One of the joys of having my children become adults is that I no longer care about how others see me. It was hard when they were kids, because I didn't want people's negative feelings about me to affect them. But now, I am who I am. How others see me does not change that. I tend to be self critical, so when they can show me a better side of myself, I am grateful, but there is nothing bad they can say or think that I will agree with and don't already know (there are rare cases where I am unable to see how I am affecting others until it is pointed out and I then work to change it)

I am blessed. I have friends who love me. If they did not know me, their friendship would be worth so much less. In fact, while I will use the word "friend" if I have to hide from you who I am, you are not really my friend.

~Iced cacao coffee clinks!~
SubC, Thank you for your encouragement, but im certain no one would say anything critical to me about my place, but they would change the way they see me, in the same way i would, if i were them. It was the book, 'Buried In Treasures' that help me with the horrifying realization, that my place is filthy, more than just cluttered, or run down, or overstuffed, or any of the more acceptable to me, 'qualities'. If i felt ok about it, i would not care about what others thought, but i dont feel ok about it. Its mostly a reflection of my years on hard drugs, then poverty & depression. The other thing is i really want to do as much of the building myself....and thats my best 'excuse', too, cuz its true. My place isnt just 'messy' or old, it is just disgusting.....

Anony, HAVE THEM OVER! Let them help. You need help. You need connections. Let them know you are bootstrapping yourself out of a bad situation, and this new house is step one.

Some of them will understand and be delighted to help and become new friends, like us, except actually available to help you. Some of them will care very little and wander away, and yes, some of them will judge you - not to mince words: f#(% ?em. Life is to short to worry about people who have nothing better to do than tear other people down.

If they say critical things about your place, just say "yes. That is what I was trying to tell you. That is why I am working on building a new place as a foundation for better living." If they say critical things about you... well, I am a blunt and sarcastic person who doesn't put up with crap. I would probably say something like "thank you for your compassionate response to my situation. It is very helpful." Or "do you really think that is a helpful comment?" Or "wow. That was harsh/cruel/unkind/unnecessary..." in fact, I might say that last one as a bystander. They are at your home. They can be pleasant, or leave.

~♡~Good Morning!~♡~
Tillie, the rain sounds soooo nice! I love the summer storms! ~♡~Happy Kitty Mom Day!~♡~ Your kitties are so blessed to have you! 😀
Porter, i completely agree with you about embracing this new love, now! You are making the life you want really happen! Your values & priorities are in the right place! 😀
SubC, im glad the sale went well & it sounds like you did great on what you brought home! With your pottery skills, youd be a natural at earth house building, too! Happy Mothers Day! You are an awesome Mom! 😀
Last night i went to my friend's gallery opening & the lady who does the earth building workshops & quite a few of the people who took it were there, too. It was great to share my enthusiasm about making my test blocks & plans, etc., but each of them in some way or another, initiated wanting to come out to my place to help with it, even the teacher & there is no way id want them to see this mess?! I did say that to the teacher, but people often will say, 'oh, my place is a mess', but mine really, REALLY is!!! I know even if i had a beautiful place that i was proud to show, im still a very private person, but it really would be nice to not make excuses & be able to have people here. It feels so weird for this to have gone on this long. If i really do build a house, itd be even harder to make excuses & itd be a shame for me not to show it to anybody? I hadnt really even thought about that part till today?!?

You guys had a lot going on yesterday!

Porter, I'm glad you are so happy!

I think the sale went pretty well. I don't know exactly because I wasn't at my table the whole time, and this sale goes through a central register and pays out by check at the end of the month. I will unload my car today and check my inventory against the list of what I took.

I made good use of my time though. besides chatting with customers and other potters, I sculpted 24 little hippos. The hippos are my signature piece. They are fast, simple, can be priced low, and sell well. I also give them to my students when they graduate.

I also bought one piece from another potter. It is gorgeous. She only made three of them and she created the glaze herself, and this batch had an error in it that turned out to be beautiful, but she doesn't know what the error was. This is the second piece I have gotten from her. I wish I could buy everything she makes!

I also picked up some of my work from class. The leaf cups came out great. I am really pleased with them. They are prototypes - for me and not for sale - but I think I will add them to my line. The other things some I liked more and some I liked less. I put two straight out for sale, but they didn't go. They are more winter colors. Mostly green and yellow were selling yesterday. It's funny, because each individual person is making their own choices, based on their own preferences, but there is always a trend.

Everything I brought home - including my new work - fit in the boxes I took for the sale, but some of it is going in my house and not studio inventory.

Today I am celebrating mother's day by resting.

Just jumped rope.
Heading into the shower. Getting ready for church.

Later were a having a feast. Marcie's is absolutely spotless.
I painted most of the walls last week.
I wish I could get along with my mom.
She hasn't even met Marcie, and when I told her about Marcie she just kept saying it's too soon.

Love too soon?

Have I ever mentioned my mom is a hoarder too.
An angry type. I'm sorry my wife got sick and eventually passed, I would of died for her if it were possible. But we made each other miserable. There was no physical relationship for many years, just an occasional hand holding.
Just looking back is dread for me. Why wouldn't I be open to move on after death do us part. I never cheated or even flirted.

I know the answer, I'm just venting.
I love her and feel loved by her. So I don't care what anyone says or thinks about why we shouldn't do whatever we want.
It feels like a blessing. So I will care for her like a blessing .

It's hard to describe. I feel like she is out of league attractive, that when she starts walking towards me our eyes connect we both smile really big. She puts her arms out and we embrace.
It's not what goes on in bedroom that I love this woman.
For so long , my former wife denied me not only love but denied me very much peace either. So when Marcie melts in my arms because I'm giving her peace , love, and respect, tolerance, and challenge her to be more than her environment. I happy for her that she's in love, and that I. The one she's in love with.
She's so attractive, I can hardly believe it. .
I'm working on my weight. I've lost 41 lbs in 8 months. 41 more to go to get to a healthy weight. I know even when I lose the weight I still make me attractive . Never was when I was younger, So my focus is on living longer, and being stronger.
And pardon my forward ness , a strong lover.

The thing is , it's like focus now with the house not just organized, not just cleaned, not just spotless with beautiful furniture, But there's no negativity to feel , nothing to keep laying around or hold onto , just to feel something in my past that I loved. Nothing in my life compares to Marcie .
Just a woman !

Too soon?
Like saying. Hey you don't climb the mountain so fast.

I'm nothing without god, I feel blessed today. Like I want to go up to a mountain top and scream I love Marcie, but Before i got there I hear Marcie scream she loves porter. Who wouldn't go as fast as they could up to the mountain top to hold on to that?

Hello Everyone 🙂

Just checking in here, I guess a drive by posting. 😉
Been a very welcome and beautiful day today.
Started raining sometime last night and has been raining off & on all day.
Sometimes the rain is light & gentle, sometimes a real downpour.
All with bright sun shining through between the raining.
Did the cat related chores and also washed dishes.
4:00pm and I could use a nap before bedtime.

~☆~Iced green tea clinks!~☆~
Porter, im so glad you have created such a nice situation! Im feeling really grateful & blessed today, too!
I just poured my mud mixes & it seems like such a silly, simple thing, but it means so much to me to be able to do this! I love so much about it!
~♡~Im also super grateful for all of you here & for all of the understanding, support & suggestions from all of y'all!!!~♡~It has been of immense value to me on such a deep level!~♡~I dont know how i ever could have coped without each of you!~♡~
~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~THANK YOU!!!~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

Today is such a blessing .

I used constantly say to myself , as everything's keeps going wrong , keeps going wrong , I would keep saying it'll be ok
Just kept saying it'll be ok.

Today were ok.

Porter, yes, i was refering to all types of outside resources: financial & emotional, as well as help getting things fixed or all kinds of unforeseeable things that we all need connections for.
I just had to send a rattler to ~Snake Heaven~ that was lurking up in the underside of a vehicle my cat hangs out under in the afternoons. I was watering the ground under it for her, which may be why the snake was attracted. This is the 3d close call for her & a rattlesnake! The other 2 she went right up to in spite of them warning her!!! This one didnt have a rattle. Many are not born with rattles since evolution sees the rattles get them shot by humans. The neat thing is that even tho i got deterred by the snake thing for almost an hour, all i had to do was add a bit of water to my mud mix & its fine! 😀

Outside connections. Yes I agree.

This mat be over simplifying.

I solve most of my social problems through people.

If you dont ask you dont get.

So sometimes I ask , if the answer is no , then I'll ask if they know anyone willing. Sometimes my talents are for cash, but other times it's for generous trade. But when I'm in crisis , all those cash and trade friends become powerful allies.

Tillie , I was in crisis , and you helped me .
With all of my heart. Thank you!

I see it too, it's not just women that can become dependent though. I know a few and hear a lot about guys that don't work.

It's hard for me to find the right words. But.
Without god I'm nothing. Going to church , being apart of things local . Learning to love myself enough to pull away from what hurts me. Even if it's easier to let Marcie to just let me In. I'm not agreed yet. But I'll stand on my own. Until I get her debt free too, then we can move into vows after we both become free of debts.

Is also why when Marcie gave me the green light to make a difference with her hoard , I moved the mountain out of our way. If she wanted it all back I would have given it all back , but I didn't want her filling in the reclaimed spaces. Then depending on me to clear more.

I was so hardened , living I'n my hoard. Once it was gone I felt lonely . Had my creative outlets. But until I started going back to church , and honestly praying. Then I found love again , doing things worthy of being loved. .

Sorry for not editing,
On a better device yea!

Good luck with the mud mixtures! You are doing it! And I'm glad you had a call with your mom, Anony.

I feel strong. I spoke with my phone provider (landline) and I can't block the calls. I can change my number, that's it. I'm not going to do just yet as he hasn't called my house. And I worry he'll be able to go to mom's and see what numbers she's called, thus rendering it all moot.

Have a wonderful day. I'm taking mom out for lobster lunch for Mother's Day. She's fine with celebrating today instead of tomorrow.

~Tatoulia, WOW! It sounds like everything is shifting to a far healthier place for your family! Im sooo glad! Good for you! Your Wonderwoman wings are freeing yourself, your Mom, and in a different way, your brother, too! 😀
Tillie, the reason i was kinda pushing you to have some outside connections was because being too isolated can often become very problematic. In all the years i did family law & domestic violence, the main thing that seemed to doom the women, was becoming totally dependent on the men. And i know that statement is totally politically incorrect by todays standards, but it was very true!
~☆~Im almost ready to pour my mud mixtures!~☆~

Yikes Anony. That is so unnerving.

I am jumping on here to say mom just called. Sibling called her and was crying, has no food, also needs medicine for stomach issues. She said she wanted to get some things over to him and I said, no we are not doing that. You have no money and you have no way to get it to him. Plus he doesn't need it. It took a little convincing so I told her a story from a few years back where he was pulling the same crapola on me and when I brought him stuff, he threw it in the street and said, I told you to bring me $$ you fat stupid &$%#^*. and he left it all in the street. Quite the charmer, that one.

So I called BF for reinforcement and he agreed/this is all stupid manipulation so I called mom back and she was greatly relieved to hear that BF (who is a calm, gentle soul) agreed not to get involved and that it's just manipulation.

I explained to mom I'm not angry, I'm just over it. And it feels so good. Oh! And mom said sibling said that if I Tatoulia don't do X Y Z, he's going to get rid of a few remaining things I have there from Christmas (my own fault) and I said, I've already made peace with that. He's free too do what he likes. I have too much stuff as it is.

PS I need to read everyone's posts. I'm sorry. I had merely skimmed them.

~☆~Good morning to all!~♡~
Porter, congratulations on everything you have created with your space & your new love! It all sounds truly wonderful & i admire your determination & commitment! You & Marcie sound well suited & very blessed to find each other!
Tillie, im so sorry you werent believed about things like the bee sound. That sound is scary, too!
I had a friend that didnt believe her daughter that her tummy hurt at bedtime every night. She also thought it was an excuse. It turned out to be worms inside her! It seems weird when people assume others are always lying.
I looked at my dumpster & theres no way a skunk could get in there to eat that nest....'freeloader skunks' they are,indeed! 😀
I had a weird thing happen yesterday. I left the door open for maybe 15 seconds while throwing my old coffee grounds into my garden. When i came back, a dead bird was on the top step. I guess maybe it couldve flown into the open door in that time. What is weird is that ive worried about stiring up toxins & even tho its not a canary, its bright yellow & it almost seems symbolic of how canaries die in mines if its too toxic....just the sybolism....?!?!?

Coffee clinks!

I am up early for me so I've started a load of laundry, I've emptied my dishwasher and I'm sitting next to kitty cat. I'll see mom in a bit. I'm thinking of logging into laptop and doing some work.

Good to hear from everyone! Keep up the good work!

Still losing weight. 209 Still withfrigeratorStillg is starting to feel like summer.
im taking that long walk everyday 75 minutes.
Marcie doesnt always go with me, but I tell her I am not going to stop getting my down to a healthy weight, I put just as much effort into living healthy as do living in clean and organized home. Theres very little left in marcies house that is left of her former hoard.
Basically we traded almost all of her furniture and knick knacks for new stuff like a master plan. Instead of mmis matched furniture.

marcie is excited to host a mothers day feast at her house.
Shes got it all mapped out on the frigerator wall.
Down to what well say to eachother. Lol.

I think after this ill start to get her some help in therapy.
Its over my head. I love her just the way she is I accept her imperfections as well as she does mine.

but I know that she may benifit from working with a therapist to enjoy more spontaneous events. She said to me the othet day how happy she was with her house.
Like she only used to be this happy when she went on vacations away from her hoard. Where she didnt gave to plan out what to do. Just do what others in the groups had planned agenda.

As for me. Im just feel like heaven on earth that found a beautiful woman that likes being held in my arms. We could be homeless in the wake of a tsunami. and I with her in my arms I would feel blessed.

The last of everything in storages went out.
I took all her oapers and had them digitized.
shes amazed at how much she has charted in her lufe and gitten no where where she planned.
She just keeps coming to me and hugging me were like magnets. I just keep saying without god we are nothing.
together were are beautiful. And the love making is very sweet. But we are so much more than just that.

Its a thing ive always felt but wasnt given permission to try with my former wife. I know we all sometimes feel depressed inside. So we dont feel we deserve our favorite things every moment of the day. But when I put favorites in my reach and serve them to her like a routine. Its like im veing better to her than her to herself.

ive gotten total appoval from her two friends.
Im trying to organize a bible study on wednesdays once a month. And open to new members on months with 5 sundays. Eight guests and 2 hosts. Followed by a cleaning service the next day. That takes the laborious chores out of the fun of it. Dont get me wrong I feel like all I need is marcie. But I know human love fails, but with god in our lives we are bonded so much stronger with a love that does not fail. She joining me as much out by the firepit.
which is like my. Zen zone. I do it so often.

But im looking at mine own needs just as importantly as hers. Ive gradully found ways to improve my self health routine. That tsking anything away from my routine would be the equivant of not taking multi vitamins while starving.

I want to live into my hundreds. I know they will solve the cancerous steriods issue. And whem im a hundred. I may live just as robustly as body builders.

Probably without marcie by then. But god will still be there to praise for without him im nothing. I think I will be on that boat.

Oh oh oh.
marcie completly owns her home.
she finally let see het finances. Was given permission to say what I think.
I took it all to my accoutant. He made a hackbof a jacked plan. And marcie loves it.

we both work.
I have no debts now.
She owes 116, 000 in othet high intrst debts.

im now takong ovet all our expenses at the weekly and monthly level. She is pay all her money towards her debt exept 5000 as cash buffer.
the idea is work for five years and buy a 100,000 boat.
ahe loved the idea of traveling the world with me.

I feel like she is my world.

Hello 🙂

Hi Subclinical 🙂
How nice your Father keeps bees. 😀
Around here there are several beekeepers that move their hives around to different fields to pollinate the alfalfa.
Whenever we find a swarm setting up house on or near our property we call them to come remove it.
They then have more bee hives to work with and we don't have to worry about bees building hives in inconvenient places.
Then we buy our honey from them and know for certain that the source is verified.

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Happy little piggy Kitty is back on her feed. ;D
Hope a little Ibuprofen can handle any of your discomfort from the procedure. (((hugs)))
WTG! for having a great day at work!

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
Thank you for finally understanding (((hugs)))
YEA! for having a more positive experience today with your mother.
The other bee hives around your place...
can the skunks reach them?
Maybe if you could make them accessible the skunks would eat them.
If they are too high maybe fashion a ramp, if they are in an enclosed space maybe you could open it up for them?
There must be a way to get the skunks to do some work around there and not just be freeloaders. ;P

When I was in 5th. grade bees made a hive in the wall of my bedroom.
I had no idea what that noise was coming from the wall beside my bed.
Trying to fall asleep at night was difficult. It sounded like laying next to a refrigerator while the motor was running.
My sister slept in the bottom bunk and it troubled her too.
We told our parents and they said we were just always lying to avoid bed time.
This went on for over 6 months.
I was exhausted from lack of sleep and one night I sassed back at my father when he said to quit lying about the wall making noise.
I dared him to come in from the doorway and for once listen to the damn wall!
He said he would and when he didn't hear anything we were to shut up forever and quit lying.
He came in, leaned close to the wall and I could see by his eyes he heard it.
I dared him to lie and say he couldn't hear anything but he said no, he could hear it.
I asked what it was and he said it was bees.
That night I slept good on the floor of the dining room because it was the farthest spot in the house away from the bees.
Next day an exterminator came by and said it was one of the largest hives he had ever seen.
Thousands of bees.

~Good Afternoon & iced green tea clinks!~
SubC, i bet skunks got that bee hive in my dumpster?!
Tatoulia, im so glad all is well with your tooth, kitty, Mom & todays accomplishments!
Tillie, i felt so awful the past few days, it made me think of what you go through. Im so sorry. Im glad you can rest as needed at home.
~☆~Im so excited to pour my test dirt mixes tomorrow!~☆~
~♡~Also, i talked to my Mom today & for the first time in years, im not tripping out over it!~♡~

Wishing you a good sale day, SubC!

Turns out kitty was being difficult. I'd left two plates of newly opened canned good and by midnight the piggy had eaten from both plates.

I had a good and productive day at work today! I got so much fine and felt really good about myself. I ran some errands on my way home and stopped by mom's to log her back into Netflix. I'm not sure what happened but she doesn't see well enough to enter the password herself. She has amazon and Hulu so there was plenty for her to watch in the meantime.

Ok I need to eat dinner then go to bed. Tooth just started to hurt a little from the trauma of the root canal. Not bad! First pain I've felt.

Thank you all for supporting me.

Yes, it's a pottery sale. I do two a year - a one day spring sale that is tomorrow and a two day holiday sale before Christmas. I am hoping to add another one this year.

Anony, yes, skunks eat bees. My dad is a beekeeper and he has problems with them breaking into his hives.

Good Morning Everybody 🙂
"Clink!"

Hi CriticalMass 🙂
(((HUGS)))
Really sending positive and strong vibes out to the universe that some way you get your freedom back.
Having gone many years without a vehicle myself I know your frustration.
Keep on praying and keeping the faith and searching out a solution to acquiring a newer more reliable vehicle.
Hang in there. (((hugs)))
Think I mentioned it before, but when I worked for George Lucas in 1986 he asked me "what did you think of the last movie?"
LOL ;P

Hi Subclinical 🙂
Thank you (((hug)))
My dog used to eat bees until the one day she finally got stung.
I was told dogs eat bees because they are sweet.
Hope the duck transporting went easily enough for both you and the ducks.
What's this about you having a sale?
Is it your pottery? 😀
I would buy one of your leaf handled cups for sure.
Wishing you great success with whatever you are selling! 😀

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Thank you.
YEA!!! WTG!!! (((HUGS))) for getting that tooth fixed! 😀
HAPPY DANCING!!!
How's Kitty's appetite? Maybe it's just the change of the seasons...
Soon you should be feeling more energetic and optimistic with that bad tooth no longer poisoning your system and mood.
Have fun at that baby shower. ;D

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
As long as you keep feeding the skunks cat food or anything, they will always be there.
Valley Fever is not just local to Arizona.
It's found in many locations in the West.
Even people just traveling through the areas get it in their bodies where it lays dormant until someday it may become activated.
More times than not it stays dormant forever.
What's even more dangerous is Hanta Virus.
Exposure to that will make you sick and might well kill you.
ALWAYS WEAR A PROPER MASK WHEN DEALING WITH AN AREA THAT HAS HAD ANY RODENT ACTIVITY.
Also dampening down the dust with a spray mixture of bleach & water greatly reduces the chances of the virus becoming airborne.

Cold dark cloudy windy day here today.
Might rain.
Have no plans for today but might wash dishes at sometime.
Cats are grouchy hissy fussing...
Need to cook something, don't know what I want to eat.
Hoping this weekend Steven keeps his word and fixes the cooler properly.
We shall see...

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! ;D

~Greetings & coffee clinks to all!~
SubC, im curious about in your last post you said, 'Skunks eat bees' Is that true, or was it a metaphor? My 2 worst critter problems are skunks & bees. The bees would be fine if they werent barricading my storage shed. I kinda wish theyd eat that nest. I guess they prefer the cat food?
CM, im so sorry your van isnt running yet. Im just glad it didnt explode with you in it!
Tatoulia, im glad your dental appointment went well & you feel better. A therapy dog? Wow!
Tillie, every year i also try to wait out the end of the cold weather to summerize things, but every year right after i unplug the cat warming beds & open up the windows of their outbuildings, inevitably it freezes within days!
Ive felt really weak & feverish the past few days & part of me is concerned its from cleaning the old yuck in the RV, or maybe the dirt flying around the building project that i was breathing in. Im realizing i need a quality mask. I hope that will be enough. We have a local disease called 'Valley Fever'that comes from spores in the dirt. Im getting all these reminders that im not as strong as i was.
~☆♡☆~I hope you all have a beautiful day!~☆♡☆~

Yay Tillie! 🙂 I am the queen of "weird" wrapping. It drove my kids crazy when they were younger that I would not buy wrapping paper - or gift bags, but I reuse gift bags. Gifts can also be "wrapped" in receiving blankets, scarves, capes (young child), cloth napkins, or dish towels. They can be arranged in baskets, or packed into tins.

I'm glad you got your tooth fixed.

Anony, build your house. I believe you can do it. And stay involved with your new house building community! They will help you and support you. If there is a partner for you, you will find him among people who do that! Life is too short to spend time with people who tear you down.

Skunks eat bees.

CM, I am sad and sorry about your van. I always love getting snowed in b ecause it is an "opportunity" to focus on my home and self, but I think this has gone on too long to take that approach.

Tillie, hearing about your daily struggles makes me want to swoop in and rescue you. You are such a strong, bright spirit. It is unfair that you are trapped in such a difficult vessel.

I am struggling to get moving this morning. I have to take the ducks to school and I don't want to. I want to pack my car for the sale I am doing tomorrow and set up after school. I can't do that with ducks. So tomorrow morning will have to start horribly early.

Okay trash and recycling are out. Kitty's not eating today but that's okay. I'm feeling fine. Easiest root canal I've ever had.

I haven't done much tonight but tomorrow is another day.

SubC I have a baby shower this weekend and instead of getting a gift bag, I'm getting a reusable shopping bag to wrap the gift. Inspired by you.

CM! Sending you love and strength. I am so sorry about the van and its consequences on you and your life.

Tillie, I am so sorry to hear more about your struggles. I am so grateful for your friendship and sometimes I feel I take, take, take from you without giving back. You are wonderful in every way and you make a big difference in my life. I am sure you miss Marty and how helpful he was to you.

Anony, you have it in you. I believe in you.

I am here writing to you from the endodontist's office. I've neglected my teeth for much too long and I've been in serious mouth pain for the last two weeks. Today I finally faced the facts and I went to see a dentist. She has a therapy dog! Anyway she was kind and she's sent me on to get a root canal this afternoon.

Look at me, finally putting myself first. But I'd gladly take the end of the line if I could soothe your pain Tillie. And CM. And SubC. And Anony.

~♡~Tillie~♡~, i am so sorry you have such pain & discomfort doing things. I cant imagine what that must be like. I can understand how youd want to limit your efforts to your own space. I cant imagine any organization treating a volunteer badly, tho?! Ive done a lot of volunteer work & have never seen anyone treated that way. Most groups are very kind & accommodating, that ive worked with. I wonder if you could try a different group & explain your limitations first? Im sorry if im seeming to push this, but it seems it could give you a new connection to beyond your world of relying on Steven & open new doors for many things~♡~
Ive been so tired the past few days. I dont know why. A part of me is concerned if i have it in me to build a house by myself....even without any guy trying to throw marbles in my path....

Sorry for my absence. Tillie, I saw your greeting on Star Wars Day - thanks. I've been a fan since 1977. Some of the newer movies I wish they had consulted me on the scripts for, but I guess they have their entertainment value nonetheless.

I haven't posted because it's now two months without my van on this particular stretch. There was extreme trouble getting parts. But supposedly the final one arrived - eight days ago. I don't know what the holdup is now.

This has me either in a state of deep frustration and depression, or fighting every inch to not go there. People who could take me places are scarce because everyone has their own problems. And I get so tired of having to fit into someone else's schedule, and hurry up instead of take my time.

I've lost my place in time, memory, and motivation as the days and weeks drag on with no change.

The only thing I know is that I hope I can figure out a way to get a different vehicle ASAP even though I may have the old one for just awhile, assuming it actually gets repaired in my lifetime.

I pray and try to keep the faith. It has been a struggle.

Good Morning Everybody 🙂
"Clink!"

Hi Subclinical 🙂
Glad to hear from you (((hugs)))
Take care and write again whenever you can find the time. 🙂

Hi Tatoulia 🙂
Yes, all those nice cardboard boxes!
They are everywhere.
Have a wonderful day at work. (((hugs)))

Hi Anonymoniker 🙂
Keep having fun making your mudpie home. (((hugs)))
Thanks for trying to help but there is a lot that I don't write about here concerning my health and general physical condition.
If I could volunteer, I could and would work a paying job.
The things I post here that I do with my days come at a great cost to me.
I push myself to do them and am in extreme pain and often agony from trying.
I am always extremely exhausted all the time whether I do things or not.
If I clean inside I can't tend the garden.
If I tend to the garden I can't clean inside.
I often just get the cats taken care of.
I am a puny sickly little old lady trying to keep up the appearance of a good housekeeper, working all by myself.
Right now my house is getting pretty dirty.
Bathroom needs cleaning, floors need washing and vacuuming and everything has a thick layer of dust on it.
Except the kitchen cupboards because I took 4 minutes the other day and dusted them with Pledge.
The windows really need washing but right now I just can't stand the pain washing them would cause me.
Many times my back hurts so bad that just washing some dishes has me in tears.
There is also something wrong at times with my balance and I keep just sort of teetering over unexpectedly.
I slowly do whatever I can manage to do and just want to lay down and give up on it all.
Etc. etc. and so on and so on...
Plus I was doing a little volunteer work with the cat rescue and when I told them I could not help anymore because my bladder has prolapsed they decided that I am now someone to hate. They think I am just lazy, mean and making up excuses.

Well the weather is going to get cold here again for the next few days.
Highs of 60s, lows into the high 30s.
Of course it will because I just finished cleaning and putting away all Winter things. ;P
Anyways, today I must water those 6 trees.
To reach them I need to attach three hoses together.
Then stand there watching as the tree wells fill up.
Marty would always keep me company out there following me around from tree to tree.
Scooter is too busy chasing Butterflies to help. 😉