I'm an animal rescuer, have been for well over a decade. When we started I had a really good job in a great field, made a lot of money. I loved animals and when I found out that cats were being killed in record numbers in municipal shelters I volunteered as a foster and started keeping cats for a rescue. After a few years I decided to become a rescue on my own, giving me the ability to make decisions regarding the animals in my care and also allowing me to fundraise for the animals.

In 2008 the economy tanked, at a time when we had over 40 cats and a couple of dogs in our care. Both I and my husband lost our jobs, and although we soon found other jobs, we weren't making anywhere near as much money as we had been, and we were working far more hours than we were before. At the same time adoptions ground to a halt, and donations did as well. For rescuers, it was a bad perfect storm.

Unfortunately, the animals did not stop coming in. People left them on our doorstep. A rescue asked me to temporarily foster two pregnant mama cats while they were supposedly doing some renovations, and then disappeared, leaving me with a total of 14 more kittens.

Over the next six years we ran afoul of local animal control, lost our house, lost our jobs, and both of us began to suffer from depression. I left my husband for a year but came by every day to take care of the cats and dogs. In that time though, he let the cats loose into the house and they destroyed it (this was the house we lost).

When we moved into the house we are in now, I said "never again" and I meant it. No more animals coming in. No more free range. Aggressive adoption policies. Unfortunately though, my husband had become a hoarder and I didn't even realize it. He allowed cats that hadn't been fixed to get pregnant, so I found a way to separate those females out and eventually get them all fixed. Then he started "finding" cats, and sneaking cats in from the building where they are housed. We now have over 70 cats, most living in the house with us. The cattery is a mess and I won't, can't return cats to it until it has been cleaned up. I have medical issues and while I work very hard to clean, I can't do it alone and he won't do it. At this point it's an effort to get him to go to his very part-time job.

If I had a way to do it, I'd let all but 5 or 6 of the cats go to other rescues today and all of the dogs but 2. He, on the other hand, freaks out every time we adopt an animal out, worrying himself sick that it won't be cared for. I've tried more than once explaining to him that this is what is best for the animal, that they will be going to a home where they will get all of the attention instead of having to compete for it with all of the other animals. He just doesn't see it that way. Nor does he think he has a problem.

Then there is the problem of the community, the law, and kill shelters. I think truthfully that our story is what happens to a number of rescuers and is why they become hoarders -- they go into rescue because they want to save lives from kill shelters. Then they get over their heads, and they don't know where to turn. If fellow rescuers find out how bad things are, they will CRUCIFY you. I've seen it firsthand. You will receive death threats, emails will travel the country and the world with your picture and personal information, your facebook page and twitter account will become so vile that you have to close them down, and in the end that just isolates you more than you already are.

Then there's the law -- if they find out how many animals you have, you face legal charges. If you're already struggling monetarily, the thought of being charged with a crime, going to jail, having to pay for an attorney, paying fines, etc. is so overwhelming.

And last, there's kill shelters. Last year in North Carolina the president of an animal rescue was raided by local animal control and 60 of the 90 cats she was caring for, including personal pets, cats being boarded and cats who were under veterinary care with records to prove this were killed in the rescuer's own back yard. You think it's hard for a person who hoards dolls or craft items to lose their possessions? Imagine what it does to someone who has literally dedicated their life to saving lives to go through having most or all of those lives snuffed out for no reason, and you are powerless to stop it. So asking animal control to step in is not a viable option except as a last resort.

Our own society prevents many who are overwhelmed with animals, including myself, from seeking help when they are feeling overwhelmed. Until the public is educated and understands that people who do this aren't always deliberate abusers, they're just doing the best they can in a situation they cannot control, it's not going to change. I watched the episode of Hoarders recently online with the man with all the rats, and I could identify with him. My house is the house from hell, my marriage is essentially over and if it weren't for the fact that I am a responsible adult and I have animals that need me to feed them, water them, give them medication and take them to the vet, I would pack my car with a few clothes and prized possessions tomorrow and run far away. These are my fears. Thanks for reading.