| Freda Pane | Posted: 03 May 2017 - 01:57 AM |
After 50 years of family grief & suffering from my sisters hoarding the only thing I found was my health declining,tons of tears shed,fighting depression,fighting with my sister & more heartache than a loving sister should ever have.I tried for 50 years and where did it get me...my sister hates me and say's I'm dead to her.I now have no other choice but to give up and let her go.So after all this time & work.. I lose.I did learn the 1 thing a hoarder will not ever give up is control. PS...we live next door to each other.Talk about a living hell.I hate to say this ,but if you've been trying to help a hoarder & see no willingness to except any advice or help,save yourself a lifetime of sadness and except that you cannot help them. | |
Replies (3)
| Charley | Posted: 07 December 2017 - 03:05 PM |
I agree with MeeToo. Siblings and other family are generally NOT good helpers for hoarders. She needs professional help from someone who's been trained not to shame her or boss her around. And it really is her problem, not yours. | |
| Mshope2012 | Posted: 10 July 2017 - 04:05 PM |
Some people just do not want help. I think my whole one side of the family are hoarders to a degree. It took me a long time to realize that I was one also. I am now on the "other" side and becoming a bit of a minimalist. However, I had to make that change for myself. My mother cannot see the clutter around her. She can't throw away much except garbage. She spends her entire life "looking" for things that are in piles or stuffed into cupboards. I've cleaned out her house plenty of times only to find it worse the next time. I'm done. When she wants my help, she can ask for it. Same thing for your sister, you can't help someone who doesn't want it. We do throw things away out of my mom's view. She can't get to her basement so doesn't realize it is cleaned out. It flooded once and she is still mad that we throw out her "good" stuff. It was all ruined but she can't see that. Now that I am done trying to change her, I can work on myself. It feels good. | |
| MeeeTooo | Posted: 08 July 2017 - 10:08 AM |
Based on your rant, I'd say that you were hurting your sister more than helping. Advising, berating, and fighting makes things worse. The enabling, co-dependent relationship you describe is . . . horrible. The sister needs mental health treatment, not "advice". Wellbutrin worked great for me. | |