hi Tatoulia! I just read through your posts and am hoping your mammogram and medical stuff all came back clear. I hate having to go back for a second look. It sounds like you are doing good. I like the idea of using something for an occasion and then donating it back. Why hadn't I thought of that??

I also think it is very cool you got rid of the stuffed animals etc. I need to do that too. I don't know why we hold onto all this stuff. My kids would just throw it all out if I saved it til I died!

The addicts in the garage situation sounds unnerving. Do you live in a big city? I have always lived in the country until I moved here (Washington state) and now live in a suburb. I would freak out if anyone was in my garage! Stay safe.

Going back to read others' posts.

Hello everyone!

I went to mom, found her glasses, did a load of he4 laundry, and I mounted her ironing boarD with the new hooks I bought. I'm now back home and doing a quick load of my own laundry. I don't like doing too much laundry because then I cannot stop and then the day is lost. I took out about half of my recycling.

I do small loads. I like my things properly sorted by color and weight. Time consuming but worth it.

I have to do mom's groceries then a few of my own and visit BF.

What are you doing today?

Quick check in. Got my flu shot last night. Became extremely tired around 5 PM tonight and went to bed. Now up just in time to go back to bed.

I have so much recycling to take out tmr. Yes we gain an hour but the loss of sunshine will be brutal.

That does sound miserable, SubC. First you're worried about your barn space and second, us8ng a hose to wash off stuff in the cold? Absolutely miserable. I'm so sorry.

We are waiting to hear back about the schedule, but the guy said they were looking for work right now, so I anticipate it being soon.

90% of the things in the garage will not be hard to relocate. He will want to put the outdoor furniture and storage shelving in the studio barn, but I am going to insist on his empty space in the new basement area. He can suffer through that for the "only a few days" he promised this would take.

But the other 10% is stuff that is there because I need to wash it. In the yard. With the hose. Before I put it away where it should be. And I ignored it all fall. And now it is cold. Maybe 4 hours of work? It's just cold.

SubC, how much stuff is in the garage? What types of things are in there? I can understand the anxiety caused by suddenly having a deadline. When is the work supposed to start?

The students grow up so fast! It's very sweet to hear of your attachment to them. I am sure they care about you and that you are making an impact in their lives.

Tatoulia, I have to gloss over that right now, but I am glad you have weight lifted from you.

Dh accepted a bid to replace our crumbling garage floor. Which means that soon I will have a hard deadline to empty the garage. And it is cold.

My inlaws arrive tomorrow and don't leave until Monday morning.

Yesterday a much loved former student who is not in my classes this year told me he is a senior, not a junior as I believed. Which means he will never be in my class again. I am sad about that.

I am, however, really happy about the new round of vaccines! I hope a lot of my kids will get vaccinated. I have decided that in January (after break) I am going to stop interrupting class to remind people to cover their noses.

Checking in after a long day followed by a long nap. I need to shower and get the dishwasher running. The cleaners were here today but I was in meetings from morning to night so I never saw them. They were just a blur.

Hope everyone is doing okay! BF has convinced me to keep my dinosaur costume but honestly I don't know where to put it. I'm so picky now. I may just put in the trunk of my car.

WHICH REMINDS ME I did something very hard and long overdue on Tuesday. I have two bins in front of my garage parking stuff. Stuffed animals from childhood (some must've belonged to my siblings) as well as clothes that belonged to my mother. I threw everything out with the exception of two of mom's dresses and one pantsuit. I also grabbed my sister's Stieff owl and I'll send it to her. I didn't check the rest. It was time. And so they are gone. I did it fast and quick and with no real thought. I had to do it. This is all from when I got rid of my storage space in Nov 2014. And so I got through the stuff in about five minutes and called it a day. Had to be done. There are addicts now hanging in my garage and someone had opened one of the bins. I had noticed some drug paraphernalia by my car one day. Someone keeps breaking the garage door and then anyone can just start to hang there. Sometimes the people breaking the door are people looking to park in the empty places.

I only go to my car during the day and it is next to BF's office so I feel safe. Anyway, I did it and it is done.

Good morning!

Tatoulia, those of us who know you knew exactly what you meant, but I suppose it is good to clarify for the newer people just in case.

Good job resisting the plates and bowls. I'm glad the disposal replacement went well and I hope all your test results come back good.

I have nothing to report, but I am cheering everyone on.

Meaning I use the trays, then donate back to goodwill. I don't return them in the sense of I get my dollar back.

HelloM

Mammogram and blood work done. Hopefully that's the end of it and no need for ultrasound. Walked there and back which made for good exercise. BF met me on my walk home and we ran to the Whole Foods. I just made a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

I'm going to try to do some laundry now. I did a quick load this AM and still have piles to go. I didn't want to get too entrenched in laundry today. Cleaners come tomorrow.

So I returned the lampshades and I also went to good will to look around. I bought two things. One is a picture frame that is very nice and made of pewter. Lovely. I am not a picture person and have only one picture in my home. But I do have a some small pieces of art that I can put in it. I also bought a small glass tray. The thing about the small trays is that I use them and then when. I am done with them, I return them. This one will be very nice at Christmas time.

There is a bit of a victory here. I also had two plates and two bowls, and by the time I wound my way through the check out lines I was over the two plates and bowls and apologized to the cashier. So that worked out.

Big election in Boston today. Wish I had worked the polls but it didn't happen.

Road, how are you feeling today? I know the booster threw you for a loop and may have contributed to the overwhelming anxiety. I hope your son is feeling more like himself, too.

I can't remember if I posted yesterday. Having the disposal replaced brought no anxiety. Not before, not after. I like this company. They put on booties over their shoes and wear masks. They do their job and leave. It was a positive experience all around and just now I realize I had no stress leading up to the service visit. Very nice.

I took today off to Power Up The Polls but I wasn't called to volunteer. So I called the hospital yesterday and scheduled my mammogram for today at 3:30. I didn't get mine last year due to pandemic and there's a bit of a troublesome spot so let's see what happens. I am not nervous at all. I am also late for blood work. Pre pandemic I had blood work every two weeks. I had blood work March 2020 and once this year. So I'll have everything checked today.

I purchased new lampshades for the lamps I moved into the bedroom. I bought one set at Home Depot and one at Target. The target ones were the keepers so I'll go to Home Depot before hospital. I might also drop by Goodwill. Just to look around. Right now I'm doing a quick load of laundry. But I don't want my day to be mired in laundry.

I've been making lists recently and that has changed how much I get done. I use the notes app in my phone and iPad. And I check them off. I'm shocked at how much better I feel as a result.

Good morning.

Lila, normally I would not focus on the weight, but the comment about your doctor makes me feel like maybe I should try in case I can be useful. I am assuming that losing the weight is important to YOU for your health.

So, to begin - what worked last time? And can you do it again? Can you become more mindful of your eating and moving habits? You have already identified fast food as a concern - what can you do to help yourself eat healthy food made at home? What are the stumbling blocks? Can we help you?

Now, the size 12s - the size 12s have to go. Sell them if you can, and put the money aside for future clothing needs, but they are just taking up space and probably making you feel bad. Forget them. You aren't supposed to be a size 12. You are probably a very attractive and healthy size 14.

You can ignore this, but I am curious - were you raised in a tradition that doesn't celebrate Halloween?

Also, Road made me wonder - would locks on cabinets be better than bins in your room?

Had a great day with Bean yesterday.

Today school. Must do lesson plans and some housework. Invasion of the inlaws on Friday. So tired.

Lila, this is hard work. I have a bit of a tear in my eye. You are amazing. Glad to have you as a friend. Sending you much love. You are doing the tough stuff. And yes, send to his father if you must.

I know I am posting a lot... I need it to keep going with the declutter!

So I texted my son and he did not respond yet. But I went through my 2 drawers and huge pile in a cabinet and sorted out all his sport and elementary school pictures, took one out for me to keep and put the rest in a tub to prepare to mail in a box later. I also went through the photos of him with his siblings and took one or two out of each to send to him as well. I have one big heavy album that is just his (I did one for each kid and one family album). I still need to go through his 'special' box but will do that soon. I have a cardboard box for each of my children from when they were babies. In the box is everything from their hospital wristband and card, to their footprints, to their very first scribbles and drawings and special art of essays through their school years. It is a lot of stuff in a small box, per kid. I plan to go through (probably cry), maybe save one or two things, take pics of anything special, throw out some and mail him the rest.

This is HARD but I need to do it. It is stupid to save all this stuff when my son is an adult with a family and a house. If I died it would probably never get to him. I want my affairs in order. I want him to have photos from his childhood. I don't just want someone going through my piles and piles of junk and not noticing there are important things and just throwing it all away. So I better deal with it while I can, right?

SubC, good job on the SMALL souvenirs! That is hard for me. I will try and get the foundation laid for mailing the pictures etc to my son. We have a rocky, strained relationship for several reasons. He has autism (as does my youngest) but he is a genius. We can go months and never talk (he lives across the country) and sometimes I call and he is gruff and distant, other times very talkative and happy. I called him yesterday and he was cheery. Now I need to call or text again and ask for his new address. He moved this year and for some reason is very weird/stingy about giving info out. I know it makes no sense. I hope if I tell him I am sending some things he will be glad. If he says to just throw it all away I won't know what to do. Well, no sense getting ahead of myself... if I can get the address, I will send him the photos. I decided to send in two boxes, so that if one is lost, not everything is gone. I'll just split things up evenly so that even one box would have memories from most years of his childhood.

If he doesn't give me the address, I could mail them to his dad's house. He lives maybe an hour away and will probably see him over the holidays.

Roads,

Thank you for sharing about your son. There is something chaotic about having a child who is not always emotionally stable. I went through it with my oldest and now with my youngest (girl). She went all summer without a huge blowup and it was so nice that I let my guard down and started leaving some fragile items out. Then she blew up and started throwing things and knocking things down, so I had to go back and gather all the glass etc and put them back into boxes in my room. I HATE having boxes of fragile things in my bedroom. I trip over them. I put the actual dishes in a tub in the garage but there are irregular shaped mugs, pyrex etc that don't stack, in cardboard boxes in my room and I really hate it as it reminds me every day of my child's explosiveness and the pain it causes. There are kitchen knives in there too.

Thinking about going in my room and trying to consolidate a few things and maybe fine more to donate. I have two bookshelves in there. I may take a look and see if any can be donated, to make room for those tubs of books I have in there.

I am learning from you all, to not try and read every reply and then post. I forget what I want to say! So I've read some of the posts and am answering.

Tatoulia, it sounds like a pretty nice Halloween. And so cute about the dino costume! I have not ever dressed in a costume, that I can recall. Even as a child I was not allowed. But I did get to take my grandd to a party and she was dressed up and cute! So fun. And exhausting - as I am an introvert. I have spent today so far sitting on the couch watching tv. I am drinking coffee now and hope coming here plus caffeine will move me to get some more decluttering done.

Road, I so appreciate all your sharing. I too wish we all lived near each other. Wouldn't it be lovely if we could help each other? Hang out and talk in person? Cheer on the decluttering. This board is very helpful to me. I come when I am stuck, and I get moved into action even just a little bit.

Let me talk about the problem with clothing a little bit. It's a long standing problem so any feedback is welcome.
I hate to admit this but I have gained and lost 100 pounds twice and am now on the gaining end (up about 70). The first time I lost the weight, I got rid of everything too big as soon as I shrunk out of those sizes. I bought all new cuter clothes. I was at my low weight for about a year and then regained. As I regained, I had absolutely nothing to wear!! I had to get donated stuff, shop thrift stores, and buy new... which was humiliating and our finances were going down too. When I lost the weight a second time I was terrified to get rid of the too big clothes but I did it.

So all the smaller sized items are fairly new (I did this gain/lose 100 pounds twice in the past 7 years). When I started to gain this time it was slower but I hung and boxed all the newish smaller clothes. I had to again re-buy bigger sizes and this time it was a real burden. We had very little free income. But I needed clothes.

So now I have clothing that is almost all relatively new, in sizes from women's Medium tops/14 jeans (some 12's were goal pants) all the way to my current XL and 1X tops and 20W pants. The sweaters fit a long time even as I lose weight so I tend to hang onto those longer. The smaller sizes are in two rubbermaid tubs in the family room (these are the ones I recently sorted as there were 3 or 4 tubs). Then, in my bedroom I have:

closet: one side is currently fitting and one size too small; the other side is sentimental items too small but I won't get rid of - there are only 8 or so of these items.

Tub under the bed: summer clothes that fit or are one size too small.

Big dresser: pajamas too small and some other clothes too small, but all within 25 pounds or so. I did donate a few things out of there this time around.

3 tall dressers: bras and underwear that are 1 - 2 sizes too small. Jeans size 16 through 20. Brand new leggings in current and one size down. Socks and underwear that fit. Dress pants. Shapewear in current size and one size down. Current pajamas (I did donate a few items out of here also this time around). Sweaters that fit and one size too small.

What I don't get is that I generally wear the same things every week. I have one pair of jeans that fits well and I just keep washing/wearing, waiting to lose 10 pounds so the next ones fit. I wear the same 2 shirts 90% of the time at home, and the same 3 shirts if I go out. All the rest is waiting for me to lose weight. Which my doctor says I must do... and I can't get rid of smaller clothes since this time I have no money to buy anything new.

Sigh.

Good afternoon merry sunshine. 😉

Way to go on purging sick's and underwear!

I am sad for those who are in dysfunctional relationships. I always hope they can be fixed, or that if they are not fixable, people can move on. Life is too short to spend it making yourself or someone else miserable.

My living room is trashed. 🙂

Bean is napping.

I had 20 minutes warning that the basement seal guys were coming this morning. I shoved everything out of the way. They are done now, but they said to keep children and pets out of the basement for 24 hours. I do not feel good about that. My pantry is down there. Also, since they just sealed the basement - isn't it going to be venting up through the house?

Ok I have no spare time, so I need to go use this nap to do something useful.

Good Monday morning and Happy November! If I sound cheerful I'm faking it.

SubC - so glad you got a get away. We're you on the Wisconsin side or the michigan side? I'll bet the trees were beautiful.

I ended up getting zonked from the booster shot. Totally fine first 24 hours and then kind of low grade fluish from Thursday evening through last night, so maybe it's something else. My son got his on Friday and wanted to stay home today which isn't typical so he's not feeling right either. But then again he was kind of out of it since last weds. He was telling me some stuff the other night that really spooked me - saying he was sick, die, like Eric, sign for "same" Eric, who is my brother in law who died last year... He has really limited language but has had some psychic experiences over the years and so it's nerve wracking. We never got in to see the neurologist after he had his seizure over the summer and now I'm convinced he has a brain tumor. The medical stuff is my most substantial category of dysfunction. I've just been lucky that he's had relatively few health issues. But when he does it's a challenge. I have a ton of health problems I can never get to the bottom of, partly because drs suck and partly because I suck. My friend was on her way over to help schedule the neurology appt. when she fell and dislocated her shoulder. I had to ask the H to help me last night which he said he would but I will pay for it (in toxic relationship currency)... send me good juju to get this done so I can get this kid's brain evaluated properly.

Ack! I'm totally freaked out now. Overwhelmed.

Ok I'm changing the topic Now. I went through all the laundry, tossed some undies and socks. Anything that has a hole or looks stretched out or is ugly, gets tossed. I still probably have 5 loads worth of laundry that is still lurking under my bed or in the basement, but enough of it is back in circulation to start to get a sense for what I have and what I need. I have at least 2 dozen undies, probably 3. I have at least 3 dozen pr. Socks, probably 4. This is particularly ridiculous because I only wear socks nov-feb. I guess I have about 8 pr shorts which is plenty but they're all falling apart at the same time. I've been shopping for replacements but no luck. Jeans... I have about 5 ? Defn need a few more. I have tons of tee shirts ( I mainly wear jeans or shorts, tees and sandals.) but they are stacking up on the Too-worn-out side of the scale now too. I'm pretty cheap so the way I've been buying is clearance racks at kohl's and target and thrift shops. But I no longer frequent thrift shops for obvious reasons. Clothing is not a hoarding category for me. Sometimes the mess gets so out of control that I lose track of things but I have no emotional baggage with clothes. Well, I have emotional baggage with some of my sons old clothes, but not with mine. Had to qualify that one.

My son finally woke up and he was fairly cheerful so i feel better now.

Over the weekend we went to my parents place for dinner. My son and husband and bro went to see a college fb game and then came over for dinner. I went early so I could go over some genealogy stuff with them. I gave them each some stuff to review and took back what they were finished with and gave them the next batch to review. My dad was a jerk a couple times. One of the issues was with the food delivery and plating things up. I think what happens is he gets nervous for some reason but isn't self aware enough to realize he's feeling anxious, and then he just starts spinning out on everyone. But mostly my mom. He wanted to make sure the food was hot so he was going to microwave everything after it arrived. I asked him not to do the chicken or the salmon (cause it would screw up the texture and overcook it) but naturally he did not hear any of that. He has a problem with boundaries. I think his only gauge for food is how temperature hot it is. He doesn't seem to register other aspects of a meal's quality which is curious.

They actually asked me to host thanksgiving which I was kind of planning on but we hadnt discussed. We don't have a working oven so that makes turkey challenging but they suggested they bring a ham and pies, and the rest of us can divvy up the rest which makes it very manageable. I am chuckling thinking how my dad is going to handle Having a small microwave or toaster oven to reheat the ham... I better start getting organized... gotta finish cleaning out that fridge I guess!

Update on my sisters crew... at least three kids in that classroom got it. I don't think the classroom was ever closed down. How they ever got a sub to come in and cover a room with a COVID outbreak is beyond me. Unless they lied. They probably lied. Also just heard that one of the other staff had just come home from taking care of her parents who had COVID. There is a protocol for how to act after you've been exposed but she blew that right off and proceeded to cause an outbreak. Is there going to be any disciplinary action taken? No cause the school will try to keep it quiet. Will there be any criminal action taken? No, but there friggin should be. Endangering all those people and their families and all those kids with medical issues. Omg. What is wrong with people.

Well anyhoo. I managed to end my lengthy post in a fit of fury!

Hate to leave it there but I actually have to run. I will come back. Later and try to be Susie sunshine again.

Good morning!

Somehow it became November.

I was on vacation all weekend with my kids and Bean. We went to a beach house by Lake Michigan and it was cold but delightful. The drive was very long. Mr. Kitty is glad we are home.

Lila, I support mailing the pictures. I would send them insured - I realize you can't replace them with money, but I think the p.o. is more careful with insured mail.

Tatoulua, I hope your computer works out well.

I think I would love being a dinosaur and handing out candy.

I am not journaling as much as I would like, but I am working on it.

Road, good job on the laundry! It must be very difficult to live with rooms locked up like that.

We have a possible frost overnight tonight, and an almost certain one tomorrow night, so Bean and I will need to pick all the things from the garden today. I have a couple I want to try to pot up and bring inside as well.

I brought souvenirs home from vacation - a sticker for finishing a hike (not sure where I plan to stick it) and a few little rocks that I plan to put in my fountain - the fountain is from my grandparents' beach house and my cousin and I used to put pretty shells we found in it. I split the shells with my cousin, so there is room.

Lila, that will teach me to try to respond to posts before having read the very latest... you've leap frogged right on over the pond. Nicely done. And fwiw, yes, hearing about your exes and the empty space and emptiness ... of course it's related. 100%. And the acquisition is the depressed brain chemistry demanding dopamine and all those other good things. When you boil it all down it's pretty simple I guess. Or simple explaining it... fixing the causes and digging out is more complicated at least for me. You seem pretty good at taking action though... I'd say you have some pretty useful skills. I zoned in on what you said about your son breaking things... My son has Down syndrome and goes through phases where he's very destructive. It's probably been more of a challenge dealing with the ocd tendencies and compulsively moving things around the house in the rooms where I've tried to maintain order... e.g., the bamboo kitchen utensils got relocated to the bathroom drawers, the lamps must go on top of an antique book as a coaster, and all the meticulously organized binders mom works so hard to establish must be disemboweled on a regular basis... These "quirks" eventually led to basement, bathroom closet, master, and guest bedroom/office (my room) being locked with luggage combo locks. I can't blame my hoarding on him but his behaviors definitely increase the chaos... and my internal chaos increases his internal chaos etc etc. so anyway... all this to say I. Hear you mama.

P.s. Tatoulia, the image of you in the dinosaur costume made me very happy.

P.p.s. ? I just got my laundry. It was a whole unpleasant exchange with the H which I didn't appreciate but will spare you all. But anyway, I got the laundry.

Hi all,

I am almost caught up but not quite.

I've been spinning and busy and realized I haven't checked in for a few days and after reading the posts also realize how much it helps to check in more often.

Lila, so much of what you describe is exactly what I have experienced and other stuff is still what I'm actively dealing with. I had seen a lot of great recommendations for the book "buried in treasures" so I bought it awhile ago. It's a workbook format and very flexible. You can read any chapter and it will sound familiar to you ? it has helped me so much. You were asking "why" about some things and this really helps you understand the whys ? and once you understand why, you see things differently. Like how there might be multiple pieces of furniture you'll eventually only want one of ? and right now all the multiples are full of things, and you had plans to acquire more. I'm at the stage where I've pretty much stopped acquiring too much stuff but because I've been living like this for a long time I'm still used to seeing certain things too crowded... like the fridge. So I've played around with only using certain shelves, etc. to try to train my brain to see something different as "enough." As Tatoulia said, it's building muscle. A few months ago we had some discussion about "guarding your space" as in when you clear something out the tendency is going to be to fill it again and the challenge is to hold on to the space. I was really at a low point when I found this group and with a lot of help and wisdom from these women managed to get the worst of the mess cleaned up and have gradually been dealing with clearing the excess stuff out of my room and in the process getting used to the open/empty areas again. It's still crammed by any one else's standards, but compared to what it was it's a huge improvement.

One specific practical example of deciding what stays in your bedroom vs. what goes is only keeping clothes that currently fit, that are in season, that you would not hesitate to wear, that you can wear right now as-is with no repairs. All else is a good candidate for storage bin within the bedroom if not removal. You can keep the donate/toss/sell sorting a separate project if it helps you make a path to the closet. You can also target things that don't go in a bedroom like anything hardware or food-related. Or if it's a potential project (like the frames). Maybe you read in bed or have boxes of books in there - you could decide how many you would like to have on the night stand - like 3 or 8? It's up to you - and everything else gets boxed up for another book sorting day? If there's no where to move the bins to right now and they have to stay in the bedroom, maybe they could be lined up along one wall? I wish I could come over there and help you and someone could come here and do the same for me in my room. 😏😆

SubC, was just reading through some of your posts. I am glad you are journaling again! And great job double spacing your accomplishments!

Today I went to visit my friends in my dinosaur costume. Then I went to boyfriend's and handed out candy in my dinosaur costume. I became fairly comfortable in it. I may try to wash it and see if I can donate it. I was surprised how happy I was in it and not self conscious at all.

Now I'm home and showered. I will need to clean out underneath my kitchen sink so I am prepared for the installation of the new disposal.

I've done quite a bit this weekend. I did stop at the grocery store in my way home from being a dinosaur and bought what I needed. I left some of it in the cat and BF will drive it down to me, too heavy to carry. And I carried a lot of heavy groceries for my mother yesterday.

I hope I can get my new laptop to work tomorrow. The screen is pretty small, I may have to bite the bullet and have the company send me a monitor. I don't want one but I'm not sure I'll be able to see this monitor. I've only sued the computer at the office so far. (I got it on Thursday)

So I'll go clear out under my kitchen sink. It's pretty organized since my friend did it when she was here and only my cleaners go in there. So it should be pretty okay.

Wow! Lila, sending the photos to your son sounds like a marvelous idea! Yes! Mail them unless you'll see him at the holidays and you can give them to him. If you have an extra duffel bag, you could put them in the duffel bag and he'll be ready for the plane!

Great thought process!

Thanks SubC. How is your day going?

I had to go out this morning and I did not have to dig through piles to find clothes to wear. That was nice.

I have a couple of bulky items that I want to try and sell. Generally I don't mind giving things away but these are worth more $$$, so that is something I need to try and do.

Last night in bed, I had the though to mail albums, photos, and other things I've held onto to my eldest son who lives across the country. This is the first time I ever thought I might want to give those to him. I am very obsessive about photos and have a big box of things from when he was a child. Suddenly I am thinking, I could clear up some space if I mailed him the big album, some things from that box (and take pics/toss the rest) and also his school and sports photos. It would free up a lot of space, really... all those photos in the cardboard holders. My only hesitation is that they could get lost in the mail. Hmmm. But I do feel ready.

Lila, that is an amazing amount of progress!

Things were hung, things were sorted, items were chosen to leave, so many many decisions made! And you have a path! You should be incredibly proud of yourself!

part 3: tiny bits of progress.

Today I made a path to the closet. I tried to sort it and found one shirt to donate. I hung up a pile of shirts that was on the other side of the room.

I went through a few dresser drawers and donated 2 items. I hung up a few more things. I donated one towel I found with holes in it.

I put two tubs on the bed and labelled one special and one plain. I picked up books from all over the room, in boxes, in piles, in tubs and I sorted them into those two boxes. I also donated about 3 books and put a stack of 5 by my bed to read. I have 3 that were loaned to me that I will return.

This was not a lot of movement, but it was exhausting.

I did not finish reading everyone's posts today. I did get a bunch of stuff done including working on mom's house and doing her grocery shopping.

Interesting insight on empty space, Lila. Just don't confuse empty space with emptiness. Live with my suggestion a bit then reject or modify or embrace as you see fit. I am on your side.

Speaking of hoarders, when my friend was cleaning out my closets, at one point I said this is where I have to go talk to Dr Robin Zazio.

Processing suggestions, part 2:
H Tatoulia! Good to see you. Thank you for taking the time to help me.
When you mentioned getting rid of a nightstand I almost audibly gasped. omg how could I? But then I thought about how on the Hoaders shows the psych suggests things and the person is super resistant and they have to work through it. What feelings come up: an empty space in the bedroom. I don't want an empty space in the bedroom. And then my thoughts are filled with the people I have shared the bedroom with: an exhusband, and a beloved dear to me exboyfriend, and the current husband who no longer sleeps there and does not share the room with me now. The first two have passed away. All 3 of those men, the memories of them being in the bedroom are of better times, times I was not alone. And when I think of them not being there, I am filled with grief. Could it be that this is part of why I do not want ANY empty space in my bedroom? I can't stand the void? I don't want to be alone?

Thank you for prompting this. I will think about it while I am working on my room today. But I am shocked I never noticed how terribly sad and anxious 'empty space in my room' makes me. I might have to have a good cry in there as I clear space.

Hello friends. I have today truly "off" so I am home and have sat on the couch watching tv and drinking coffee all morning. But it is almost 12:30 so I know I want to use some of my time wisely, to clean and organize and maybe to read a book or something.

Processing suggestions:
SubC, thank you. Yes, the inflow is better. But when you asked that I realized I am now, instead of spending money on new stuff, am spending it on fast food and takeout. I have gotten in a terrible habit of doing that almost daily when I can't afford it. This is resulted in weight gain and lost money. I need to stop that. Funny thing, I was JUST yesterday making plans to go out clothes shopping next week, AND making plans to go buy some more dog food, toys, and treats. Now you asked and it stops me in my tracks - what is going on with this?? The two things I have way way too much of and instead of organizing, urging, or using it, I am thinking about buying more!! And I have no where to put it! Do any of you have experience with this? At least now it is in my conscious awareness and I will NOT buy more of those things... but I still feel driven to and not sure why.

The clothes in my closet... 90% of them have not been worn in a couple years since I gained weight. I had a hysterectomy and then an injury so in the last 2 years I gained weight and can't wear any of those clothes. I also have bins of clothes downstairs that are too small - I did sort them and donated some to consolidate this month. But what I am wearing are clothes in the drawers and clothes draped and piled over the rocking chair. Can't get to the closet to hang them up. Maybe that should be goal 1? Path to the closet? Path to the dressers? And yes... donate more of the clothes. So hard for me, but I will try today.

I have been in my house 25 years with all the art in boxes. Good lord. I don't know what is wrong with me. I will try.