Books,

First of all, I have had a lot of books damaged in storage, that made it much easier because all they were good for was to be thrown away or recycled as paper.

Other things I would look at and ask questions. Does this generally duplicate something else I have. Which one do I like best? Are the perspectives different enough I need them both. Am I keeping this because of me, or someone else?
For example, I had a book about an adventure in the life of a quite famous american scientist. I recently disposed of it after realizing that I have had the book at least 5 years, it has been in 2 or 3 different locations and I've not read it, AND the primary reason I was keeping it was because an acquaintance liked this scientist. Are the ideas in this book something I really really want to read about in the next 2-3 years? and so-on. That process at least got a start on cleaning out undamaged books for me.

Jess,

I have had trouble with checking locks too. Not so much lately, but the problem still lurks. A comment about something I tried for awhile, the main problem for me was remembering to do it:

I would make it a point to lock the door and then stop and pretend I was a camera, blinking my eyes shut and then open again, taking a picture of the locked door. Then when I was 5 blocks (including one stop light) away, needing to go back and check if the door was locked, I could remember-no I locked it, I took a picture.

Basically trying to do something that would make the action compelling checking, memorable.

I need a way to get that started now for remembering to deliberately note the location of my vehicle in the store's parking lot.

You're right, accountability is a good thing. And I certainly have never seen anyone around here be rude or unkind. I'm usually a come and go-er because I find it very difficult to stick to anything long term so I think it would do me some good to shoot for the 21 days.

Day one!

I have to work in a couple hours so I don't have time to do anything too major. I really would like to go through the bookcase in the living room and pick about half to go to donation. Basically, I have a box of books in my bedroom that I want to incorporate on that bookcase so that the box will be gone. To do this I'd need to choose only the ones I really want to keep.

Every day I am also trying to stay mindful of my compulsions and making an effort to delay them. In my OCD book it teaches how to make a new neuro pathway over time, much like the way to forge a new normal behavior over 21 days. Last night I only checked the door to see if it was locked twice. Might not seem like much but to only check twice and then get to sleep soundly is wonderful. It may not always be easy but if this is the payoff, living more comfortably and having some peace, I'm happy to do the work.

Good luck today everyone! I'm in your corner!

Ok I'll try some accountability.......

stick with my timer and take breaks

What am I doing today?
Yesterday I finished piecing together a quilt top so today I will begin fitting and basting the layers together.
The hard part is that when I lay it all out on the floor the cats come and lay on it and decide to take naps there and it is hard working around them. 😀
First I need to get dressed and do the usual stuff.
Scoop litter boxes, fresh water & fill kibble bowls, sweep floors & porches.
So, what are you all up to today? 😀

Accountability

Many of you have spoken about posting chores and tasks and not completing them, or not wanting to post them in fear of not performing.

To be great we have to do the work, and you are all doing AMAZING work!

Today I had my dental checkup / cleaning / X-rays. I realized just now while composing this message that I should order the insurance forms for that visit ASAP; I'll try to make that the first thing I get done tomorrow. I'm also going to start charting my brushing habits.

About future tasks (to-do lists): I'm somewhat hesitant to post them here, because I feel obliged to post a follow-up the next day, and it's embarrassing to have to report that something didn't get done after all. However, sometimes that can be just the right encouragement to not let it slide. "Yeah, I should do X, but I'm kind of tired and would just as soon wait another day... Oh, wait, I already announced that I'd do it. Easier to do it after all than to explain that I didn't."

Thank you all for your postings. It's really boosted my spirits and given me some motivation to continue moving forward.

Hugs and congrats all around.

Too many pigs indeed lol

I was just listening to a Diana Krall song-Stop this World, a couple of hours ago:

Stop this world, let me off Theres just too many pigs in the same trough

So far I have taken out two more bags for donation. Several bags to the trash. I realized that I keep a lot of small empty boxes, mostly from products I felt were important and I figured I might need the box. A lot of those products I don't even have anymore. Trash, trash, trash!

I also am noticing I have a huge difficulty getting rid of electronics. Old cell phones, laptops, digital cameras, etc. I have a(n) (irrational?) fear that my data is still in the device so I can't throw it away. Not sure what to do about that. I at least got rid of a bunch of old cords and cables.

I have a lot of souvenier type stuff that people have given me that I keep only because I feel like it's rude to get rid of it. I took a step by talking to my husband about how he'd feel if I got rid of some things he's given me throughout our relationship. Also, texted my best friend about a piggy bank she gave me that we have an inside joke about. She gave me her blessing to get rid of it but also said if I didn't mind sending it to her she would love to have it. I had a thing for cute piggy stuff when I was younger so people always saw banks and pig stuff and thought of me. I have boxes of them *sigh* I'm drowning in sentimental pigs!

About To-Do lists....
I usually make a daily list with about 3 or 4 things I want to get done that day.
Sometimes I do all the things, sometimes due to whatever all the things don't get done.

My real list is a list of things for me to pick and choose from.
It helps when I don't know what I want to do.
This list is just a list of things I notice will need doing someday, sorta soon, but no pressure to do it all right NOW.

Like a Chinese menu where you pick something from column A and something else from column B but every day there is always eggroll, stuff that gets done daily like cat stuff.

diane, thank you for sharing your experience ((hugs)) Glad to see you staying positive and making the choice to find healthy ways to cope. Very inspiring, today especially.

Barb, I was thinking the same thing this morning. There are so many things I want to do I didn't know what to post. I started to fear that I would end up making an impossible list and setting myself up to feel like a failure. Trying today to take one step at a time and then see where it gets me.

I'm currently feeling a little thrown off. I don't have work today so I want to continue working on the back bedroom. My husband texted me from work and asked me to make my chicken soup tonight. For the last hour I've been trying to rearrange and make sense of my day (OCD) to include the necessary grocery run and cooking time. Trying to snap out of it. I do feel really good that he likes my soup and is daydreaming about it at work lol

Good morning everybody 😀

The weather is windy & dark overcast with possibility of rain today.
Great day to stay inside & do craft projects.
Today is trash pick up day and the can is already out at the road. YEA! 😀
The daffodils have already started putting up little flower buds.
The iris are growing their leaves.
The doves are getting affectionate with each other.
All signs that Spring will be here soon. 🙂

I agree with you Barb. When I post to do list in mornming, I am fearful I will fail and not do them, since I usually do things not on list, so much more positive to post at end of day, celebrating what I have done.

Good morning, all.
Thank you, Diane, for being so open and honest in sharing your experience and struggles. You encourage the rest of us. Give your old cat a little rub under the chin from me.
We all have blind spots. As we grow older, we learn to accept ourselves as we are. And each shortcoming may actually be a blessing in disguise. Although my extroverted friends are fun to be with, they can sometimes be exhausting and superficial. I love the time I can spend with my quiet, introspective friends because we talk about things that really matter and I gain new insight about the world around me. In this modern age we have forgotten what it is to be quiet and just be with each other without the pressure of talking.
Thanks, also, to Cory for keeping tabs on this site and encouraging us.
I have a confession to make. It seems as though I am making good progress when I post my plans for the day. Plans do not equal progress. Some days I have great plans, but still get very little accomplished. It is really discouraging to read the same plans day after day and know that I am really just stuck in the same place.
From now on, I will post at the end of the day, what I actually have done.

Thank you Cory for the encouragement and the suggestions. I feel honored you took the time to address my distress. I have areas that are blind spots for sure. The thrift store addiction was not activated yesterday, normally I would go until closing time, was aware it is no longer the best solution to distress. I have always felt more comfortable talking about meaningful things, so when chatty lunch person talked and talked I just sat and listened, trying to learn how to do small talk, I joined in a few times, but really didn't see the point, when we could be talking about roof repairs!! Today I do not remember one thing she said, do remember the light fun emotions she had. I used to be the life of the party, but it was very tiring to be more extroverted than I really was. Slowly I withdrew to the point it is difficult to be with people at all. I do not enjoy going to lunch, would much rather go for a walk and talk. Thought I would try it yesterday and see if I could change that. For now, will not make anymore lunch plans. I feel much more authentic in nature, and at ease. I woke up this morning reliving yesterdays anxiety, talked myself into letting it go and look at it as a learning challenge, then to read Cory's comments, and knew I could shut the door on yesterdays pain and get to work today on dishes, clean up, so I don't feel ashamed of mess. I appreciate this site so much, knowing there are ups and downs, and we can start over any minute we choose to.

diane,
Thank you for sharing about your lunch yesterday. I hope you can look at the experience in a different light. One of the first things my business coach did with me is to find my Blind Spots. He had everyone in my offices and my family fill out a long questionnaire about me. While I thought in my own mind, all of their answers would be glowing and filled with nothing but high marks, I was wrong. He sat down with me and explained that all of us have blind spots, which are things that others see in us, that we don't see in ourselves. These are the most important items to learn and recognize whether we feel it or believe it or not. If others "feel" a certain way about us, than we should probably consider how to fix that.

You said yourself, that you were nervous about going to lunch with your friend, so already there was apprehension there. Your friend probably feels this way to so she brought a buffer with her. Rather than see this as a negative, learn from it. See how you can work on yourself where people will not need to bring another date to the party, but rather you yourself be the life of the party! I think you did great by stopping yourself from a day of thrift stores, so a huge congratulations is in order. That takes complete self control to stop the old cycles of comfort, in order to find new healthy comforts. Keep up the great work, and keep looking for your blind spots, or even ask some friends to be brutally honest, so you can learn what all of them are. Change is ongoing and uncomfortable, but if we want to be the best we can be, we MUST continue to do the self work, to learn, grow, and change!

Yesterday I visited a friend and we took her dog for a long walk, very nice visit. Today I went to lunch with a casual friend, which is way outside my comfort zone, we had planned this last week. When I got there, I was surprised to find she had invited a friend of hers this morning, without telling me. The friend she invited talked non stop, while enjoyable conversation, it was weird. At the end, I asked my friend if she invited the chattery friend, because she was afraid of being bored with just me, she said, well, her friend is very entertaining. I felt very embarrassed and sad. Instead of going home as planned, I went to a thrift store, no surprise, and felt it was like holding a special blankie, the comfort of the familiar. I bought two cheery tshirts. Thought of going to other thrift stores, but knew it would not help pain, only time would lessen feelings of disappointment. So I went to Home Depot to buy more roof patch and get advice on different repairs. I left there feeling like gathering repair information was more healing, by far, than shopping at thrift store. I am still learning about my compulsion to shop to prevent feeling alone or rejected. Very aware of spending time with people that really like me and stop trying to get approval from people that are too busy for me or they have many close friends, and I am not one. Tomorrow I plan to stay home all day and work on maintenance, a little on roof, bring in wood. It is supposed to snow tomorrow and Thursday. Thursday I have a doctor appt. that I really need to go to, and am stressed about snow. Took a month to get this appt. I plan to go, drive slow.
I spoke with a woman at my health insurance today about hoarding, now that it is a medical diagnosis, wanted to know what they offer. She gave me the phone number for Cory's business. She spoke with fellow employees and will continue to try to find resources in this community. Said I am finally willing to go to therapy, but only CBT that has dealt with hoarders, she will call me back with information she can find. I felt relieved that she was so concerned and helpful. She said the local health dept. is working on making a plan to help hoarders, good news.

Roxie, great job dealing with the unopened mail! That's a problem area for me.

Karl, way to go! Productive day indeed.

Tillie, if only you could teach me to be an early riser! Your laundry accomplishment encouraged me to stick to my weekly task and finish up mine. Last loads are in the dryer as I type.

Dianne, sorry about your doggy pee wake up! Hopefully the day just got better and better from there!

I've got the rest of my laundry in the dryer right now and I plan to immediately fold and sort it into keep and donate.

After work today I used a gift card from our wedding shower to buy a package of space bags, those large bags for blankets and such that compress when the air is vacuumed out. This was great for a few reasons. 1- I hoard gift cards. I get so anxious about "wasting" them on the wrong purchase that I just don't use them. Oh, irrational OCD. 2- I limited myself to that one item before I even entered the store and I stuck to it. 3- Moving the pillows and blankets freed up a corner of the bedroom I haven't seen in quite a while 🙂

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I have to talk myself through my daily activities. I had a very anxious morning and I managed to stay on track. I'll take the victory.

Jess, great to hear about your progress!! And congrats on updating your look! 🙂

After I deal with washing floors ~ now that I think of it I'm VERY grateful for doors that keep the dogs confined to tile floors at night ~ I need to get to overdue paperwork.

Good morning 😀
I was up before the Sun but had the Moon to keep me company.
Cleaned the bathroom and got two loads of laundry hung out on the line to dry.
Next will be the floors, sweep & vacuum.

Hi Roxie 🙂
WAY TO GO! 😀 getting stuff done!

Hi Barb 🙂
Stay warm, stay safe.

Hi Jess 🙂
GREAT! to hear how you are doing.
WAY TO GO!!! for all your accomplishments! 😀

Hi Karl 🙂
GREAT!!! job getting stuff done.
So happy you were able to solve that credit card payment issue.

HI Everybody else 😀

After I get the house all tidied up I can relax.
His three day weekends really wear me out. 🙂

Finally a productive day. I'd originally planned to make a trip to the bank to pay my credit card, but since it's a holiday, I did it by phone instead (authorizing direct withdraw from my checking account at another bank). Then I fixed the flat on my bicycle -- and put the patch kit in my backpack so that I'm less likely to find myself stranded next time this happens. I also got the insurance form filled out, and phoned the insurer to have them send me the other two copies that I'll also need to submit; meanwhile, this one is ready to go except for needing a stamp.

I biked over to my storage unit and spent some time going through a box that seems to be mostly junk paperwork. I couldn't find my stash of stamps, so I'll just take the form to the post office tomorrow. I brought home a couple of other items that can be used here. I'd intended to take some not-currently-useful stuff to the storage unit, but forgot to take it with me when I left.

Jess and Barb, nice to see you again! It is encouraging how you are stepping forward, taking time to regroup, then stepping forward some more. Good going!

Thank you Barb! It does feel good.

Some of it was quite emotional. I burned some papers from an old car I had that my parents gave me and they had my maiden name on them. That made me sad. I have to frequently remind myself that getting rid of things does not mean I am getting rid of the memories.

I'm proud of myself for making progress. I don't know about you guys but I have a VERY hard time cleaning in front of anyone else. Since childhood I was mortified if anyone saw me leaving my room with trash. Well my husband got an unexpected day off today and I cleaned anyway 🙂

OH and I can now open my worst closet's door all the way! It opens inward and I haven't been able to do that for many months.

It is good to hear from you again, Jess. It sounds like your really got a lot done today. It must feel great to have your bedroom less cluttered. I'm glad you are doing well.

Hello everyone. I haven't checked in (or read really) since December. I made a pretty big effort today to clear out my bedroom and it made me want to come back here and read. I'm huge on avoidance and I think that's why I haven't been around.

I've been going to therapy and learning more and more about my OCD. I've been reading a lot about it too and choosing to download the books on my kindle instead of bringing more books into this apartment (ha!).

So anyway, today I took out 3 bags of clothes, shoes and purses to donate. I tossed a few bags of garbage, mostly old clothing I didn't feel was fit for donation and papers. I finally tossed the box my TV came in.

Recently I threw away almost all of my makeup, anything that was not very recently purchased. And I invested in new items, not just newly bought but new brands and better quality more grown up products. I had been using some of the same types since high school and I'm now 28. Overdue for a change.

Not only did that feel amazing but it helped clear a great deal of clutter from my life. I've gotten lots of compliments too, which doesn't hurt.

That's my update! Glad to see familiar faces here. I hope everyone is having a great day and staying warm in this crazy winter!

Hi all,
My friends three hours to the west are having freezing rain. It is headed this way and many schools in this area are either closed or closing early. This is a good day to stay in and declutter.
Sorry I missed last night's group. I guess I need to set a timer so I remember to log on.
I hope people will not shy away when they are not progressing or have slipped backward.
There is a concept in learning called "plateauing". This is nature's way of helping us collect ourselves and regroup before we begin making progress again. As long as we use the time to get ourselves together and begin again, it's all good.
Have a great day, whatever you choose to do.
Barb

Really nothing to report today. I am just checking in and encouraging everyone else to keep doing so, also. Hugs all around, Roxie

Good morning every body 🙂

Last night after chat we were discussing why some people quit coming to Sunday chat or even posting on the message board.
It was suggested that perhaps you quit posting because you have no new progress to report or maybe you have back slid on decluttering or cleaning.
Maybe you are depressed, sick, injured, financially strapped and stay away because you have no positive things to talk about.
This is a SUPORT GROUP
we want to hear from you no matter what, because YOU matter to us.
We want to hear about the bad times you are going through so we can hold you in our prayers and also post our support to you.
You are NOT alone. we ARE here for you.
We do understand how hard decluttering and cleaning out is and that there will be many ups and downs while doing this hard work all by your selves.
This is what this message board is here for.
Someone to listen to you with understanding.
So please don't stay away just because you have nothing positive to post.
(((HUGS)))
Sincerely, Tillie