interesting about the dolls, SubC, I read all of both posts as it is fascinating. I am glad you have a collection that makes you happy, a dh who is supportive and reasonable, and a way to get rid of things you no longer want.

I had my speaking engagement, came home and crashed thinking FINALLY I can rest, then remembered I have a new event starting in the morning, and have to be there to set up by 8am. How did I forget this?

I need a break.

Lila, I'm sorry you are not getting the rest you need. I hope your event goes well.

I have been resting so much (and eating less because the cold makes things not taste good plus my tummy is full of tea) that I woke up this morning at 3 a.m. wide awake and hungry.

On the plus side, I built the fire back up before the room got cold.

Thank you for your kind words. I read once that the difference between a collector and a hoarder was that a collector cares for and displays and is proud of their objects, while a hoarder piles them up, hides them, allows them to get dirty and broken and is embarrassed. So, as I have 4 18 gallon bins of dolls and doll clothes that are not used or displayed (I gathered all the "stored" ones in one place yesterday), and two toy doll beds so full that I would not call the dolls "displayed" and everything is getting very dusty, and some is broken, I don't think it is a "collection" yet.

But I have hope?

Since we're snowbound here I'm working on my books. Sorting and going through looking to see what I can donate.
Let somebody else enjoy them.

I think I'm posting all over the board.
Trying to stay caught up on the posters find challenging as well.
I'll have to do it when I take a break.
Hope all is well in these cold cold weather

Good afternoon.

KeepingItReal, you can post wherever you want. This is the thread where we kind of chat about what we're doing and give each other general support. You do not have to keep up.

How are the books going?

I got down the boxes of framed pictures and art and picture frames. I moved two photos to an album (this involved calling my mom and crying again) and got rid of 20 empty picture frames, plus mats and folios. This created an empty box - one out of four.

One of the other boxes is framed things I want to hang somewhere in the house, one is deep frames I want to use to make shadow boxes, and one is empty 5*7 and 8*10 that I really like plus a couple of smaller ones. The first box is not full. The other two are full, but not stuffed.

I will now order the other three reindeer that I have been wanting to go with my tiny Christmas sleigh. (I have five reindeer. They got discontinued, but I found a place that still has them.) Dh tried to convince me that five reindeer are enough because the boys are happy with the reindeer. I told him that we ended up with 20 frames I don't actually want because they were really cheap and I spent $20-$25 on them seventy five cents to two dollars at a time over the years because I might need a frame and not be able to buy one. And I need to feel like I can buy what I want if it is reasonable. And I want to have 8 reindeer.

And he said "buy the reindeer."

This approach is going to wreck my no spend/low spend. Maybe I should change it to "mindful spend." I'm going to stay home from class tonight because I don't have the boys to drive home and it is too cold. That will save one reindeer worth of gas.

hi SubC and messi! I hope you are both warm and safe. SubC, I too imagine us together as a quiet group. A lovely thought that makes me feel not alone in my decluttering struggle over the years. And I also hope you feel better soon.

I have to work today, at least a few hours, but from home. But this morning I got some things done.

- vacuumed. I am 75% done. I realized something as I was doing this. Son who moved out has been the "vacuumer" for many years. I would just use a stick vac to do touch ups like getting balls of hair off the floor in between. Well, pushing that very heavy old vacuum around is exhausting. I did not do an "excellent" job, I am wiped out just from vacuuming the living room and hallway. Like totally drained. I still need to do the dining room and my bedroom but there is no way I can do the stairs today.

Question: do you think it is justified (is it ok?) for my to buy a new vacuum that is a lot lighter and more maneuverable at this point? I spent 2 days taking this old big vacuum apart, cleaning it, got a new hose for it for about $20, but yet it is leaving a lot of hair on the carpet even going over it several times. It weighs 21 pounds and does not have any swiveling or rotating so it is hard to turn. I was thinking about getting a new one, which would be a lot lighter and swivel and probably get the hair up better. Thoughts? I am only considering this because Son moved out and I have to vaccuum now.

I also took care of dishes, sorted and cleaned one kitchen drawer, brushed the dogs.

Good afternoon!

Lila I am so glad you are feeling better. And I am super excited by the idea of you having an entire empty bedroom! What will you do with it? Designate a purpose and carefully add only those things related to the purpose? Use it as a sorting room so that you can get through every single item in your bedroom and then maybe the little bedroom that has become a storage room? Leave it empty and just go in there are close the door when you are overwhelmed? So many choices..

If it were me, I might start by cleaning every single surface and painting if needed. Well, I wouldn't paint if it was going to be my sorting room..

I have finished my evaluations!

Next hurdle - quarterly sales taxes.

Dh and I are going out again tonight, but I am thinking about working in the basement for a bit before I need to get ready. I started a load of laundry.

New thing on my plate - yesterday the seniors asked me to speak at graduation. They always choose two teachers. I have never been asked before, although once I was asked before the nomination process and said "thank you, I love that you would choose me, but also I am not a person who voluntarily speaks to large groups."

This time I said "I am deeply honored to be asked, but also terrified. Can I have some time to think about it?" But the more I thought about it, the more I thought about all the times I have asked these kids to do hard things. So I sent a note accepting. Now I have 4.5 months to write a three minute speech. (I asked Dh what he thought I should talk about, and he said "three minutes." Smart Alec!)

Anyway, I'm currently enjoying the lower stress of having the evaluations done. We'll see where I go from here.

Good evening.

I did my homework for class tomorrow.

I met Dd at the pottery studio and she brought me some empty bins and some packing material for my pottery classes. I took her a bulletin board. I also found three things in my basement to give my farm sitter.

On my way home from class I stopped at the thrift store. I bought three new pairs of jeans (which I needed!) For a bit over $7.50 each after tax. There will be some well worn jeans going out. I also bought a cashmere sweater duster. It was so soft, I couldn't leave it. It came out under $6 after tax (my whole bill was 28.85) the duster had a run from the shoulder down the back, which I have already fixed with a crochet hook and a piece of anchoring thread. I modeled it for Dh and he really liked it. He said "you realize that is probably a $300 sweater?" I don't understand people who would just donate something so nice when it is so easy to fix. But I am happy!

The jeans are washed and in the drier. I need to do chores and set up coffee and will probably just putter around this evening. We had frozen egg rolls for dinner.

Tomorrow is a boy day.

Good evening.

It has been a long, hard day. I did not do a lot of the things I planned to do that were fun. Or prep for school tomorrow.

But I kept the fires going (low of 7 today, but cozy in the house.) I did a load of dishes, I washed my new cardigan, And I made progress on the house and on me.

I sorted out some office supplies - slow and tedious. A little recycling, a small pile for donation to the reuse store, some things to go to school, a handful of trash, like with like.

And I opened a cupboard. There were things in the cupboard I forgot I had. It was a cupboard of stomach aches. I cried. I called my mom. I cried some more. And tonight my Dd left with a box of fancy things that I got for wedding gifts and basically never used. And never wanted. But they were "valuable", and the people who gave them to me loved me and wanted me to be happy. I moved those things around with me and felt responsible for them for 35 years. And now those people are all gone. And I miss them. Dd is taking the things to a place that will sell them and use the money to help people with cancer.

Dh said "all those things ever did was make you sad." And I said I know. And I am sad because the people who gave them to me wanted me to be happy. So they gave me things that made me sad, because they thought they would make me happy. Which makes me sad. He told me I don't make any sense, but he is glad the things are gone because they won't make me sad any more.

Also I have some other things to go to the thrift store. I will go update the tally again.

Good morning.
It is getting lonely here.

I made it through yesterday.

Classes went fine, I dropped a bag of garbage when I got gasoline, removed some random bits and pieces from my house. I fired the kiln, but I didn't swim, or even do yoga.

I have been letting all of my good habits slide this week. I feel like I can manage my stuff, or I can manage my life, but not both.

That is part of the reason I really want to buckle down and finish the basement this year. But I feel like it just gets harder the deeper I go. When I started - only three weeks ago?! I figured that if I could get rid of one bin of stuff each month, everything would at least fit without piles on the floor. Now I'm realizing it's more like two bins a month - net, the net is important, and I cannot imagine how I am going to do this.

One of the things I got rid of on my crying day was a thing a relative made. My mom told me to just give it away and I said "I feel bad, because she put so much work into it. And my mom said "I know, I have this other thing that she made that I don't even use anymore"(big memory from my childhood) I said "I WANT that!" I'll trade you this for it. She told me a part was worn out, and I said "I can fix it." (I can) She wouldn't take the trade, but I will be getting the thing. It's a Christmas thing. I'm not counting it in until I bring it home.

Today I need to do work for my class I am taking and file sales tax and water my plants before they die and order my seeds or I will have no garden.

I have not done any of those things yet.
And we are supposed to get a ton of snow this weekend, so if i don't go down to the studio to do work I won't be ready for class on Monday (I need equipment that is down there.)

But I do not want to drive anywhere.

I brought a plastic three drawer (5 gallons?)container full of random little stuff upstairs and sat in the sun and worked on sorting it out for four hours. I was very brave and recycled and threw away things that I "might use for crafts" or "might be able to fix". I was not brave enough to dump the whole drawer in a trash bag. I put a bunch of little toys and magnets and kid jewelry in a gallon bag to donate (think gumball machine)

I didn't finish one of the smaller drawers (about a gallon of little stuff?) I just couldn't do it any longer.

I also put some stuff in a box to take to school, and added a few things to my donate pile.

Most of what is going is too small to count, but i am giving myself credit for 9 including one hard thing I threw in the trash.

SubC!! You are here all by yourself, all week! I am sorry I could not check in. I thought about you, believe it or not.

The cabinet of stomach aches, ahhh! That is sooo hard, I have spaces full of stomach aches too and it is the hardest thing. And it was touching to hear about the gifts you dragged around for years that made you sad. I am going to remember that as I sort my own stomach aches. God bless you SubC, it is hard.

May I encourage you about your speech? I am happy that you accepted the challenge. We all need to stretch a bit, don't we? I am also NOT a public speaker, in fact, the first time my work (then volunteer) asked me to get up in front of people and speak for like 2 minutes, I said yes but was stressed out and upset and regretting it right up until I did it, and then I was proud of myself. Fast forward, let's see, it's been maybe 7 years - and tomorrow I am speaking for 25 minutes. And this week I taught my boss' class (!!!!!! I could not believe he asked me to do that with 6 days notice, from scratch, no lesson plan, just a topic!) and 'lectured' for 45 minutes, my own notes and handouts, all research done by me. It was a real stretch but I really am proud of myself for doing it and helping him out, as he was going to be gone and did not have time to write up a lesson plan, and he said I was the only person he knows who could do it from scratch on such short notice and do a good job. Still somewhat out of my comfort zone, but doing things out of our comfort zone makes us stronger, even in other areas.

So I worked (including a lot of volunteer) 50-55 hours this week.

As for the newly empty bedroom (yes, Son is moved out, I gave him all the furniture, the only thing he left is the queen mattress and box springs), it is empty, which makes me a strange mix of happy and sad. I had plans for it. But, TotsDad came to talk to me the other day. He and dil and their five kids are all sleeping in one room. It is insanely loud and chaotic at night trying to get them all to sleep - it takes hours. He asked me if there is any way he could put bunk beds in there for the oldest 2, to give the kids space from each other so they can go to sleep easier. He said he would just want one end for the beds, nothing else. I thought about this, it is a long narrow room, but if I put any of my things in there, the kids will get into them.

So I proposed this. You can have the whole room, IF you move anything that is yours out of my office downstairs (which is just storage and exercise stuff) AND use one side of the room to store some of YOUR things that are currently making the garage completely a wreck (I literally cannot access ANY of my things in there and there is not room for me to move a single item into there). He agreed and will get rid of a large piece of furniture in the garage he doesn't want anymore, will move a lot of tubs of his stuff from the garage to the new bedroom, until I am satified that I can access ALL of my own things in the garage AND I have the office for my own use.

This is a win win, I think. We will both be happy when it is done (I think dil has hoarder tendencies as the garage has literal totes full of shoes, clothes, etc that no one has touched in almost 2 years).

Back later to check in!