| AuntieHoards | Posted: 22 March 2011 - 09:48 AM |
Hi, I want to start by saying that I am so thankful for this message board. It has given lots of sound advice, however I'm not sure that any of it is directly relevant to my current situation. So I figured I would write and ask for help. My aunt is a hoarder. It took a while for us to notice, but there is no doubt, really, that this is a problem that will only get worse. She suffers from paranoia, always thinks that the authorities are watching her or following her and for that reason she moved out of the house she was living in, and back home to live with my grandparents. Her previous house was rented by tenants but she didn't allow them to use the garage or the basement, because it had all of her stuff in it. We thought that made sense, because the move was only temporary but she ended up living with my grandparents for over 3 years. Since then, she has filled up the two bedrooms and the bathroom upstairs and the basement (in addition to a storage unit and the stuff still in her previous homes garage and basement). There are mice now and mice droppings and the stuff in the basement is beginning to be covered with black mold. My parents and my uncle are so fed up with trying to talk her into cleaning, that now the topic is so touchy, we can't even talk about it. Everyone get so upset. The main issue is my grandma and grandpa are quite elderly (82 and 84). My grandma has always kept an immaculate house, so clean and so organized, but now there are mice running around all over the place. Recently she was diagnosed with a terminal cancer and all she wants is her room upstairs so that she can sit and read by the window. This is obviously something that we all want to give her in her last years of life but we can't get past my aunt and her hoard. We can't even talk to her about it without getting the backlash. We tried to set up a time to clean, she agreed to it. And then just didn't show up. This is the pattern. We attempt to do things on her schedule and then she just disappears. More than wanting my grandma to have her house back, my aunt has since moved out, into a home of her own and won't take her hoard with her. I fear that she will fill up this new home and never get through the stuff in my grandma's home. It's like she just left it there for us to smell and hear rustling around. I'm so angry but I know it's not her, it's the sickness. I just don't know what to do. My grandma wants her house back, my mom wants her sister back and I just want my family to get along. Any help would be so much appreciated. Thank you! | |
Replies (5)
| Connie | Posted: 11 January 2012 - 06:51 AM |
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| NJDespres | Posted: 01 November 2011 - 05:45 PM |
For those of your are frustrated, look up Children of Hoarders. They have a website and Facebook page. They are a wonderful group with a lot of support and useful information for family members of people suffering from hoarding disorders. | |
| husband of beginning hoarder | Posted: 10 October 2011 - 06:54 PM |
My wif eis a beginning hoarder, or milder hoarder/ We can still get around the house however there is not a horizontal surface that is not cluttered. It is not new purchases but thrift store purchases that are getting us into trouble. She has gotten me so many clothes that it takes over half the bedroom. Me I prefer to have a set of clothes for each day of the week, and a few other things, but if it dont fit in a duffel bag then it is too much. If i cant move in what i drive it is too much. We have a 3 bedroom house, and I am tired of trying to clean the thing. She is not going into the trash tog et stuff i toss ( like her sister does) but I can see it getting to that point. He son is as bad if not more so. We have bikes and skateboards in the house, clothes that have not fit him in yeats and never will because they are too short. but he tossed them on the floor of the garage and left them. I work 5 days a week and clean every day but never looks better. The roaches are so bad it is driving me nuts. We did have mice but our 1 cat took care of them, I can not afford to ahve a company come in but not getting any help. In fact have been cleaning and doing laundry today and her son and his gf ( who lives here) are in thier room watching tv. I have gotten to the point of wanting to get my cdl so i can go otr truck driving so i am not here. tired and fed up. any ideas | |
| Nicole J. Osborne Despres | Posted: 23 April 2011 - 02:07 PM |
I am not in the Chicago area, but have been working with compulsive hoarding and acquiring clients to clean out their homes for eight years. Have you spoken with the company you found about payment options? Did you actually receive a quote? Most companies, acting in a contractor type industry, will offer payment plans to meet your budget. | |
| Shirl | Posted: 22 March 2011 - 05:44 PM |
I am so amazed to see that there are others like myself. Even though I don't shop anymore, my apartment is full of unopened & opened boxes & extremely unorganized. My sister & I tried to talk to my mother about getting help with her hoarding & just like the other posts on this site, my mother get angry, resentful & she won't talk to me for days at a time or she lashes out at me & it is hurtful. On the other hand, Here I am dealing with my own hoarding issues. She or no one else knows about my hoarding issues, well, a close girlfriend of mine knows & 1 other old friend who I let visit me. Oh, how embaressed & ashamed I was when they did visit me. Long story short, I want to pay for some help for me to get rid of the clutter in my apartment, but the shopping, and mis-management of my funds left me in financial trouble. I can pay in installments, but I cannot pay the entire amount up front. I only see 1 company in Chicago, but I really want to know if anyone know of a hoarding help company that is willing to take installment payments? I know that my hoarding issues has contributed to my depression & isolation poblems severly & I need advice, suggestions, & mental support real soon. Please offer me advice or suggestions. I am doing a little at a time, but it is still overwhelming to me to do this all alone. I need your help. Thanks for listening. | |