A FRIEND IN NEED??

A friend in need??
Alexa
Posted: 05 July 2011 - 02:58 PM
 

Hello,

This is my first time on a forum like this...my best friend has never been neat (neither have I!, but for the past four years she has been dating a young man that has a lot of issues. They live in a home his relative's own. He is unemployed and she works and goes to school full time. Their house has been messy in the past and I had not been over for quite a while. The change is astonishing and I find it hard to describe. The home is filthy, trash is piled up everywhere and the smell is overwhelming. I don't know what to do, what do I say to her? Should I talk to her about it?? If I do, what and how should I say? I understand that I take the risk of isolating her, especially since she is going through a stressful time but if her landlord checks the house they might try and evict them! I just don't know what to do. Please help?

 

Replies (2)

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Posted: 03 November 2011 - 08:35 PM
 

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Nicole Osborne Despres
Posted: 06 July 2011 - 06:38 PM
 

Alexa-
You're a good friend to reach out for help. The best approach is to be non-judgemental and compassionate. Show concern for her health and safety and ask her what you can do to help. Perhaps arming yourself with some local resources before you talk to her will prove you have her best interest at heart. Let her know that there is no shame in seeking out assistance, and that you would be glad to accompany her to visit a support group or hoarding specialist in the area. Keep eye contact and perhaps a hand on her arm or shoulder as you speak. If she is not ready to discuss it, let her know that you will be there for her when she is and that you are deeply concerned about what may happen if she does not seek out assistance on her own. Municipal intervention can be brutal, and the thought of appearing on the nightly news can be a great motivator for someone the get the help they need.
Best regards-
Nicole

 
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