| Rave | Posted: 27 January 2015 - 08:50 PM |
Watching hoarding shows, the drama aside, has really helped me understand the root of my own problem and to take firm steps to begin the cleanup process. I know I come from a family of hoarders. My great-grandmother never allowed anyone into her home; when she passed, my oldest brother did the cleanup and discovered she was a hoarder. My grandmother had an attic and two garages STUFFED with things; while the rest of her house had cluttered collectibles and stacked-up things, she kept her hoarding manageable. My mother keeps her home clean, but she has a room no one can enter because it is too full with magazines and miscellaneous things. When I was a child, I received many toys and was never expected to clean my room. The floor was littered with toys and game pieces, until one day when I was 7 and at school, my older brother took every single thing off the floor, stuffed them into seven thrash bags, and threw it away; I was DEVASTATED, and I know this was an early mark for me. I was lazy as a young adult because I didn't like to clean, but I still kept my home presentable. Until my "first love" cheated on me with my best friend, of all trite stereotypes. I spiraled into undiagnosed depression and threw myself into garage sales, online shopping, anything in the name of "I'm a collector." I stopped allowing visitors into my house. My hot water heater went out because I couldn't allow a repairman in. I was so embarrassed. But I didn't know how to stop. Now...after watching these shows and gaining some insight into my own problem, and pulling myself out of my depression, I have begun the cleanup process. It's almost overwhelming, and I'm still too ashamed to let anyone help me or even know about it. So I'm trying to do it alone. I live in an isolated community without cleanup resources for this kind of problem. It's so hard, but I have to do it. I won't live this way anymore. | |
Replies (7)
| Bead Hoard | Posted: 04 November 2017 - 12:31 AM |
I know this is a long shot. Person in 2015 says they hoard beads. Do you still have it? Or if you have beads or Jewelry I will buy. beadedpath1@yahoo.com | |
| Tillie | Posted: 24 July 2017 - 06:27 PM |
Hi 🙂 | |
| Too much to handle | Posted: 24 July 2017 - 02:43 PM |
I finally got my eyes opened by seeing a friends place who started piling up huge containers etc. in his yard. Seeing his mess with items I don't care about, opened my eyes to what it looks like in our house to our friends (the few, that are allowed to enter)..... if you know what I mean. Since that time I want to get rid of all my stuff ASAP, but I am so overwhelmed by looking around. Every area is packed, from garage, to wood shed, to yard and naturally the house. My issue though is, that I spent a fortune on all those things I acquired. Over $30,000 in beads, b/c I had the idea I want to make jewelry - what never happened. Now I'm sitting here with this value of beads and have no clue how I can get some of my monies worth back. The same goes for clothing. Bought a lot on sale, thinking I can re-sell for profit since I don't have a high income. That goes also for collectibles. I started collecting anything and everything. Now, about 3 weeks ago, I realized what is going on and I want the stuff gone, BUT I cannot part without getting some $$ back out of it. Posted a view items on Offer up and craigslist and sold some. But some stuff doesn't go, especially the antiques which are worth a lot more, then what people wanna pay. Main thing is, I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M DOING WHAT I'M DOING... I want to get out of this vicious circle and not buy any crap at all anymore, but how??? Been to several counselors, which ask me why I'm buying all the stuff. Heck if I'd know and know how to stop it, I wouldn't need to go see a counselor. | |
| ann | Posted: 31 May 2015 - 01:49 PM |
I know how you feel, i too am ashamed to let even a repair man into my house. I feel tired all the time. I am 78 but all tests show I'm ok physically. My demon is mostly "paper" not newspapers, but all kinds of paper, clippings, year end reports, mail I intend to read, clippings of all kinds, health, garden, etc. I made many folders, but can't find them and I make new ones. I feel I won't remember things (I'm 78) and maybe that's why I won't throw them out, but couldn't possible find them if I wanted to read them. I read somewhere it is a chromazone brain problem, I dont know. I've asked the Church for help, but no one, no one is invited to my house. The outside I take care of. I go to senior centner 3 times a week, but am too tied when I get home, after shopping, cooking, dishes, to takle anything else. Cleaning is even a problem. | |
| CriticalMass | Posted: 30 May 2015 - 11:56 AM |
Rave, our stories have several similarities. I can relate to, first of all, coming from a hoarder family mostly on my paternal side. And in my own experience - that business of being a child and someone else throwing out your stuff - oh, man. Now my mom was a neatnik and I did pick up some of her organizational skills. It was my tendency to emotionally cling to things, though, that made me not want her to discard anything. And like your brother, if she did so in anger that really stung. Be all that as it may, I am inspired reading your story because you are a ways along in the journey yet impatient - that's me too! I think you're further along than me. I've had a lot of monkey wrenches thrown into the process with too much moving (which I never would've chosen) in too few years. Anyway, thanks for posting, and all the best to you - we must both be patient, we'll get there! 😉 | |
| Rave | Posted: 28 January 2015 - 09:15 PM |
I'm making real progress in cleaning up, even though it's slower than I would like and I find myself impatient for things to move along. It's like once you take those first few, difficult steps, it gets easier. Especially as you see results. I'm moving into a new house for a clean slate, but I will be retaining this current house and continuing the clean-up with an eye on selling. It will mean floor replacements, appliance replacements, and basic maintenance, but it can be done. As I'm bringing myself out of the dump, I can see the potential. My bedroom is looking great, and my living room and bathroom are halfway there. My bathroom sink is sparkling, and it was such a joy to see that and know my hard work is paying off. So those of you still wondering how to dig yourself out, and especially those like me who have zero professional resources in your community, know that you CAN do it. It takes that moment of epiphany and then the first steps of tossing away the broken Barbie doll or the moldy book from childhood, or whatever it is you're holding on to. Once you start going and see the progress, it opens your eyes. I used to look at the piles of stuff and feel too overwhelmed to even start. Then I just began in small pieces: this corner now, a bookshelf later, and worked my way into rooms. I uncovered many things I COULD still keep and was delighted at finding them; most things are either in the trash now or in a box ready to be marked for my own garage sale this spring. I do have two cats; thank goodness I didn't end up hoarding animals as that would be heartbreaking for me. I keep their litterbox area clear of filth and clutter, and they are clean cats, but I'm am SO glad they are going with me to a clean and healthy environment. | |
| Dianne | Posted: 28 January 2015 - 08:48 AM |
Hi Rave, welcome! My eyes too, were opened by watching hoarder shows. I used to think, at least I'm not that bad but I could be very soon. In actuality some of my rooms were that bad, I was still in denial. It really got me going on a path of dejunking. Your story is a familiar one. I think depression is a big factor in hoarding. Traumas can throw *messies* into full blown hoarding. A lot of us do try to do it alone because, like you pointed out for yourself, we are ashamed and have isolated ourselves. That does make the process overwhelming. As you take baby steps you'll find some strength. It's a long process but it can be done. At some point you may be able to ask for some help from family or friends. Where are you now in cleaning up? Have you been able to have your water heater fixed? Do you live alone? Any animals? How can we best help you? | |