I've been out and about, and now I am back at home and deluttering...

Thank you, Tillie...it's as if you read my mind...and also planted some seeds about self care that I hadn't thought about before.

Inherited things and gifts...

When I was younger my home was not a reflection of my personal tastes because of all the things that were gifts or things I inherited.
I kept and used these things because I felt that I should even though they were nothing that I would have ever chosen for myself.
My mother was a major factor in my feeling that I had to keep these things because she always said "you have to keep that!"
She was giving me crap that she did not want and nobody else in the family wanted either, but rather than toss or donate this stuff she dumped it on me.
One example, a christmas tree decoration that was crushed, wrapped up in tissue paper.
"WTH???"
One day I took a stand and said "I am not the official keeper of the crap!"

When loved ones die and we are left with all their possessions it is very emotional to sift through the items. It hurts so bad.
With time, we are able to come to terms with our loss.
But by now the items bring back fond memories of the person.
The best way that we can honor their memory is to keep a few truely treasured items and let go of the other things that we do not need, use, want, treasure or even like.

Living with items year after year, decade after decade, we don't question "why?" do I have this item.
Things just become part of our lives like the sun rising in the morning, it's just there.
This is when we need to go around and pick up or look at everything in our homes and ask ourselves important questions.
Why do I have this?
Do I like this?
Do I use this?
Do I have something else like this thing that I use & like better than this one?
Is this item chipped, stained, torn or damaged?
Does this item contribute to my vision as to how I want my home to look?
Does this item reflect the real me, the person I truly am?
Does this item add to or subtract from my goal, vision, peace of mind?

When deciding to let go of something I have inherited, I always think of the person who it belonged to and know in my heart that Laura or Beulah would never have wanted me to feel that I needed to hold onto it, "just because" it came from their homes.
They loved me and want me to be happy and enjoy my life to the fullest.
They would be the first to tell me to let it go.

Once I have decided to donate something
I never look back.
Don't worry if the items may be considered "collectables".
Only collect around you the things that please you.
And when these things no longer please you, let them go.

We all must put a price on our own happiness, peace of mind and the serenity we get from living in a home that gives us that feeling of inner tranquility.

Thank you so very much for your responses....and such wise counsel that I've been re-reading the posts here to keep myself focused.

It's amazing, but I can't imagine my house decluttered and clean. I moved into my husband's house when we got married, and just added my family stuff to his family stuff to make our one big mess...but I can imagine one space at a time. Like what my dresser will look like if it's empty the way it was when I cleaned it off and polished the top many moons ago.

I also had never thought about magazines being staged. No wonder they are untouchable.

Because of the suggestions here, I have begun trying to think about what I actually really like, instead of all the other reasons I keep things. Because I have sooooooooooo much of my stuff that was inherited, and a lot of emotional responses wrapped up in things left to me, I guess I have lost sight of what kinds of possessions I actually would enjoy living with.

I like a lot of different kinds of things, but what would I want to see every day? What is most useful? What do I not really particularly like, but I just want to want to like it cause it has sentimental value? There are some pieces in my home that I treasure, and are kind of ugly. Ha! Don't tell anyone I said that :>)
And it's okay to keep a few pieces like that cause they still bring me joy. But geeze, some things are still here cause I just feel guilty....

Those items really don't fit my vision of the free and easy home I'd like to live in.

I surely appreciate the suggestions/ideas/comments on this topic, and would love to read more as people post or post again. It's been exceptionally helpful.

Again, thank you for your faithfulness to this group.

Hi!

My ideal is certainly what Cory said: "Like the day I moved in".

Recently, a friend told me about to choose a "favorite place" and keep it clear and nice, regardless all the other places are a mess. The special place can be very tiny, the important thing is that it always must be OK.

This remind me something I read in this message board, on the idea of having spaces of "no clutter".

I think one could begin by doing so, and later, little by little, let the "oasis" grow. Of course, I will try it! 🙂

Tillie,
I could not agree more! Don't oversell your mind on a professionally decorated home or you will just be constantly discouraged when your hard work does not have interior design results. Most of the time I ask people what they want their home to look like they tell me, "Like the day I moved in, it was beautiful and clean". Keep your vision simple and to your taste, not what a magazing tells you it should look like. It is okay to dream big, but it takes baby steps to get there!

Best of SUCCESS TO YOU!

I loved reading your posts, Tillie and Diane.
First steps: seeing the area clean and uncluttered with only the things you use often and need to keep at hand in sight.
Some people do before and after photos. I am already a very visual person and find locating the camera, going out to purchase film (it's not digital), taking the photos, getting them developed, etc. an unnecessary distraction from the task at hand.

I do enjoy decorating and keep a binder with things I have done to the house: when, source, the cost, etc. and ideas for what i want to change next.
When i have one area complete, I sometimes choose one new thing to add: a vase of fresh flowers, framed greeting card or photo, colorful pillow, etc. to make it fresh.

for me, I visualized counter clean, clothes put away, simple things like that. Visualized no piles of clothes in living room or on recliner. When piles were everywhere, I did not know where to start. It was so familiar, had to actively visualize an area clean before I could make it happen. Never had a vision of whole clean house, just an area at a time. Now it is time to visualize craft room table organized, then desk organized, just go around room and see it differently. I can now walk through it but a goat trail is not good enough.

HI 🙂

First, put down those decorating magazines.
Deal with reality.
Magazine articles and photographs are staged, not real life.
My house started it's life as a one room "shack" about a hundred years ago in a near by mining camp.
Was moved to this site when the mine failed and the town it was in became a ghost town.
Over the years previous owners added on an indoor bathroom and two tiny tiny bedrooms.
They wired it for some electricity by running some wires to it.
They put in some makeshift plumbing.
The lot it's on was nothing but a sand dune.
This is the reality I started with.
Working with what I had to start with my vision was to clear the property of all ticktacky sheds, awnings, fencing and animal pens.
Define the areas near the house that I wanted to have plants, bushes and trees growing.
Twenty years later, the small garden area is exactly how I saw it in my vision.
Meanwhile inside the house, my vision was to have the walls painted exactly the colors that I wanted them to be.
To heck with what any other person may think.
The drapes are ones that please me. Not fancy or elaborate but pretty to look at and easy to clean in the washing machine.
The furniture is the pieces that I have chosen over the years because I liked the piece.
Nothing really matches but because it's all different and unique it all goes together very nicely.
There isn't very much furniture but every piece is used and enjoyed.
My decorations are only the things that please me.
There aren't too many because they must be precious to me since I have to dust them and I won't waste my time dusting things I'm not over the moon crazy about.
When my Father and I rewired the house, I chose light fixtures and wall switch cover plates that I liked.
Recently switched out the ceiling fan and put up a new one that I like even more.
Tore down a wall in the hallway to make one bedroom bigger because the bedrooms were only closet size.
Way back in the old days people out here tended to have very small homes.
Cut through a wall to make a pantry beside the pumphouse area in a space that was being wasted because I did not need the potting "shed" space someone else wanted there.

Anyways, what I am trying to say here is
work with what you have
Try to see it as you would like it to look.
Choose only the things that please you, yourself and no one else.
Sort through all your stuff and only allow those things that serve you to remain.
Keep only the furniture you use and enjoy.
Make it easy to clean and keep clean.
Imagine sitting in the space, imagine what you would like to see.
My decorating is a reflection of me. It is my home.