| frantic4change | Posted: 16 January 2014 - 01:56 PM |
Hi new to the group and I'm a single mother to a beautiful 4 year old little girl and live with my mother. I am praying someone has a suggestion. Sorry if this post is a bit lengthy and hope some will still read this. I used to be an extremely organized person to the point where I actually would enjoy organizing departments at companies I work for and even had people tease me about how everything was so organized. Then several years ago I experienced some tragedies in my life that left me with severe depression and anxiety causing my life to spiral downwards. I began accumulating items and without even really realizing what I was doing my organization turned into severe disorganization and clutter resulting in a disruption in our house and day to day living. My mom would constantly beg, plead and cry to help her get the house organized and that it was killing her. I wanted to help her, I wanted to make it right but for whatever reason I couldn't and I hated myself for that. Then about a year ago my daughter started asking to have friends over, my heart literally felt like it was breaking as I gave her a million excuses why they couldn't and would instead do playdates out somewhere or at the other children's houses never being able to reciprocate. I don't know what it was but a few months ago I realized I can't keep living like this and I wouldn't let the past destroy the rest of my life and affect my daughter or mom anymore. I started seeing a county psychiatrist and counselor, and researching the internet about hoarding and challenging disorganization. For months now I wake up every morning determined to clean. I would take my daughter to school get home look around and always get so overwhelmed. I don't where to start and have completely lost my inability to organize. There are days where I get home attempt to do it and just break down crying. I am proud that I was able to eliminate something's. My daughter's room is completely clean now and every night before she goes to bed we clean up anything she played with that day. I'm not sleeping on a corner of my bed anymore and instead have a completely clear bed to sleep on but I don't know where to begin with everything else and there are boxes that I can't lift alone. Everywhere I read suggests if it is beyond your control to reach out to friends, family and others and to get help with professional organizer. Even this group says "You alone can do it but you can't do it alone." And the reality is I can't do it alone. Sadly after the events that happen I slowly pushed away all my friends and isolated myself. I have absolutely no family left except for my mom who is disabled with health problems and I lost everything so I don't even have the money or a credit card to hire a professional organizer. I'm now at the point where I feel like I'm stuck. I have nowhere to turn and no resources to get the help I need to restart building my life. Does anybody know of any non-profit organization that would help obtain a professional organizer for a person who is truly committed to changing their lives and has nobody to help them? Thank you for your time! | |
Replies (9)
| Dave | Posted: 07 March 2014 - 11:58 AM |
How's the surgery recovery going? | |
| Dave | Posted: 19 January 2014 - 11:12 PM |
One more thing for your to think about right now and I'll leave you alone. You have a selfish reason on your part to continue some participation in the forum too. It will help you heal up faster. Your life experience is such that you can understand the struggles and the victories that people will express in that what are you doing today thread. You have the understanding to be able to offer encouragement and congratulations to others. As you experience pleasure over the victories of others you have been visiting with, the little "happy cells" that turn on in your body will help you heal up faster. that may sound like hokum, but it's not. Wish you the best. | |
| Dave | Posted: 19 January 2014 - 10:35 PM |
In one of your posts I think you mentioned a pretty minimal support system. You are ALWAYS welcome here! PLEASE feel free and welcome to post in the what are you doing today thread with what's up with you, even if you are not working with the cleaning right now. and when you get healed up and strengthened up some more, there are things you can do, even from your situation, to start improving it and the people here will be happy to give you encouragement for that. Please don't give up and loose your hope. THAT is what will defeat you. Thank you for seeking us out. | |
| frantic4change | Posted: 19 January 2014 - 09:52 PM |
Thanks to all who have replied but I officially quit trying to get help. I have come to realize there is no help out there unless you have $$$ and for now quit trying to get the house in order. It's too much for me and I just had surgery less than two weeks ago so it's just too much right now. Maybe I will try again to get it situated in a few months. At any rate thanks for those who replied. I can't seem to find where I can delete my original post so if anybody knows how please let me know. | |
| Dave | Posted: 19 January 2014 - 07:30 PM |
Hope you will be able to be at the chat session tonight. It will be a bit different than what you experienced the other night. There will be several people there, we go (being able to ask our specific questions of the others) in 15 minute segments. (Karl keeps time.) You can respond any time as you have an answer for someone else. Order is the order of signing in. Others would enjoy the opportunity to meet you. | |
| Dianne | Posted: 19 January 2014 - 12:01 PM |
Hi Frantic, I admire your acceptance in reaching out for actual, physical help with organizing. Whether you can or can't find the help you are looking for remember that it is you who actually does the work. With that in mind you can make a start with things that you can handle. Just small things at first like you've already done with your daughter's room. And clearing your bed. Those are great successes to spur you on! Everyone here knows the overwhelm. Join the chats and posting and people can give you the encouragement and ideas you need. You CAN do it!! | |
| Barb | Posted: 17 January 2014 - 03:25 PM |
Dear Frantic to Change, | |
| Roxie | Posted: 17 January 2014 - 01:56 PM |
Hi, and welcome. Sorry to not respond earlier, but I usually only go on the Daily thread. You are welcome to join in there, and I do recommend that if you can do it, you join any of the groups as Karl mentioned. I don't know of any free services. Are you in any kind of actual talking therapy, or is it just medication? Sometimes Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help get folks unstuck. You can ask your psychiatrist if they have any resources to refer you to for some kind of assistance, although it will not likely be exactly the assistance for which you hope. Meanwhile, come over to the Daily thread and post. Also, read through a lot of the older threads. Start by taking a garbage bag or even a grocery bag and picking up anything you see that is clearly garbage until you fill the bag. Take the bag to the garbage. There is your start. Every day before you sleep name three things for which you are grateful. Make it a ritual. Welcome. | |
| Karl | Posted: 16 January 2014 - 03:15 PM |
Hi f4c, welcome to the group! For a start, I'll mention that we'll be meeting for real-time support on Sunday (5pm PST, 8pm EST), and also tonight (Thursday) (6pm PST, 9pm EST) for an off-calendar meet; maybe you can join us for one or both of those? | |