| Beverly | Posted: 14 December 2012 - 04:24 AM |
My house is very small (built in 1925) and needs construction work along with my hoarding problem. I never realized I had a hoarding problem because we bought this house as a fixer upper and just stuffed everything in while my new carpenter husband started fixing things. Then he got sick and died very quickly. I just sat here either not doing anything or doing anything to distract myself away from his death. Here I am 7 years later and things have gotten worse. I still have no kitchen cabinets or flooring anywhere. I still have boarded up windows, big holes in some ceilings and walls. The new appliances are still waiting in the garage 7 years later. Finally I realized that maybe I could get a job. Surely someone would hire me... and someone did. Now I have just settled into these awful conditions and I keep thinking if I just had cabinets and closets to put things away, I would... but is this just an excuse? I think mostly yes. I have piles of mail, clothes, tools, parts, and tons of other stuff everywhere. There isn't even anywhere to sit except for 1 chair with a tiny spot on the dining room table for my laptop. The rest of the table is covered with piles of papers and other stuff mixed in. I keep thinking "Someday I'll have a normal life" but someday never comes. I've had enough of this and I have been trying to tackle this mess but I can only do a very small amount before I get confused and stuck. I just don't know what to do with most of the stuff. I am also a box hoarder so I have plenty of apple boxes from the grocery store to put the stuff in but it's the sorting that confuses me. I realize now that I have been a hoarder my whole life but never had to worry about it in my past life because my homes were very large and with no children I had up to 4 extra bedrooms and a unused game room to stuff my crap in, and still have plenty of house to keep pretty. Not to mention the over-sized 3 car garage that I turned into a warehouse for the business I had. I eventually turned the formal living room into part of the warehouse too. That should have been a giant clue back then 25 years ago. I am so regretful that I did not realize what I have been doing sooner and now I just feel stuck and trapped, a prisoner of my own making in my own house. I seem to get so tired, hungry, weak, sick, cold, hot, busy and all kinds of things to keep me from doing the work. I walk back and forth, room to room and barely get anything done. Then I just give up, go to bed and watch TV. Of course I got a late start because I stayed up all night then slept till noon. If anyone has any suggestions for me, I would love to hear from you. Do you think I need a mental health professional? (not that I can afford one) Hahaha Thank you so much for reading my post and I hope to hear from you. Beverly | |
Replies (9)
| MayMay | Posted: 03 February 2013 - 11:26 AM |
Hi Randy, Yeah your case of depression does sound a little different than mine does. Plus it sounds like you didn't have any anxiety like I do. 🙂 I also heard that exercise is supposed to help with depression too. 🙂 Although, it doesn't really help with mine, because I already tried it and after I exercised I still felt the same. | |
| Randy1949 | Posted: 03 February 2013 - 10:18 AM |
May May, for me depression didn't manifest as sadness. It was more like lethargy. I had tried a few other anti-depressants before that and the results were . . . meh. But Paxil really worked for me. For you, it could be some other. My point is, you really can't have the energy to deal with things when you're depressed, which you have every right to be. There are other ways to battle depression too -- exercise is a really good one. Also that good feeling you get when you've emptied off a surface or cleared out an entire room. I'm just saying, it doesn't hurt to see a doctor about this. | |
| MayMay | Posted: 02 February 2013 - 08:48 PM |
Hi Randy, My uncle was on Paxil for a while too. 🙂 It didn't make him energetic, but it did help him mellow out a lot; so all of the things that used to make him frustrated didn't really make him that frustrated anymore. I was really young when he was on it; so I don't totally remember what he was on it for. I think he might have been on it for anxiety and depression. Because I know that it helps treat anxiety, depression, and even OCD; which I actually just found out about. I just thought it was for anxiety and depression. I had no idea that it also helps treat OCD. Maybe I should take Paxil. Because I have problems with depression and anxiety. And I also have really really bad OCD problems. | |
| Randy1949 | Posted: 02 February 2013 - 02:51 PM |
Beverly, it sounds like you might be depressed as well as having a hoarding problem. You mentioned the death of your husband and then just not getting anything done. Depression does tend to paralyze a person. And then having a big old mess from years of paralysis can be even more overwhelming and depressing. Have you considered talking to a doctor about this? I was prescribed Paxil about 14 years ago now, and while i was taking it, I was a ball of fire. Boy, did I get things done! I'm off it now and I'm not quite so energetic. So there's that to consider. Now I watch Hoarders and am inspired to clear off a small area. That's how you do it -- one small chunk at a time. And each small chunk makes you feel so much better. | |
| BeverlyL | Posted: 20 January 2013 - 09:17 AM |
Hi this is my first time going online for help, I'm feeling very frustrated and embarrassed and years of attempts to get this under control is not been successful ! gosh what do I do? Every time I try to get started something happens and I just never finish I know that this is not normal there's something wrong with me and I keep this secret deep inside it just seems so overwhelming. | |
| Beverly L | Posted: 20 January 2013 - 09:10 AM |
Hi, Tillie, can you help me? | |
| Tillie | Posted: 14 December 2012 - 09:26 PM |
Way To Go! Beverly on starting clearing a small area. The more small areas you work on the easier it becomes to make those hard decisions. Stopping when you became frustrated is great. There is hope. 🙂 | |
| Beverly | Posted: 14 December 2012 - 04:02 PM |
Hi Tillie, Thank you so much for answering my post. Just having you write something back to me has made me feel better, like maybe there is hope. Overwhelming... yes, that's the right word for it. Like you said, I started clearing a tiny spot until I got too confused and stuck. Today I'm going to do a little more. Last night I looked at most of this site and other links from here too. I was surprised to hear that hoarding has been added as an official diagnoses in mental disorders. Almost all of the other disorders that are common with hoarders apply to me too. Wow! I'm so happy I have found this site and others that understand this hoarding thing and are willing to help. Hopefully I will be able to help others in some small way too. I'll plan to go to the online support group. Thanks again, Beverly | |
| Tillie | Posted: 14 December 2012 - 10:50 AM |
Hello Beverly 🙂 From reading your post I think you are looking at the entire house and that is really too overwhelming. To the right of this page is a box that reads "online support group". Therapy with the right person really does help when you can afford it. Good books to read are "Buried In Treasures" "Stuff" and "Digging out". You have already taken the first step in getting decluttered and that is to admit you are a hoarder and asking for help. | |