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COMPLIANT NOT COMPLIANT

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compliant not compliant
LB
Posted: 23 May 2024 - 05:41 PM
 

I have a friend who rents from me. found her hoarding which may have started before but really escalated in pandemic (that's when food is dated)
House is now cleaned out. She had bought to replace clothes and everything that were dirty instead of cleaning but did not throw anything away. Bought and overbought clothing and cat food. Had six litter boxes and cat food everywhere- none of it clean. Professes to love cat but insists she doesn't need vet even though cat has obvious IBD. Had no problem getting rid of everything with helpers and sorted things for donation- that ultimately could not in good conscience be donated because of smell and concern about spiders. Now she agrees not to buy anything and to pay for all the cleaning. Talks the right talk and has agreed to all the conditions about staying which are the basics- clean, laundry, care for self and cat, contact me when something breaks, not to buy anything new. Has already broken the last one buying bedspread and knicknacks to make things lovely. Seeking counseling and support group are two conditions. We are on a rolling 30 day notice to eviction- if she keeps the conditions the clock does not start. What do I do next?

 

Replies (2)

Subclincal
Posted: 23 May 2024 - 09:25 PM
 

Thanks for your reply. To be clear eviction is based on the ruined house, hoarding cleaning, and water bills to the tune of $18k not to the cat's treatment. The treatment of house broke rental agreement but she acknowledges she was wrong, says it will never happen again, and that she literally has no where else to go. And I do not want to evict her and put one more person or the cat on the street. I want her to be able to take responsibility for her life and succeed.

Cat care issue is separate animal protection and care. No animal should be abused or neglected and I know she loves the cat and Vice versa. She has been given access to free vet advice to hopefully improve the cat's health. It had a major impact on unhealthy conditions in house- smell, 6 large, overflowing, hardened litter boxes, and diarrhea, urine, vomit and wet cat food everywhere under all the other trash. So far she unfortunately has not followed it and the cat continues to be ill.

Nonetheless your suggestion on positive reinforcement support is very much welcomed. I need all the help I can get. The conditions she has for staying are standard basic legal rental agreement conditions about caring for the property. The other things she and I have discussed are suggestions to help her recover, like hoarding support group and counseling and care for the cat.

I appreciate your reply. I am still trying to recover from the trauma of discovering the disaster last month and find ways to support her in reestablishing healthy structure in her life and the cat's, while keeping some boundaries to take care of myself. I live 50 minutes away and have had to take weeks off to get the house habitable again. Thankfully I have a very supportive employer, family and friends and so does she, including her landlord.
Thank you!

 
Subclinical
Posted: 23 May 2024 - 08:43 PM
 

Give her positive reinforcement for everything she is doing right.

Cut her some slack on the new decorations, a few things are not excessive. Maybe suggest talking with you about purchase ideas and waiting a bit, maybe even going shopping together for some agreed apon things.

I'm not sure why you have so much authority over her. You sound like a parent with adult guardianship. I'm pretty sure it's illegal to evict someone if they don't take care of their cat. Animal control might take the cat, but eviction? No.

 
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