THE BILL CUNNINGHAM SHOW IN NEW YORK CITY IS HAVING A SHOW THIS WEDNESDAY ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE HOARDERS WE OFFER HELP AND PAY FOR PLANE TICKETS, MEALS, HOTEL ROOMS, AND HAVE A GREAT HAIR AND MAKEUP TEAM TO HELP YOU LOOK YOUR BEST.

THIS COMING WEEK WE HAVE A SPECIAL SHOW ON FAMILIES OF HOARDERS. WE WOULD LOVE TO HELP AND HEAR YOUR STORIES. PLEASE CONTACT US: 212 419 7447 I AM THE ASSOCIATE PRODUCER ON THE SHOW!

I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU 🙂

My husband and I are losing our house to foreclosure and are moving in with his parents. Difficult circumstances to begin with: unemployment, foreclosure, moving in with parents at age 50. Add to that, his mom is a hoarder. In one summer we have to clear thirty years of garage sale/antique sale items, and 20 years of her own parents' possessions, out of the second floor.

She gets agitated and irritated when she can't find an inconsequential item. She'll hang onto hopelessly damaged items because "somebody can fix them." And she'll offer ME item after item and get offended when I don't take them. She and I have very different tastes, and we're going to have very limited space. I resent being made to feel like a b%^tch for saying no.

She is a farm woman and a good person. She will deny she needs help and undoubtedly get angry. The family's attitude has been, she's a grownup, it's her life, she's just that way. (Her sister shows the same behaviors.) But her life will be affecting our life now. Luckily, we live in a part of the state where professional hoarding help exists. How to guide her there, is the question. Thank you for reading.

Heather,
You really don't have a lot of options with people that don't want help. You can try over and over until it really starts to wear you down. There are companies listed on this site that can help you clean it up, but they can't do anything without the hoarders permission. If you call the city and report them, they may be evicted, actually from what you describe, they will be evicted. You can try to call someone like Adult Protective Services in their county and you can remain anonymous just to see explain the circumstances and see if they can offer some assistance. In the end, it will come down to what they do or don't want to do. You can't change someone with this disorder until they are ready to change and go to treatment. Try not to stress yourself out in all this. You have a life to live and constantly worrying about them is going to take a toll on you and your relationships.

I would start with an organization such as the clean up company offered here.

Stay strong and stand your ground and ask for your inlaws help. Are they in denial? If yes, to what degree?

You are in their home so you are in a tough position to take care of this issue.
Get support to stay focused and strong and compassionate with your relatives.

The Board of Health in your town and state are good resources but know that they themselves are usually simply enforcement boards and can only bring in the big guns, so to speak, by condemming the home if it comes to that.