Checking in. Going to office tmr for my annual review. I received the written review and was pleased with it. Was surprised how good it was. This is my third manager in three years so it's tough to know how things are going, even though we have a solid corporate culture of continuous feedback. So it's really about my raise.

A former neighbor of mine (he lived downstairs from me 20+ years ago) texted me this AM and suggested we get together. I was still in bed so said, give me half an hour and come over for tea. We had a nice time and he lived meeting the new kitty. I only had to do five minutes of cleaning up so I guess I'm keeping up better than I thought.

Saw BF for a few minutes today and he went to mom's with me. We managed to talk her into going downstairs for dinner.

That's the news. There's some personal stuff going on so I'm crying a lot.

Well, interpersonal relationships are not my strong point, and you seem to have something that works.

Lila, yay for clean bathtubs! Have you hit 200?

Dd is managing pretty well today. I am going back to the hotel with Dh tonight and then we are going to fly home in the morning.

I'll reclaim my goat, take over whatever feeding schedule the farm sitter has him on, and teach on Tuesday. There's a good chance I'll be teaching with a baby goat in my classroom so I can keep up with his feedings. Hopefully by the end of the weekend I can get him back on his momma though.

No, SubC, I do pay rent, though it's much less than what I would have to try and come up with for an apartment, even a crappy dump in the ghetto. Though I have just the one room but I have access to the common areas, and the yard to enjoy. The reason her stuff remained in the bedroom was that in 2015, this was to have been for a couple of months, and somehow 8 years later here I still am.

So I don't want to be pushy because she is trying to deal with her own clutter, with retirement that hasn't always been the break from stress, nor the plentiful abundance of free time she had anticipated. I want to be patient. Poco a poco. I might move the stuff from the higher more accessible shelf to the bottom one, as it would make little difference if she isn't interested in it at present. I can also photograph the stuff so in case she wants to know what books are there she wouldn't need to come into the room.

There's just always too much to do and difficulty coordinating the time to do it. And I'm not good at that sort of coordinating even with just my own schedule and energy and motivation. Trying to choreograph it with someone else is mind boggling.

lol, right? The irony of a dusty bottle of bathroom cleaner...

well I am using those products up and they will be trash soon! I guess I was sort of hoarding cleaning products and then never cleaning.

Tonight Tot and family are coming for dinner. I love having them over. It makes me tired, though. My fatigue is pretty disabling and I don't know where it is from.

Teen was begging to use my master bathroom tub which was pretty dirty (I have only showered in there for years). So I ended up scrubbing it, disinfecting it, and letting them take a bath. They are still in there and I hope they don't leave a mess. But hey, I got that done and also mopped around the toilet.

Son is about to vacuum and I am very glad. The dog hair is bad and I don't want the baby crawling in it. I really need to get the carpet cleaner people in here. I do it twice a year and pay for it to be done, about $140 for the whole carpet/stairs/halls. So worth it.

I put 2 more things in the tally box. I need one more to hit 200.

Hi Lila show!

Not much to report here, just switching out ice, doling out meds, pushing water and offering snacks.

My little goat is now my farm sitter's temporary house pet and doing well. I got a cute video of her girls building him an obstacle course.

I did finish reading the last of the magazines and put them in DD's recycling.

Dd has had the tv on a lot and I get the draw.

We did replace toilets with smooth sided models. I also laughed a while ago at the idea of dusty cleaning products. You definitely shouldn't have to clean the cleaning products.

Wow, the Lila show today.

- finished cleaning off the stove top
- cleaned the outside/rest of the toilet and the area around it with disinfectant. I need to run a mop over it as well. There was a lot of dust around it that balls up in grey wet dust clumps. Why is the outside of a toilet base so hard to clean? If I ever buy one again I will get one that is not shaped like an S with all the grooves and bumps.
- cut up a pineapple and put the chunks in the freeze
- let Teen try on some clothes someone gave us
- sat on the deck in the sun for 5 minutes or so

I am really dragging but doing a little at a time.

I washed off the stovetop which was pretty dirty. Then I used a scraper to scrape off most of the burned on stuff. Next I need to scrub off the rest of the residue.

I have noooo energy. The tv is sucking me in. I really need to take a whole week off and just be home, but that will have to wait a few months.

I would do so much better with no TV.

I even cancelled the little bit of cable we had but there is enough stuff on that I want to keep watching. Maybe when I finish the series I am on, I will stop. Maybe I can pick one day a week that the tv is not on. That would be a start.

Guys, I downloaded a new app called Pomodoro on my phone. It is a task helper/timer to help you stay focused. The timer can be automatic or manual and you can set the task time, short break time, and long break time. So I set it and it will time me working for 20 minutes, then beep as a signal I can stop for a break. It times the break (5 min) and then beeps like "get started again." It does this in a cycle of 3 or 4 and then gives you a longer break, like 30 minutes. All times are adjustable. I am trying it out.

SubC, how long will you be staying with your daughter? I am going to see my relatives next month for a little over a week. I wish I could fly first class. That would make the very long flights more bearable. I might call and ask how many airline miles it would cost to upgrade but it is probably a lot.

So CM, you may see this as a bit passive aggressive, but first off, I would move roommates stuff only to get it closer to the door.

I would find one of her books and leave it in the common area. Just one. Then if you are cleaning up and she can't find any place in the whole rest of the house she wants that book to be, she can get rid of it. (That is the little bit passive aggressive part, but it is my understanding that you pay rent - you should have one room that is all yours! - if you don't pay rent, that is sadly a different situation.)

Can you put Harry Potter and Twilight on that bottom shelf? You know you want to keep them, but you don't need to access them all the time. In fact, should they get blocked, they would be your reward for unblocking later.

Lila, you are moving forward. Forward is good. I hope the sweater doesn't disappoint you, but I don't have a lot of faith. Cheap, fast, and good - pick two.

I am just trying to work on the few portable tasks I was able to bring with me and take care of my daughter. She is doing ok. The only progress on dehoarding that is likely to come from this is that stack of local magazines. I guess that is something.

hi CM! I think you have some good solutions/ideas. I struggle with finding "the right" solution to things, but sometimes anything is better than nothing.

I put the clean candle jar in the donation bin this morning. I updated my Daily Tally and am at 191 items. My goal is to hit 200 today, which is in fact a lofty goal since I can't think of one item I want to donate.

I have today off, and have to work tomorrow. I hope I can get more done today than yesterday. I hope some of you come and post what you are doing today. I like it when we can encourage each other.

Well, my idea for tackling that one small area in the bedroom proved more difficult than I anticipated, due to lack of room even to work such a seemingly small place. Nevertheless, it allowed me to scope out what was behind the stuff in front. Turns out there's an entire EMPTY bottom shelf back there!

I could try and persuade roommate to let me transfer her books from an upper shelf to that one. She has been busy with her own projects though, and sometimes when I bring up my room she is not ready to add another thing to her own list. Which I understand.

Another thing I could do is put some of my art supplies down there - provided I don't block the access to be able to get to them and use them. This might be doable. The big items under the table in front of bookshelf (remember me telling a long time ago how we literally have furniture double parked some places in this house? I hate it but it's going to take time to rectify) - the items there are my Harry Potter and Twilight books, and for now I don't want to convert to digital on those. They are comfort reading, and holding the book is part of the enjoyment of it.

But I can figure out how to stack them less jumbled, and leave a gap to access the art supplies or whatever. Trying to analyze the whole business - I'd also thought of putting seldom used things back there but that made me question would it not be better to just jettison the seldom used, rather than consigning it to the out of sight out of mind place and leaving it to die?

One other possibility is a tub of roommate's stuff that is way up on the top of the shelves, put that there and my books up on top. But they would be hard to reach especially because in this room there's no place to use a step stool. At least not until the floor is less cluttered!

Yuck. It's just one of those scenarios where it all needs to be fixed at once (so that it doesn't "fluff" and thus magnify the problem, and so I have a spot to sit or stand whilst working), but that's not feasible under the current conditions. Yet I will brainstorm. At least I've been able to assess the situation, see what is under there. I will come up with ideas.

Today I was going to donate a big, nice candle.
But it is one of those candles that has a ring (jewelry) in the wax partway down. And I was not sure if we had gotten it out.
So I burned that candle all day long, pouring out the wax as it melted.
I got down to the bare bottom, no ring.
Then I saw what a very nice jar it is, so peeled off the labels and it is in the dishwasher.
If I can find a nice use for it, on my bedroom dresser full of smaller things, I will keep it. Otherwise it will go to the donate box.
But at least I don't have a candle sitting here forever anymore.

I also played fetch with my dog, and cleaned up a small amount of dog poop in the yard.

I feel discouraged that I do not have the energy to get more done. However, I made a habit tracker chart and put it in my planner today. I took my supplements today. I sat outside in the sun today. I was hoping Son would help me with a few things but he slept all day. I think he is not feeling well. I hope he is better soon.

Thankfully, I have the day off tomorrow as well. I plan to go to bed early tonight and get up early tomorrow to get things accomplished.

Admission: I have ordered a thing or two online, including clothing, in the last couple weeks. I had committed to not doing this. EVER item I order from the 'big online store' has been disappointingly poor quality and bad fit so I end up sending them back. I had said I would stop ordering clothing and if I NEED something I will go into a real store and try it on. Well, I did order a sweater, but it was so super thin and baggy so I returned it. Today I ordered a light cardigan because it was so cheap and I have not found anything I like in stores. I feel kinda bad about it but also hopeful it will look nice. I have speaking engagements and need to find a few items to look nicer. I don't want to be disappointed in this one.

Last week I kept hearing a little noise in my bedroom after I was in bed at night. It was freaking me out, maybe a mouse?? So I let Teen's cat sleep in my room for 2 nights. The noise stopped. Then started again. I was terrified that a mouse was making a home in my dresser, where the noise seemed to be coming from. One night I opened every drawer and looked around. Nothing. But, I hate wondering if there is a mouse. And I don't want to kill a mouse if it is in there. Sigh. I just need to clean that side of the room.

I have maintained the cleared floor space on the other side of the room, and have gotten used to the empty space.

There is much work to do in there, though.

Good morning!

I slept in too late but have had a nice morning. Talked to my son who is usually too busy, had some coffee and eggs and toast (my special, day-off breakfast).

So far I also:
- loaded the dishwasher and hand washed some pans
- got all my dirty laundry into a basket to wash later
- took a few boxes and trash out for trash day and put the cans to the road
- scrubbed the inside of the baster bathroom toilet (it really needed it!!!) and also let sanitizer sit in the bowl and scrubbed again, so it's very clean
- answered some emails, picked up a bit

I need to find a bathroom cleaner spray that sanitizes surfaces and do the rest of the outside of the toilet. I don't want to buy any unless I am sure I really don't have any here - I have sooo many cleaning supplies it's ridiculous. Some are so old they are covered in dust @@

About to go pick up Dd and take her to the surgery center.

She wants me to braid her hair because she can't shower for a week. That's one of my few shining mom moments - I was braiding her hair for a 4h show and another girl her age pointed out to her mom "(her) mom braids her hair!" To which my ever appreciative 14 y.o. Pointed out that it was the only thing I did right and all the other things this other girl's mom was good at. At which point I replied "it takes a village." And braided the other girls hair too.

Hello friends,

another week of work, and now I get two days off! I was asked todo meetings this weekend but said I could not. I really, desperately need 2 days off in a row. And now I have them.

My house is a complete wreck. I have very low motivation to do anything. Last day off I had, I went and got energy drinks to try and get motivated, but they did not help. I watched tv all day. So this time I will not lean on caffeine but will try to start exercising, getting out in the sun, and start taking my vitamins again, and eating healthier.

As you can imagine, my dining room table is covered in stuff. And the kitchen/bar is piled up as well. There is still a box of donations in my car. There is stuff everywhere. I am hoping I can have enough energy and motivation to get some of this done over the next 2 days.

Nice to read your posts and catch up!

CM, I am open to possibilities.

It's not that Dd and I have a difficult relationship, it's more like we react to each other like we walked into a restaurant, sat down, ordered spaghetti and got a handmade quilt. The quilt is beautiful, and warm, and lovingly made, and another time we would be delighted with it, but we are hungry and it is definitely not spaghetti and doesn't belong in a restaurant. Especially not one where there is tomato sauce. It's obvious this won't end well..

And how do you confuse a quilt with spaghetti in the first place?

I think your path plan is good. If you can get to the books, maybe you can bring THEM out into the common area. Then maybe they can go somewhere that isn't your room.

I'm in Denver at a hotel. Going over to DD's soon. Wonder if I flew over your head today.

Aw, SubC, I'm sorry - I know mother daughter relationships can be so fractious. Mine was with my mom; we were strong willed, I had my idiosyncratic brand of neurodiversity and perhaps she did as well, or the stress of her diabetes and some tragedies in her life... who knows all of what makes people have difficulty with emotions and control issues, then you put two together and the sparks can fly.

I'll pray for you both. I know you aren't of my faith but there's a beautiful thing we have of asking your own Guardian Angel to go talk to the other person's Guardian Angel to sort of pave the way when a challenging interaction is foreseen. I can pray for that on your behalf. Hang in there, and remember Poco a Poco, too. Anybody can do that one!

Came to post about my room as I had a little more luck this morning. Well, kinda crazy what started it: I think I may have heard my little unwelcome mouseguest. So I got one of the new traps. I'd observed that there was one place where the floor clutter wasn't so bad that I couldn't get to the corner where the trap needed to go. It had looked worse than it actually was. I mean yeah, it's bad, but I only had to shift a couple of items and I could easily access the corner and get the trap in there.

That had got me thinking. You see, a lot of the entropy had occurred during Covid, and when my roommate was working from home, when upsetting things were happening, when I was bummed out. So I'd basically taken a bad attitude, like "%@*?# it, I don't have the energy to deal with this, it's too hard, it never really improves, blah blah blah." But now, thank God, I'm out of that headspace. Might have an occasional bad day but then I reboot and get on with it.

So, it's different now. I saw that space, and I think I can accomplish something with it. Need to make a rough plan of attack. Like, I think one strategy is to go in only about a foot wide area, and drill straight back (meaning metaphorically, not using a literal drill, lol). Try not to spread stuff out too widely. I believe that has been a tactical error in the past, and it just fluffs the mess, usually creates avalanches, and definitely brings frustration and discouragement.

The staging area might be just to hold a few items from either side of my targeted area, which will also ensure I don't bring too much to the staging area. I think this has a good chance of working. I even did a little when I was setting the mouse trap, with items on a shelving unit by the corner. Neatened it up, refamiliarized myself with what was there, whether keepers or stuff that should be gone through with a mind to eliminating part or all of.

Haven't forgotten the shorts sewing either. Didn't mean to mix up my order of things to do. But I see a good opportunity especially with having the house to myself. You know I mentioned about roommate's stuff being in that area; well, doing this may mean I can help her and myself both, since it's books and she's been on a kick to switch over to ebooks. These may well be ones she will be getting rid of. But I gotta get my stuff out of the way so we can get to them!

I'll post updates of progress!

I'm just sorry the idea doesn't help.

Good luck making progress this weekend. I am jealous.

I am also afraid of flying.
I am also bad at taking care of sick people.
(For some reason a line from one of my child development books on attachment keeps running through my brain: when a child has a broken arm, it wants its mother. Even if it was the mother who broke the arm.)

This child has always wanted things from me that I don't have. So, I will give up dinner with my friend and art shows and my cousin's opening and sleeping late and working on my barn and garden and making progress on my house, and working in my pottery studio, and Bean on Monday and instead I will fly and try to care for my daughter who I love and be told I am doing it wrong (I know she just wants sympathy and food, but I am a bad cook and will push her to follow post-op instructions even if they make her cry) and I will come home feeling like I was no help at all and just as behind as when break started.

Dh wonders why I am depressed.

I am going to take part of that stack of magazines with me. At least I can make progress on those.

I hate wind. That is all. It's 30-40 mph today and about to drive me mad.

Hope this is not going to be typical of the entire rest of the month/spring. You had asked, SubC, if I could shelter the entrance of my storage unit by parking my van in front of it. Wind like this, or even half of this, would not be stopped in the least by that. And unfortunately I have stuff right up to the door anyhow, so it'd be harder to get in and out if I parked super super close. Sorry if this sounds like I'm shooting down your idea; I don't mean to be negative. This wind is just awful to deal with, always has been.

If I was the type to move to a different place, I would probably do so, live somewhere with way more placid weather.

Today I need to do other stuff anyway, and yesterday one of my roommate's rabbits was sick again but he's better today. We've tried to track down why they get frequent tummy trouble - possibly molting and grooming ingesting hair. Need to stay on it with the brushing. I forget sometimes.

Roommate will be going out of town this weekend. I hope I might be able to do some project that I can't do while she's here - like maybe something that involves setting things in the common space as a staging area, in order to achieve something amazing in my bedroom - but of course I have to be able to gauge whether I'm taking out more than can be put back in a reasonable time because obviously I can't leave it in the common space. And I'm notoriously lousy at estimating time, space, and work pace. Wish me luck!

It's nice except her broke up with her two days before she broke the bone, a week after he was able to take care of himself.

Her surgery is Friday. I have to fly to Denver.

I bought the goat.

Good for the ex bringing dinner! That's a nice thing.

I have more clothes ready to leave. Stuff that I bought when I was heavy and just trying to get through the day. At least one dress and two tops will be nice for mom.

I've been hungry and not in stomach pain for two days. I forgot what it feels like.

We are having a nor'easter today but so far just a lot of rain and wind here. I'm sure other parts o d the state are having snow. I'm glad I got my garbage and recycling out last night.

I need to sort some papers to take to work for shredding.

Good job Tatoulia!

I'm laughing about the recliner - there is no way a recliner is going in her apartment! She would have to get rid of either the table or her bed. She has plenty of pillows to prop up with though. And good friends taking care of her. Her stupid ex (definitely ex) bf even brought her dinner. Because - irony - he broke his collarbone in February and she took care of him. He also recommended his surgeon.

CM, I knew you would understand about the check! Any paperwork that leaves your life is progress!

I love that hyper focus state. One of the hardest things for me the way my life is right now is that I don't have long stretches of time to fall into it. I would get so much more done!

I am making progress on the counter. I am caught up on the laundry. I had a good day with Bean. He was tired from his trip. We just played cars and trucks and kitchen and train and read books, and every now and then he would come over and say "I want to be holded a little bit." And we would have a cuddle.

Tomorrow I am taking a long drive to have a look at a goat who is probably overpriced, but I might buy anyway if I like her. I have a lot of reservations. The last time I drove this far for a goat, I came home with two different goats.

I have things to put in the tally.

Oops, P.S. SubC, meant to say Woohoo on finding that check! Such a relief!

Now is the hard slog of getting through the jet lag that comes with the time change. I do understand what you mean, SubC, about the darker mornings. I woke up a half hour late, but managed to make it to Mass anyway - and even to stay awake therein, lol. I'm really tired today. Weather remains chilly enough that I don't want to go anywhere.

But I was productive here, got on a roll with some old bunny club paperwork, and started a trash bag (small one), typed some information on a list, deleted old emails. Stuff that doesn't add up to that many cubic feet, but is satisfying. Perhaps I shall consider it "virtual cubic feet." I like that.

There may be enough physical paper tossed after I go through more of it, too, to add up to at least a partial cubic foot. And anything that I do keep will be neatly organized in one place, the size of a reusable shopping bag. I have one with a rabbit print. Right now the papers are in another one and I think there are more in a plastic tub. Should see an improvement. As always, my trusty computer kicks butt helping me get things done so much faster.

The only thing that was not so good was that I got in hyperfocus and couldn't make myself stop; I worked way past lunchtime and almost made my eyes buggy. The idea of longer days seems a happy thing but also I feel more driven. I seem to have just two settings, hyperfocus and cocoon. Honestly, with this weather, cocoon mode can be very tempting. The pull to just go get into my minky robe and turn off my phone and hibernate. Only hyperfocus can give the energy to resist.

Hi everyone!

Lila, that is a lot of work and I totally get the billable hours reference! SubC I am so sorry about your daughters break up and fractured collarbone. If she doesn't have a recliner, now it the time to buy one. Cm I think adding pockets to your shorts sounds terrific!

I have one bag of clothes to donate and half a bag of household items. Not the two clothes one household I'd hoped to do but still feeling very solid. It is garbage night tonight so that is good. Already cleaned the new old kitty's box.

Oh my gosh you guys,

Bean and Dh are still sleeping (neither has adjusted to the time change) so I have been really good and taken advantage of the time to work on my counter drift.

I FOUND A CHECK THAT HAS BEEN MISSING FOR MONTHS!

This check has been stressing me out! If I do nothing else today, that is enough for my daily tally!

Bean is here today!

He was so sweet last night. He just kept running over and giving me big hugs.

It's supposed to be cold again today, but he wants to "dig outside" so we will see..

I made the bed.

We went to the play.

Laundry is almost caught up.

Dishes aren't too bad.

The kids are on their way home from vacation and will be dropping Bean off in about an hour.

Dd2 is trying to get an orthopedic appointment for tomorrow.

CM, I'm glad you enjoy the new time. I am on the western edge of my time zone and I always feel like just when I am starting to get some light in the mornings they take it away.

Oh SubC, I understand very well that extreme frustration of just beginning to feel like you're getting caught up and getting a handle on things, and then suddenly there's another crisis and upheaval and you're back to feeling like all you do is rush around putting out fires. And that even if you do get the blaze extinguished, you will have forgotten what you were doing, lost the flow and rhythm, or circumstances around you will have shifted and that will also mess you up.

I loathe that pattern of existence.

Just came here quickly to say I am very happy, though, for daylight savings and the prospect of lighter evenings, plus days lengthening overall in the months to come. Roommate and I had spring fever so badly that we drove to two favorite plant nurseries on the south side of town. I got an apple mint and a mojito mint, to grow for the rabbits to snack on. And an irisene, aka bloodleaf. I'd had a bunch of them from cuttings, but last fall when I was very upset and unhappy I didn't have the mental energy to care about bringing at least one plant indoors, so they died.

Hope to start sewing on the shorts this week.