| Husband of hoarder35 | Posted: 04 September 2016 - 01:54 PM |
I've read all i can online and am just depressed angry sad and frustrated. My wife is stay at home mom we have 1.5 & 3 yr ol w mild autism *3yr my wife has been accumulating stuff for the kids mostly and then her crafting projects or activities that are all stored and rarely touched. She is in bad health and when i come home from work half the time she wants to go lay in bed. When im off work i am doing dishes laundry and watching the kids picking up toys so no tripping hazards etc. Her pain tends to keep her up all night making her sleep days when im off. I have a million things thwt i need to work on when im not working for income but cant do anything because im stuck w kids. When she goes to a dr appointment if she feels good she will go buy the kids some toys. This is not a money issue because she is thrifty but "thriftyness" seems to be part of the problem. She always gets a deal. The stuff goes beyond excessive toys. Examples of more practical objects issues that i have is that the kitchen countertops are covered w stuff and there is no room in cabinets due to things like we have a dish set w 8 matching coffee mugs and 3 custom cofee mugs so there 13 mugs taking up space when usually i drink cofee by myself 1 or 2x /wk. At most we ever had three coffee drinkers in house at same time but she gets angry when i want to remove half of the mugs. Now she is starting to keep glass jars like from spaghetti sauce saying she needs them for later. She leaves them in the sink for days ..i do dishes and dig the jars out and ask if she is keeping them and she says yes so i wash everything in sink and leave the jars. After 3x of me emptying the sink of dirty dishes and the jars still being there i tossed them in trash. I have started to slowly throw items away, 1 at a time and i have even chipped glasses on purpose in case she caught it in trash. I am having to take xanax when im home to chill and deal with it all. I think i have developed ocd in an opposite manner as her. She thinks she can buy more totes or shelving to organize clutter. I have a 2ft section of countertop in kitchen that i started cleaning everyday or every 2 days and when she sees me moving things she says i am being ridiculous. We have a table in kitchen that we never eat on because there is stuff on it. She will clean it sometimes completely when she sees my frustration but then within 1 or 2 days it covered again w stuff. I know i have to work through this, i guess i just felt compelled to type all this it probably reads as disorganized crazy thought but i just wanted to for some reason. | |
Replies (4)
| Frankie F | Posted: 12 September 2016 - 10:40 AM |
Hi everyone, My name is Frankie and I am currently working for a UK TV Production Company and we're bringing a very successful series to the USA and are very excited. We are looking for people who may need helping creating order and organization in their homes. If you would like some more information and may be interested or know someone who would be interestes, please send me an email to Frankie.Fuller@betty.co.uk Our website is www.betty.co.uk should you wish to check us out. I would love to hear from people that could do with the help of us and our AMAZING British cleaners. I hope to hear from you soon, Frankie.Fuller@betty.co.uk | |
| Tatoulia | Posted: 08 September 2016 - 08:53 PM |
Hi husband. One thing I've learned here is to jealously guard my clean and clear spaces (guarding from my own tendency to hoard and clutter). Yes chip the jar to keep it from getting fished out of the trash. And I agree with Tillie, gather up your garbage and trash. Do what you need to do. I am so sorry that you and your wife and family are going through this. We can support you and you won't be alone. Keep in touch. | |
| Tillie | Posted: 04 September 2016 - 08:58 PM |
"Digging Out" is the book geared toward helping the family of a hoarder. I too live with a hoarder. Best wishes 🙂 | |
| Anonymoniker | Posted: 04 September 2016 - 03:32 PM |
Your post does not read like a 'crazy disorganized thought'at all. It is completely understandable that youd feel the way you do. I wish i had an answer, but i will suggest the book that helped me called 'Buried In Treasures'. However, that book is geared more for the hoarder. The book that is helpful for loved one's of hoarders is on this message board somewhere? You could start there? It is possible, especially since children are effected too, that by getting these books to read & lovingly approaching your wife about your concern & desire to improve you & your family's lives, that she will see it as a real problem & change. It also sounds like she needs to focus on her health more, too? That likely effects the situation. A healthy diet & some exercise could get her to feeling better & maybe get the ball rolling in a good direction? | |