| Kristen | Posted: 30 September 2015 - 10:32 PM |
Hi all, My father has been a hoarder as long as I can remember. It was never out in the open, but our garage, basement, every closet was full to the brim with newspapers dating back decades, old paint cans, musty old clothes. My mother tried to throw things out, even would use our neighbor's trash because if she threw anything away at our house he would pull it out and hide it in the trunk of the car. She passed away in 2006 and he now has a lovely new girlfriend my two young daughter's call grandma. She has had enough, however, and I am panicked because she is planning on leaving him and I'm afraid it will be devastating to him to lose the second love of his life. It's not just the hoarding. There seem to be many other related behaviors that are all part of the same disorder. He has no sense of time passing and will spend all day looking through junk email or writing a credit card scam warning email to everyone he knows. He can't do things out of sequence but must do them thoroughly, and is constantly making lists. He also thinks his hoarding problem is simply he hasn't had time to sort through things yet, but if he were to sort through everything, it would take 40 years at the pace he does it, somehow doesn't see that. I'm trying to plan an intervention with my sister and brother. Has anyone ever done one before? How do we get a moderator or a hoarding intervention specialist? (We'll be in Miami FL). What steps do we take? I don't know where to begin? | |
Replies (1)
| Holly | Posted: 09 October 2015 - 02:13 PM |
I am in the same boat - my brother has planned an intervention for our mother who is a hoarder (or collector as she prefers to be referred to as). We are meeting at my house on Monday with my mom and dad, brother and two sisters. My younger brother can be very brash and pushy. My younger sister is a recovering addict and feels we are wrong to intervene and it should be our mother's decision to ask us for help not ours to intervene. So we should mind our own business. My older sister is Switzerland and won't chose a side and will be quiet. I am the middle one and end up always being the mediator - I also happen to live next door to my parents. I already know how this will play out, my dad will defend my mother (even though he agrees it is out of hand). My brother will explode and my mother will cry. I have done research and I think the best approach is to ask my mom if she wants help. If she does then we can come up with a plan as to where to start. If she doesn't want help then I think there is nothing we can do. We did an intervention with my sister when she was deep into her addiction and it was a waste of time and breath. She had to find her own bottom. This type of addiction I just don't know what to do or if we are even going about this the right way. I feel your pain and I too am looking for advise and support. Good luck with your dad. | |