You are so right, Anony, I like the "pay it forward" concept too. I have had a lot of opportunities to practice gratitude. Of course, I've had my days of being whiney and ungrateful and grumpy, so no one go scheduling my canonization just yet - but one day at a time, God is leading me. 😉

Yes, CriticalMass, i hear you on the envy thing...i go back & forth from trying to visualize what improvements i can make & trying to just appreciate what i have...and in a spiritual sense, both are important in different ways....if i just go for a funky, rustic, camping out, artsy, hippie 'motif', i could likely do it on my budget....ha ha
I dont think it is wrong to want basic needs met, tho...when i was in worse poverty than now, a few years ago, everytime i had my needs met to a point of comfort, i tried to see where i could then reach out to help another, in some way...that felt like a positive cycle!
I hope you can have your needs met soon! All living things have certain needs & its ok to want that & work towards it! ~♡~

Anony, I know it's hard not to envy and have wishful thinking. Since losing my parents' home to foreclosure and now money has dwindled to the point I have to stay with a friend, it's been a real spiritual struggle and test. I am working on putting my total trust in God and believing He's on my side no matter what. I even made a resolution to do my best to stop compulsively looking at houses as I drive around and wishing I had one. I tell myself that's only feeding the envy beast and not in line with the trust in God thing.

CriticalMass, thank you...i know most people dont give their dreams much weight, but i did a dream group for a year & that made me realize how insightful dreams can be, especially when important things are happening in life, and in this case, when the dreams keep going strong even after waking up several times & going back to sleep in the same dream scenario. The things that stuck out as not making sense, originally, now all fit perfectly on how i could not & still can not get this place decent...what hit me today is, i simply can not afford to do that much. I could very easily get way in over my head in costs. Ive got to be very careful doing the new house....meanwhile, my ex's new lady likely has such extravagant luxuries as outer walls, full indoor plumbing, etc...i can not compete with the house i know she has...but it isnt that either of them are snobs....i see it through his eyes and i dont like it either...that is really hard...i just keep imagining what each area could be...

Anony, just keep focusing on how things are getting better. I had two rotten dreams this morning. Should've just gotten up at 7:00 the first time I woke, but I had gone to sleep late so I wanted to lie in bed a bit. Well, so I fell back to sleep and went into REM, dang it. Stupid creepy and hoarding dreams ensued. When will I learn!?

I'm not generally a person who enjoys tracking her dreams for insight, because mine are so distorted by my meds and my sleep disorders that they are just a jumbled mess. Once in a blue moon, I will have one that is actually profound or an improved version of a yucky one (which probably does at least mean whatever the yuck was, it's getting better). But if I could safely avoid dreaming altogether, I would.

.....i keep putting more & more pieces of that dream puzzle together....it has been a very hard truth to swallow...i liked it better when i thought it was a warning that my ex was dangerous....this is awful....i hate myself so much....

...well, i can now post in this thread about those nightmares earlier this week cuz a new meaning hit me today, as it relates to hoarding...my struggling to get away was my struggling to get away from this part of me that cant seem to get my place fixed up nice..there are obvious associations to that...and when my Mom & sisters showed up in the dream & i got angry at them, it was cuz them turning on me years ago, when i did the right thing concerning my Dad's will, was a harsh turning point in what helped push me over the edge in my downfall into despair, drug addiction & my place becoming a mess....but i can not blame them..ive had the power to change it for a long time but havent...that realization today has been a rough one....

I just found this thread. All day I have been thinking of my dream last night. I dreamt that I got a stock tip to buy silver. I was checking the prices or silver and I bought $1500.00 worth of stock. I bought low and the price went up. I sold it and made a lot of money!

In real life, I found a bought of tarnished silver at my mother's. She wanted me to take it home and polish and then give it back to her. I told her that if I take it, I'm going to take it and sell it. Needless to say, she ended up keeping it. Unlike the silver plated utensils I found in my own house, these pieces were stamped and solid silver.

I also found a stash of old coins in my garage. Some were from my grandfather. Other coins were really heavy, some John Kennedy half dollars and other silver pieces that I've had since I was a kid.

Does my dream meant that I should buy stock or cash in my coins? Oh my, I even hoard money.

It is great that you are paying attention to your dreams. Dreams reveal so much. I could write reams about dreams.

Unfortunately, I have to say that you have the cart before the horse. When the dreams clear up, the hoarding will as well, not vice versa. Personal experience.

I don't get the nightmares but some of the posts on the site are as distressing to me as I think nightmares might be.

No, Tillie, I don't mind at all. And I'll be praying for you. My aunt and cousin had a severe hoarding problem and the family where they lived ended up dealing with it after the daughter died and my aunt needed care. That's why this board exists, so we can share. I just appreciate a response to my post. Bless you! 🙂

Hi CriticalMass 🙂

Since I am on the other side of the fence, hope you don't mind me replying here.

So many, many nights my sleep is disrupted by night terrors and nightmares about the hoard here.
If he dies before me it will be up to me to clear it all out.
There is soooooo much and lots of it is very heavy stuff.
I am in no condition physically to do this!
Finances will be extremely limited so hiring help will be out of the question.
Dump fees will be outrageous.
The pawn shop would buy some of the tools and huge tool boxes but I would need help loading and unloading them.
The cats he has hoarded will still need food and Vet care.
I am constantly worrying about how I will financially and physically manage it all.
Then there are the serious structural issues with this house from so many years of neglect and hoarding abuse.
I do whatever I can to keep things right here but I am limited physically and financially.
These worries and more are constantly on my mind, day and night, awake or asleep.
Sorry to be such a "Debbie Downer" but you did ask. ;D