My most sincere condolences.

She's had things go her way for so long that she probably truly believes that she will win this one too.

Stuck in a rut, same old/same old, don't rock the boat, if somethings not broke then don't try to fix it.
This is what I have noticed about my reluctant hoarder here.
They REALLY hate change.
Change of any kind, good or bad or for the best.

Personally, I feel that changing things up is good.
Keeps things interesting.

Her insisting on handling every single item is a way for her to keep control.
Her verbally abusive behavior is her way to try to make people go away and leave her alone.
Steven acts this way too.
So now he sits all alone out in his hoard, rummaging slowly through things, all alone.
Nobody ever visits, nobody ever calls.
I only speak to him when it is absolutely necessary so I go days & weeks without ever talking to him.
He is quite content being so miserable.

My sympathies go out to those people who's home she has cluttered up with her things.

Wish she would listen to you.
You have been working so hard to help, compromising and offering her options.
Will you continue?

Steven knows I am here and would help if he ever decided to change his ways.
Meanwhile, I live my life and leave him to his.

Gluten for punishment here again.

As the deadlines get closer just talking about moving her stuff out and into one large storage unit makes her extremely combative, dare not disagree with her or you'll get a lecture. And again full of excuses including her health issues. She's at the point just to deflect-"I don't feel well, I think I'm sick". I thought part of that was just to generate sympathy or delay but she really doesn't want to face the fact she'll have to pay more to store her stuff.

Also on the enablers, she was cut off several years ago because they realized she wasn't going to budge. Their health slowly deteriorated over the last decade with both I guess waiting for the ideal time to get her stuff out. I also witnessed many of the same type of phone call where she's doing all the talking, lecturing, throwing a tantrum etc. And she won't give up on seeing/handling every single item before it is moved-wants to know why people are fighting with her on doing this

Hello Again 🙂

There will always be some reason, some excuse.

Organizing that much stuff would be impossible unless she hired a crew of 20 people to work day & night on it for at least a month.

Those various people who have her stuff stored in their homes really should simply formally evict her stuff and be done with it.
Maybe then she would see her situation as it really is.
She just has too much stuff.
Plus allowing her to store things in their homes is enabling her, almost as bad a handing an alcoholic a bottle.

When she lists all her health issues remind her that when she's living in a nursing home she will only be allowed to bring the bare necessities with her and that you are desperately trying to help her remain independent in her own home.

Hello. Another day new demands

The hoarder now want's stuff pulled for her by category. And she's been told over and over about her storage units and house that stuff is stored to make it fit, not for organization or accessibility. Then she says OK only pull easy access stuff for me. She's trying to shrink the amount of stuff before she puts it all in one big unit but again not that kind of time.

She's also implying if not outright asking that various people not move, repair or renovate in order for her stuff to stay put.

And of course 'the pressure' people have put on her to move or get HER stuff out is stressing her too much. She gives a list/description of her health issues every time her stuff comes up.

Hi

Even if she could manage to take all her things to the various stores to sell them
I know she would just bring them all back home because the prices she would be offered wouldn't be the amount she wants for them.

I'm sure she expects to get top dollar but shops at most only pay half the going price for items.
They have to make a profit too.
Many shops can not afford to buy a lot of inventory at one time. They have budgets.

Plus so many things can be bought for pennies now due to places like eBay flooding the market.
Just look at what items actually sold there, not the listed asking prices.

Of course she has plans to use all those thousands of items she is planning on keeping.
I often ask Steven "just how long do you think you will live?"
He has more projects than he has years to do them.

I wonder if her inventoried boxes are still sorted or maybe she has rummaged through some looking for something and things might be all jumbled.

Hello again.

Just wanted to say you nailed it in that she must 'touch' everything. EVERYTHING.

Like I mention the most common sentence out of her mouth 'I have to go through it first'. Should note she prides herself on a inventory with numbered boxes on alot of stuff packaged over a decade ago but she still wants to go through the boxes. She can't find it but luckily copies were given to friends where she stored stuff.

She is still trying to sell her first load of items to the store for sale of this year. She must have 100s of items in her home and else where and she's still trying to accumulate a dozen items to go. She says you always take extra in case the shop won't take it. Ok, you mean to tell me you can't find 20 items or so out of the hundreds you have???

She still also wants to go to various antique shops for the most bang for the buck. She says this shop is good for that, that shop is good for this. Her health might allow a couple trips to a food store or bank a week less than a mile down the road. Many of these shops 10-15 miles away. The extra time and energy to shop her goods is unachievable. Begging her get a cell phone plan with a camera phone so she can text pictures-nope.

Having a specific different desire or idea for every single item is not a workable plan. She conflates her ideas for an object with a practical plan. Uggghhh

She is so deep in denial about the magnitude of her hoarded possessions!

Like "they" say...
You can't stuff 20 pounds of s*%@ into a 5 pound bag.

Wanting to personally touch every item would take a lifetime.

Getting her into some therapy is the only way she could ever possibly start to see the truth of the situation.

Hang in there. 😉

Hello Tillie, Thanks yet again for your input.

It's just the illogic and denial. She's also trying to solve years and multiple issues at once by putting the 'extra' or 'good' stuff into one big storage unit. She has 3 5X5 storage units and an 8x5 FULL that will have to be moved. A manager that cut breaks on various issues is no longer there. She has over 6 dozen boxes in a private home along with numerous other things, bags, packages etc. Then she still has a stuffed bedroom and laundry room in own home. She wants to sort it all before it goes into one big storage unit. And she wants it laid out for her. Waist high only in smaller boxes and bags so she can handle it. Yet donating it is an affront to her.

But the blame shifting and outbursts. I no longer consider her emotional theatrics a delaying tactic or diversion. There are issues. She is a thread away from being reported.

Hello

Hoarding is a real mental disorder.
Threatening suicide should always be taken seriously.
Anyone who is or may be a danger to themselves should be seen by a professional.
Her home is a danger to her too.
Her physical health is in danger both from the hoard and all the stress she is under.

If you do report her to the local authorities or a doctor for the suicide threats she may get the help she desperately needs but refuses to seek for herself.

Please don't be down on yourself.
You have done everything to help her that you can think of.
Sometimes we have to turn things over to someone else to handle.

Best wishes (((HUG)))