| Cory Chalmers (Message Board Moderator) | Posted: 03 April 2012 - 08:40 AM |
As the developer of this website and being a professional cleaner and speaker on the hoarding disorder, the most common question and phone call I get is how to make someone stop hoarding. First, realize you can't. The hoarder in your life is going to have to come to terms with this disorder by themselve. They will have to first admit they have a problem, ask for help, then give 100% effort to manage this disorder...for life. The hoarder must be uncomfortable and unhappy with their lifestyle for this to happen, which is often the case no matter what they tell you. It is a very difficult lifestyle to live. The secrecy, isoloation, and physical limitations this disorder places on them is a huge burdon to carry. If they do want help, the best thing they can do is get into therapy. Therapy needs to address all of the underlying causes of hoarding, and there are many. The most common by far is depression. Often times when a hoarder seeks treatment for severe depression, the hoarding improves on its own. Remember, a cluttered mind equals a cluttered home. If decision making skills are difficult or a little off I would highly recommend looking for a CBT Therapist (Cognitive Behavioral Therapist). This particular type of therapy works on the cognitive thinking processes of a persons brain and helps them basicall to re-learn how they think about items and people and decisions. This is impertivie for the hoarder to be able to manage this disorder. After they are in therapy, they need a cleaning plan. This can be making a plan with a hoarding professional that they can do on their own, or with the help of a trained hoarding cleanup company. Do not hire a company or person that is not trained in hoarding. One wrong thing said or done can destroy the entire process, causing them to shut down and cancel the entire cleanup. My One On One Program can help develop this plan that is customized for each person with their strenths, weaknesses, limitations, struggles, and triggers in mind. I will post another thread soon on more necessary components of this proces in my next few message board posts. | |
Replies (33)
| Gaby | Posted: 12 October 2012 - 11:53 AM |
well ithink ihave found the right spot to be for once anyway. i wnt to thank you gain for your email response. yes i had to admit i was hording a lot of things i did not need before i could really look up help a i spend most of my time on the computer i find nothing gets done. tody i took the time after reading your post to think and plan a stratagy of attack to my home i have little to no funds for any help in this huge chore. i did discover in living in caos i am in caos in my self i begun to clear off the counters one by one pushing everything to the floor first thing taking out my aggressions on the kitchen. now to clean it up i brought in a big trash can in the room filling it up with broken items and trash. for some reason things taken out of the cupbard is never put back so cabnit were empty already after wiping them out i started placing items back in if it did not fit and out dated i chucked it in the trash. i have done this countless times before to make a point to my nine boys when they were home that they do not want me to clean. this has been my way for way too long it only makes a mes i have to clean up. when my husband was living he would clean up after me most of the time. bless his heart then be so darn mad at me for cleaning the shelves off. we never could find a happy medium in there. he was gone most of the moth as a truck driver. he provided anthing i wanted or needed. part of the problem was too many kids and thier friends in my house. i could never learn to say no to my boys if they wanted to eat they did. and so did their friends i am not sure how it would be now if i had a house full of kids again maybe it is why i limit my pets to two at any time i can barly feed them and me at that how people can have a ton of pets is beyond me. nine teen age boys fixed me for good. i hve one son still living with me. he is a grown man now fter my server injuries i needed someone in my home to help me, one of the worst things i did was to bring him home. of the nine boys he is sticking to me like glue but does not hel out he only brings in more junk and pets i do not dare to travast the stairway to his area less i get bitin or worst knocked down the stairway again. this house has become my nightmare. i have in so many ways asked him to leave. the worst of it all he finds girlfriends that are as bad as he is. i have refuse to the point of restraining orders on these girls to keep them out. i am guessing i going to have to break down and have hi restained from being her also. i do not recomend this for any one it makes for more problems in the long run. my other kids will not help me as long as my sone stays her nor will any of my friends i have left. i have been disowened by nearly everyone in my life. and i do know i am an enabler also. so there is another problem i need to say no, no more. sory for this multi mega size letter. i do know i need out side help and it is not the law. the city has threatend me and my son with condeming of my house. funny no one asked to see the inside conditions they only going by out side. so fari have asked during my hospital stays for a social worker to come to y home an asses this mess i am in. but i to dte havenot seen one come out to work with me. i am near 60 and have very little energy left. today was a big joilt to my depression problem it only inflired it to a dangerious point, stress kills and stress can cause you to kill. not hat i have concidered it yet. but has been a flash of thoughts. and that is what depression can do for us if help is not found. | |
| Lady Breena | Posted: 10 September 2012 - 02:54 PM |
As a sister of a hoarder, I have to continue to watch my sister live in filth and raise her son in this 'mess' because she can't (or won't) come to grips with her problem!!! | |
| lost | Posted: 07 August 2012 - 07:46 PM |
It's a waiting game. When you have some one who hoards you are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. i'm in a situation where the hoarder in my family was removed from her home. Even though she is family and I want to help her I can't. She is not accepting any help and is not making any real effort. What do you do if they can't see it? | |