Big day, Road! I hope you sleep well on the new mattress. Refresh my memory: do you have a lot of furniture in your bedroom? I remember that one of our friends here had a lot of furniture and I suggested getting rid of a piece. I'm not going to harangue anyone on this; just trying to remember.

Cleaners came today while I was at work. Going to go to bed now.

Kitty didn't ask for any food when I came in. Her bed and heating pad are still in my bedroom and I turned on the heating pad when I got home around 8 PM. So she's snoozing.

Saying goodnight now. I need to do some stuff around the house. I feel like I own way too much to be happy.

Hi, here with an update. Got all the stuff moved from my sons room to the master and then after dinner moved everything off the master bed to the floor and consolidated a. Little. Kept mr. road in a pretty good mood and warned him multiple times and he still had to make a bunch of snide comments. I even suggested this might be the last time I ever have to put my stuff in his room trying to clean but that just brought up memories of all the times we have cleaned it out before. Oh well. I'm exhausted. I should have measured that space before I ordered the bed. I might have to put it back in the arrangement I had before but less a bunch of the stuff. The plan has been to only have certain categories of stuff in that room .

1) clothes that fit - dresser, closet, hamper.
2) Needlework stuff - 2 bins under standing desk plus some various accessories
3) genealogy binders, books and paperwork
4) current office stuff
5) gifts/wrap & greeting cards, etc.

All the other crafty stuff and all the school materials for my son are going downstairs and garage for now.

Since I started working on the basement already I feel a little better moving more stuff down there and to the garage.

Also need to have a catch all bin so when the guys use my room as a dumping ground, they can at least have a target. It hopefully I can get them to stop doing that.

How's every body doing today?

Hi errrrbody,

Well I had a rather epic morning. First I took my son to school then I got some laundry going and went through a bunch more Christmas stuff. You would not believe the rando stuff that was in some of these boxes. Then I decided to try to deal with my mattress. Long story short, 2.5 hours later I had emptied out the "back forty" - quelle horror - did a minimal sweep and dust, opened the windows, turned on the air filter and got the dang thing out of the box, unwrapped and started decompressing. now I completely filled the hallway and my sons room and half filled the master bedroom and made my room totally unnavigable. I had two near miss avalanches and one actual (very dangerous) avalanche. Then I went to lunch with BFF, went home, got my son off the bus and he proceeded to start calmly but determinedly (?) move every. Dang. Scrap. Box. Drawer. Bag. And. Board! The hell OUT of his room and would not rest until that was done. I was getting annoyed at him for not listening to me to just stay out of his room til I cleaned it but his reaction was totally predictable. And to be honest, I thought after I had already purged so much on previous sessions there wasn't that much left in here but I was wrong. Calculate the cubic footage of this space and then multiply it times 4 and that will show you how much I actually had packed in here. The mattress is on the floor and takes up the entire back 40. Gulp. All the other furniture is crammed in the front half of the room. I was having to crawl under the desk to get through - but I finally got the chair angled enough that I could get the dresser tucked in so I can get by it now. Fat will only compress so far. Ask me how I know. 😆 now I am sitting trying to figure out what to do next. Oh boy.

Good morning.

I am tired this morning.

But I got an hour in my studio yesterday and my plans for today are on my board at school.

I started a load of laundry again this morning. I have two loads dry but not put away from yesterday. This load is also not going to get put away today.

I have a meeting at lunch and class tonight. That means I am working from 9:15 to 3:30 with only a 15 minute break, then clean up and prep. I need to be at class by 6. I will try to make good use of the between time, because I leave home at 8:15 a.m. and get back close to ten p.m.

I threw away a sentimental but falling apart brush at school yesterday. I also dropped off my recycling and a little bag of trash.

The farm sitter took a big pile of the feed bags that had been accumulating in my barn to make a windbreak for her chicken run. I had nothing to do with that, but it makes the barn better.

Off to do chores.

Not finished reading your post but YAY YOU road! Thunderous applause!!!!

Good job on the stuffed animals road! That was a lot to get past!

I hope you made progress on the back 40 and are feeling better about it!

I work really hard on verbalization because my non-verbal communication skills stink. Also because I have learned that my brain travels unusual paths, so I make assumptions that other people think are strange and they make assumptions I don't understand and do things that I don't expect. It comes from years of Dh asking me "why did you think." or"why would you possibly think." or "who would think." (well, me obviously.)

I have learned to start some discussion with Dh with "this is not an angry voice or a hostile voice, this is my ?I am struggling to create words' voice" because apparently normal people sound a particular way when they are angry and I sound that way when I am angry, or sad, or confused, or any strong emotion that challenges my ability to verbalize. Conversely, I hear anger in peoples voices only when they are loud, which is not always the case. So I will not realize that someone is angry if they are speaking at a normal volume. Also I take words at face value. It's a problem. I do better in print.

Hi all,

Productive early morning today. Decided to start driving my son to school today so I don't have to deal with the bus pressure and the very **** unpleasant driver every day. Ooof! She is a bitter pill. I have actually argued with her several times which is absurd and embarrassing so I decided enough of that. Plus, we have a great time dancing and singing in the car on that drive. And then I am quite awake when I get home and ready to get some things done.

Today I came home (well, after stopping at dunkin and making some poor choices) and cleaned up the kitchen, got the dishes in a soak, did some more decorating, started another load of laundry, brought up yesterday's laundry, and ****DRUM ROLL****

Threw out the 50 year old stuffed animals!

Da daaaa!

Actually it was not that big of a deal because I really didn't feel anything. It would be a bigger deal if I got rid of stuff that I had an attachment to. But I used to be attached to the things and significantly, they are the first ever collection and embued with all the stress and trauma of being hospitalized repeatedly at an early age. I am letting them go. I took pictures, and bagged (almost all of) them up and dropped them right in the garbage. I wrote up a little post with pictures for the other group and said I appreciated they were all given with love and comforted me during a tough time and now I find it comforting to let them go. Yay me.

Next up I am doing my room"reset" which is finishing picking up stuff out of the main path, folding and putting away clean laundry, getting dirty laundry out, and cleaning off my desk.

Also new project for today... I ordered a new mattress! Decided to go for a queen again. My motivation to get a twin was mainly so I could keep more crap in my room which is not a sound motivation. I haven't minded having sleep overs with my son and the H for the past month (?) but well, we all sleep better alone I'm sure. So this means I have to clear out the "back40" completely which means this is probably more like an all week project. But it's a good thing. It will mean that almost everything in my room will have finally been touched or moved and there won't be any remaining 7-year old stale energy anywhere. I am making up that number because I have no idea how long it's been. I just know I am continuing to claw my way out of the pit in super slow motion with the occasional spasm of hyper productivity....

Tatoulia, thank you for your warmth and sorry to cause you to absorb any of my grief... you are a very kind soul indeed. Empath? My husband I have been together for 30+ years and we have both done bad things to each other over the years. We are both still mean to each other at times but the incidence is less than it was. I am working on my executive functioning issues, depression and self centered
ness and his issues are... his I guess. I do regret not getting out when we were younger, but for now, we are together for the foreseeable future. Nothing is guaranteed down the line... but my focus is to continue working on myself and occasionally try to get him to see how destructive his lapses in self awareness/self control can be. Lately it's all about "self-regulation"... Learning more about that can only help our situation I think.

Subc, you have good insight on the marital situation in terms of how to put things verbally to let them know what we are experiencing.

Lila, glad to hear health things are looking good. Your lists always motivate me so keep them coming. Glad you got some Actual down time...

I better post this before I lose it. Everyone have a good day and wish me luck on the "back 40" project.

Good morning!

Tatoulia, thanks for the encouragement. Genetics says this won't pass but can be managed. Just a little sore this morning.

I am trying to get a productive start to my day. Usually I try to be quiet in the morning because Dh is sleeping, which means I mostly sit on the couch and go onl8ne or look at lesson plan stuff and I wake up slowly, but he still says I "bang around".

When he was gone I got a lot more done. Mornings are usually when I have more energy and optimism.

I decided to just go ahead and bang around this morning and see what happens. I have washed a load of laundry and it is in the dryer. I unloaded the dishwasher and put dirty dishes in it (a few are still soaking). I put three bags of recycling in my car to be dropped off this morning, and I started the fire in the woodstove.

Now I am very awake and going to start lesson plans and do my chores.

Thank you for your support, SubC. I do love my new quilt. So pretty.

I'm sorry about your hip! I went through a phase about ten years ago where my hips felt like they were burning and it was hard to sit. And then it passed.

I saw mom after work tonight and we had a nice time together. She lived the new towels. I cleaned her cat's box and hung out. I went to the grocery store afterward.

I cannot wait for my cleaners this week. I don't know which day they are coming. Having two cats here made a mess.

I'm tired all of a sudden. I'm not sure why. Goodnight dear friends. Great work in your quiet day, SubC.

I made a fire in the woodstove
I washed the two windows by the tree.
We brought the tree in (it needs time to open before I put the lights on)
I made cheese and gave the sour milk to the chickens and ran the dishwasher twice.
I ran a load of laundry and dried it and PUT IT AWAY.
I did a little dusting and vacuuming as we rearranged the furniture for the tree.
I paid the farm sitter.
I ordered a Christmas gift for Bean and one for my son.

The list of things I did not do is much longer.

My hip got worse all day, but it is not too bad. I made better eating choices.

I did not bring anything new into the house (except a quart of milk)

Good morning!

Tatoulia, you have paid off your debt. Is is ok to spend some of your money on things that bring you joy. Or even just for fun. Especially with a "large and unexpected" bonus!

I started buying Christmas presents and bought food treats this weekend.

I got on the scale this morning. Unfortunately I did not gain *5* lbs at ds house. I am at a new all time not pregnant high weight. My hip is mostly better today after suffering in the car all day yesterday, but I'm pretty sure the speed and quantity of weight gain had something to do with it.
When we got home last night I discovered that the farm sitter had already done my chores (I hadn't called to confirm I would get home, so she just did them at the regular time) which was a blessing because I was not looking forward to carrying water!

Bean is not coming today as it was decided that we both need a quiet day at home. I have far too many ambitions for my "quiet day" we will see how it goes. I did sleep a little later than usual. For starters I want to make afirein the woidstove, wash some windows, and get the Christmas tree inside and into the stand (the tree goes in front of the windows.)

I also have too many pottery, barn, and school goals. I have 19 days before holiday chaos starts.

Lila, thank goodness for the promising health news. I hope you can find some measure of relief. I know this doesn't end the worry. That's terrific you made the biscuits!

Well this long weekend is over. The visiting kitty has left. She's been a very good girl. My friend is still in the bedroom, even though she's free to roam around.

BF and I went to a holiday market in the seaport district last night. Just something to do. And it was nice. I bought one thing ad a gift for my friend in Switzerland. I'd like to get her package sent this week. Just small things. Her dog died and she's separated from her husband. Both things occurred over the last two months.

Today we went to the Life Magazine exhibit at the Museum of Fine Arts. It was terrific.

I spent too much money this weekend. I bought myself a thin white delicately embroidered quilt for my bed. It looks so sweet for the holidays. Then today,I bought myself a few things at the museum. And yesterday I bought a few holiday embroidered towels for my mother. And today I bought her a holiday comforter. I just want to make it Christmassy for her. I've washed the towels yet didn't make it to her house today. Hopefully tmr.

So I spent a bunch of money this weekend. It didn't help that my company gave every employee a large and unexpected bonus on Friday. The board of directors voted for it, to help ease some of the pain with inflation. Pretty nice. I put a lot of it in my savings.

Back to work tmr, but at least I'll be home.

Lila,

I'm glad your results were good and that you liked the biscuits.

Road, good job on the fridge.

I have had a lovely few days with my kids and Bean. Ds and dsil were wonderful hosts and I probably gained five pounds.

Ds showed Bean how to play hockey in his basement. We got their Christmas tree and Bean helped decorate and put up the outside lights. We took Bean to the park across the street to play and on a walk to see cows because ds neighborhood is sandwiched between farms and apartment complexes.

Some of the grownups enjoyed a craft market. Others enjoyed watching football with Bean. We all went to see the lights at the zoo Friday night

And Dd confirmed that there will be another bean next July.

Now I am lying in bed in a hotel with hip pain that I have been struggling with all day.

Gotta get back to yoga and lose some weight.

But for now, goodnight. We drive home in the morning p.

SubC, I related to the thought about this small item fits in the same sized bin. I fought that a lot when I got rid of things. I found the weight of my apartment was holding me down. It was terrible. And yes, having room for something doesn't mean it should stay. I will park down my Christmas things even more this year.

I don't have a Christmas tree,and given my need for a cat in my life (including the small one that is staying with us for Thanksgiving), I'm not sure that owning ornaments makes sense for me. I have plenty of decorations and yet have them oared down to a very small, usable amount. Things I want to see each year and nothing I find burdensome.

It looks Ike I'm reading one post at a time today. Thank you all for bearing with me!

I'm going to start laundry now. Only one other person in my building besides me this weekend. But, there's four cats, as the other person has two and right now I have two. So it's a good balance.

I got the garbage out last night and a second bag out today. I have more recycling to get out and I will do that tomorrow when it's light out. It is pitch black here.

Oh! and SubC - we love the biscuits! We made a double batch and everyone has been enjoying them. I'll have one with soup for lunch today.

I am not caught up yet either, Tatoulia. I want to take some time between tasks and read all the posts. I should be able to today. I miss you all when I don't know what's going on!

Road, I just got my testing back and right now everything looks really good. I have to have imaging to see if there is cancer in the lymph nodes and measure a couple of questionable spots to see if they grew, but so far it looks very good and promising. I am VERY glad about that. Seems like, though, there is always going to be this lurking possibility it will come back or grow again, for the rest of my life. I know I won't ever just forget about it or feel like I am cancer free, forever. It will always lurk. Hopefully I can forget about it between testing, at least. I am relieved, so far.

Today and tomorrow I finally have REAL days off. No medical appointments, no stress, no work work. I can just do laundry and clean and cook and relax.

So far today I:
- took trash out and bins to the road
- reorganized a cabinet
- brushed the dog a bit
- brought up clean towels (I need to fold them still)
- brought up my clean laundry (I need to put them away)
- ate oatmeal and had coffee

I hope to deal with some more veggies, get Son to vacuum, and run an errand. Maybe work on my room a bit.

What are you all up to today?

Not caught up because I wanted to respond to Road. I'm so sorry your husband is hurtful. I could feel my throat starting to feel really full like I was holding back tears, if that makes sense. I'm so sorry.

Wow! You got a lot of cleaning done! Amazing! I know the feeling of seeing more that needs to be done but guess what? That means you are seeing things for what they are! And you are making incredible progress.

Did I tell you about the first time I had cleaners here? The very cheerful cleaner mentioned that my house is dirty. She said it with such glee, I swear she was being kind and accurate. I told her to do what she can in the two hours, and so they did the bathroom, kitchen, and living room. I didn't want them in the bedroom. Back then, they came every other week. And slowly I let them in the bedroom, and eventually had them changing my sheets.

So don't stress in what needs to be done. Look at what you are doing! Great job!

Hi all, we got through it. Everyone was fine, nice, some fun was had. A lot of the clean up is done. And I finally cLeaned the last two shelves of my fridge... Seems like a huge accomplishment since i stretched it out over so much time and it was hard for me. Now I am glad I am starting the maintenance phase. Had to toss most of what was in there. I just get blind to it and have also not been good about "what do I have that needs to be used." I think I will be better about that now though since I'm doing some meal planning. I think I had a good balance of disposing of things... if it was really awful I just pitched it. If I thought I could easily clean it out I did and recycled, and the ball jars I Cleaned & saved. Definitely going to try out my shoe box idea again. (Clear plastic shoe box upside down to block out back half of shelves). That way I can see and reach everything and will hopefully waste less forgetting about things.

Hope everyone had a good holiday and you were able to get together with your beans, your tots, your friends and family...

Hi again, I stress ate and had a drink and boo hoo'd a bit then got mad again, went to sleep and woke up to my sister canceling also. I really need to adopt some new family. I am mainly hurt in behalf of my son who worships a family who works hard not to deserve him. That makes me really mad. But he came in smiling this am so mommy needs to get it together. I'm tempted to tell my mother in law to recruit a few guests from her lobby. 😂 it's just a difference of two people but now that we are only having my parents, my brother and my MIL it all seems so ridiculous and expensive. Maybe we will throw a party now that the house is cleanish and we have all this food...

Re the ornies, I don't disagree with any of that. But I'm on a path and I am pretty far down the road from where I was already. I stopped the problematic acquiring in most categories (including Christmas) a number of years ago. There were years I would shop or go to a thrift store almost every day during the season and pick up a few things each time which added a hundred every year. That's over. My main goal and a way more important one for my happiness and functioning is to reduce the overwhelming volume of stuff in the garage and basement (and my room). I can't obsess over "this could be used for that... it has potential" or "I can't just throw this away - it has to be disposed of properly or donated to just the right place." Those are concerns functional people without a clinical hoarding problem can have. My job is to get out from under and rebuild before I get too old or too sick to do it.

Along those same lines, I will ultimately waste less over the course of my lifetime if I get over my issues with cleaning regularly and establish normal maintenance habits. For example, I repurchase certain things because I can't find ones I already have. Not for the thrill of the purchase. For example not doing laundry normally for years (Having 6 loads just lost in the laundry area semi permanently) is how I ended up with 50 pairs of socks, etc. Part of the reason I have so many school supplies for my son is the whole psychological issue for sure, but the other side to it is I didn't maintain the way they were stored and the H would get frustrated with the mess (the way I left them worked for me but did look messy) and he would bin them up and stash them somewhere and out of sight out of mind. "Well, I need something now, I will buy it" ?sometimes having no memory of having already bought something or no idea where what I already have is. In other words, it's executive functioning issues. Same goes for the stuff I'm still having challenges with... books and needlework stuff. The books purchases are mostly online and definitely kind of stress relief. But I don't have a problem parting with them once I've looked at them. I have adhd issues organizing myself to do it in any volume that makes a dent... so it's more of a buying prob, not a hoarding prob If that makes sense. With the needlework stuff, it's not an issue space wise (only two bins) but it's a financial issue. What I'm working on now to deal with it is setting up a habit of tracking purchases and wish lists and inventory, and setting up a budget category on the rocket money app.

So way too much information about the dark corners of my brain...

CM, so nice to read your posts. I totally understand about the computer. That is a key tool for me and I've been working with out one for several years... ugh! So gLad you are Back in business.

Tatoulia, how are you feeling?? Nice that you got to do some shredding... that's gotta feel good.

Lila, I am afraid when I disappeared you were about to find out what was going on health wise, so I don't know exactly where things stand but I am thinking of you. I am really glad you have someone there and that you're letting them clean and cook.

Subc, I am dying to see your pigs. I couldn't quite grasp what you were saying about net gains... are you tracking what you're making?

Ok, I am off to get this day started... hugs to all of you - some of my very favorite people. 💕💕💕💕

Good morning - popping in before I go.

Road, all that cleaning sounds impressive!

Dh and I went through that stage when I started cleaning out. It's really hard. There was a lot of me crying. I just kept trying to communicate what was going on with me when he was in a good mood "I did this. This is why it is more important than it looks. This is what I need to help me keep doing it." And I found you guys. And he went to therapy..

Your Christmas decorations sound amazing, but I want to talk to you a little bit about some of the things you said. I just want you to look at what your brain is telling you more carefully, because our brains try to trick us.

You posted:

"But yeah the volume got so overwhelming. That was not fun. Then the funny thing is last night we went downtown to see the windows, go to the Christmas market and a nice dinner. The market had no less than 3 huge glass ornament shops. I was not even tempted to go in I was so sick of glass ornaments after all that unpacking, etc. Mr. Road couldn't believe I didn't want to go in those shops. I still occasionally buy a glass ornament but it's a manageable amount."

It is great that you had processed the saturation level of your ornaments and overwhelmed the desire to even look at more (When you really get there, you'll be able to enjoy looking at them and not want to buy them!) but that last sentence hit me. When the ornaments are overwhelming and you have too many to display, and it's not even fun to look through them and choose what goes out this year- it's not manageable. And when the quantity of stuff is already unmanageable, even one more is not a manageable amount.

You may be able to afford the cost. You may be able to find somewhere to put the new one, but that is because old ones have been forced into a "nonspace" as my family likes to say.

All those bins and boxes that are sucking our time and emotional energy and making us feel overwhelmed are in "nonspace" they are things where things should not be.

Like my pottery - my brain tells me I can keep making pottery because I enjoy it, and I sell it, and I don't even finish the standard 25 piece allotment for most of my classes- so really, I should be making more! And reality is that I make far more than I sell, and some of it isn't very good, and there is pottery stacked in many nonspaces. (you can tell that something is in a nonspace if removing it makes your home look more normal) My brain also tells me that buying one bowl at the sale is nothing, because there was so much I *wanted* to buy and I didn't.

Dh actually likes the bowl. He picked it up yesterday and said "I love this bowl. Let's get rid of all the commercial dishes and just have handmade stuff."

Also, one more thought about Christmas ornaments before I go - when I first started cleaning them out (a work in progress) I would feel like "what is the point of getting rid of these three ornaments, they are tiny and fit in the bin and the bin takes up just as much space." the point is that getting rid of them helps your brain practice good decision making and get better at it. And they take up your mental energy. And every speck of mental energy you can reclaim from you stuff is progress. It adds up.

Happy 🦃 day!

Hey it's a full house! Hi all you wonderful people.

Epic cleaning day today. We are hosting tomorrow and so we've both been working all day cleaning and shopping and cooking. I already did two in person shops and two online shops for this dinner but still had to send the H to the store for more today.

The morning started out ok. Then we had an altercation - well more like the H got overwhelmed with the mess (I was actively working on it at the moment and had been for several hours plus all I've done in the weeks leading up to this). He doesn't understand why I never seem to get it all done ahead of time without his help. Why should he do anything - he works full time plus eXtra and I am a sahm. Etc. He can never just discuss anything. It's like he's ladidadidah acting like a goofy 14 year old and then something triggers him and whammo- dr. Jekyl appears. I don't respond because it only escalates. Also my brain sort of liquefies and I shut down. And then I feel like crying for three hours and he just goes back to normal. He tried to sorta apologize but minimized what he did and I stated That yeah, it could have been worse but what he did do left me feeling like crying for hours. He didn't want to hear that. After that he really pitched in and worked hard all day and I eventually recovered and I'm trying to let it go.

It seems unjust that with all the progress I've made it doesn't seem to buy me any grace. I feel like I've done many things lately that I haven't been able to do for years but he doesn't see that - or if he does it just serves as a comparison for what I should have been doing but wasn't and that makes him mad too. There is just no winning. I totally get his frustration with the state of things and how long things have been messed up, but it certainly is discouraging when you see he will never be satisfied.

I guess I am having a pity party. He has complimented me a few times about the decorations being up early, etc. I'm just so hurt by what he says and does when he loses it. I am so over it. Argh. I feel like crying again remembering it. Usually I block it out and struggle to remember what happened.

Anyway, I don't want to make this about him. I want to acknowledge all the stuff that got done recently.

Finally got it together and bought a new Christmas tree. I shopped quite a bit and found a prelit tree that seemed really nice for less than $300. I spent about 3-4 hours fluffing it and I am really happy with it. I am a major complainer (as you all know) and a perfectionist and I am frankly shocked that I ended up happy with the tree. I also bought a primitive style tree at the consignment furniture store. I ordered lights for that and got the top half done and decorated. I had to order more lights and those came today, but I won't take the time to finish lighting and decorating that tree til after tomorrow. The new larger tree is mostly decorated with antique glass. It could use another hour or two and then it will be done done. These two projects put me face to face with my ornament collection. I guess there are three main categories.
1) hallmark
2) hand made/ woodsy/scandy/ santas /vintage/intl folk art (it all works together)
3) glass and antique glass

The hallmark I've basically stopped collecting and stopped displaying. I may sell it off in lots at some point. Minor amt. of anxiety. I'm not totally sure where they all are or how many boxes I have of them.

The hand made ones I have 3x what I can reasonably display so I need to get rid of at least half of it but that fills me with anxiety. I have no issue getting rid of onesies and twosies that are not as nice or have wear or whatever. These are the sentimental favorites. I have considered decorating a large garland with them to be able to display more but I think I've decided that is just too cluttered a look for my smallish house. I still do buy some but in small quantities and I'm much more selective now. Ideally I would be able to totally stop buying these.

As for the glass, I was horrified to realize I had somehow accumulated 6 bins of these. I think I have 1000+. This is like 4x what I can display and honestly, most years putting up two trees is more than I can handle so they usually don't get displayed at all. I tried to go through everything but I got burned out half way through. I found some that were broken and still couldn't quite throw them away. 🙄😖 but I started putting those and the ones I like least in one or two bins. It's been years since I've seen a lot of these and it was fun but very time consuming unwrapping them all. But yeah the volume got so overwhelming. That was not fun. Then the funny thing is last night we went downtown to see the windows, go to the Christmas market and a nice dinner. The market had no less than 3 huge glass ornament shops. I was not even tempted to go in I was so sick of glass ornaments after all that unpacking, etc. Mr. Road couldn't believe I didn't want to go in those shops. I still occasionally buy a glass ornament but it's a manageable amount. Still would be better to be at zero in and 100s out but I'm not there yet. I just bought one at a thrift the other day, and a new one that looks like my puppy this week.

So all the inside decorating is done except for half of one tree and 10% of the other - mainly extra fill in and the stuff at the top I have to teeter on the antique step stool to get to...
Hope to do some exterior decorating next week.

Cleaning - today I cleaned out the sink and soaked the dishes, washed the counter, a window, a door, lots of door jams, and cabinet fronts. I washed all the appliance fronts and did some deep cleaning on the more hidden angles of the fridge sides... I did the bathroom and the mirrors the other day. I've swept the floor a few times this week but you sure couldn't tell today. The H ended up doing it again today and actually washed the floor with the miracle pet thing which actually smells good. It's kind of cinnamony. He washed more doors and cleaned my sons room and swept the stairs... I packed up all the boxes of Christmas stuff and he took it back downstairs. Every thing that I cleaned made me realize how much more needed doing and how long it's all been neglected. But hey, everything inside the fridge except the top two shelves looks amazing! I cleaned the toilet and the sink again and washed the walls a little. Oh well on and on. It was quite the day. The H also cleaned off the
Porch.

Well, now after all of that I just got a call from my niece who was completely obliterated letting me know she wasn't coming tomorrow. I could hardly understand what she was saying she was so wasted. Great. Even though I have learned to downplay her attendance at family events so that my son doesn't expect her to come, he still asked about her 428 times in the last 2 months and now she won't be there. I'm so pissed.

Well, I can't think straight any more and this has already been too long of a post. Very productive day. It will be nice having everything be so much cleaner now and hopefully I can keep making progress.

I have stuff to say to each of you but I need to get a grip on my emotions. Hopefully back later tonight.

Lila, I hope you like them.

I'm glad you have friends to take care of you.

The adrenaline I hav3 been running on for week wore off and my stomach doesn't feel good and I don't want to do anything. Even though I know nex5 week I'll be sorry I wasted the time.

I just realized that the Christmas presents are 8 more things out of my studio. Honestly I shouldn't "count" the six I put back to rework, so maybe 8 out tomorrow to give away, leaving 21 more to break even (breaking even being still too much) I already have some ideas I want to make for the spring sale.

hi all,

SubC we are making your squash biscuits. I am excited to try them. I had medical procedures this week so have been offline and not working. Now I am home and my friend came to help me. Another friend made me soup for lunch today. I have good friends. I was a little embarrassed about the state of my house, did a quick dash and stash before she came. She is staying with me and it is such a blessing. She has been cleaning my kitchen and cooking for my Son. And we got 7 butternut squash baked, mashed and frozen so they are off my table.

I have a headache so will come back and read later. I am not really able to do anything today but help her made the buscuits, and enjoy them and some soup.

Good afternoon!

I slept late this morning, so I finally feel rested.

The very belated Christmas gifts came out beautifully.

My first of two loads is in the washing machine.

The place where we cut our Christmas tree every year is a couple of miles down the road and run by what are now family friends. They were closed in 2020 and called us to ask when we wanted to come get our tree. ❤️ This year they are only going to be open Friday - Sunday after thanksgiving, and we will be gone. so we called. They said "come get your tree." So we did that this morning.

Off to do this, that, and the other thing...

Good evening!

I am not caught up on dishes, but the dishwasher is running.

I have two loads of laundry to do before I can pack tomorrow.

The kiln is also running. I have to adjust it two more times before I can go to bed, so I will hopefully get to bed around 11. Which is very late for me, but tomorrow those unfinished Christmas gifts will be off the "things I'm failing at" list.

Hi Tatoulia!

I knew you'd come back.

Good job on hazardous waste day!

My house looks like a bomb went off in it and my body feels like I was home when it happened.

Last year I gave my ds and ddil pottery that had not been glazed for Christmas. I "let them choose their own glazes". (I didn't have time to finish)

All year they have not come here in a car, so I have had no pressure to finish. Thursday we are going to them in a car. So I need to get these things glazed today so I can fire them tonight and take them!

Also I need to do laundry. Today I am in the top corner of the "urgent and important" quadrant all day. Some day, I would like that quadrant to be empty. Just once. Or, I guess to only say "feed animals"

I did stop midchores last night to warm up in the studio for a few minutes and find ten pots that I can toss in the bridge fill. That's a start.

I also got some sleep last night.

Hi everyone! I don't know when I last posted.

We went to hazardous waste day on Saturday. BF had four big boxes for shredding and I had one small one. I also took some electronics.

The city hasn't posted the schedule for next year and I don't know if they do this in January or not.

Thanksgiving is upon us. I'll be eating out. I'll bring mom a plate and sit with her during the day.

I have to go see her now. So hard when it's so dark out!

I bought my very old cat a heating pad and I have it under her blanket. It automatically turns off after two hours. She really loves it.

We have a cat coming to stay with us for Thanksgiving. Bf said if there's any trouble, he'll take my cat to his house. This cat was here over Labor Day, I think it was. It's when we had that other terrible cat here and I made the owner pick her up the same night. Anyway, my cat and the other cat are okay but not perfect. And my cat is just so old. We shall see.

Have to get my recycling out. I have two packages to mail and then I'm off the hook for Christmas gifts I'm mailing. The6 are in boxes and addressed. I used to take care of a woman in Rochester, NY but the last two years she didn't receive my gifts including expensive gift cards so it's not worth it to me. Plus I'm worn out with mom.

I did four loads of laundry yesterday. I'm pretty happy about that.

CM, I don't have Instagram - or anything. I have a teacher email address and a personal email address and a wall phone and a flip phone that won't receive texts. My iPad gets instant messenger using my personal email, other than that I'm living in the late 90s. On purpose.

I'm glad you got your sleep figured out.

I'm running some laundr6 and baking our bread while Bean naps (he made the dough) I intended to work on finishing myddil's Christmas gift from LAST YEAR but I'm so bloody tired. Must force self to function..

Dashing in with biscuit recipe:

Preheat oven 425

Combine:

2.5c flour
1T baking powder
1tsp. Salt
1/2tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg

Cut in 1 stick (8T butter)

Add 3/4 c milk and
1 c mashed squash.

Drop biscuits in 12 equalish lumps on cookie sheets and bake 20 minutes.

Thanks for the Badger, SubC. I'll make use of him real soon.

Do you have Instagram? It would be fun to see your pigs with wings and other pieces.

Hi Tatoulia, Road, Lila, and anyone else who happens by.

This week is going to be a bit disjointed with the holiday coming and just our busy schedules. Roommate has been taking Tai Chi classes which will end mid-December. There was some mixup or lack of clarity in that she thought it was the beginner class and for arthritis, but it turned out to be the 2nd regular class, so she's having a time getting up to speed. And just coordinating it with other things we have going on. But they may get the same guy, who teaches through the park board, to come to the senior center soon and do the arthritis one.

I have GOT to get my rapidly expanding butt back to the gym. Things sort of started falling apart with that back in August, when some crazy stuff was happening - around the time of my uncle's passing - and I didn't make it out to the water park one last time which was disappointing and demotivating. Then my closer branch where I would've gone to swim indoors was redoing the locker room. They've installed these padlock-less locks which require a code and it threw me for a loop because CHANGE 😱 and my fear of forgetting things especially when I have enough to do to try and remember to take along a change of clothes and stuff. I have to follow a mental checklist, I have a way of putting necessary items in a pouch that I then attach my car keys to, because otherwise I've been known to leave things behind. Basically I have to idiot-proof everything. And once I have my little routine finally memorized, change disrupts it.

But I literally last week made a trip to the gym to inspect these new locks, I took out my tablet and typed the instructions in, in a way that I understood. Would've taken a picture of the actual lock but that's verboten because of the rule against taking pictures in the locker room, which is a good rule. So instead, I wrote down the name of the company and I can pull a picture from their website. That will then go on a little laminated card along with the typed procedure. And I'll need to start carrying a sharpie marker to write on my hand or somewhere the number of whatever locker I get - before, the lock was how I could tell.

Overkill perhaps, but if it helps me get past my hesitancies, where's the harm. Once it becomes the new routine, I won't need the cheat card.

Another thing that had become a problem at the end of summer, but is now on the way to resolution, was a worsening of agoraphobia - so that if I couldn't do things during the lighter traffic parts of the day, I would skip doing them at all. But I've had a good thing happen very recently, which is that I put two and two together and figured out something bad I was doing with regard to my sleep cycle, and that was really pulling me down.

What I was doing, was taking afternoon naps because I felt exhausted and sometimes a bit in a funk. But I tend to take very long naps - because I don't want to set an alarm as being startled out of sleep seems to negate its benefits. However, the long naps were messing with nighttime sleep. This month, I got busy and just decided to skip the naps, and pretty soon I discovered I was having a lot less anxiety! Life pro tip! Now if I can just add the exercise back in, I should see some real progress, because of course exercise gets the blood flowing to the brain, burns off free floating adrenaline, and all those many benefits. And hopefully will start the weight going downward too.

Roommate and I are going to go out and purchase a toaster oven because I apparently broke the toaster attempting to open it up and clean it - yikes - I thought I put it back together correctly but it doesn't work. And we decided a toaster oven would be nice to have again. She'd bought that larger convection toaster oven but it's too large for just a couple of pieces of toast. Also, there was a thing I used to do roasting a chicken breast and some potatoes in the small toaster oven, which was a handy meal to make at home. I know I've been way too reliant on fast food and that hasn't helped my weight one bit.

We're so crowded in here - need time with not so many outside commitments to do more downsizing and decluttering. I'm going to look around for more small wins like the pens and pencils - maybe slightly bigger items if I can think of some. And take the Badger trip to the thrift shop, and figure out what to do with some recyclables since we don't have the service anymore - can't hoard everything but a few easy straightforward items like flattened cardboard and a bag of milk jugs would be all right if taken to the recycling place regularly.

Starting to get rabbit club things flowing more smoothly - new computer is a big help. I've finished a few pending things already. Still want to finish and market those fundraising crafts - things like funny bunny slogan plaques, which will be basically designed and printed with the computer and then decoupaged onto the wood bases. Then I can get the mishmash of plaques, paints, and whatnot that is back by the craft table made into finished products, stored neatly and compactly, and I can start marketing them online to the group and possibly elsewhere.

I'm glad my own design classes in Inkscape and Krita are past - I'm continuing to practice, and the guy who taught them at the library is very nice and available when I get to the point where I'll need some guidance to troubleshoot and keep learning stuff. But with the holidays approaching I like to keep my calendar as clear as possible.

I'm just rambling about many things and I could probably ramble about several more. But I'll just wait for a subsequent post because I need to get going more on the day.